The Rhythm of My Heart (38 page)

“What’s up?” I ask, and Allison speaks first.

“Incoming trauma. The patient’s heavily pregnant and reports are that she ran several red lights and stop signs before three other vehicles collided with her car at an intersection. She’s unconscious, possible broken ribs, broken arm and leg, facial lacerations and head trauma, and a major concern is the distress the baby’s in; that’s why Dr. Evans is here.”

I shoot Sam a sidelong glance and fall into step beside them heading for the ambulance bay. “ETA, Allison?”

“Approximately five minutes, Dr. Tierney,” she replies.

“Okay, Sam and I will go make sure everything’s set up. You go ahead and wait for the ambulance.” Allison nods and heads away from us. Sam and I go to trauma room one. Our efficient team already has everything in place, so we put on gloves and are ready for the patient.

“Cole, if this baby is in serious distress, I’m going to have to do an emergency C-section, quickly. The mother needs to be assessed and stabilized as fast as possible so I can get them to an OR.”

“Sure thing, I’ll assess the mother; you worry about saving the baby; any broken bones can be fixed later, but it’s the head trauma I’m worried about.”

Sam gasps. “Shit, I’m going to miss Gracie’s appointment.”

I chuckle and shake my head. There isn’t another baby or pregnant woman as important to him as Gracie and his godchild. “Don’t stress, Sam, she’ll understand and I’m sure she’ll still let you be the baby’s godfather.”

Sam glares at me. “That’s not funny, Cole.” His expression and tone, are full of annoyance. I chuckle to myself again.

We’re moving back toward the ambulance bay doors when Allison appears running through them with a horrified expression on her face. She’s completely unsettled and nothing ever gets to Allison. She’s always calm and collected, but now her eyes are darting between Sam’s and mine. Sam and I share a look and Sam snorts. “Jesus, Allison, are you all right? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Allison looks back at me as her eyes fill with tears. My heart jumps straight into my throat. “Allison?” I croak.

“Cole,” she says, in barely a whisper.
Cole?
She never calls me Cole at work; something is seriously wrong. The bay doors open and the EMTs push the gurney through. I can see the pregnant patient. My gaze is drawn to her blood-covered shirt. It’s yellow, bright yellow. The same yellow, my beautiful girl was wearing when I left the house this morning.
Please, God, No!

“God, Cole it’s… it’s Grace.” Allison sobs.

I hear Sam call my name. He sounds far away, very far away. I feel someone grab for my arm, but I pull free and I’m running. I make it to the gurney where the EMTs are rattling off a list of injuries, BPs, and oxygen saturations, but nothing makes sense.
Please, please don’t be her. Please, God!
I look down at the woman and take in her face which is covered in blood and lacerations. It’s Gracie…

My beautiful Gracie.

There’s movement all around me. Sam’s shouting my name, but I don’t answer him. I’m vaguely aware of other doctors and nurses in the trauma room, but all I can do is stare at Gracie’s face. Different voices are bouncing around the room, and someone’s tugging at my arms, I pull away and continue staring at the woman I love, at the reason for my existence. Somewhere in the back of my mind I acknowledge that I AM a doctor… I should be helping her, but my mind isn’t working as it should be.

Sam’s face appears directly in my line of sight. “Cole, you need to get out of here now! You need to move so we can take care of Gracie and the baby!” He yells at me.

I shake my head and slowly find my voice. “No, I won’t leave her!”

Sam grabs hold of me and yanks me away. “I’ll take care of them, Cole; I promise, but you need to leave.”

I feel like punching my best friend in the face. “No, goddamn it, she’s my life; I’m not leaving her!” I scream. I turn back to Gracie, and I think I hear Sam tell someone to call security, but I really don’t care.

For a few seconds, I look her over from her beautiful head to her toes, as they cut her clothes from her body, trying to assess her injuries myself.
Oh, God. They shouldn’t be seeing her like this.

There’s blood everywhere. Her left arm is lying at an unnatural angle and I can see it bruising and swelling already. Her left leg is covered in even more blood; even at a glance, I can clearly see it’s broken. There are so many small cuts to her face and experience tells me that they’re from shards of glass; the impact would have shattered the windshield. The largest gash to her forehead has been covered with gauze and pressure is being applied by a nurse. I fall to my knees as her name softly escapes my trembling lips, “Gracie.”

As wires and tubes are attached to her body and the heart rate monitor continues an erratic beat, I silently pray to God to keep both Gracie and the baby safe.
Please, God. I won’t survive without them.

Suddenly, two sets of thick heavy arms grab me from behind and start to drag me away. I instantly start to struggle and thrash about and I’m screaming, “Let me go for fuck’s sake; get your hands off me.” I glance at Sam, but his attention is focused on Gracie, along with two other doctors. I know they’re doing everything they can, but I just can’t leave her.

The security guards get me to the doorway, and with my eyes still locked on Gracie, I yell, “Gracie, I love you. Stay with me, baby, please stay with me. I love you, Gracie!”

I can feel warm tears running down my face. The pain in my chest is horrendous and it’s at that exact moment that the heart rate monitor lets out one long continuous beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep………………………………

Everything stops…

My breathing falters and time stands still as my world and my heart shatter into a million tiny pieces.

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