The Rancher's Family Wish (11 page)

He put away the questions to entertain his guests, but when they’d all left and he was finally alone, he sat down on a bench to think about Trent and Rod. Had Tige sent his kids with that story? Tanner didn’t think so but—

“Davy and Beth fell asleep.” Sophie’s glance around the empty patio told him she was waiting for that talk he’d promised. He didn’t want to tell her anything about his ugly past, but his conscience demanded Sophie know the risk her kids might be taking if things escalated with Tige.

Are you going to tell her everything about your past? Including the child you abandoned? Because if you don’t, you know that someday Tige will.

He ignored the voice in his head.

“Let’s sit down.”

“Okay.” Sophie shivered slightly, prompting his realization that the night air had cooled.

Tanner added a couple of logs to the fire still burning in the fire pit to ensure she’d be warm enough. “First of all, thank you for making this birthday so special. I appreciate all the trouble you and the kids went to.”

“It was our pleasure.” Sophie sat with her beautiful face lit by the dancing flames.

“About those boys. Trent and Rod are the sons of a man I knew as Tige from my days of living on the streets.” Tanner wanted to hurry through the past and avoid long-buried thoughts that still brought pain. “I happened to meet Tige the other day when I went to the grocery store.”

“Happened to meet?” Her brown eyes narrowed. “That’s odd, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” He grimaced. “I don’t believe in coincidences, either. Maybe word is getting out about Wranglers and he recognized my name. I don’t know.” He kept going, anxious to get it said. “He’s not a nice man, Sophie. Neither is his wife, Lulu. For as long as I’ve known Tige he’s been into drugs, selling and using, friendly when he’s high, mean and nasty when he’s not. Anyway in the store that day I noticed his kids seemed ill at ease and I felt sorry for them. I told them to look me up if they ever needed anything. I guess that’s why they showed up today.”

“Because they were hungry.” Sophie sat silently watching him, her face impassive. Finally, her voice very soft, she asked, “Why are you telling me this, Tanner?”

“That day I met him—Tige hit me up for some money.” He exhaled, hoping, praying she wouldn’t grab her kids and run when he explained. “The morning after I saw him I found a fire blazing in one of the old buildings Moses has been restoring. Understand that there was no electricity, nothing in there that could have caused a fire. Yet it burned hot and fast.” He could see she didn’t understand his inference. “The police insist it is arson but they found no clues as to who lit it.”

“You think Tige did it.” Awareness dawned, then she frowned. “But why?”

“As a kind of message that he’s watching me. At least that’s how Tige used to operate.” Tanner couldn’t shake the black mantle of dread. “He used to pass out what he called ‘warnings,’ maybe a beating, maybe something else equally nasty, to let you know that he was always watching.”

“And if you didn’t do what he wanted?” Sophie whispered, her pupils wide.

“His usual modus operandi was violence to make sure you did.” Now came the hard part. “His sons are scared.” He condensed what the boys had told him. “Apparently Tige and Lulu got high after I saw them. Those boys hadn’t eaten for ages. They know they’ll get in trouble if Tige finds out they came here, but they had nowhere else to go.”

Tanner noticed Sophie didn’t ask him about Children’s Services or any other agency. Was that because she trusted him to do the right thing? But Sophie didn’t trust.

“So now you’re worried about us,” she guessed. He nodded, sobered by concern. “What will Tige do if he finds out you interfered with his kids?”

“Tige only goes after someone if there’s a profit for him.” Tanner saw her absorb that. Her eyes expanded in understanding.

“You mean—he’ll ask you for money when he learns you own the ranch?”

“Yes.” Tanner exhaled. He hated saying this, hated distancing himself from this woman he admired. But the thought of Sophie, Davy or Beth being hurt because of him was intolerable. “I don’t know if you and the kids should come to Wranglers anymore.”

“We have to!” She stared at him. “Unless you have someone else in mind to cater the camp next week? And the Easter morning sunrise ride?”

“No, but—”

“It’s my job, Tanner, and I don’t quit on a job. Ever.” She leaned forward, covered his hand with hers and squeezed. “Isn’t the whole purpose of Wranglers Ranch to minister to needy kids?”

