In any man.
In Rick.
She was so close, she knew. Close to believing she too could have the happily ever after and stability that she’d always viewed from the outside looking in.
But lingering questions remained. Like what would she do with that all-encompassing fear of abandonment and betrayal? Where would she put the memories of being left and how could she overcome the years she’d spent teaching herself that being alone and moving from place to place was safer for her heart?
“Let’s go,” Rick muttered, breaking into her thoughts. He grabbed her hand and started for the field. “You owe me big time, little brother.” He was clearly not happy with being displaced by Roman.
Ten minutes later, they’d retrieved a blanket from the car and had joined the masses on the field. Despite the fact that they were surrounded by people, Kendall cuddled on a blanket with Rick. Music played from speakers around them and she couldn’t be more content. The show finally started with slides of Yorkshire Falls dating back to its founding.
Rick had been right. Though many of the pictures and some of the narrative were interesting, it made for more intimate moments under the stars than a movie that held anyone’s interest. Still, Kendall could see why it had become a town tradition and she was glad to know she’d been a part of it.
Rick pulled her closer, his arms wrapped around her waist and his face buried in her hair. “Did you mean what you said earlier?” he asked.
She could pretend to not know what he meant but that wouldn’t be fair, not now that she knew his past and understood his latent fears. Turning so she could see his face, she met his serious gaze. “You mean about staying here?”
He nodded, saying nothing. But the way he looked at her—so full of longing and desire—sent shivers running through her. He waited for her to respond, like Rick, so full of patience and understanding.
And while he waited, his strong hands moved upward, brushing through her hair, tugging at her scalp, and creating both an erotic sensation and a sense of bonding and trust that slashed through her fears and reservations.
That made her want to trust for the first time. “Rick,
I . . . ”
He placed a finger over her lips. “Before you answer, there’s something I want you to know.”
He didn’t need to say anything. Everything she needed to see and hear was written on his expressive face. But he obviously needed to talk. “What is it?”
He cupped his palms against her cheeks. “I love you, Kendall.”
Her heart nearly stopped beating. Just as she’d reached a tentative agreement within herself, he offered her the ultimate, permanent expression of faith and commitment. One she wasn’t sure she knew how to return considering she’d never been shown how.
But she wanted to. He was a special man who deserved so much from life and he’d been denied it all for too long. He loved her. “Rick, I . . . ”
Loud gasps all around cut off anything she’d been about to say. Kendall turned to see what the cause of the commotion could possibly be and jerked around toward the large screen that seconds earlier had held black and white, then sepia-toned pictures of the town. But instead of muted, boring photos, there was a huge, blown-up photograph Kendall recognized well.
She should considering she’d posed for it. Back when she’d needed money to get her aunt into the optimal nursing home and before Brian had come up with classier shoots, Kendall had posed for a lingerie catalogue in a variety of outfits. Some had included leather. In this one she held fur-lined handcuffs and a silk scarf. And though she’d never choose to wear or use the products she’d modeled, at the time, none of the photos had embarrassed or shamed her. Until now.
Because back then she’d been viewing the pictures in a sales catalogue, not in what was meant to be a display of town pride. The thought brought her back to her surroundings and she realized she was practically naked on screen, on display for the entire town to see. In front of all the people who respected Officer Rick Chandler and the rest of his family. It wasn’t just her reputation at stake, it was theirs too.
“Oh, my God. I have to get out of here.” She jumped out of Rick’s arms and stood, but as all eyes turned her way, she realized her mistake immediately.
Whoever had been focused on the photograph now turned their attention on the subject herself. Pointing, whispering, laughing. Kendall had become the immediate object of ridicule. Her face heated and flamed and waves of nausea washed over her. How had this happened?
Rick wrapped an arm around her waist and tried to nudge her forward. “Kendall, let’s go.”
But his voice barely penetrated the fog suddenly surrounding her. Glancing back, she saw the photograph had been replaced by a more recent one of First Street. The evidence was gone but the damage had been done, Kendall was forced to acknowledge. “I thought . . . ”
“You can tell me whatever you thought later. Let me get you home first.”
