"My parents. We were all at their house when this first started. We thought that this would blow over, that things were going to get better. We figured that the military would sweep through and all of these things would go away. One day my mom was standing in front of the window watching the chaos of the neighbors as they ran up and down the street with the dead chasing them. The zombies don't move very fast but, they never get tired so they can chase forever. So, anyway, my mom sees our neighbor trying to run away. She was this little 80 year old lady who could barely get out of her own way. My mom opened the door to have her hide with us, not having a clue that there was a bite on the lady's leg. She was wearing dark pants so we didn't see any blood. A while later she did the fever thing and had a seizure. My mom thought she was helping when she started giving CPR to her. I was trying to convince her to just let her go when those eyes popped open and were filled with a sort of blood lust. While she was giving a rescue breath, the lady latched on to my mom's lips and tore her face off. She was screaming, I was screaming. My dad came in the room and saw what was happening. Mom was bleeding all over the place. The old lady looked up at my dad with blood dripping off her face as he was trying to get to my mom and she grabbed hold of his leg, taking a huge chunk out of him. While she was occupied trying to eat them both, being distracted by all the movement of potential food, I slipped out of the room, went to the kitchen, and located a cleaver. I buried it in that old lady's head. Heh. I never thought myself capable of doing something like that. I felt like I was a murderer. That's when my mom reanimated. I pulled the knife out of the neighbor's head and put my mom down. I was shaking like a leaf and felt like vomiting. Then my dad turned. I had never killed anyone in my life before. In that moment I felt like a monster, especially when Matt came through the door and saw what happened. I didn't have to explain anything to him, the scene told him everything. I thought that he would be mad at me but he wasn't. Matt reminded me that they were already dead, and said that I was releasing them from being trapped like that. It didn't make me feel any better, really, but now when I kill one off I try to repeat that mantra; I'm releasing them from being trapped."
Lucas kicked some gore off his shoes before continuing. "Lacey and Raine heard what had happened from the other room. They were hiding when they heard screams. I had to tell my daughter why she didn't have a grandma or grandpa any more. Raine is so quiet all the time that it didn't surprise me when she didn't say anything right off. She didn't speak for a couple days. She slept in short bursts, always waking up with a nightmare that she wouldn't talk about. She started coming around later but I don't think she had slept the whole night through until we fell in with your group. As for me? Every time I kill off one of these things I can't help but to think of them. I see my parents faces on every one of these things. I take night watch happily because I don't sleep for long either. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through."
I nodded quietly, taking in everything Lucas had said. I hadn't lost anyone I was close to in a zombie related death. My experience with zombie deaths were people I just knew. Those that I had developed a friendship with were murder victims. I couldn't fathom losing them twice.
Matt called us from the house. We worked our way back there to find out what was going on. Trent had finished the plow blade and was ready for testing. Lucas volunteered the Hummer to do the plowing. When Trent said he was ready for testing Lucas lit up. I think Lucas was just thrilled to have a distraction from the discussion we had been having.
Trent had been working hard on the project that would get us out of Scipio. The blade was made of two pieces of metal arranged at a point, resembling a cow catcher on a train. It was set to ride close to the ground. It was as wide as the semi and the idea was that it would catch the snow and push it to the side creating a path. Trent was hooking it on to the Hummer as we walked up.
"I figure it's as good time as any to run a test on this." Trent said, pride in his voice. "We can run it up this street as a test."
"Oh, good idea, hon!" I called out. "It'll make our zombie-sicle hunt easier if they get flipped out of the snow. If you leave the back door open for me I can cut them up as we drive by."
"Hey now, I hadn't thought of that." Lucas responded with a smile. "Hey Matt, want my sword to take the other side with?"
Matt took the blade. "Man, with how you baby this thing I never believed you'd let anyone even hold it, much less use it."
"Yeah, well, just make sure you don't ding the blade." Lucas cautioned, his face lined with seriousness. He took his sword very seriously. "You don't have to swing it like a bat, it's sharp enough to do the job with light pressure."
"You don't have to swing it. Wah wah wah." Matt mocked. I giggled.