“Yes.” Fear churned in his gut, eating away his resolve. He had to protect her. “But what if—”

“You’re always after me for not trusting.” Sophie’s beautiful smile curved her lips. “This time it’s you who isn’t trusting, Tanner. Think about those two boys. They know Tucson’s streets because they grew up on them, right?”

Tanner nodded though he didn’t get where she was headed.

“You’re trying to help street kids. Maybe this is God’s way of easing your foot in the door for this ministry.” Sophie tilted her head to one side, thinking it through as she spoke. “Maybe Trent and Rod are the first steps in your outreach program for Tucson’s street kids. Possible?”

What a woman! Not only did she chide him for his doubts, she saw past the immediate problems to the possibilities. How could he keep away from her? He couldn’t.

Tanner leaned forward and brought his lips to hers. The kiss began lightly but quickly took on its own life, rapidly escalating into something more meaningful as Sophie wrapped her arms around his neck and tilted toward him. She kissed him back in a way that made Tanner certain she must have some kind of fond feeling for him.

A burst of yearning flared inside him. This woman felt so precious in his arms, like a wonderful gift he could never deserve. Tanner wished for more than a simple kiss but he didn’t want to ruin the friendship she’d trusted him with. He was not going to repay this giving, caring woman by deepening the embrace, by asking for more than she could give. Sophie didn’t want a personal relationship. She’d told him that. He’d respect her wishes no matter how much he hated letting her go. Besides, he didn’t deserve Sophie.

Carefully Tanner eased away from her.

“What was that for?” Sophie whispered. She looked as shaken as he felt.

“Just—because.” He pushed her soft brown hair off her face. “Because you’re an amazing woman with amazing vision and amazing talents.”

“Tanner, I cook. Hardly amazing,” she scoffed.

“You don’t just cook, Sophie. When you offer food, you meet a need by seeing into a person, past the barriers they put up to the hurting place inside them that aches to have someone care.” He was saying too much and he knew it, but Tanner couldn’t stop. “You can’t pretend that you don’t go over each menu for Wranglers very carefully, making sure it fits the ranch and whatever occasion you’re serving. That detail and caring is evident in everything you do, from loving Davy and Beth to maintaining a house you don’t own.”

Afraid he’d said too much and given away how deeply he admired her, Tanner clamped his lips together and visually dared her to deny it.

“Thank you.” To his surprise Sophie’s eyes welled with tears. She squeezed his hand before letting go. “Thank you for saying that.”

“It’s the truth. You’re a very special lady, Sophie Armstrong.” Her gaze met his and somehow got tangled. For a brief moment, a yawning space in time, Tanner felt like he could see into the heart of the woman behind that brown-eyed gaze, who took on the world without complaint.

Then her lids dropped and hid her thoughts.

“I wish you’d tell me more about your past, Tanner.” Her eyes narrowed and her voice dropped to a wistful tone. “If I knew more about your time on the street, maybe I could better understand why you’re so worried about this Tige and what he might do.”

“I don’t like to remember that time.” Tanner ripped his gaze from hers, afraid she’d see how much he feared her knowing the whole truth about his past. He blinked when her fingertips brushed his cheek.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to bring back any bad memories for you,” Sophie whispered. “I just want to help you.”

“You’ve already helped me a lot.” He felt like a traitor. Was it lying if you kept a secret like his?
Yes!
his brain yelled. “One day I will tell you all about Tige and my past,” he promised.
And then she’ll walk away from you.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Sophie promised, though questions remained in her dark eyes.

How Tanner wished he could be totally honest with her. But he kept hoping that with time she’d come to know him better, trust that he wasn’t the total jerk his decision back then seemed to make him; that if Sophie knew who he was in his heart she’d be willing to forgive him his youthful mistake. Maybe.

“But what are you going to do now? Because I’m not about to walk away from my commitment to help you and Wranglers Ranch,” Sophie said in a firm voice. “I believe that through you, Tanner, this place is going to reach a lot of kids. There’s no way we can let one messed-up drug addict stop God’s work.”

We.
Tanner smiled. He liked knowing Sophie was on his side. Liked it a lot. But Tige—what was he supposed to do about Tige?
Lord?

“I will hire a security firm tomorrow.” He frowned as he studied her. “But I’m not sure that’s enough. I can’t guarantee your kids’ safety when they’re here, Sophie.”

To his astonishment she smiled.

“What’s so funny?”

