She wiped a tear from her cheek, one she hadn’t realized she’d shed. And what about Pearl and Eldin, she thought, taking in the brownies. How could she tell them they needed to move out of the large house into the smaller one just so she could sell the home out from under them?
The same way she’d told her sister she was taking her away from Yorkshire Falls, that’s how. And the same way she’d ignored Rick’s words.
I love you,
he’d said. And she’d walked away anyway. She shivered despite the heat, realizing she still stood on the porch.
With a sigh, she picked up the plate of brownies and let herself inside. Happy made a beeline across the house to greet her at the front door. Tail wagging, he jumped on her, his front paws nearly hitting her plate.
“Happy, down.”
Her stern voice worked. The dog settled at her feet in a sitting position, but his tail still wagged with glee. “At least someone’s happy to see me today.” After putting her things down in the kitchen, she gave the dog the attention he craved, and he reciprocated, the laps of his tongue and his furry acceptance almost more than she could handle.
He loved her unconditionally and all he asked in return was that she love him back. Despite the fact that she’d been a perfect stranger until last night, he trusted her to provide him with that safe haven and love he sought.
And she would. So why couldn’t she trust the same way? When had her life become so complicated, Kendall wondered. She walked to the window, Happy at her side, and looked out at the backyard, at the stretch of green grass and trees she remembered from childhood. The sight brought her back to the tea parties with Aunt Crystal where the stuffed animals were the guests. Kendall realized now that her aunt had used the animals as weights to prevent the towel they sat on from blowing away in the wind. But she didn’t care. The animals had consumed her tea and they hadn’t answered back or interrupted her stories.
Neither, she remembered, had Aunt Crystal. A smile tipped her lips at the wonderful memory. One that didn’t bring her pain, only comfort, and she hugged the dog close. With the memory came the answer to her earlier question. Kendall couldn’t give blind trust the way Happy did because she was human. She had memories, both good and bad, which shaped the person she’d become. An empty, distrustful person, she thought sadly.
Even Rick, who’d been burned badly once before, had opened his heart. And she’d destroyed any love and respect he’d once had.
You’re unable to commit, unwilling to face your fears,
he’d said.
And I’m disappointed in you.
His words had been like a punch in the stomach, then and now. They’d had the same emotional impact Aunt Crystal’s words had when she’d told Kendall she couldn’t stay in Yorkshire Falls. The same impact her parents’ second departure had had, the day they’d packed Hannah off for boarding school and left again for parts unknown. Kendall wrapped her arms around her waist, trying to get past the remembered pain.
Rick was right. She couldn’t trust because she hadn’t faced her fears. She hadn’t dealt with her past, but she was dealing now. Because she’d already lost Rick, was on the verge of losing Hannah, and she realized, probably too late, that she no longer wanted to be alone.
The irony was clear.
The very life she’d always run from was the life she’d secretly craved.
The startling thought ricocheted through her brain. The little girl who’d loved tea parties had subconsciously dreamed of having a family of her own. People who loved her. People she trusted to be there in good times and bad.
But since her parents hadn’t been those people in her formative years and Aunt Crystal couldn’t be, Kendall had closed herself off to any more hurt, disappointment, or pain. Her first step had been to convince herself that by the time she was eighteen and her parents left again, she was already so estranged that she didn’t care where they went or what they did. But she’d lied to herself, she realized now.
Losing parents in any way, at any age, hurt badly. She’d lost hers twice, both times because they’d rather travel than be with her, and the effect on her psyche had been devastating. She’d withdrawn so far from her emotions it was amazing Rick had been able to break through at all.
But he had. And she loved him too. She swallowed hard, the pain in her chest and the knot in her throat hard to bear. She loved him yet she’d pushed him away. In falling back on old habits and patterns, she’d hurt a man who’d taken the greatest risk of all and reached out to her despite his past hurt.
There was no possible way Rick could ever forgive her nor could he begin to understand what drove her need to remain in a self-contained cocoon of safety. Unfortunately she no longer felt as safe or protected as she once had. Instead she felt ripped raw, exposed, and she hurt badly. But if she hurt, she was feeling. For the first time.
Which meant just maybe she had a future.