Trent called out, "So are we going to do this, or are we just going to stand here?" Lucas gave one last long look at his sword and climbed into the drivers seat while Trent piled into the passenger seat. When the engine turned, I noticed that the rest of the group had come out of the house to see the first-ever test of the plow. Lucas took off down the street slowly and the plow caught the snow like a charm. Indeed it did flip a few of the dead up. Matt and I took them out quickly. We were all excited that this worked as well as it did.
Now that the plow was done all attention was turned on the house-to-barn connecting corridor. Everyone had a hammer and a pouch of nails and worked at putting the project together. When it was finally built, all that was left was to transfer the contents of that garage to Mercedes barn. We took the plow out again and cleared the road so we could drive the cache of goods back. Trent took Jody's van, Tyreese took his, and Matt brought up the rear in his SUV. It still took several trips to transfer all the goods back. When we had unloaded the last of the find into the barn we stood back, admiring our work. She was set. I turned in a slow circle looking over everything with a nagging thought that we had forgotten something.
Tom. I had forgotten all about the fact that we had stashed his body. The note that I had put up wasn't on the door anymore. Oh, crap. I did not want Mercedes finding a dead dude or his suicide note. Everyone knew about it but I still didn't want her to see it.
Trent slid up next to me silently. "We took care of it." Trent whispered. I yelped as I jumped back, startled. I hadn't heard him come up. He laughed at me. I guessed that he could tell by the way I was staring at the barn, that I had that realization.
"Damn, Trent, you scared the crap outta me!" I cried. He kept laughing.
Between fits of giggles he repeated, "We took care of it. We built a box building on the edge of the property, right against the fence. We put the note inside with him. On the top we carved in the lid his name and that he was a casualty of the end of the world. I feel bad that we can't bury him properly, but we do what we can." I agreed.
It only took two weeks to get the house all ready for Mercedes. With the help of the plow, we were able to clear the streets so that we could get to the stores and churches to wipe out the scattering of zombies that had collected in the buildings. We worked hard to make everything as safe as possible, and all that was left was one night together. Everyone chose the freeze-dried dinner packet that sounded the best to them. I found a beef and potato stew. Drew made a beeline for the spaghetti. We all ate together and told stories. When all the dinner dishes were cleared, Mercedes produced a surprise. While we were all out working on our various projects, she took over the kitchen and had made us a chocolate cake. We all cheered when she walked out carrying it. It was probably the best cake I’d ever had.
That night the kids completed the doll and bear projects together. As a special addition, each stuffed toy was given a heart by the other kids. The older kids signed their names themselves while the younger ones had help. They put their hearts into each other's creations one after the other, that way no heart would be apart from the rest. Later, when they went to bed, each kid fell asleep clutching their stuffie close to them.
Goodbyes
Morning came quickly. The weather was crisp and cloudless. With the preparation finished, it was time to say goodbye. We had done all we could to make Mercedes as comfortable as we could. I kept looking over the house, scared that we had forgotten something very important. Nothing came to mind any time I checked. The walk-way came together perfectly. The sewing room was stocked well with supplies and the cupboards were full.
I stood to the back watching everyone as they hugged Mercedes and the kids. I didn't know what to say to her. I saw Trent give her directions to Idaho in case she ever changed her mind.
While we were standing around I watched Kyle and Liam toss a baseball back and forth. Kyle over threw the ball and it rolled to a stop at Matt's feet. He picked it up and examined it. "There is a Babe Ruth signature on this ball." Matt said in awe.
"What's so special about a candy bar ball?" Abigail asked, clearly confused about the importance of this famous ball player.
"He used to play baseball a long time ago, I think." Kyle responded. "Right?" He looked at Matt for confirmation.
"Yeah, he did. Since he signed this ball it makes this super special. If you practice as much as possible with it, you'll be really good." Matt turned the ball over in his hand admiring the artifact of the past. Things like the value of a signature on a ball were long over. Playing with the ball and having some relief from the horror of our life now and being a kid for a moment had a great deal more value now.
Annali, Dalynn, and Tomisha were drawing pictures of each other since photos were a thing of the past. Tomisha and Annali drew squiggly shapes that vaguely resembled people while Dalynn worked in random abstract shapes of purple. They traded pictures and talked about how they were going to do a super princess tea party when they played again.
When I couldn't avoid it any longer, I walked up to Mercedes and gave her a hug. "It's not too late to change your mind." I whispered. I was watching Kyle and Drew where they sat on the porch talking to each other while they traded video games one last time.
