The Right to a Bear's Arms (A BBW Shifter Romance) (Wolf Rock Shifters) (3 page)

“Oh, I couldn’t accept. That’s very generous, but I can’t pay you back yet.”

“Doesn’t matter. Just…let me help you.”

“Thank you, Colson,” she said, her face turned to look outside again. “You’ve helped enough.”

“
All right then,” he said, “But before we’re done the drive, maybe you can explain to me why you didn’t tell me you’re a shifter.”

“How did you know?” Zoe asked.

She felt annoyed,
as though this man had somehow deceived her, when in fact it was her own failure to deceive that caused any genuine disappointment.

“I just know. I’ve been around shifters all my
life. If nothing else, you smell.”

“Gee, thanks.” She looked out the window, gritting her teeth.

Colson laughed. “I’m teasing. But you know what I mean. Humans have a distinct smell. Not nearly so interesting. But even if I hadn’t picked up on your scent, I knew when you touched me.

“How?
”

“I just knew. Shifters have a different sort of energy to them. I suppose my instincts kick in when I’m around them.

“I don’t know about that. I suppose you’re right, about the energy thing.”

“You suppose? Zoe,
are you telling me you haven’t spent time with shifters?”

“
No, I haven’t. Not a lot of them, anyhow. I was adopted.”

“Oh.”

“It is what it is. My parents got rid of me because I was a freak and someone else took me in.”

“It happens. But I’m sure it wasn’t because you were a freak. One of your parents must have had the genes.
They wouldn’t see you as something to discard.”

“I don’t know. I never got to know them.”

Colson looked over at her.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Well, t
hey missed out.”

“Thank you for saying that.”

“And your adoptive parents? Are they nice?”

Zoe went silent now, and
Colson felt that he’d delved even further into unwelcome territory.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s all right. They’re nice. They’re fine. But they never understood me, and I never felt at home, not really.”

“So what are you? What’s your animal, I mean.”

“My animal? I…” Zoe considered her answer for a moment. How much should she tell him? When she’d decided that there was no harm in it, she said, “My animal is everything. All over the place. I can change into a mouse or an elephant.”

“Oh man. So you’re a shape-chang
er. I’ve heard of your kind but never met one.”

“Yes. Like I said, a freak.”

“Shit, Zoe, I keep saying the wrong thing. No, not a freak. I’m in awe, to tell you the truth. I envy you.”

“Do you? Well, you shouldn’t.
It’s like I don’t know who I am, what I am. I can’t settle. The first time it ever happened I was terrified. And what I said about never feeling at home? Well, that goes for my entire body. It’s my worst enemy.”

“Don’t you feel like you can use this power? Think of all the possibilities. You can do anything. You must even be able to fly.”

Colson’s voice was filled with admiration and the envy he’d mentioned.

“Yes, I can. But it’s not as great as it all seems. I feel like I can’t relax in my own skin
. I never have. And sometimes it’s hard to control. When I get really upset I sort of lose myself sometimes…it’s hard to explain.”

“Well, you can try,” said
Colson, looking at her profile.

“I sometimes change without being in charge of it. I’ve hurt people at times.
Physically injured, I mean. And sometimes when I really need to shift, my body betrays me. I don’t have all the control that I need or want. I’m working on it though.”

“I’ve heard that shape
-changers like you have a hard time of it. There’s a lot more focus needed to do what you do.”

“Well, colour me unfocused then, because it’s one thing in my life that makes me feel like a failure.”

“Come on now. You just need practice. Wolf Rock, where we’re going, will have more like you. Maybe there’s someone you can talk to, who can help.”

“I doubt it,” growled Zoe. The last
thing she wanted was more “help.” The man she was escaping from had once offered to look after her and she couldn’t get far enough from him now. Once she was out of this truck and had thanked Colson, she would be truly on her own, and that was all she wanted. To be left alone.

The terrain outside was changing. What had been rolling, pine covered hills was now evolving into rocky peaks. As the road stretched before them, Zoe felt as though a gateway of mountains was welcoming them into its clutches, meaning both concealment and the inability to escape. She found herself fearful and excited about what lay ahead.

“I’ll check out the town,” she offered in a gentler tone, knowing that Colson probably didn’t mean any harm. He was the first man she could think of who’d aided her without asking anything in return, even rejecting her advances. She didn’t know how to speak to such a person.

“You should. And really, Zoe, if you need anything I’ll be there.”

“What are you going to do there? Do you have a job or relatives or something?”

“I have a cousin,
and I’m planning to work as a mechanic for him. He runs the only auto shop in town.”

“Ah.”

“So you’ll always know where to find me.” Colson turned and smiled at her.

Zoe allowed herself an awkward smile. She knew full well that looking for
Colson was unlikely at best. She’d be doing all she could simply to survive and to remain hidden.

Buildings began to appear before them; at first, the sort of chalet-style townhouses that always seem to be erected on the outskirts of mountain towns, and then the main strip of welcoming shops and overpriced restaurants.

But what caught Zoe’s eye were the creatures roaming the streets.

A large, dark wolf padded along the sidewalk, advancing past a coffee shop. On the other side of the street, a sleek cheetah, walking next to a bobcat. Even an emu paraded around a corner.

Among them were people, of course; many dressed in the sort of loose-fitting clothing that Zoe herself wore, ready to shift at a moment’s notice.

“Do people here hang out in animal form, then?” she asked.

“I think sometimes, yeah, like you see. But I don’t think it’s for any reason other than preference. This place hasn’t been under threat in a while. People on the outside seem to be getting used to the idea of shifters, finally.”