“Not too long ago, I’d have insisted I was perfectly capable of caring for my kids,” she told him with a chuckle. “Or I’d have hightailed it out of here and shuttered them up at home regardless of how they protested.”

“You’re not going to do that?” He knew before he asked that she wasn’t. “Why not?”

“A certain man recently rebuked me about my faith, or rather my lack of it.” Sophie chuckled at his sheepish look. “I’m glad you did. Your words made me think about my claim to be a Christian. I was really convicted when I read a verse in First John that says, ‘If we are afraid, it is for fear of what He might do to us and shows that we are not fully convinced that He really loves us.’ I’ve been living in fear, Tanner.”

“And now you’re not?” His brows drew together.

“Oh, I’m still afraid the sky will fall on me,” Sophie joked, but the shadows in her brown eyes told him it was true. “I haven’t gotten rid of that monkey on my back so easily. But lately I’m realizing how my lack of faith in God hurts me. And my kids. So I’ve been trying to work out my faith, or rather to let God work it out, by relinquishing my control.”

“How’s that going?” He didn’t have to ask. Tanner could see by the look on beautiful Sophie’s face that she would far rather cling to the reins of running her own life. His heart empathized at the difficult lesson of true faith in God that she was learning.

“It’s not easy,” she said in a low voice.

“Not supposed to be, honey. Trust is a process, one step at a time.” He couldn’t stop staring, appreciating the way she thrust out her chin, determined to trust no matter how much she hated it. “It gets easier, Sophie,” he promised.

“I hope so.” This time she didn’t look away, didn’t immediately end that sensitive current that zipped back and forth between them. Instead she studied him with an almost tender scrutiny. “Do you realize that you conducted your first real outreach tonight, Tanner? And you didn’t even have to leave the ranch.”

He blinked, stunned to realize that it was true. He’d invited Tige’s kids to come without even thinking. Tonight he’d talked to them as a friend, not as the preacher he’d figured he was supposed to be. “It seemed to come naturally,” he muttered, awed by the insight.

“That seems like the best way.” Sophie grinned at him. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” He savored the moment, delighted to have her there to share it. But the reality of the situation returned like a wet blanket. “But what about Tige?”

“What about him?” Sophie straightened her shoulders and met his look with a stern one of her own. “He’s nothing to me. We’ve never met. Why should he care about me or my family?”

“I don’t know.” Troubled, Tanner frowned. “Tige was never exactly rational...”

“Listen.” Sophie wrapped her fingers around his arm and squeezed, catching and holding his attention. “In learning to trust I’ve begun to understand that I have to live in the now or I’ll drive myself crazy with what-ifs. Let’s just keep working toward Burt’s goal and trust God to work things out. Let’s ‘fan into flame the gift that is within you.’”

“I still don’t know what that is,” he complained.

“You’ll figure it out.” She smiled a Mona Lisa smile. “I think I have.”

“Oh.” He hoped she’d tell him what his gift was but she remained silent, though her eyes glowed with some inner secret. “Thank you, Sophie,” he murmured, returning the pressure of her fingers against his.

“For what?” She tilted her head to one side.

“Everything. The party. Making every guest feel welcome. Making me feel special. For helping me make Burt’s dream come true. For being you.” Without even thinking he leaned forward and kissed her again. It felt so right to have Sophie here at the ranch, by his side, being his partner.

She wouldn’t be here if she knew why you’re so afraid of Tige, especially of what he could tell her. Sophie wouldn’t stay if she knew you walked away from your child and never looked back.

Brought back to reality by that warning voice, Tanner helped Sophie pack up the kids while resolve filled his head. Along with hiring security for the ranch he would hire a private detective to find his child. Wranglers Ranch and the message of God’s love was too important to be sidetracked by a man from his past. If he told her, Tanner was certain Sophie would agree.

The voice in his head laughed at him for believing Sophie would ever condone his past actions. If she knew what he’d done, she’d probably hate Tanner for abandoning his child.

Please don’t let Sophie hate me.

Chapter Nine

“I
don’t like the look on your face.” Sophie tamped down the frisson of excitement that always fluttered across her skin whenever she was near Tanner. “Can you fix my oven or not?”

“Probably not,” he muttered in disgust as he squeezed out from behind the appliance. “We’ll find out when you turn on the breaker.”

