The Storm Before the Calm (17 page)

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he said, his hand moving down my body. His fist tightened around my cock, thumb working over my slit and down beneath my ridge at the top of each stroke. He brought his other hand up and put two fingers into his mouth. I knew what was coming next, and I wanted it more than anything.

He never missed a beat as he continued to stroke me, his other hand reaching beneath. I felt the blunt end of his fingers massaging gently at my entrance before he pressed one inside. I arched back with the pressure, so full. He moved his finger in and out, and the more I relaxed into him, the more desperate I became. He added a second finger, and when both were buried deep inside me, he moved, changing the angle and hitting something that sent a jolt through me. I panted hard, my eyes rolling back at the sensation. It was so good, and I was getting close. I didn’t think I would ever get enough, but it wasn’t what I needed. I wanted more.

“Max… please. Not like this. I want….”

Max arched his eyebrows in question. I nodded. That response was met with a wide grin.

“Hang on,” he said, getting up and shoving his hands into his pants pockets until he found what he was looking for. He held up the condoms and the small packet of lube with a sheepish look. “I just… wanted to be prepared.”

“I’m glad you were,” I said.

He tore open the packet, pulled the condom out, and, to my surprise, smoothed it over my shaft.

“But I thought… I wanted you to….”

“We got all night, Sparky. I’m trying to ease you into this. That’s all.”

I nodded and bit my lip, pleasure rocking through me as he slid his lubed fist over me. He lay down, pulled me on top of him, and hooked his knees over my hips. I leaned down and kissed him, and he moaned.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I said. He looked up at me, and all I could see in his eyes was trust. Suddenly I was nervous. “What if I hurt you?”

“Just start out slow, okay?” He slid his hands up along my chest, his thumbs gliding over my nipples. “Your body knows what to do, Charlie. Just do what feels good.”

I bit my lip and reached down, aligning the head of my cock with his entrance. I pushed forward, so slow. I held my breath as I breached his body, the tip popping through. All I could hear was my heartbeat in my ears and the sounds coming from Max. A series of moans and heavy breathing met each tiny movement as I pressed farther and farther inside.

“God, Max, it’s so….” I had no words for the way his body seemed to be made for mine, for the warmth and smoothness of him. And then I was all the way in, and it took everything in me not to come right there. I stopped, stilling my body and waiting. Max stared up at me, his lips parted and his eyes shining as he waited, so patiently.

Once I’d regained my composure, I pulled back a fraction of an inch before I thrust forward again. I shuddered with how good it felt. Nothing had ever been like this. Nothing would ever compare to the wet heat of Max’s body. I rocked against him, afraid to move too much. I was so close already.

“Don’t stop,” Max grunted.

He tilted his hips up as I slammed home, my body taking over as I chased my pleasure. Three more thrusts and I was coming, my body convulsing as I emptied into him. I fell forward, our sweat-soaked bodies slick against one another.

When I came down a little from my orgasm, I rolled to the side, not wanting to crush him. He followed me over, kissing me and stroking my belly. I could feel his erection, still full against my hip.

“You didn’t….”

He shook his head. “That’s okay, Charlie. It was amazing anyway, and this was for you. I love watching you come. You’re beautiful when you let go.”

I smiled wickedly at him. “My turn.”

Max didn’t have time to ask me what I meant before I was pulling him on top of me.

“Whoa, Sparky. Not so fast. I don’t want you to be sore.”

“Please, Max,” I begged. “I want to feel what you felt. I want to know what it’s like to have you inside me. Please.”

Max exhaled, his resolve crumbling in an instant. He started us out slow again, kissing and teasing me until I was desperate. When I couldn’t take it any longer, I begged him one last time, and he gave in, sliding between my legs. He gently inserted his lubed fingers inside once more, carefully and slowly stretching me out. When he was satisfied, he wrapped himself in a condom, got into position, and slowly pushed inside.

The sharp burn made my eyes water, and I momentarily tensed, my body reacting to the intrusion. Max kissed me and used his hands on me to steady me, relaxing me once more. He watched me, his gaze trained on me, and then the burn was fading and in its place was this feeling of fullness and a hunger like I’d never experienced before.

