The Rhythm of My Heart (34 page)

“Gracie,” John says, pulling me back into the moment. “Here, this one says
to baby Tierney
.” And he hands me a small package. Everyone’s happily opening their own gifts, but when I rip off the wrapping paper and burst out laughing at what I see inside, all eyes are on me.

“Let us see what it is!” April demands.

Shaking my head and looking around, I catch sight of Cole smirking and trying to hold back his own laughter. “This is from you, isn’t it?” I ask him, but I don’t need him to reply because I know, without a doubt, that he bought this and will have the baby wearing it every chance he gets.

“Show us, Gracie,” Ashley says impatiently.

I pick up the tiny, white onesie that has a picture of a stethoscope on it, positioned to look like it’s hanging around the baby’s neck. Printed on one side of the chest is ‘Baby Tierney M.D.’ and on the other it says ‘My daddy’s a sexy ER doctor.’ It’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen, and the fact that Cole has had this little piece of clothing custom made for our baby sends my heart soaring.

Lifting it up I turn it around for everyone to see. The sounds of laughter, gasps, and awws fill the room, and everyone starts telling Cole what a fantastic idea it is. He’s so proud of himself, so I walk over to him and sit on his lap. I hold his face and pepper tender, little kisses on his eyelids, his cheeks, his nose, and finally his lips. “That is the sweetest gift ever,” I tell him. “But I don’t know if I can let the baby wear it, though; I don’t want it to get ruined.”

Cole gets a mischievous look on his face. “You don’t have to worry about that, Gracie. I had six different sizes made and two in each size. I had them made in white t-shirts for when little one gets bigger, too,” he informs me.

My eyes widen with his words. “You really did that?”

“I really did,” he confirms, rubbing his hand over my stomach.

“You’re crazy.” I giggle.

“Crazy about you and our baby,” he says, and pulls me in for a smoldering kiss that really isn’t appropriate at this moment when our families surround us on Christmas day.

“All right, you two, knock it off,” my dad interrupts. “There’re more presents to get through.”

Resting our foreheads together, I sigh in contentment. “Merry Christmas, Cole.”

“Merry Christmas, Gracie,” he replies.

Staying where I’m perched on Cole’s lap, we turn our attention back to everyone else. Ruby is so excited about her gifts; she picks one up for five minutes, and then puts it down again and grabs another one, wanting to play with everything at once. She certainly has been spoiled this year with everything that Cole’s family has given her as well as her usual stash from Charlie, Dad, and me. John, Olivia, April, and Sam have all fallen under Ruby’s little charms and treat her as if she’s their own grandchild and niece. Ruby has taken to them completely too, and the fact that they’ve all made an effort in learning the basic signs is touching. Nicole’s family was never around even before Ruby was born, so it’s as if Ruby is getting a whole, new, extended family, too.

Watching how happy and excited she gets every time she opens a new gift, and then running up to Cole to show him what she got, is precious. Cole gives her his complete attention; since he’s been learning more sign language too, he’s been able to communicate with her more. Ever since that first night of babysitting, she’s adored Cole and he’s adored her right back. He really is going to be an amazing dad.

When the last present has been opened, the men start cleaning up the paper and packaging, while we women head to the kitchen to finish fixing the food. With so many pairs of hands helping out, we’re sitting at the table enjoying Christmas dinner before we know it.

Everyone’s exuberantly happy. The sound of Christmas carols, playing as background music, sets the perfect mood as we continue to sit around the table after all the dinner dishes have been cleared away. Knowing that this is the perfect time for Cole and me to let everyone know our plans, I reach under the table and place my hand on his thigh to subtlety get his attention. When he turns to me, I quietly whisper, “I think we should do it now.”

“Okay, let’s do it,” he replies.

“May I have everyone’s attention for a few minutes, please?” Cole says, causing all conversation to stop, and everyone to look at him expectantly. “Gracie and I have been discussing a few things, and we thought that this would be the perfect time to share it with you all.”