She did that, then returned to find him scowling. “Nothing?”

“Dead as a doornail. Sophie, the thing is older than time. You need a new one. Can’t the person you rent from see that?” Obviously frustrated, Tanner gathered up his tools. “Why didn’t you use the stove at the ranch?”

“I did use it for your Easter sunrise ride this morning,” Sophie reminded him, wondering why she couldn’t rid herself of this feeling that Tanner wasn’t telling her something about his past. She’d felt it again earlier when she’d asked him if he’d heard from Tige and he’d brushed her off.

“You used our kitchen to great success.” Tanner patted his stomach, smile back in place. “Your cooking was so delicious that I’ve decided we’ll have a sunrise service at Wranglers every Easter.” He frowned. “So why didn’t you take these cinnamon rolls there?”

“Because they were still rising while I was at Wranglers. Besides, Mrs. Baggle’s place is only a few blocks away from here. It seemed silly to haul everything out to Wranglers and then back to my place. Also, how was I to know this thing would cease working today?” She glared at the old stove. “I don’t have time to take the rolls to the ranch now. Mrs. Baggle’s Easter brunch is going to be ruined and that’s all she asked in return for teaching Beth.”

“Mom, Mrs. Parker’s home.” Davy burst through the door, basketball clutched under one arm. “She’s got a walker.”

“A man is trying to help her up the stairs,” Beth added.

“Edna.” Sophie grinned and exhaled her relief. “Of course. Thank You, Lord.” She closed her eyes, whispered a prayer of thanks and picked up the phone. After speaking to her elderly neighbor for a few minutes she wished her a happy Easter, then hung up. “Tanner, will you help me carry these pans next door?”

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” His confused look made her giggle. But the cowboy’s face rapidly cleared as he followed her across the backyard to her neighbor’s house. “You’re going to use her oven,” he deduced.

“Yes, I am. Edna’s homecoming is an answer to prayer.” Sophie was surprised by how frequently it seemed God had answered her prayers lately. This Easter held more promise than she’d ever experienced. Was that because she’d been spending more time studying her Bible? Or because of Tanner?

Though Edna had just been released from full-time care and was still slightly pale, she seemed very mobile and utterly delighted to see them. Actually she seemed most excited to meet Tanner and clung to the cowboy’s hand as she introduced her son, Ronald.

“He’s a good son but he’s like his father. Not handy at all,” she complained. “I need a ramp to get in the door and Ronald doesn’t know how to make one. Do you?”

“Uh, sure.” Tanner handed the pan of rolls to Sophie and left to fetch his tools, Ronald following.

“Wow! Your Tanner’s a hunk,” Edna squealed when the door creaked closed behind them. “And so big and strong. It’s good to have a man around, isn’t it, dear? Didn’t I tell you that?”

“Tanner’s a good friend. I’ve been doing a lot of catering at his ranch,” Sophie explained, embarrassed by her neighbor’s garrulous appreciation of the cowboy. She hugged Edna. “You look good, Edna.”

“I feel very well. It got much easier once I put my heart into doing the exercises. I was stubborn about obeying the physiotherapist.” She twittered with laughter, then urged Davy and Beth to take a treat from the jar that seemed never to empty. “My, how you children have grown. Now, tell me about your mother’s boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Davy frowned at Beth, then at Sophie.

“Tanner’s not—” But she was drowned out by Beth, who was eager to share all she knew about the man who now seemed a permanent part of their lives.

But Tanner wasn’t part of their lives. And Sophie couldn’t let herself forget that, no matter how much she wished for more than friendship. She’d barely begun to trust God. Trusting a man was far more difficult, even if he was a man for whom she had increasingly strong feelings.

She’d tell Edna that later. For now she dashed between her neighbor’s kitchen and her own, checking the food she’d prepared and sharing a smile with Tanner as he hammered and sawed under Ronald’s gaze to form the ramp that would assist Edna.

Affection bubbled up inside Sophie. How many men would spend their Easter Sundays building a ramp for an old woman they didn’t even know? Edna was right. Tanner
was
a hunk. And he was handy as well as very good-looking. He was also a good kisser.

She told herself to stop hoping that would happen again.

“It’s time for me to deliver this food,” she announced when the rolls were golden brown and oozing with sticky glaze.

