His personal hopes plummeted and common sense took over. This was Kendall and she didn’t want to stay in town or with him. She never had. To her credit, she’d been honest about her intentions from the first. If he had anyone to blame for falling into a deluded trap, it was himself.
After all, he’d done it once before, with Jillian. “Your sister’s here.” He covered the receiver and gestured for Hannah to come closer. “In case she wants to talk to you,” he whispered.
“I have nothing to say to her,” Hannah said, her lips set in what he figured was a permanent pout.
“I heard that,” Kendall said, obvious disappointment and hurt in her voice.
And it was the hurt that got to him. Considering the woman was breaking his heart, he shouldn’t care. But he did. Too much.
“Can you get her to meet me at Norman’s?” Kendall asked, keeping things between herself and Rick strictly business. As if they’d never made love, as if he’d never declared his.
He swallowed hard. “Sure thing.”
“Thanks. I’ll see you both in a few minutes.” She hung up, dismissing him as if he meant nothing to her.
Get used to it, buddy.
Rick turned to Hannah. “We need to meet your sister at Norman’s.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “I’m not hungry.”
He rolled his eyes. “Then don’t eat. Besides, you were going there anyway. I’m sure Kendall just wants to talk, so for your own sake, try meeting her halfway.” He braced his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye. “I know it isn’t easy and I know you’re not happy. But this is your life and only you can make it better.”
“Geez you are so full of it.”
He cocked an eyebrow, knowing he could only allow her big mouth to go so far. “Excuse me?”
“So full of wisdom, Officer Chandler.”
She grinned and in her beautiful smile he caught a glimpse of her sister. Hannah would be a knockout one day soon. She was well on her way. He only hoped she had more confidence in the world around her than Kendall did.
“Full of wisdom.” He shook his head and despite the screwed-up mess of his life, Rick laughed. “I see. In that case, you’re pretty full of it yourself. Now give me a minute to change and I’ll meet you downstairs.”
Hannah gave him a smart salute, turned around, and headed down the stairs. Rick would do the same. He’d meet up with Hannah at Norman’s, meet up with Kendall, pretend he was fine with her choices, then get the hell out.
He’d already scrapped his prior plan. No way would he tell Kendall he loved her one more time. He’d told her once. He’d shown her in many ways. Why set himself up to be trampled on again?
He might love Kendall but it was time he cared for himself more. Time to start rebuilding the walls around
his
heart.
If not for her sister, Kendall wouldn’t have willingly walked into Norman’s the day after her slide show unveiling. She wouldn’t have willingly called Rick. But she’d known better than to search Hannah out in person or ask her to come home until they’d talked. Hannah was hurt and angry.
The last time she’d acted on those emotions she’d taken Kendall’s car. This time around Kendall hoped to circumvent a major catastrophe. And she hoped to avoid a huge scene by meeting her sister in a public place.
By the time Kendall had parked and walked inside, Hannah and Rick had already taken a table in the back. Drawing a deep breath, Kendall held her head high as she passed the tables of people, heard the whispers again, and noticed the pointing. She wasn’t imagining being the center of attention, she knew, but she didn’t have time to worry about it now.
Whereas her sister wouldn’t meet her gaze, Rick did. Those gorgeous eyes stared into hers. From a quick glance, he looked as if he hadn’t slept well. Razor stubble covered his face and dark circles swept beneath his eyes. He looked as awful as she felt and she hated being the cause.
“Hi.” She forced a smile.
He didn’t return the gesture. “Hi, yourself.”
Kendall didn’t know what to say to him and apparently the feeling was mutual because silence descended, making her stomach cramp and her nerve endings tingle. Without warning, Hannah rose from her seat, pushing her chair back with a screech, making a huge amount of noise, and breaking the charged, silent connection between Kendall and Rick.
Without a word, Hannah started to walk away from the table.
“Where are you going?” Kendall asked.
“Bathroom. You two make me gag.” Then she glanced at Rick. And winked.
Kendall sighed. The little traitor was leaving on purpose, to give Kendall and Rick time alone. Before she could stop her, Hannah stalked toward the back hall.
“I didn’t put her up to that.” Rick leaned back in his seat.