She felt him push at her again, to get her to move but she remained rooted in place. “I thought I could finally belong.”
But obviously
belonging
wasn’t a word she’d ever have the right to use. The laughter, shocked gasps, and muted whispers of people she’d come to know and care about still rang in her ears, reminding her of her first day in the beauty salon, when folks had made it clear she was an outsider.
She always would be.
“You
do
belong,” Rick told her, hoping his words would penetrate. She belonged here in this town and to him.
Rick knew the people in Yorkshire Falls well and for the most part they were a warm, welcoming, forgiving lot. Minus a select few. Their reaction to the photograph had been borne of shock but no one would penalize Kendall for her choice in modeling jobs, of that he was certain.
However that didn’t take into account the photo’s immediate impact. The picture had been taken for the purpose of enticing buyers—men and women whose tastes ran for the extremely hot and sexy, and to the more eclectic games in the bedroom. And it had done its job well. When Rick closed his eyes, he saw Kendall in a leather bustier, her plump cleavage enticing him, her flat stomach calling to him. And though no one in town would hold a benign photograph or job against her, they wouldn’t quickly forget what they’d seen either.
Hell, he wouldn’t forget the sight of her in all that leather. Leather. He flashed back to the last time he’d seen a leather getup—on Lisa Burton.
Come let me show you my props,
she’d said and dangled a pair of fur-lined handcuffs at him. Son of a bitch, Rick thought.
“I belong?” Kendall asked on a high-pitched laugh. “Ask these people if I’m one of them.” She shook her head and he realized her entire body was trembling.
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “We’re going home.” Much as he wanted to settle things with Lisa once and for all, he needed to take care of Kendall first. “I don’t know for a fact who did this,” he told her. “But I have a hunch. You need to realize it feels bad now, but it doesn’t mean a damn thing.”
She jerked out of his grasp, staring at him with a wide, incredulous gaze. “Are you serious? It means
everything.
”
His stomach churned at the force of her words. Obviously she believed this had changed things for her. For them.
She’d not only withdrawn but he could see her flight mechanism kicking in, something ingrained in her from her past. When things got tough, her relatives shuffled her from one house to another. When her life as an adult got shaky, she got into her car and ran. With this photograph, Kendall was facing her biggest challenge—would she gather her inner courage, stay and fight?
Or would she continue to withdraw from him until she felt justified in leaving?
“I’m not going to argue with you now.” He tugged on her hand and forcibly pulled her away from the staring eyes and the not-so-hushed whispers, and led her toward the car.
He couldn’t force her not to run again. He just had to remind her of how he felt before that damning blown-up photograph. He loved her and he’d damn well tell her again, when she was ready to listen. Right now, the shock and pain were still acute. After she’d had time to absorb and deal with this embarrassment, he’d divulge his feelings once more.
If she left after that, at least he could tell himself he’d given her everything he had to offer. Just as he’d done once before with Jillian.
And so much more was at stake now.
They pulled up to her house and Rick started to get out of the car.
Kendall turned toward him, her eyes vague and blank. “You don’t need to walk me inside. Besides, I need some time alone.”
His stomach plummeted at her plainly spoken words. “To pull further away?”
“You should really check on Raina,” she said instead of answering him. “The shock of seeing that picture couldn’t be good for her heart.”
“The only thing that will happen to my mother’s heart as a result of tonight is that it’ll hurt for you. I’m sure she can handle this.” He clenched his fists at his sides.
“You should still check on her.”
He couldn’t argue that point any more than he’d be able to get through to Kendall tonight. Her walls were miles high and excluded him. “You’ll call if you need me?” he asked.
She nodded. But as she got out without a word, slamming the car door behind her, he knew he wouldn’t be the one hearing from her tonight or any other night soon.
Raina paced the floor of her kitchen. Her unwilling co-conspirators in her health scheme surrounded her. Eric sat beside her at the white Formica table while Roman and Charlotte stood by the cabinets across the room. They’d met up here after tonight’s fiasco and though no one had seen or heard from Rick since Kendall’s picture had been plastered across the screen for the entire town to see, all were concerned.