“Leave the kids here with me,” Tanner said. “They can help finish the ramp while you make your delivery.” When she didn’t answer he frowned. “Okay, Sophie?”

“Yes,” she murmured, touched by his generosity. What would she do without Tanner’s unstinting help?

It didn’t take long to reach Mrs. Baggle’s. There were eight older women waiting and they twittered and giggled like young girls as Sophie set out the brunch she’d prepared.

“Scalloped potatoes,” Mrs. Baggle breathed. “I haven’t had those for years. And baked ham with cherry glaze. How wonderful.”

“I hope you enjoy everything,” Sophie said as she arranged napkins. She set a covered square container in the fridge. “The dessert crepes are in here, ready whenever you are, Mrs. Baggle.” She had to smile at the other women’s eager expressions. “Now, shall I make tea?”

“Oh, no, dear. We’ll do that after we’ve eaten. Will you join us?” Mrs. Baggle nodded when Sophie declined the offer. “Of course you want to spend your Easter with Beth and Davy. And your nice boyfriend. Go now, dear. You can pick up your containers tomorrow.”

“Thank you. Happy Easter,” Sophie called as she walked out the door, neglecting to correct Mrs. Baggle about Tanner. After all, he
was
nice.

The ladies’ cheerful “Happy Easter to you, dear” made her smile.

For the first time in a long time, it truly
was
a
happy
Easter. Thanks in large part to Tanner.

I need to think of some way to thank him
, she mused on the drive home. But how? Tanner was rich. He sure didn’t need anything she could buy.

Sophie was surprised to find the big cowboy sitting on her front step with her children when she pulled up in front of her house. The kids jumped up and hurried toward her.

“Tanner says we’re going to the zoo,” Davy said, obviously excited.

“Are we?” Her heart skipped a couple of beats when Tanner winked at her.

“We are,” he affirmed. “We’re just waiting for you to change out of your work clothes.”

“Okay, then.” She eased past him, trying to erase the memory of being in his arms by focusing instead on the joy of spending an afternoon of free time with him—which did nothing for her heart rate. “I’ll pack a little lunch—” Tanner’s hand on her arm stopped her short. His touch sent a zing of warmth through her body. She couldn’t tear her gaze from his.

“No more cooking for you today, Sophie,” he said firmly. “We’ll grab something there.”

“But—” She stopped when he shook his head.

“It’s Easter, a time to celebrate the risen Lord. Let’s enjoy the day He’s made for us.” It wasn’t so much Tanner’s words as the wistful expression she saw in his green eyes that ended her argument. She had no intention of refusing. In fact, she could hardly wait to get started.

Funny how she always thought of Tanner as a loner. Was that an aura left over from his former street persona? How she wished he’d open up to her about his past. What was so terrible that he had to hide it? Drugs? Theft?

“Sophie?” His hand on her arm drew her from her introspection.

“Sorry. I’ll change and be right out.” She moved away from his touch while noting how much she liked it. Too much. “Beth, do you want to change out of your Easter dress?”

“Why?” Beth looked shocked by the suggestion. “It’s an Easter dress and this is Easter,” she said logically.

“Indeed it is. And a most lovely dress it is, too. The zoo animals will love it.” Tanner grinned at Sophie. “We’re waiting on you.”

They didn’t wait long. Sophie took mere seconds to change into her favorite sundress, loosen her hair from the topknot she favored for work and spritz on a few drops of her favorite scent.

For Tanner?

She ignored that mocking voice in her head and joined the others, inwardly glowing at his approving smile. She accepted his helping hand into his truck and made sure her kids were belted in before fastening her own. On the drive to Reid Park Zoo, Davy and Beth chatted with Tanner about Pastor Jeff’s short sermon that they heard this morning at Wranglers’ sunrise service. As Sophie listened to Tanner’s answers to their questions, she was struck by the solid faith of the cowboy’s answers.

“See, the thing is, Davy, that we are the center of God’s plan.” Tanner caught her scrutiny and smiled at her before he continued. “He dreamed up the idea of us and made us His children, part of His family, just because He wants to love us.”

“Even if we do bad things?” her son wondered.

“Even if,” Tanner affirmed.

“But God doesn’t like us to do bad things,” Beth corrected in a grave tone.