I slid my hands along his back, my fingernails catching on his skin as I tried to pull him closer. It was not enough and too much all at once, and I needed
something
.

And then he moved, and my whole world clicked into place. I whimpered, arching my back and rocking with him, our bodies moving together. His right hand wrapped around my shaft, and he stroked me in rhythm with his thrusts. I could feel the pleasure building again deep inside me as he moved, pushing us both toward completion.

Far too soon, my orgasm was impinging on the edges of my mind, and I knew there was nothing I could do to hold it back. I came, spilling hot come over Max’s fist, and moments later he cried out and slumped forward, moaning as he filled me.

I whimpered as he slowly pulled out. I felt abandoned when he stood, walking quickly out of the room. But then he was back and he was cleaning me up with a warm cloth and pulling me into his arms. He held me, stroking my hair and whispering to me, and I smiled, contentment settling into my bones as I fell asleep.

Chapter Twenty

F
OR
THE
second morning in a row, I woke up happy and warm next to Max. His leg was thrown over my hip, pinning me in place, and believe me, I would have paid good money to keep it there forever. He snuffled into the pillow as he slept, his breathing deep but not quite snoring.

I cuddled back in, pulling the covers up tighter around us. It was getting later in the morning, but we didn’t have anywhere to be, classes canceled due to maintenance that needed to be done in some of the rooms. I was so grateful for the break. Lazing around felt great, especially like this. The more time I spent with Max, the harder I fell. I knew it was going to be impossible to leave him when the time came, but what other choice did I have? I wasn’t about to give up the few weeks I had left with him to spare myself any hurt.

Hurt is part of life, and maybe I was a bit masochistic about it, but I was trying to make the most out of what limited time we had left together.

“Charlie, I brought breakfast!”

“Oh shit. ShitfuckGoddamnfuckshit,” I said, scrambling, limbs going everywhere as the panic took hold of me.

“Wha—?” Max asked, sleep-addled and confused.

“My aunt. She’s home earl—”

I didn’t get the last word out before I heard the tapping at my door moments before the handle turned and Ginny opened it, only to stare at us, her eyes wide in shock. She mumbled a flustered apology and slammed the door behind her.

“Shit,” I muttered again. “Stay here.” I pulled my clothes on and ventured out of my room, cheeks flaming and mind racing. I’d not only been outed to her, I’d been outed in the most graphic way possible. The room still smelled like sex, and I was 90 percent certain Max’s ass had been hanging out from beneath the covers when she’d walked in. There was absolutely no questioning what had been going on.

“Ginny?” I called, venturing slowly into the living room. The closer I got, the harder my heart pounded, until I thought I was going to pass out from the thrumming of blood in my ears.

“I’m in here, Sprout.”

Her use of my nickname made me think maybe there was a chance she wasn’t going to kick me out.

I walked into the kitchen like a man on his death-row march to where Ginny was puttering around making tea. I opened my mouth to speak, totally unsure of what I was going to say, but Ginny cut me off.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“
You’re
sorry?” I repeated. It wasn’t what I’d been expecting.

She didn’t look up, still tinkering around the kitchen, refilling the sugar bowl and straightening the boxes of tea on the counter. “I shouldn’t have walked into your room like that. I thought you were sleeping. I brought home cinnamon rolls from the bakery. My conference finished early. The last speaker… her daughter had a baby so she left and the lectures were canceled and so I came home a day early and I should have called first and I shouldn’t have walked in on you like that and I’m so sorry.”

She was speaking so quickly I almost didn’t catch everything she said. I looked at her furiously wiping the counters and realized she was embarrassed, which only made me more embarrassed. But if I had to choose, I would take mortification over anger any day.

“I’m really sorry, Ginny. I shouldn’t have….” I let my words trail off. I didn’t know how to finish the sentence. Brought someone home? Brought a guy home? Had sex in your house?

“No, Charlie. It’s fine.” She took a deep breath and turned to face me, grabbed me by my arms, and looked me in the eye. “Really. Everything is fine.”