The only person missing was Chase. Since he’d had an employee covering the slide show for the paper, he’d missed the action and wasn’t here now. Thank goodness since Raina wasn’t ready to deal with her oldest son and her own lies tonight. Tonight she wanted to help the child who needed her most.
“Tonight was a disgrace,” Raina said. “A complete and utter disgrace. I can’t believe anyone would do such a thing.” She frowned at the memory of what she had seen flashed upon the screen.
“I hardly think posing for a lingerie catalogue constitutes a disgrace,” Charlotte defended Kendall. “Isn’t that true, Roman?”
He cleared his throat. “I agree. Even if the . . . uh . . . props were somewhat kinky, I think Kendall looked hot.” Charlotte jammed her husband in the ribs with her elbow.
“Great. I mean Kendall looked great,” Roman corrected on a forced groan. Then he reached out and pulled his disgruntled wife into a hug. “You know what I meant. I adore you but a guy would have to be dead not to look.”
Raina rolled her eyes.
“You should have quit while you were ahead, son,” Eric said, chiming in at last.
“She wasn’t a disgrace,” Roman said.
“I agree.” Eric propped an elbow on the table.
Raina smiled. She’d knowingly taken the temperature of the room and it had registered high on Kendall’s side. “Okay, now that we’re all on the same wavelength, what are we going to do to help Kendall out? Lord knows the poor woman must be mortified.”
“The most we can do is cut off any gossip we might hear and support her. Beyond that I’m sure she’d like the whole thing dropped,” Charlotte said.
“Dropped?” Raina said, outraged on Kendall’s behalf. “First of all, someone set the poor girl up.”
“And it’s up to her to figure out who did it,” Roman said in a stern voice meant to warn Raina to mind her own business.
She ought to know considering she’d been on the receiving end of his outburst before. But she’d given birth to him and that gave her some seniority and the right to continue her thoughts. “Second of all she’s like family and I’m sure Rick would appreciate it if . . . ”
“We all minded our own business,” Eric finished for her.
Raina scowled his way. Considering they’d grown close over the last few months, he understood her burning desire for grandchildren and happy marriages for her sons. Neither of those things would happen if Kendall got spooked and tried to run off now.
“I agree, Raina. As much as you love Rick and Kendall, you can’t make decisions for them and you can’t change what fate has in store.” Charlotte spoke softly but in a pleading voice.
“I beg to differ. If you’ll recall, a little thing like a fake heart condition got my sons to participate in that ridiculous coin toss and put Roman on a wife hunt. Glitches aside, you two are extremely happy. I’d call that altering fate.” And though she still felt awful about lying, the cause and the end result had been positive, thank God. Given the opportunity to do it all over again, she’d take a different course of action. However, she couldn’t deny it had worked.
“You will mind your own business, Mom.” Roman’s deep blue eyes, so much like his father’s, bore into hers.
She exhaled hard. “What’s so wrong with giving support to people you love?”
Charlotte crossed the room and placed a hand on Raina’s arm. “Listen. I’ve spoken with Kendall and from what I can figure Rick had his hands full with keeping her in town, and that was before someone put her on display for everyone to see. He’s going to need your support but not your meddling. You’re going to have to trust me on this one.”
“I wish someone would trust me,” Rick said.
Raina gasped and everyone turned at the unexpected sound of Rick’s voice.
“I’m not sure whether to be more insulted that you’re all here discussing
my
life or that you’ve been keeping secrets.” He stepped into the kitchen, arms folded across his chest and a scowl on his face.
Raina hadn’t heard him enter the house and from the shocked expressions around her, neither had anyone else. He leaned against the door frame, looking exhausted and distraught. Defeat wasn’t in a Chandler’s vocabulary, but it was obvious that whatever had happened between him and Kendall hadn’t gone well.
And judging by his obvious displeasure now, things here wouldn’t go much better. “How long have you been standing there?” Raina asked. But the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach had already provided the answer.