Authors: Brenda Jackson
“I don’t regret anything, Cord.”
A slow, easy smiled tilted his lips. “Good, and I appreciate you being here with me, Amber. It means a lot to me.”
She nodded. It meant a lot to her as well.
Chapter 22
J
esse stood back after ringing the doorbell, trying to put out of his mind the episode he’d witnessed earlier that day with Carla and her mother. What he’d heard had taken him aback.
But then it had shocked the hell out of Carla Osborne. That much had been evident on her face when her mother had dropped her little bombshell. How could a child accept that she had not been wanted by one of her parents? For him it had been fairly easy growing up in a foster home most of his life. Most of the kids there had been in the same boat he’d been in. Every single one of them had been either given up for adoption or had been taken away from their parents because the parents hadn’t cared enough to look out for their welfare. He would never forget the day he had met Mike and the two had bonded and had become the best of friends. It was their dream, their plan to grow up not wanting or needing anyone, and so far that’s the way they’d always kept things. They had each other and they hadn’t needed anyone else. He would never forget that day when Susan Brady’s private investigator had tracked him down, claiming he was her long lost son—the one she’d given up for adoption. After meeting her, she’d told him the long story of how she, a white woman, had fallen in love with this African-American law student and had gotten pregnant.
His thoughts returned to the present when he heard the sound of footsteps approaching the door. Although he didn’t want it to, his heart had gone out to Carla. Her mother’s words had been brutal and cruel. But then, he quickly decided, what was between Carla and her mother was their business. His only concern was his son, which was the reason he was here.
He would get to see and meet his son for the first time.
He tried not to be nervous at the thought of how his child would react to him. He intended for this to be the first of several visits. If Carla had a problem with him coming to her home then he would make arrangements for him to spend time with his child elsewhere. But come hell or high water, he intended to be a permanent fixture in his child’s life. He refused for his son to find out about his parent the way he had.
Or the way Carla had found out about hers.
He wondered which was worse, growing up not knowing your parents or knowing the one you had had never loved you?
Before he could ponder that question any further, the door opened and he stared at Carla standing there, looking beautiful as ever. His gaze rolled over her, taking in her pullover blouse and jeans. Jeans never looked so good on a woman and desire quickly spread through him. He remembered another time he had stood on Carla’s doorstep when she’d opened the door. Thanksgiving night nearly three years ago.
His hand tightened into fists at his side. Now was not the time to be captivated by a beautiful face. He had to remind himself that this was the woman who’d had his child and hadn’t had the decency to tell him. It would have been different if she’d not known how to reach him but she had. He’d made certain of that. In fact after returning to California he’d wanted her to call and for the first couple of months had hoped that she would, for any reason, even if it was to institute a long-distance affair. But…according to Sonya Morrison, Carla thought he had lied to her and was involved with someone else when they had slept together. He wondered how she would react to know that person had
been his mother.
“Jesse.”
Her voice was cool, detached, and he knew she wished he was not there, but as far as he was concerned that was her problem and not his. “Carla, you know why I’m here.”
“Yes. Please come in. Craig is just finishing up dinner.”
He entered her home and immediately felt its warmth and homeyness. He glanced around and it was evident that a child lived there. Not because of any toys scattered about, but because of the number of photographs everywhere, as well as the child safety locks he quickly noticed. There was no doubt that she had taken every precaution to keep her child—their child—safe.
“If you care to have a seat, I’ll go get Craig.”
Jesse nodded as he sat down on a leather couch. It was obvious she planned to give him the cold shoulder and have very little to say to him. That was fine with him if she wanted to use that approach, since any time her mouth moved he remembered the taste of it. It was a taste he doubted he would ever forget.
“He was named after your father?” he asked before she could leave the room.
“Yes.” Carla met his gaze and decided to say, “Craig and I had a long talk today and I told him you were coming for a visit. He’ll be somewhat shy at first, which is understandable, but once he gets to—”
“Who did you tell him was coming?”
Carla sighed as she gathered herself. There was no use denying what would soon be the obvious. “His daddy.”