My heart slowed a little at the realization she was right. Everything was fine—a little awkward maybe—but the world wasn’t going to fall apart around me.

“We should probably talk later, though, if that’s all right with you.”

“Sure,” I said, attempting to give her a little smile. “Until then, though, could you maybe… uh… not tell my mom about this?”

Ginny shook her head. “Oh, no way am I telling her about this.”

“Thank you.”

“Maybe you should go get your….”

“Boyfriend,” I said. It felt amazing to introduce him to someone as that for the first time. Terrifying and sickeningly nerve-racking, but amazing.

“Yes. Go get your boyfriend. We can have breakfast.”

“Thank you,” I repeated. She was being unbelievably cool about the whole thing.

“But Sprout?”

“Yeah?”

“You were safe, right?”

I nodded, face aflame once more. “Of course.”

“Good. Now go get your guy.”

W
HEN
I
got back to my room, Max was dressed and looking concerned.

“Everything okay?” he asked as soon as I’d walked through the door.

“Yeah, I think it will be.”

“I take it she didn’t know.”

I shook my head.

He pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

“I’m proud of you. I know this wasn’t a conscious decision you made to come out to your family, but it’s a difficult thing, no matter what the result is. I take it she’s okay with it?”

“She wants you to come have breakfast with us.”

Max beamed. “Great. I’m starving.”

And just like that, my secret little world became a little less secret.

M
AX
FOLLOWED
me out. Shaking Ginny’s hand, he introduced himself once we entered the kitchen. Ginny had transferred the cinnamon rolls over to a plate, which I carried to the table. Max took the jug of orange juice from her hands and followed me out while Ginny brought plates and napkins.

We all sat down, and for a moment, no one spoke. The quiet stretched out between us, making the situation more and more uncomfortable with each second that ticked by. Finally, Ginny broke the silence.

“Max, are you a dancer?”

“I am. I’m a junior instructor for the summer intensive, but during the year I’m a normal company member.”

“And you’ve seen Charlie dance?”

“Yes! He’s incredible.”

And with that, Max and Ginny became fast friends, spending the next half hour talking about me. Ginny did the job of a stand-in parent well, telling embarrassing stories from when I was little. I was actually somewhat shocked she didn’t bust out the baby photos. Max held my hand under the table, and Ginny pretended not to notice, and somehow the situation felt almost normal.

When we’d finished breakfast Max cleared the dishes, stacking them in the dishwasher, a move I was sure was meant to endear him more to my aunt than anything else, but I was grateful for it. He’d been wonderful with Ginny, and after a short meal together it felt like he fit in as one of the family.

“What did you boys have planned for today?” Ginny asked, putting the juice back in the fridge.

“Not a lot, really,” I said. “The studio’s closed today, and besides, we thought we’d take the day off from dancing because we’ve made so much progress with the piece for OutShine.”

“OutShine?”

I realized I hadn’t filled Ginny in on what Max and I were doing.

“Yeah,” Max said enthusiastically. “Every year, Free Rein does a performance during the festival at the end of the summer. This year, in addition to a group number, Charlie and I have been rehearsing something of our own. It’s good, if I do say so myself.”

“Max is an incredible choreographer,” I interjected.

“Thank you,” Max said, smiling at me.

“That will be wonderful. Is it okay if I come?”

“You’d want to come?” I asked, surprised.

“Of course. Any chance to see you perform, Sprout, and I’m going to jump at it.”

“Sprout?” Max mouthed at me when Ginny’s back was turned.

I chuckled.

“I’d love it if you were there,” I said. And I meant it. I’d always loved Ginny. She felt more like an older sister than an aunt. When I was younger, I’d thought of her as a kind of conspiratorial cohort. But in the last hour, she’d become so much more to me. As the first person in my family to accept me for who I was, I felt closer to her than I ever had before. It gave me hope.

I didn’t hope too hard, though. New York seemed to be a lot more liberal and accepting than Beacon was. Maybe I could be out in New York and in when I returned home. Maybe making the most of my time with Max meant also being myself openly while I was here.