“Oh, you’re getting married!” Olivia exclaims, and I watch Cole’s expression change slightly.

He gives an awkward little chuckle. “No, actually, that’s not what I was going to say.”

Olivia’s excitement over the prospect of a wedding deflates instantly.

“Oh,” she murmurs, and then quickly composes herself. “So, what’s the news then?”

Good save, Olivia.

“Okay. So we know it’s a little early considering the baby isn’t here yet, but we’ve decided that we are definitely getting the baby baptized, and we know who we want the godparents to be.”

As I look around the table, I can see the keen interest on a few faces. Cole glances at me, smiles, takes my hand, and brings it to his lips and kisses it before continuing.

“We know that this baby is going to be blessed with so much love, and we really couldn’t choose one person over another.”

“Just say who it is, already.” April blurts out, cutting Cole off.

Everyone chuckles at her impatience.

“Anyway, April, we want both you and Ashley to be the godmothers,” Cole tells them.

Both of them jump out of their chairs squealing with delight.
Seriously, you’d think they just won the lottery.
They hug each other and are around the table hugging Cole and me within seconds. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. We’re going to be the best godmothers, and now we have even more right to spoil the baby,” April excitedly announces.

When they return to their seats, Cole starts again.
Wow! Who would have thought asking people to be godparents would be such a drawn out affair.
“And we’d love it if both Charlie and Sam would be the godfathers.”

“Hell yes, we will,” Charlie declares, and he’s up giving Cole a man hug and then pulls me into his arms as well. “I’ll always protect your baby, just like you do with Ruby, Gracie. I’m honored that you would have me,” he says, with complete sincerity.

“We wouldn’t want anyone else, Charlie,” I reply.

It’s then I notice that Sam hasn’t moved or said anything about our request. Cole clearly notices as well. “I take it you’re not interested, Sam,” Cole remarks with a slight edge in his tone.

I can’t read the expression on Sam’s face at all, but it’s blatantly obvious that his eyes are glassy. He stands up. “Yes, of course… Thanks… I… I’ll be back in a minute.” And that’s all he says, as he leaves the room.

Cole looks as confused by Sam’s reaction as everyone else at the table is. I’m not sure how to take his response, but if he doesn’t want to be the baby’s godfather then he doesn’t have to be.

“I’ll go speak to him.” Olivia offers, but Cole stops her right away.

“No, mom, Gracie and I’ll go. You guys start on dessert; we’ll be right back.” He reaches for my hand and helps me stand, and then leads me toward the living room without saying a word. When we reach the entrance, we see Sam standing in front of the Christmas tree, just staring at it.

“Look, Sam, if you don’t want to do it, it’s fine. It’s not like we’re going to tie you down and make you,” Cole tells him.

Sam shakes his head, and when he speaks, his voice breaks a little but he doesn’t turn to face us. “I’ve never been asked to take on a responsibility like this before. I mean, I know I have a duty to care for my patients but this is completely different.” He turns to us now and his eyes have welled with unshed tears. “I know for some people being a godparent is just a title, but it’s not to me. You’re asking me to be more than the surrogate uncle.”

“You’re not a surrogate uncle, Sam,” I declare.

“Yeah, I am. I’m not the baby’s uncle by blood like Charlie is, but by being a godparent, it means that I’ll have a permanent place in its life.”

“Of course, you have a permanent place in the baby’s life. You’re my best friend; goddamn it, and I’ve considered you my brother since the day you came to live with us. Blood means nothing. What’s going on with you, Sam? I thought you’d be happy and excited about this,” Cole says.

“I’m honored guys, really, I am. I honestly don’t know how to explain to you both what I’m feeling right now, but I do know that I’d do anything, anything at all, for either of you or the baby. Thank you for believing that I’m worthy of the role; it means more than you know,” Sam confesses.

Since I’ve been pregnant, I’ve gotten to know Sam really well. We’ve become great friends, and he does have the protective big brother vibe happening at times. Therefore, right now, I get the feeling that he is struggling with emotions that he’s not familiar with. There’s definitely something deeper going on. I need to talk about it with Cole later and see how we can help him.