"I know, hon. But this is the right thing to do. I feel it." Mercedes looked sad over the separation but at peace with the decision to stay. I knew that she was happy and this was right but I never was good at goodbyes.
"You know how to find us? Did Trent give you the map?"
"He sure did baby. Now you go on, get out of here. You've got places to go, people to see. If it's what the future has in store, we'll see each other again, alright?"
I sniffled a bit and wiped the tears that fell against my will. "I'm not saying goodbye Ms. Mercedes. I'm saying see you in a year or so. You take care of yourself and make sure the kids do what they are supposed to."
"You got it, Cali. Now go on, you have a ride to catch."
I was one of the last people to get into the cars. When I shut the door to the cab Trent fired up the truck. Lucas pulled out first, followed by Matt and Jody. We pulled into line and Tyreese took up the rear. It was odd not seeing the hybrid in the mirror. Mercedes and the kids waved at us until we turned the corner and couldn't see them anymore. We had been in Scipio for four weeks and leaving was bittersweet. Part of me still felt like we had done a bad thing, leaving them behind. “Accept the things we cannot change” looped in my head over and over. Everyone needs to be able to make their own path in life, especially now. No one knew what sort of time any of us had left. Tears tickled their way down my cheek and I wiped them away.
"We'll see them again, mom." Drew's voice said softly. "The world's too small to not see them." His little boy arms wrapped their way around my shoulders and he leaned against me. I put my arms around him and we sat together quietly for a while.
Traversing Utah
The rumble of the semi-truck's engine ran steady. It was a comforting sound, hypnotic and consistent. I watched as the Hummer kicked snow up and away with the scoop. I had been concerned that the homemade blade wouldn't keep up with the snow level, that the constant stress from the weight of the snow would break it, but it seemed to be working well.
It felt like we were traveling the same distance that it would take to get us to the moon. I just wanted to be there already. It took us a couple hours to get to the next town. Nephi was larger than Scipio but it looked just as vacant. I knew there had been people here, because I watched a few bodies flip up in the snow. We snaked our way through minor traffic snarls.
The CB cracked to life, startling everyone. Jody's voice called out over the radio. "Hey, guys?" Her voice was filled with worry. "My van is acting up. It keeps making a thumping sound and it's kinda hard to steer. What should I do?"
Trent sighed. "It's always something, isn't it?" he muttered before picking up the CB. He drew in a deep breath and exhaled loudly before he pressed the talk button. "Do you see that open space just past these cars?" Trent asked. I was impressed by how well he kept his tone even and calm.
"Yeah, I do." Jody replied.
Trent pressed the talk button with a click. "Do you think you can pull in there?"
"I don't know much about cars. I think I can. I'll try my best." Jody sounded unsure about the whole scenario.
The convoy pulled over. Before we climbed out of the truck I pulled out my probe sticks and gave one to Trent. He looked at me like I had given over to paranoia, but still accepted the stick. I walked over to Jody's van like a blind person as I stepped forward in the snow.
As it turned out Jody somehow picked up a nail in her right front tire. "Wonderful." Trent muttered. I prodded my way over to where the freeway ended and looked over this town. I wrapped my arms around myself and looked for a solution. The solution came. I don't know what the odds of a little town having a tire store within spitting distance, but I counted us very lucky. I walked over and told Trent about the tire shop. His eyes rolled when he muttered, "Small favors."
The van had one of those doughnut, short-term spare tires and a compact jack. Trent got the tools out of the storage space and jacked the van up to remove the wheel. He replaced it with the mini. "I'm going to take this van down to the tire place. Cali, do you want to come along?" Trent looked like he needed the company. I agreed quickly. "You guys got the group?" Trent asked the guys. They nodded. "Cool. We'll be right back."
We drove off, taking it slow on the snow laden roads. "You doing alright, sweetie?" I asked softly. He pushed his glasses down his nose so he could rub his eyes. He looked more exhausted than I had ever seen.