Raina sat in the living room of Eric’s house while he made himself busy doing heaven knew what. She didn’t mind, rather she enjoyed the solitary time she spent in his home. It had been too long since she’d enjoyed the sounds of a man puttering around her and she savored the feeling. Soon she’d have even more family around her when Eric’s daughters and their children arrived.
Raina couldn’t wait to spend the time with them and her heart swelled at being included and accepted. Eric planned a quiet afternoon at home and dinner at Norman’s in deference to her charade. He didn’t approve of her faking a heart condition but he accepted, his only stipulation that if ever directly questioned by Raina’s sons, he refused to lie.
Which was why his associate, Dr. Leslie Gaines, was now her doctor of record. Personal and professional lives should be kept separate anyway though at this point, it didn’t much matter. Roman knew, Rick had just found out, and no doubt they’d fill Chase in next.
“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting,” Eric said as he joined her in the living room and sat by her side on the white sofa.
In his striped polo shirt and khaki pants, he looked handsome. Her heart fluttered each time he walked into a room, a sensation she still hadn’t gotten used to after being a widow for twenty years, but a feeling she definitely enjoyed. Eric’s attention made her feel years younger and she thanked God every day for a second chance at happiness— the same happiness she wanted for all three of her sons.
“I had some paperwork I had to finish up. But now I’m yours for the day,” he said, a pleased smile on his face.
“That’s wonderful.”
“Then why do you sound so miserable?” He turned toward her, taking her hand in his.
She shook her head. “Not miserable. Just a bit worried about Rick and Kendall.”
He let out a sigh. “I understand. That display the other night was completely inappropriate. Is Rick any closer to finding out who switched pictures?”
Out of respect for her middle son and his hurt over her actions, Raina had tried hard not to meddle more or ask him too many questions. But this one she did know the answer to. “He has a hunch it was Lisa Burton but he can’t prove anything.”
“Lisa?” Eric’s eyes opened wide. “Now that’s a shock. I’ll assume jealousy was the motive but I can’t believe she’d go to such extremes to find information on Kendall’s past. She had to have dug deep or how else would she have found something to embarrass poor Kendall with?”
“Well, she may not have had to dig too deeply. Apparently Lisa’s got a kinky fetish not many people know about.”
“Then how do you know?” Eric asked.
Raina chuckled. “I overhear things. Rick’s not the only one drawing the same conclusion about Lisa. It seems Mildred in the post office got tipped off immediately since she’s been putting those
smutty
lingerie catalogues in Lisa’s mail for years. Those are Mildred’s words, you understand.”
“I certainly do. You’re searching for information to redeem yourself with Rick.” He shook his head, clucking his tongue at the same time. “Raina, Raina. When are you going to take my advice and get more involved in your own life than in your sons’?”
She sighed. “Not this again. You know good and well I read to kids at the hospital children’s ward once a week, I exercise when I’m not in fear of being caught, and I see you whenever you aren’t working. My life’s very full and rewarding.” Very rewarding indeed, she thought, staring into his dark eyes.
“Is it now? Then how about making it even richer?” He reached over to the lamp table beside the sofa and picked up a small box she hadn’t noticed earlier.
Coming up on sixty in a few years, she’d been around and Raina had a hunch she knew exactly what kind of jewelry sat in that box. As her pulse rate tripled, she thanked God she didn’t really have a heart condition or she’d find herself prostrate on the floor right now. As he held out the box, she accepted it with shaking hands.
“It’s different when the surprise is on you, isn’t it?” he murmured.
She met his amused gaze. “I’m not sure what to say.” “That’s a first,” he said wryly. “Then don’t speak. Just open it.”
The smooth material glided against her skin as she lifted the box top and revealed a round sapphire blue ring that sparkled in a traditional platinum-looking setting. “It’s . . . it’s spectacular.” She blinked back tears, knowing she didn’t deserve anything so beautiful or precious.
“I thought since this is the second time for us both we could dispense with the expected and go with the more personal touch. The sapphire reminds me of your blue eyes,” he said, his voice suddenly gruff and husky. Unexpectedly he dropped to his knees. “Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
The beauty of both the ring and the gesture took her off guard and emotion swelled inside her chest making it difficult to breathe or talk.
