The People Factor: How Building Great Relationships and Ending Bad Ones Unlocks Your God-Given Purpose (34 page)

A real, vibrant relationship with God is the vertical factor that will empower all the horizontal realities in your life. Knowing and believing you are loved, forgiven, and accepted by God will give you the fuel you need and the security you desire in order to have healthy relationships with the people around you. Even if someone fails to love you the way you love him or her, knowing that God’s unconditional love is a constant reality in your life will forever make the difference for you, no matter what!

RELATIONSHIP REMINDERS

• Lovesickness is not a physical illness. It is something that afflicts the heart of a person who is madly in love with or completely focused on someone else who does not acknowledge interest or return affection.

• Lovesick people often find that the ones they love are not awakened to the way they feel about them or simply do not care how much they long for them.

• Lovesick people need to realize that people who do not want to be inconvenienced or who are uncomfortable in relationships do not qualify as good candidates for great relationships.

• Lovesick people need to understand that they may need to walk away from people who do not value their presence.

• A relationship with another human being will never be an antidote for lovesickness. The only way to cure a lovesick heart is through a deep, personal relationship with God.

• God is lovesick for you. You are His sister, His darling, His dove, and His flawless one.

RAISING YOUR RELATIONAL IQ

1. Have you ever been lovesick? What was that experience like?

2. If you are lovesick now, is it time to walk away from the relationship you have been so strongly pursuing?

3. Have you ever thought about God in terms of a Lover
pursuing you, His beloved? How do you feel when you realize He is longing for you?

4. What does it mean to you personally to know you are part of God’s family?

5. How does the fact that you are God’s darling impact you?

6. How do you feel when you realize that God wants to bring peace to every area of your life?

7. In your own words, express what it means to you to be flawless before God.

Acknowledgments

Beth Clark: we make a great team!

John Eames: thanks for believing in me.

Brian Hampton: I greatly appreciate your willingness to take a risk on a new author.

Kristen Parrish, Janene MacIvor, and the Thomas Nelson editorial and production teams: thank you for shepherding this book through the publishing process.

Chad Cannon, Katy Boatman, Emily Lineberger, and the Thomas Nelson marketing and sales departments: thank you for your efforts to promote
The People Factor.

My Cabinet: thank you for your faithfulness, hard work, support, and prayers.

To all my family and friends who offered prayer, support, and encouragement for this project: I am grateful!

Notes

Foreword

1.
Seth’s Blog
, October 9, 2012, http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2012/10/association.html.

Chapter 1

1
. Jay Worth Allen, “The Meaning of Sincerity,”
Freed in Christ!
(blog, August 16, 2010), http://drjaymissdiana.com/WRITINGS/Other%20Writings/Meaning%20of%20Sincerity.htm.

2
.
Oxford Dictionaries
, s.v. “hypocrisy,” accessed July 11, 2013, http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/hypocrisy?view=uk.

3
. Google, http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=definition+of+vulnerable&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8.

4
. John Donne, “XVII. Meditation,” in
Devotions upon Divergent Occasions: Together with Death’s Duel
(Middlesex, UK: Echo Library, 2008), 97.

5
. Gary Smalley, Michael Smalley, and Robert S. Paul,
The DNA of Relationships
(Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House, 2004), 42.

Chapter 3

1
. Julie Creswell and Landon Thomas Jr., “The Talented Mr.
Madoff,”
New York Times
, January 24, 2009, http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/business/25bernie.html?pagewanted=all.

2
. Colleen Long and Tom Hays, “Mark Madoff Suicide: Bernie Madoff’s Son found Hanged in NYC Apartment,”
Huffington Post
, December 11, 2010, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/11/mark-madoff-suicide-hanged_n_795342.html.

Chapter 6

1
. Susan Scott,
Fierce Conversations
(New York: Berkley, 2002), xiv.

2
. T. D. Jakes,
Let It Go
(New York: Atria, 2012).

Chapter 10

1
. Marvin Vincent,
Vincent’s Word Studies in the New Testament
, vol. 1, 2nd ed. (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers), 98.

Chapter 11

1
. Answers, s.v. “Marvin Gaye,” http://www.answers.com/topic/marvin-gaye.

2
. Jim Collins,
Good to Great
(New York: HarperCollins, 2001), 41.

3
.
Vincent’s Word Studies in the New Testament
, 528.

4
. The NIV says John Mark “deserted them” and
The Message
says he “jumped ship.”

5
. Spiros Zodhiates, ed.,
The Complete Word Study Dictionary New Testament
(Chattanooga, TN: AMG International, 1992), 1418.

6
. Vincent,
Vincent’s Word Studies of the New Testament
, 528.

Chapter 12

1
. BBC History, “Henry Stanley,” http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/historic_figures/stanley_sir_henry_morton.shtml.

2
. For a biblical example of exchanging gifts as part of a covenant ceremony, see the story of Abraham’s offering to God and God’s promises to Abraham in Genesis 14:18–20; 15:5–10; and 22:1–18.

3
. Tim Bagwell,
When I See the Blood
(Hagerstown, MD: McDougal Publishing, 1998), 73–74; www.mcdougalpublishing.com, http://www.sermonillustrator.org/illustrator/sermon10/cutting_the_covenant.htm.

4
. BBC History, “Henry Stanley.”

5
. Richard Booker,
The Miracle of the Scarlet Thread
(Shippensburg, PA: Destiny Image, 1981), 30.

Chapter 15

1
. Abraham Cowley, “Gold,” in
The Poems of Abraham Crowley
, ed. A. R. Weller (n.p.: Nabu Press, 2011), 55.

2
. Joyce Carol Oats,
The Collector of Hearts
(New York: Plume, 1999), 45.

3
. Blaise Pascal,
Pascal’s Pensees
(Teddington, UK: Echo Library, 2008), 276.

4
. “Alienation of Affection,”
The Dr. Phil Show
, May 13, 2010, http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/1458.

5
. Max Lucado,
A Gentle Thunder
(Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), 122.

About the Author

Photo courtesy of The Worship Center Christian Church

The compelling, insightful voice of Pastor Vanable H. Moody II, affectionately known to thousands as “Pastor Van,” has been heard on secular and gospel music radio stations, at the Vatican (as part of Pope John Paul II’s Pontifical Council for Promoting Christian Unity), in the classrooms of Harvard and Oxford Universities where he has furthered his education, in the World Council of Churches (as part of the Decade to Overcome Violence in Berlin, Germany), as part of the thirtieth anniversary of the March on Washington, at the Black Women in Church and Society (BWCS) Think Tank, and
most frequently in the pulpit of his dynamic church, the Worship Center in Birmingham, Alabama.

Comfortable and enthusiastically received by a variety of audiences, Pastor Van is an engaging communicator, gifted visionary, compassionate pastor, strong leader, and skilled administrator. He was led to establish the Worship Center ministry in March 2006. Since that time the Worship Center has grown at an astounding pace.

Pastor Van; his wife, Ty; and their children, Eden Sydney and Ethan Isaiah, live in Birmingham, where his vibrant ministry is at the forefront of a fresh and exciting movement of God.