"Yeah. I'm just tired. Been a hell of a long year. After leaving Scipio, it has caught up with me. I just want to get there already. I'm tired of the road. I'm tired of running. I just want to get there. I want to see my sister. I really miss my mom and dad. I want to see my brother-in-law and my nephew. To add to it, I'm terrified that when we get there we're going to find either a stack of zombies that were them or no one at all. I'm tired of these detours we keep ending up taking, but what's more irritating is that there is nothing we can do about any of them. A trip that used to take less than a full day has become an all-out epic journey. I'm trying to keep myself in check, but I just feel stressed out." He pulled the van into the parking lot. We got out and went to the roll up doors to the garage and found them locked. Trent went around and checked the door to the office. It was locked. Trent found a large rock to break the window to the office that was attached to the service area. He smiled at the sound of broken glass as it fell around him. He went inside and opened one of the bay doors. He got the flat out of the back and rolled it inside. He found some weird tool to pop the tire off the rim and got to work replacing it with another tire off the rack that was full of many different tires on the back wall.
I totally got what he was saying. I thought a lot about what he said. "Babe, I don't know what to say to help. I hear what you're saying on all this. I worry, too. I worry that we're leading people to nothing. I'm terrified that we've been building up hope for Drew. What if we get there and his grandparents are gone? How much damage would that do to him?" I watched Trent put the new tire on the wheel using the tool again. He filled the tire with a couple cans of compressed air. I noticed several packages of snow chains on a shelf. Snow chains would be handy. I snagged a few sets. "I know I'm not helping here since I'm saying some of same things you are. I'm hoping that by saying them out loud, you'll realize that you're not alone in your fears. I get it."
Trent put the car on the jack again and changed the wheel to the full sized one. When he put the car back on the ground and stood back up, I wrapped my arms around him. I held him close and kissed him. We were kissing when we heard the sounds of gunfire from the freeway.
We broke from our kiss and looked back to the freeway in wide-eyed horror. We couldn't see anything from our position, so we jumped into the van and drove back. While Trent drove, I checked both of our guns to make sure they were ready for action. Hearing gunfire was never good, and what was worth firing on now was vast. A dozen scenarios popped in my head in the very short drive back to the freeway.
We drove up the off ramp we had used and pulled into the space between the side of the freeway and the semi. I handed Trent his gun and slid out of the van. We crept along, keeping a low profile and our guns ready.
There was a car in the road that did not belong to our group. Everyone was in a defensive position. Matt was the only person I could see. I gave him a look that read what the heck is going on here? He gestured that there were four people and they wanted our stuff. I was listening to Tyreese. I heard him ask the strangers if the stuff was worth their lives. We stayed low and out of sight of the intruders.
"You won't do anything. Well, other than give us the key to the semi." One of the men boldly boasted. "You don't want any of this." I heard laughter from the others in the group.
Trent interrupted the man when he stepped out in full view and fired at the ground near the intruder's feet. Trent took long strides forward with his gun drawn and aimed at the man. "Do you want any of this?" Trent called out. "I ask because we know how to play this game. We've already done this. Your choice, bleed out in the middle of the 15 freeway, or go the other direction."
The man made a step forward and Trent cocked his gun. "I don't think you'll do anything." The man said. He took another forward step. Trent shot him in his knee. He went down on the ground screaming. Matt and Lucas stepped out to show the rest of the guys that they too had a perfect shot. We really did know how to play this game.
Tyreese yelled out to the guys. "You can get your wounded man and go, or you can join him. Your choice."
They put down their weapons and slipped over to their man. They helped him to get into a standing position while he groaned in pain. The group of would-be thieves struggled to the car with their wounded man between them. Awkwardly, they got him in the little car they had. Before the driver climbed in the car, he took a long look at Trent who was standing with the gun pointed at the car. He slid in behind the wheel and they drove away in the opposite direction from where we were headed.
"What in the hell happened?" Trent asked when they were far enough that no one heard the car anymore. His eyes were shining with adrenalin and anger.
"You guys were gone for about five minutes when they showed up," Tyreese began. "They pulled up, acting like they were just on the road as well and saw us pulled over. They wanted to barter, bullets for food. They showed us the boxes of bullets, a lot of bullets, and said they'd trade them for some canned goods and a couple gallons of water. It didn't make sense to me, why they would just be willing to give up that much ammo, and why they were asking for so little in return, and that they were so perfectly just in the right place just as our group split. It was off that we hadn't seen anyone else on the road, even miles back. We said that once the rest of our group got back we'd talk about it, and that I didn't even have the key for the lock on the trailer door. They got agitated. Like, really agitated.