“You’re silent.” Eric waited a beat, then took her hand, anxiety obvious in his eyes. “Can I take that as a stunned yes?”
Somehow, she managed a shaky nod. “Yes. Yes.” Before she could act on her feelings and throw her arms around him in a hug, the doorbell rang, interrupting the moment.
He sat back on his heels. “Timing,” he muttered. “That must be my kids.”
“We can’t tell them just yet.” She held the box reverently in her hands, staring at the ring that represented the start of a whole new life. A happy life as a couple, the wife of a man she loved.
“Not until we tell our children together. We could plan a dinner, perhaps.”
Warmth suffused her at the notion. “Oh, a family dinner. I could cook and have everyone over . . .” After Chase found out about her perfect health. “But I need some time. Until Rick and Chase get themselves settled first. Please, Eric. I need my boys happy before I can completely be the same.”
The doorbell rang once more.
“Hang on,” Eric called. “We’ll be right there.”
He glanced at her and narrowed his gaze. “I’ll tell you what? I’ll wait until Rick and Kendall have gotten themselves settled one way or another. Good or bad. And then, regardless, we’re announcing this.”
She’d known she’d have to bargain him down and was grateful he understood her need to wait at all. But he also understood the compulsion to assure herself her boys weren’t depriving themselves of the best things in life.
Grandchildren, she assumed, would come soon after. She hoped. She treated him to a beaming smile. “I love you for accepting me.”
He brushed a soft, endearing kiss over her lips and her stomach fluttered with a combination of newness and familiarity at the same time, then sat back and smiled. “Accepting is the least I can do since you’ll become familiar with my faults in good time.” He laughed, his smile wide and pleased. “Besides, I do love you, Raina.”
She sighed, her heart full with more happiness than any one person had a right to in this lifetime. And she’d found it twice. “I love you too. Now let your daughter and her family off the front porch.”
He rose from his knees, grimacing.
“Don’t worry, darling. I’ll keep you young.”
He chuckled, then snatched the velvet box out of her hands. “And I’ll keep this until you’re ready to divulge our little secret.” He slipped it into his pocket. “Added incentive for you to up the time frame.” He winked and strode for the door.
“I don’t even know if it fits,” she thought aloud and allowed herself a moment to pout. But she knew she’d given him no choice. Having seen the ring and the love in Eric’s eyes, she wanted so badly to wear it and let the world know she was fortunate enough to have this man love her.
A tremor of awareness rippled through her along with an idea. He wanted her to up the time frame and she would. By pushing Rick and Kendall in the right direction.
Kendall ripped the real estate broker’s card in shreds and let the tiny pieces cascade into the trash. She wasn’t moving, wasn’t leaving Yorkshire Falls, wasn’t going to run. Arizona would just be running away and her future was here. For the first time in her life she was facing her fears and reaching for her unspoken dreams. And though the idea scared her to death, she’d never been more sure of any decision.
Her cell phone rang, interrupting her thoughts. First thing to cement her status as a resident, she’d get herself a permanent phone line and a real telephone, she decided as she flipped open her tiny cell phone. “Hello?”
“Hi, Kendall. It’s Raina. I don’t have long to talk, so just listen.”
Kendall chuckled. She loved Rick’s mother and her unobtrusive way of handling things. “Is everything okay?” Kendall asked.
“It’s not like me to meddle,” Raina said, then quickly retracted. “Okay, it is like me to meddle, so forgive me for doing it again. Even if you’re leaving town, I have some information I think you’ll want to hear.”
Kendall drew a deep breath. “Raina, I’m not selling Aunt Crystal’s house.”
Only Rick didn’t know that yet and neither did her sister. She hadn’t seen Hannah, who’d opted to sleep at Jeannie’s instead of being in Kendall’s company. And she hadn’t yet faced Rick. She had no way of knowing how badly she’d hurt him. She’d taken a man who’d been betrayed, one who’d reached out to her anyway, and trampled on his heart.
Kendall shook her head. She didn’t deserve his forgiveness or his love, though she desired both. But even if Rick rejected her, Yorkshire Falls was her home and had been since Aunt Crystal had taken her in. Too bad she’d taken so long to acknowledge the truth. She might have saved everyone a lot of grief.