He changed into them, and was draping his wet clothes over the chest when Chime walked in.
“Why are you so angry?” Chime demanded. “Did you even see him, he’s practically a fledgling. He’s probably not even fertile yet—”
Moon rounded on him and Chime fell back a step, startled into silence. Gritting his teeth to keep from shifting and biting Chime’s head off, Moon said, “That’s Jade’s problem. I’ll be gone tomorrow and I don’t give a piss what you all do with him.”
Chime just looked bewildered. “Gone tomorrow? What?”
“Tomorrow, the next day, whenever.” Moon couldn’t believe that Tempest would spend one more moment at Indigo Cloud than she absolutely had to, or that Jade and Pearl would let her.
Chime’s jaw dropped and his expression turned appalled. “You can’t leave, not over this! That’s crazy. Moon, it’s not worth it.” He waved a hand in exasperation. “You just don’t understand; it doesn’t mean what you think it does. Just because Jade takes another consort doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you—”
“Stop it,” Moon snapped. It was impossible that Chime didn’t know. But Chime was still staring at him, confused, hurt. “I’m not leaving. They’re taking me to another court. It’s a trade, Chime, me for a new consort.”
“What?” Chime’s expression now clearly said that he thought Moon was out of his mind. “No, you must have misunderstood.”
Hearing it put like that made Moon realize just how badly he wanted it to be a misunderstanding. Watching his face, Chime’s eyes widened. “But—”
“Moon.” It was Jade, standing in the doorway.
Moon stepped away from Chime, looking toward the basin hearth. He had been expecting Jade to appear, but he had no idea what she was going to say to him, or what he wanted to say to her.
Jade said, “Moon, come with me.”
His throat went dry, then he told himself not to be stupid. They couldn’t be leaving now; it was dark, raining. “Where?”
Irritation colored her voice. “To my bower, where do you think?”
Anger boiled, mostly at himself for that moment of fear. As if he had never been a helpless fledgling fighting for his life on a stormy night; this was nothing. He said, “Why? Do you want to make sure I don’t run away?”
Jade’s spines flared as she stepped forward. “Then we’ll talk here. Chime, get out.”
Chime hesitated, but then he fled, slipping out the door.
She came further into the bower and stopped a few paces away. She folded her arms, but her tail was twitching, betraying nerves. “They didn’t know. I told Heart and the others not to speak of it yet. They thought you were angry because I accepted a new consort from Tempest.”
“You didn’t think they’d notice when I left?” Moon didn’t think it would make a difference whether the court knew or not. If the leaders of the Arbora castes weren’t going to make any objection, then it didn’t matter what the warriors thought. Not that he had many friends among the warriors.
The nervous flicking of Jade’s tail turned into an outright lash. “Moon, this is nothing. I’ll appease Opal Night by formally asking for you, and we’ll come home. I promise you—”
Opal Night,
Moon thought. If he had been hoping for a long-buried start of recognition, it didn’t come. The name meant nothing. “If it’s that simple, why did Tempest bring you a consort to replace me?”
“He’s not a replacement!” The words came out as a snarl, and Jade took a deep breath before she continued, “He’s an apology from Emerald Twilight. What happened with Halcyon was embarrassment enough, but when their attempt to make up for it turns into this—”
“You knew they were bringing him. When Tempest came here before, that’s what she told you. You knew…” Moon let the words trail off.
The wristband.
The one he had caught Gold and Merry making. Gold’s embarrassment and Merry’s sly question.
It was a gift for him, the new consort.
It was another twist in his heart.
Jade turned away and paced a few steps toward the hearth. That told Moon everything he needed to know. Her voice low, Jade said, “She came to warn us. I didn’t want to tell you. I wanted to…wait.”
He didn’t ask for what. Of course she wanted to wait to tell him. Better to keep him quiet and obedient and in her bed until the new consort arrived. It wasn’t unprecedented. Every bleak day he had been kicked out of a groundling camp or town was parading through Moon’s memory, every time his willingness to fit in had been taken advantage of, every small betrayal, every time someone had said,
You’re a good worker, but…
Jade’s spines shivered. “Zephyr said Opal Night is a powerful court, the largest in the far west Reaches. She and Tempest haven’t been there. Emerald Twilight hasn’t had trade with them for turns, and Ice sent her messages to them through other courts.” Impatient at his silence, she said, “You aren’t the least bit curious to know your family?”