“Nope. You’re right.” Stopped at a stop sign, Tanner reached behind Sophie and tugged Beth’s ponytail with a smile. “He doesn’t like that. But it doesn’t stop Him from loving us. No matter what we do He loves us because we’re His kids.”

“Sometimes I don’t feel like God hears me when I pray to Him.” Sophie saw Davy shoot her a quick glance as if he wasn’t sure he should have admitted that. If he only knew how often his mother felt the same!

“We all have times like that.” Tanner’s tone grew pensive.

“Even you?” Davy asked in an awed voice.

“Especially me,” Tanner said. “That’s when I remind myself that nothing can separate us from God’s love. Nothing.”

“Does it say that in the Bible?” Beth asked. Sophie hid her smile at her daughter’s fastidious insistence on knowing biblical references.

“It does. I’ll show you later,” Tanner promised. “It says something else, too. It says in Deuteronomy that the Lord our God is faithful and will keep His agreement of love for a thousand lifetimes for people who love Him and obey His commands.”

“A thousand lifetimes is a long time,” Davy murmured thoughtfully.

“Our God makes big promises. And He keeps them,” Tanner said.

The kids seemed satisfied with that answer and so was Sophie, though when she got the chance she was going to ask Tanner some questions about her own Bible study. His faith seemed so much more developed than hers.

Rubbing shoulders with Tanner, she wandered through the zoo beside him as the kids dashed ahead. Then they’d run back to be sure the adults hadn’t missed anything. It was a warm afternoon filled with fun and relaxation, and Sophie savored the closeness she felt with Tanner.

“Time for lemonade?” At her nod he bought them each a glass of the chilly beverage and they sat at a picnic table to enjoy it. Davy and Beth kept running off only to return full of information about the next exhibit.

“They’re having so much fun. Thank you for bringing us here,” Sophie said when they were alone for a few minutes.

“They’re good kids. I enjoy being with them.” Tanner smiled at her. She would have liked to read his eyes but they were concealed behind his sunglasses. For once he’d left his Stetson in the truck. “I enjoy being with you, too,” he added in a quieter voice.

“It’s mutual,” she said, struggling not to grin at him and reveal just how much she was enjoying this afternoon. “I don’t think Burt could have picked anyone better than you to run Wranglers Ranch.”

“That’s debatable.” He shrugged, then grinned. “But I’m awfully glad he entrusted me with his dream. It’s a challenge that’s truly worthwhile.”

“I agree.” Sophie inclined her head to study him. “I noticed someone carved his verse about you into a piece of beech wood and hung it in the barn.”

“I did,” he admitted sheepishly. “I don’t want to forget the things he told me.”

“Fan into flame the gift that is within you,”
she quoted. “Do you know what that gift is yet?”

“Not a clue.” His nose wrinkled. “I don’t have any special gifts unless you count riding a horse. I can do that okay.”

“A little better than okay, I’d say. Moses showed me all those rodeo trophies you won.” Sophie liked the way he deflected compliments. In her opinion, Tanner Johns had a lot to be proud of and yet he didn’t put on airs or try to impress. He just did what needed doing. “I think you have many gifts. But you don’t think of them as gifts.”

He leaned back with a frown. “Gifts like what?”

“The way you handle Tige’s sons for one thing.” Sophie wasn’t sure he wanted her to discuss that. After all, he’d spoken about his former friend only one time and that was to warn her. She’d offered him several opportunities since but he hadn’t confided anything more, so his past remained a mystery to her.

Tige’s two boys kept reappearing at the ranch. Tanner acted as if that was perfectly natural. He never questioned them about their parents, simply treated them as if they were visitors—the same as other kids who’d recently begun to drop by. He made sure the two boys were fed, taught them how to sit on a horse and answered any questions they had. And he always invited them to come back.

“Being with Rod and Trent doesn’t take any gift.” He shrugged it off. “They’re just kids.”

“Kids in a bad situation. Lots of people would try to get them away from their parents or convince them to run away,” she began but Tanner was vehemently shaking his head.

“I would never do that without a very good reason,” he said in a harsh voice. “Families are precious.”

“See?” Sophie grinned and nudged him with her elbow while wondering why he was so adamant on the subject of families. Her questions about him grew. “That’s what I’m talking about. Everything you do is for the kids’ sake. That’s a gift.”