As they made their way down the main street, a banner overhead signalled an ongoing event:

Lunar Fair
, September 18-30. Come meet us in the woods and be amazed!

“What’s that all about?” asked Zoe.

“My cousin said it’s a new thing, now that the town’s mostly occupied by shifters. They’ve been building in the woods, you see; dens and houses for the various packs. And to get everyone familiar with the lay of the land they’re having a sort of circus at night to welcome people. He said it’s quite a spectacle. We should go check it out.”

“Maybe,” said Zoe, hesitant to commit to any social outings.

“Or you can
go on your own tonight,” said Colson, sensing her reluctance to have an escort. “I’m sure you can find your way around. Listen, where do you want me to drop you?”

“Anywhere is fine,” she said, smiling again.

She opened her satchel, hoping to extract a twenty-dollar bill without drawing his attention to the stack of cash between her fingers.

“Don’t worry about it,” Colson said as she rifled through the cash. “It’s on me.”

“Thanks. I owe you one.”

Colson
pulled up in front of a restaurant. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“I’m always okay,” she said, opening the door and climbing out. “I always survive.”

“You should do more than survive, Zoe. You should live,” he said, leaning over and looking up into her eyes.

“I don’t know how,” she said, and then she closed the door.

As Colson drove off, Zoe wondered if she’d ever see him again. In spite of herself, she hoped that she would.

There was no need, Zoe thought, to find indoor lodging for the night. She could, of course, and she could even pay for it. But everything that rendered her more visible to the townspeople seemed like a bad idea, including checking into a hotel. The woods would do as a resting place for the night, and when it grew dark she’d find a place to conceal her money as well.

For now, though, she was hungry an
d so she entered the restaurant which stood next to the place where Colson had dropped her off. It was a non-descript sort of family eatery with laminated menus which contained colourful photographs of the mounds of gravy-coated food one might expect to be served.

It was t
he perfect sort of place to blend in.

A smiling waitress approached
after Zoe had seated herself. “What can I get for you?” she asked.

“What do you recommend?”

“Hmm. Let’s see. You look like a meat and potatoes kind of gal,” said the young woman, eyeing Zoe, who took the words as a slight and found herself resisting the urge to growl.

“I mean
t that as a compliment,” added the waitress, sensing hostility. Though she was human, she’d learned to interpret the body language of shifters and she knew better than to provoke them. “You look like a straight shooter is all I was getting at.”

“I see,” said Zoe.
“Well, aside from the fact that I have no gun to shoot with, I suppose you’re right. I’ll have the steak then. Rare. Bloody, even. And a beer.”

“Be right back,” smiled the woman, who seem
ed keen now to distance herself from the grumpy redhead.

“Shit, I’ve got to be a little less hostile,” thought Zoe. She knew that leaving an impression—any sort of impression—was a bad idea.

When the waitress returned with her food, Zoe smiled at her and said, “Say, what can you tell me about this fair thing in town? Is it worth checking out?”

“
Oh my God, yes,” said the young woman, who now exhibited an excited friendliness and seemed to have forgotten any earlier unpleasantness, much to Zoe’s relief. “It’s more a circus than a fair, but really it’s neither one. There are tents with people doing acrobatics and animals doing all sorts of tricks. It’s sort of magical. It’s in the middle of the woods and so pretty. You should totally go.”

“I will. Thanks.”

Zoe wondered if the magic disappeared when you knew that the ‘animals’ in question were shifters who knew perfectly well what they were doing
; hardly trained monkeys. Still, she was curious, and given her plan to wander into the woods after dinner, she didn’t see the harm in having a look around. It would give her an excuse to roam in shifted form and to avoid much communication with strangers.

When she
’d finished her dinner, Zoe put enough cash down to pay the bill and leave a generous but unremarkable tip on the table, and left the restaurant. Outside, the sun was beginning to set early, as it did in the mountains where the line of the horizon sat atop the snowy peaks, and a beautiful pink glow filled the sky. She allowed herself a moment to take it in before walking towards the woods, hoping to see some sort of hint as to where to find the lunar fair.

She shifted as she walked, into her
favourite dark cat form. The temptation was to fly over the woods as an eagle or a hawk, but transporting her weighty satchel while doing so would be too difficult. The first priority was to find a hiding place for its contents. The dress which she’d been wearing had dropped loosely to the ground, and she lifted it gently in her teeth and managed to cram it into the satchel with her paws. Often it occurred to Zoe that a primate of some sort would be the best choice for these moments, but she’d learned to be adept with her large panther feet.

She slid her head under the satchel’s strap and proceeded into the forest, looking for a tree that w
ould be easy to climb, distinguishable in some way yet well-hidden.

It wasn’t long before she heard sounds: voices, music and the odd ringing
of a bell somewhere in the distance ahead. Zoe made her way in the direction of what was no doubt the fair, and as she did so she came upon her tree.

It was a tall one, with a tangle of roots at its base which seem
ed to call out to Zoe to use them to propel herself upwards. Its trunk was thick and twisted, and the tree looked as if it must have been at least a hundred years old. With only a slight running start, Zoe sprang up its bark, not stopping until she’d reached the highest branches that would still support her weight.

As she stood balanced on a high limb, she studied the tree’s trunk
before her. One solitary knot was promising; it appeared to be a deep hole, large enough to cram a small bag into. She had only to make sure that the opening didn’t go down too far, and that the tree wasn’t unhealthy or hollow.