Jesse’s breath got caught in his lungs. “Am I, Carla?” he asked, wanting her to tell him what he’d wanted to hear directly from her all along. “Am I your son’s father?”
Everything in Carla went still. She knew what he wanted. He wanted to hear her admit it and there was no way she could not. She looked at him for a long moment, accepting his right to know, a right she had refused him for almost three years. “Yes, Craig is your son,” she said quietly, finally. “Please excuse me while I go get him.”
Jesse’s throat tightened when Carla left the room. Carla.
The woman who was the mother of his child.
That single thought had more of an impact than he wanted it to. All along he’d known there was a strong possibility it was true, but hearing her admit it had a sudden calming effect on him.
“Jesse, this is Craig.”
Jesse’s head swung around and his gaze fixed on the little boy whose hand Carla held. His breath caught. It was like looking at a miniature of himself. Everything was there, practically the same. The skin tone, the eye color, the hair texture, his features. Even if Carla never acknowledged it with words, the total package clearly showed this was
his
son.
Half his.
He couldn’t deny that although his son had the majority of his features, he also belonged to Carla. He was
their
son.
“Craig, this is your daddy. I told you that he was coming by. Say hello.”
Jesse watched as the little boy’s gaze shifted from staring at the floor to him. “Hello,” he said softly, shyly.
Jesse’s heart almost stopped but he forced it to keep beating as he slowly crossed the room and crouched down in front of his son, meeting his direct gaze on his level. He became overwhelmed when hazel eyes met hazel eyes and for a moment he couldn’t get out the words he had intended to say when an insurmountable degree of emotions surged through him. “Hello, Craig. How are you?” he asked when he was finally able to speak.
The little boy glanced up at his mother as if seeking her permission to answer. At her nod, he said, “Fine.”
Jesse stood as he cleared the tightness in his throat. “Would you like to sit on the sofa and talk to me a while?”
His son frowned. “Can Mommy come, too?”
Jesse heard fear in his son’s voice and understood. He shot a glance at Carla. “Yes, she can if she wants.”
Carla didn’t want to. “You’re a big boy, Craig. You can sit on the sofa with your daddy all by yourself. Mommy will be right here. All right?”
Craig looked at her with pleading eyes. “You won’t go away?”
She smiled down at the son she loved more than life. “No, I won’t leave the room so go ahead.”
She then took her son’s hand and placed it in Jesse’s and sensed the emotional impact Craig was having on him. When Jesse walked Craig over to the sofa, she crossed the room to look out the window, needing the distance from the man who had fathered her child.
She glanced back over her shoulder and saw that Craig was sitting in Jesse’s lap and could see the look of awe and surprise on Jesse’s face to see just how much his son looked like him.
“So tell me, Craig, are you a good boy?”
Craig shook his head no. Carla couldn’t help but smile. At least her son was honest.
“And why not?” Jesse asked as if surprised by the little boy’s response.
“Because I still wet my pants.”
Jesse smiled and Carla tried not to be captured by that smile. “But it is something you’re getting better at, right?” Jesse asked.
“Wetting my pants?”
Jesse lifted a brow. “No, not wetting them.”
Craig seemed to ponder that question then said, “Mrs. Boston said I’m getting better.”
Jesse lifted his gaze to Carla. “Who’s Mrs. Boston?”
“She’s the lady who keeps him every day while I’m at work.”
“She’s nice,” Craig said, giving his father a toothless grin.
For the next few minutes Carla stood by the window and watched Jesse talk to their son as the two got to know each other. She was surprised that he hadn’t shown up with some extravagant gift to win Craig over. She really had expected him to. Instead, he was offering himself to his child without any fancy frills. He evidently wanted to build a place in his son’s heart without any material inducements, and she couldn’t help but appreciate that.
“Are you glad to see my mommy, too?”
Craig’s question caught Carla’s attention. Jesse had just finished telling him how glad he was to see him.
“Yes, I’m glad to see your mommy, too.”
“Will you live with us?”
Carla swallowed. Craig had asked her that very same thing when she’d told him about Jesse earlier that day, and she had told him no, his daddy would be living elsewhere. Evidently her son had decided to ask Jesse for himself.