“I didn’t think you had.” Since Kendall knew she’d shut him out of her life last night, he wouldn’t orchestrate time alone with her now.
Rick’s eyes had twinkled with laughter at her sister’s antics but when he focused on Kendall, his expression turned blank. He’d drawn a shutter over his emotions and closed her out. Though she deserved the reciprocal wall he’d erected, she hated the strain between them, hated more that she’d forced him to put distance between them. She simply didn’t know how to handle things now.
He stretched an arm over the back of his seat in a casual, masculine gesture that flexed the muscles in his forearms and pulled his T-shirt tight across his broad chest. “Hannah tells me you’re selling the house and leaving town.” His voice held not a hint of emotion or caring.
After the intimacy they’d shared, a virtual stranger sat across from her. She hated that too and a huge lump formed in her throat and remained.
This is what you
wanted, Kendall,
she reminded herself.
No ties, no strings, no attachments. Just the freedom to pack up and move at will. No one close enough to leave you behind or push you away.
No one who held the power to hurt her at all.
Exactly the life she’d always chosen and the one she’d opted for again since last night. But if she’d gone back to a lifestyle she preferred, then why did she feel so god-awful now? Kendall had a hunch and the answer scared her so much that she refused to deal with the strangling emotions hovering just out of reach.
Focus on the mundane, she told herself. “I haven’t listed it yet but Tina Roberts called and she thinks she can get a nice amount of money for the house and property. Less because of the stipulation I insisted on but a good enough amount for Hannah and me to start over. Somewhere.” Her own thoughts and words threatened to choke her and she had to forcibly swallow over the lump in her throat before continuing. “Arizona’s probably where we’ll head next.”
He nodded and clenched his jaw tight, obviously unwilling to give her the satisfaction of letting her see an emotional reaction to her words. “What stipulation?” he asked instead.
“Pearl and Eldin get to move to the guest house and live there rent-free. As long as they maintain the place, I’m hoping someone will agree. I can’t displace them.” She couldn’t imagine the elderly couple who lived in sin residing anywhere but Aunt Crystal’s house.
“Did you tell them yet?”
She shook her head. Another thing she couldn’t bring herself to face. But no matter her own feelings, she owed Rick an explanation for her sudden remote behavior. He’d been so good to her and her sister, and he’d suffered much in the past. She didn’t want him to think he’d done anything or was the cause of her inability to stay around. “Rick, listen. I just want you to know—”
“Don’t.” His eyes flashed angry sparks, hurt and betrayal evident in his stare and his taut expression. “Don’t apologize or tell me how much you care.”
“Even if I do?” She rubbed her hands against her jeans. He shrugged. “What good does it do me? Or you for that matter? Besides, you told me up front you wouldn’t stay. I just thought this town and its people would grow on you. That I would grow on you.”
She blinked back tears. “You did.”
His stern expression didn’t falter. “So what? Your words don’t change a damn thing. You’re unable to commit, unwilling to face your fears.” Without warning he rose from his seat, towering over her, a giant in both stature and strength of emotion. “And you know what?”
“What?” she whispered.
“I’m disappointed in you.”
The dim light in his eyes backed up his harsh words and she flinched. Kendall had expected many emotions from Rick, anger being the primary one. She hadn’t anticipated his intense disappointment nor could she believe how small and defeated she felt, having let him down.
Every experience she’d had since coming to this small town had been foreign and new. Frightening for someone who’d never known stability or family. How dare Rick condemn her for it? “Well, I’m so sorry I’m a disappointment, Officer Chandler. But like you said, it’s not like I wasn’t up front with you from day one.”
“And you backed up your words with actions. Congratulations.” He clapped his hands in a slow round of applause. “You came here running from a situation in New York, and you’ll leave here the same way. Running from me.” His palm came to rest on the tabletop as he leaned in closer. “But remember something, Kendall. You can’t run from yourself or your own feelings. Someday they’re bound to catch up with you. Excuse me if I don’t wait around for that time to come.”
He straightened his shoulders and met her gaze with a lingering look. “Sorry to sound like a cliché but we could have had it all.” He shook his head, turned, and walked away.
Not once during his exit from the restaurant did he look back. But his words remained long after he was gone, reverberating inside her head until it pounded.