That was the wrong tack to take.
You’re my family
, he wanted to say. But it didn’t feel true anymore. “No.”
She watched him, her frown deepening. “Why not?”
Moon closed his eyes, forcing the anger down enough to give her a real answer. He had been better off thinking they were all dead, that he was the last remnant of a destroyed court. Now he knew the bitter truth. “Sorrow was carrying four baby Arbora and a fledgling. How far from her colony do you think she got?”
Jade didn’t answer. He opened his eyes, in time to see the flicker of doubt in her expression. She admitted, “Not far.”
“They could have searched. They could have found us. That’s what she was waiting for. She waited turns for them to find us.”
“Maybe they thought there were no survivors. Maybe they gave up.”
“You and Pearl didn’t give up.” When the Fell had taken the old Indigo Cloud colony, trapping most of the court, Jade and Pearl had been determined to free them or die with them.
“Pearl and I didn’t have a mother court to run back to.” Jade hissed out a breath and looked away. “You won’t know their reason unless you ask them.”
“You want me to go.” It was as close as he could come to speaking the thought at the center of the biggest knot of pain in his chest. Jade had said she still wanted a clutch and he believed her. If they had had one by now, they wouldn’t be in this situation. She had to realize the problem was with him, that he could contribute nothing to Indigo Cloud’s future. Turning him out of the court or even out of her bed might have seemed too harsh, especially after the way he had helped them find the stolen seed, and the promises she had made him. But this was a way to be rid of him with a clear conscience.
It would almost be easier if she admitted it. Almost.
But Jade, as if annoyed at his obtuseness, said, “Of course not. Queens don’t give up consorts.”
“Cloud’s queen gave him up. That’s why you’re all here.”
“You know only one story from our history and that’s the second time you’ve thrown it in my face.” Anger hardening her voice again, she said, “I told you, I’ll follow you there, and make them give you back. I won’t leave there without you.”
“Follow me?”
Jade’s jaw set. “Tempest refuses to let me travel with her. She thinks it would only antagonize Opal Night further. But I’ll only be a day behind you.”
He wanted to believe that, so bad it made his bones ache. But he couldn’t; the faith just wasn’t there. “You’ve been lying to me about this for days. Why should I believe you now?”
In the next heartbeat Jade had crossed the space between them and grabbed his shoulders. Her claws pricked his skin through the silky material of his shirt and her face was a tight combination of hurt and fury. “You want me to hurt you so you can hate me? Would that make this easier?”
Moon didn’t flinch. “Nothing could make this easier.”
It was only the heartfelt truth, and Jade’s expression turned stricken. She released him and moved away, staring down at the floor as if it had the answers. After a long moment, she said, quietly, “I promise you, you will be back here as First Consort before the month changes.”
Even as she said it, the overwhelming sense that it wouldn’t happen overcame him. She might believe she was telling the truth, but he knew it wouldn’t come to pass. He said, “When does Tempest mean to leave?”
Jade’s spines flattened. She looked up, brows lowered. “Tomorrow morning, if the rain’s stopped.”
“I’ll be there,” Moon said, and walked past her and out of the room.
He slept in Stone’s empty bower that night. The blankets in the bed still retained a wisp of Stone’s scent, and it made Moon remember that first trip across the mountains and the plains to the old Indigo Cloud colony, when anything had seemed possible.
* * *
When Moon woke, he thought at first it was an ordinary day. While the garden platforms were drying out, he and Jade had had a tentative plan to go flying through the suspended forest with Chime, Balm, and some of the other warriors, if the rain held off.
Rain,
he thought, and remembered.
He lay still, listening, filtering out the faint sounds of movement and voices from elsewhere in the tree, the falling water from the nearest fountains. He couldn’t hear drops drumming on the trunk or branches. If it was raining, it was too light to be heard. Which meant they would be leaving today.
Good,
he told himself, knowing from experience that dragging out his departure would just make it that much worse.