"Lucas opened the door to his car and got into position with his gun. Matt did the same about ten seconds later. Then DaWayne followed that lead. The ringleader pulled a gun out of his waist band and started waving it around when he saw that he was well surrounded. Things were getting loud, all the yelling escalated. I don't think they had been ready for us to be that prepared.
"One of their group members started saying that this didn't work like before. Another said they were supposed to go to town and scavenge. It hit me how new that nail looked and how very convenient this all was, as soon as we stop there is a tire shop. It was a nice little phishing scheme, to borrow a phrase from long ago. I bet that in other hits the people left their cars on the road and everyone went down to the town to try to get stuff. It would have been as easy as taking candy from a baby. They weren't expecting us, or as many of us. I guess other people sent the A team down to the town to try to scavenge. We didn't follow the game plan."
I'm not as naive and trusting as I used to be. Something about losing your home does that to you. It didn't surprise me that there were people that used sabotage as a method to get what they wanted. People did that in the old world too, they pretended to be in an accident so when the Good Samaritan came by there was an easy target for a robbery.
Trent was angry that this group was using other survivors as meal tickets. "It's time already. Let's just get going." Trent said through his clenched teeth. He kicked at a snowbank on the way to the truck and uncovered a zombie in the process. Trent pulled out his hunting knife and plunged it into the zombie's head several times. Zombies, it would seem, are therapeutic. We watched Trent as he worked out his anger until he was done. Afterward, he took a deep breath and seemed a little more relaxed.
"Sorry about that," Trent said quietly, "I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. This trip is nothing like what I expected. I thought it would be a couple days before we got there and we have been on the road for a lot longer than that. I have no idea what to expect on the rest of the trip or what to expect when we get there. I have no idea what the next corner will bring. I keep wondering if Mercedes had the right idea to just land. I'm freaked the heck out that I've led everyone into a series of traps that are going to snap us up."
"Maybe you did, maybe you didn't," Matt started, "but we are all grown people that have made the decision to be part of this convoy. You're not leading us into anything. Hell, if you want to be technical, my brother is the one leading us since he had the plow." Lucas took this opportunity to hurl a snowball at his brother. Matt laughed at him. "My point, man, is this: You don't have any control in this world. None. People are going to pull their tricks any time they can, they always have. Hell, I'm still waiting on that pay out for helping that deposed king of Nigeria. We need to work on our preparation for the tricks they will play, but even then, we can't be ready for everything. We adapt. Doubting yourself doesn't help. All that will do is tear you up and have you decimating a zombie just to bring yourself back together. There's nothing wrong with taking it out on a zombie per se, but if that's your go-to management technique, and there's no zombie around, then what do you do? Don't, man. OK?" Matt cocked his head to the side and looked at Trent with a crooked smile.
Trent nodded. "Yeah. That's something I need to remind myself of more often. I used to be a planner. I used to schedule things and have three other plans just in case something went wrong. This trip is a slap in the face of all that. I have no other plan."
"Well, plan on leaning on other people. Because you're not alone in this." Lucas replied.
Merideth broke the emotional tension by saying, "This is so sweet. My husband does have a sensitive, understanding side. I may need a tissue." I giggled at her as she made grandiose movements of wiping her eyes.
"We had a lot of control back in the complex. Setting up the safe zone like we did made us feel like things were all going to work out easily." I didn't know why I felt the reason to explain how things were. It really didn't matter anymore, but the words spilled out of my mouth anyway. "We believed since the beginning that as long as we were smart about things and tried to keep a few steps ahead that this would be a cake walk to survive. We built a moat and drawbridge and felt so secure."
Lacey chimed in, "But, it still came to this, you still didn't have any control. You were driven out by things you couldn't do anything about." I nodded.
"In Alcoholics Anonymous, they say accept the things you cannot change, have courage to change the things you can, and wisdom to know the difference. This is one of those things. You can do everything in your power to keep those you love safe, but you have to accept that there are some things that you can't control. Like what other people do; there is nothing that you can do about the choices that they make. You can only work on your reaction to them. Is burning a hole into the lining of your stomach going to change that those dough heads have a little scam going on? Nope. So we keep going on." Matt concluded his speech with a triumphant smile.