“There’s no one else we trust more with our child than the four of you, Sam. You have to know how important you are to us,” Cole tries to convince him; he walks over and pulls Sam in for a man hug.

“The feeling’s mutual.” he mumbles, and it suddenly occurs to me that Sam has some major issues expressing himself and dealing with his feelings. The need to go comfort him has me moving across the room and pulling him into a hug.

“You are going to be an amazing uncle and godfather, Sam.”

“Thanks, Gracie,” he responds and pulls back clearly ready to end the conversation.

“All right, let’s get back in there before April eats all the trifle and we’re left with the damn apple crumble,” Cole says, jovially.

“Don’t worry; I hid a bunch of the Christmas cookies from her. I’ve got you covered.” Sam snickers as he claps Cole on the shoulder and heads back to the dining room, in seemingly cheerier spirits than moments before. His change in demeanor does nothing to settle the concern I’m feeling for him though.

“Let’s get some dessert, baby,” Cole suggests, as he comes to my side and wraps an arm around my waist guiding me back to our families.

With the festive mood quickly returning, the rest of the day goes by without a hitch; there’s no more talk about godparents. A game of Pictionary has everyone in hysterics over our pitiful artistic skills, and the teasing banter ensures a wonderful Christmas is had by all.

My final thought of the day as I drift off to sleep in Cole’s arms is while this Christmas has been fantastic, next year will be even better because we’ll have our own little Christmas elf to spoil.

Chapter 42

Ashley….

It’s New Year’s Eve, a night to celebrate the end of one year and the start of another. A night where you get to let loose and then wipe the slate clean, ready for a fresh start. A night when people make silly little promises about how they’re going to change, but they rarely follow through on them. But not me, I don’t make resolutions; I make plans. Realistic plans like offering new services to my customers.
Chocolate and cookie bouquets… Yum!
Taking a week off and going somewhere tropical, so I can relax and soak up the sun. And my last plan… putting myself out there and making more of an effort to meet someone normal; someone I can actually have a decent relationship with.

Seeing how happy Gracie is with Cole has me wanting the same thing. I want someone who will love me unconditionally. I was raised by my Grandmother, because my parents thought I was too much of a burden and left. I haven’t seen them since I was six years old, and Grammy died when I was nineteen. I am lucky that Grammy left me her house in her will; I may not have any biological family around, but at least I have a home.
The only home I’ve ever known.
Bryan, Gracie, Charlie, and Rubes have always been my family. They’ve shown me how a family should love each other, but I want my own family, too. So, as I said, in the New Year, I plan on opening up more; I hope I can be as happy as Gracie, too.

“Hey, you okay?” Gracie asks, as she takes a seat beside me on the outdoor lounge. Cole has had the huge deck closed in with detachable screens that make it look just like another room. There are a few outdoor heaters keeping the area warm with people milling around them, even though the night isn’t too cold. The Tierneys are here, of course, and Bryan and Charlie, too; some hospital staff, the girls that I work with, and loads of kids are here. The atmosphere’s buoyant with music playing, laughter, and an abundance of food and drink.
Why am I feeling so down?

“Yeah, I’m great,” I reply, trying to disguise my mood with an overly bright smile.

Gracie cocks her eyebrow. “Don’t lie to me, Ashley Brookes. I’ve been your best friend since we started elementary school. I know when you’re hiding your feelings, and quite frankly, you don’t want to screw with a pregnant woman when she can’t have a drink on New Year’s Eve.”

“One drink isn’t going to hurt you, is it? I mean, surely, you can have a little sip,” I say, trying to change the subject.

“In case you’ve forgotten, the baby’s father is a doctor; its grandfather is a doctor, and its uncle is a doctor. I’m pregnant, not stupid, Ash. There’s no way I’m going to subject myself to any fetal alcohol syndrome lectures, even for the sake of one sip.”