But there were things he had to do first. He dragged himself out of Stone’s bed and dropped to the floor, his head aching and his muscles tense and sore. He felt as tired as if he hadn’t slept at all. He had seen groundlings suffer morning-after illnesses from too much drink or drugs; he hadn’t known you could suffer the same result from too much emotion.
He stumbled out of Stone’s bower and down the passage into the common area, only to discover he had an audience. Balm and Chime sat beside the hearth basin. From the blankets tumbled on the floor, they had slept here. Balm was staring at the heating stones, distracted and unhappy, pulling at a lock of her hair. Chime was huddled blearily beside her, and didn’t look as if he had slept particularly well, either.
They looked up as Moon stopped in the doorway. Balm started to speak, but before she could, Chime surged to his feet and said, “I didn’t know. We didn’t know.”
Moon nodded. It hardly seemed to matter now. “Where’s the new consort?”
Chime hesitated, but Balm pointed to the passage across the way. “Just down there, the third bower along.”
Moon stepped past them and went down the passage.
One of the mentors must have renewed the shell-lights down in this unused section, because it was brighter than Moon remembered. He stopped in the doorway of the third bower. The young consort was awake and sitting on a mat near the hearth basin, wearing the same dark-colored robe he had worn yesterday, without the concealing hood. His arms were folded and his shoulders hunched, though the room itself was warm enough. It was a good-sized bower but bare, empty except for a pile of folded blankets beneath the hanging bed and a small collection of packs and bags shoved against the wall. The place had the signs of a hasty cleaning, with a few stray dead leaves and damp spots left behind. As Moon stepped through the doorway, the consort glanced up, his eyes widening. He pushed to his feet.
He looked as young as Chime had implied, but though his body was almost too slender, his shoulders were broad; Moon thought he was probably past adolescence, if only just. His skin was a lighter bronze than usual for the Aeriat of Indigo Cloud or Emerald Twilight, and his hair was a light gold-brown. Next to him, Moon felt huge and awkward, as if he suddenly had too many bones and they were sticking out in the wrong places.
Moon said, “Who are you?” The young consort stared blankly at him, and Moon clarified, “What’s your name?”
“Uh.” He cleared his throat, and managed to blurt out, “I’m Ember, of Emerald Twilight, of the bloodline of Tempest and Fade.”
Moon hadn’t asked for a pedigree, but it was the way consorts were normally introduced. He supposed it was meant as a compliment that Tempest had handed over a consort from one of her own clutches, but Moon hadn’t had terribly good luck with her offspring so far. “You’re Ash’s clutchmate?”
“No, we’re not—We’re only half—” Ember took a sharp breath, as if bracing himself. “Fade had something wrong with his heart when he was born, and the mentors couldn’t heal it. They said it wouldn’t be passed on to his clutches, so when he was old enough Tempest took him as her second consort so the court wouldn’t lose his bloodline. But he only gave her one clutch before he died.” Ember dropped his gaze, in an agony of self-consciousness. “Just me, and four warriors. But we’re all healthy.”
Moon rubbed his eyes and muttered a curse under his breath.
He might be mature and fertile, but he’s still practically a fledgling
. A pampered and beloved fledgling, probably right up until the moment they tore him away from his brothers and sent him off to a foreign court with a terrible reputation. When Moon was that age, he had been experimenting with passing himself off as a groundling for longer periods of time, under more dangerous circumstances; and learning that he could use sex to get someone to be nice to him, for a while at least. And coming to terms with the fact that no place was entirely safe, that anyone could turn on him.
Weary past bearing, Moon said, “If you don’t want to stay up here alone, take the spiral stair at the west end of this level all the way down to the greeting hall. The hall just below it belongs to the teachers. They always have food there and they’ll take care of you.” He knew the teachers would take care of Ember, once they got a look at him; they had even taken care of Moon when he had first arrived, an unwanted feral solitary. That seemed like it was half a lifetime ago, not just the better part of a turn.
Ember looked up at him, wary but hopeful. Moon turned away, unable to take it a moment more.
He was in the doorway when Ember said, “Shadow said that I shouldn’t be afraid of you.”
Moon stopped. He had a surge of bitter jealousy for Shadow, secure in his court with more clutches than he could probably remember fathering. He said, “Shadow doesn’t know me.”