“No, but I’ll never be far away and I’ll come see you every chance I get. Maybe you can even come and visit me.”
Craig smiled. “Will Mommy come, too?”
Jesse glanced across the room at Carla, and before he could answer, she did. “No, sweetheart, Mommy won’t be coming. Whenever you and your daddy spend time together it will be just the two of you and you will have lots of fun.”
Craig looked at his mother and thought on her answer. He pondered it for a while then said in a pout, “No. I won’t go if Mommy don’t go.”
Carla opened her mouth to argue the point but Jesse shook his head sending her a silent message that it was okay. Building a relationship with his son would take time and he knew, understood, and accepted that.
“Can you color?”
Craig’s question recaptured Jesse’s attention and he couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, I can color.”
“Will you color with me?”
“Yes, if that’s what you want to do.”
No sooner had Jesse answered than Craig scrambled out of his arms and took off.
Carla couldn’t help but shake her head as a grin touched her lips. “You may have made a big mistake. That’s Coloring Craig and he’ll have you stretched out here on the floor coloring with him for hours.”
Jesse chuckled. “I don’t mind.”
The way Jesse suddenly looked at her with odd intensity made her uncomfortable. It also reminded her that the two of them were still at odds with each other. He was trying to hurt her and was willing to destroy the livelihood of her employees in the process. Tomorrow would be the day the board met to decide the fate of Osborne and chances were she, along with a number of other employees, would be given their walking papers.
“Well, I mind,” she said coolly, deciding to reset the tone between them. They weren’t friends and she refused to pretend that they were. “Your attorney said you would only be here for an hour and an hour is all you’re getting.”
He narrowed his gaze at her. Before he had a chance to respond to her statement, Craig raced back into the room carrying several coloring books under his arms.
“Come on, get down on the floor with me to color.”
Without wasting any time and mindless of the expensive suit he was wearing, Jesse stood and took off his jacket. With the agility of a man who made getting down on the floor seem like a common occurrence, Carla watched Jesse join his son on the carpeted floor and although she didn’t want to, she couldn’t help the tears that misted her eyes as she watched the two similar faces drawn together over the open coloring book. It was truly a Kodak moment.
A couple of hours later as Jesse entered his hotel room, closing the door behind him, he could still hear the sound of his son’s laughter ringing in his ears. He’d gone well over the allotted time. He’d known it and Carla had known it. But he’d been having so much fun spending time with his son that in the end she’d had the decency to let things be.
After they’d finished coloring at least three pictures, Craig had wanted to bring out a few of his other toys and in no time at all, the living room had gotten cluttered. Somehow during that time, Carla had managed to sneak out of the room and leave them alone and Craig hadn’t seemed to notice.
When she’d returned and glanced around, Craig had looked at all the toys they’d scattered. He’d then looked at Jesse sheepishly and whispered, “Mommy’s not going to be happy with the mess you made, Daddy.”
At that particular moment Jesse couldn’t do anything but pull his son to him. Craig’s acceptance of him as his father had been the most awarding experience he’d ever encountered. Even now he was still touched and knew he would remember that moment for the rest of his life.
He had just taken his jacket off when there was a knock on the connecting door. Knowing it was Mike, he quickly said, “Come in.”
Mike entered. “How did things go?”
Jesse smiled. “I saw him, Mike, and it’s obvious that he’s mine. And I held him. You don’t know how good that felt. I got nearly three years to make up for and I want to give him everything, especially my name.”
“Did you and Carla get a chance to talk about that?”
Jesse snorted. “No. Although she was cordial, she’s still acting unapproachable and reserved.”
“How else do you expect her to act when she’ll be losing her company to you tomorrow?”
Jesse’s eyes narrowed. “She gave me no choice.”
Mike nodded slowly as he met Jesse’s gaze. “There’s something about that word
choice.
All of us have choices, Jess. Have you taken the time to consider that Carla had a choice of whether or not she wanted to give birth to your son? What if she’d chosen to have an abortion instead?”