“Oh, God.” She lay her forehead against her hands. “You blew it, didn’t you?” Hannah’s verbal condemnation came on the heels of Rick’s abrupt departure.
Kendall lifted her bleary gaze and glanced around before dealing with her sister. Every surrounding table was filled with eavesdroppers eager to catch the gist of Kendall’s next confrontation. Heck, she wondered if they weren’t taking notes.
Since this day just seemed to get better and better, she might as well face Hannah now, she thought, meeting her sister’s expectant gaze.
“Well? Did you blow it with Rick or not?”
“I suppose it depends on your definition of blowing it.”
Hannah had obviously reapplied shocking pink lipstick while in the ladies’ room and her full, colored lips turned downward in a frown. “I left you alone with him. All you had to do was say you’d stay. Say you loved him. Say anything but you didn’t, did you? And now he’s gone,” she said, her voice rising along with her hysteria.
“Hannah, please.” Kendall clenched her fists and fought down the rising tide of embarrassment. Kendall had come to care what these good people thought. “Can you lower your voice?”
“Why?” Hannah practically shouted. “Everyone’s already watching you. Which reminds me. I heard someone in the bathroom say something about you and that picture last night. What picture?” She barely paused for breath. “What’d I miss? And how bad did you screw things up with Rick?”
Kendall groaned and rested her head in her hands, massaging her aching temples. She was dizzy and nausea rose quickly.
“Kendall?” Hannah asked, more quietly this time. “Hmm?” She barely raised her gaze as she answered. Her head hurt, she was emotionally spent yet Hannah had an agenda that wouldn’t be deterred.
“Did I mention I stuffed Norman’s toilet and it’s overflowing?”
“Oh, God.” That got Kendall’s adrenaline flowing again and she jumped up and flagged Izzy down.
“Just a second,” the older woman called.
“But . . .” Kendall tried to catch her but Izzy disappeared into the kitchen before returning with food on her tray and heading in the opposite direction.
“It wasn’t my fault. I mean it was an accident, I swear,” Hannah continued at full speed.
“An accident? This from the girl who stuffed the toilet in the teachers’ lounge at Vermont Acres?”
Her sister had the good grace to blush before going on with her rambling explanation. “The garbage was full and the paper towels from washing my hands kept falling onto the floor.” She gestured wildly with her hands. “And I wouldn’t normally care, ya know? But you’re always saying to be polite and clean up after myself, so I tried to flush them down the toilet instead. See? An accident.” She shrugged too innocently in Kendall’s opinion.
“Isabelle!” Norman’s voice bellowed from the back hall. “Damn toilet’s overflowing,” the owner of the restaurant yelled in an extremely pissed-off tone.
Kendall lowered herself back into her seat. She tried unsuccessfully to blink back tears and when that didn’t work, she lay her head back in her hands so she could alternately cry and laugh hysterically.
Her life had become a complete and utter mess. And based on Hannah’s acting out, her inquisitive questions, and push for Kendall’s reconciliation with Rick, things weren’t about to get easier anytime soon.
K
endall dragged herself home after the episode at Norman’s. She’d let Hannah leave with Jeannie and her parents while Kendall had stayed until the plumber arrived and she’d been successful on insisting he send her the bill. She walked up the front stoop, pausing when the obvious aroma of chocolate assaulted her senses, giving her a needed boost of energy.
She knelt down in front of the foil-covered plate on the stoop and lifted the white note taped to the top, reading aloud. “Kendall Dear. Your favorite comfort food at a time you need comfort badly. It’s the least family can do. Ignore the gossips and they’ll get bored quickly. Hugs and kisses, Pearl and Eldin.”
It’s the least family can do.
“Family.”
The word seemed to come up again and again, mocking her. Until her move here, Kendall had considered herself more a loner than someone with connections, especially family connections. She had kept everyone on the periphery of her life, even Hannah. And they’d both paid for that lapse, Kendall thought sadly.
Yet here were Pearl and Eldin, whom she’d just met, worried about her feelings and taking her into their life because they cared. Just like Raina Chandler, like Charlotte and Roman, Beth . . . the list of people who cared for Kendall seemed to go on and on. Yet wasn’t she equally concerned about them?