The Suicide Project (Rebirth Book 1) (19 page)

I’m not sure what woke me up this time, but it wasn’t Kyrie. Rubbing my eyes, I looked towards her bed and saw a slight lump beneath her covers. I heard the slow cadence of her breathing and knew she was sound asleep. It was dark in our room except for Kyrie’s night light. The digital clock on my night stand read 1:15am. Stretching, I rolled over onto my other side and tried to go back to sleep. After about 10 minutes of shifting restlessly into different positions, I realized I was parched and couldn’t go back to sleep unless I got a drink of water.

Sitting up in bed, I debated what to do. At the old barracks, if I was thirsty all I had to do was go into the Common Room and grab a drink from the fridge. We didn’t have a mini fridge in our room, and I was funny about drinking water from the bathroom sink. Something about it being too close to the toilet grossed me out. Seeing no way around it, I decided to sneak out to the Mess Hall to grab some water. I remembered that there was a drink dispenser along one wall. It was cool because it was exactly like those self-serve beverage stations you always see at fast food restaurants. They had iced tea, water, and six different flavors of soft drinks.

Slipping out of bed, I tip toed to my closet and pulled out the soft pink slippers I had seen earlier. Slipping them on my feet, I felt kind of goofy wearing them because they had bunny ears, but they had been a present from my older brother from several years ago. I hadn’t actually started wearing them until the year he passed away.

Opening the bedroom door as quietly as I could so as not to disturb Kyrie, I crept into the hallway and slowly eased the door closed. The hallway was brightly lit and I had to rapidly blink my eyes in order to adjust to the glare. As I walked down the hallway, I saw the camera at the end panning in my direction, so I waved to it and mimicked holding a glass and tilting it up to drink from it before rubbing my tummy. Then I flashed the thumbs up sign at the camera and went on my way. I kind of sucked at charades and sincerely hoped that whoever was watching me got the gist of what I was trying to say. I came in peace and only wanted water. Self-consciously, I smoothed my long hair back over my shoulders thinking I probably should’ve run a brush through my hair before leaving my room. Walking quickly, I figured the sooner I got my drink and went back to my room, the less likely I’d get in trouble for leaving it in the first place.

As I turned down the second corridor that led to the entrance of the Mess Hall, I stepped through and came to an abrupt stop. I wasn’t expecting to see anyone at all since it was way past midnight, so it came as quite a shock when I saw that one table had occupants; three of them to be exact. All guys. I stood there staring at them wondering what they were doing awake. Not only that, but they also seemed to be drinking coffee if my sense of smell was accurate.

As I stood there debating if I should get my water or if I should just turn around and go back to my room, one of the guys stood up and held his hand out to me in the universal hand gesture to “stop”. Studying him, he didn’t look particularly threatening so I decided to wait and see what he wanted. “Hi there. We were wondering if you were ever going to come out of your room.” As he slowly and cautiously started to approach me, he simultaneously raised both hands in the air in front of him as if in surrender.

Staring at him curiously, I asked, “What are you doing that for? I’m not holding a gun.”

I heard a couple of snickers from the other two guys at the table behind him. Grinning crookedly in embarrassment, he explained, “I just didn’t want to spook you and have you go running back to your room before we got the chance to talk to you. I’m Logan by the way.” Logan slowly extended his hand in my direction, waiting to see if I’d shake it or not.

Considering it, I decided this guy was too polite to be one of the “troublemakers” that Sergeant Kami had been griping about earlier. Seeing no harm in it, I held out my hand for him to shake. He held my hand warmly in between both of his for a few brief seconds before releasing me. The smile he gave me was a genuinely happy one. Logan looked to be about the same age as me, if not older. He had dark brown hair, a stubbly jaw, and kind eyes.

As soon as the other two guys saw that I had accepted Logan’s handshake, they both scrambled to their feet and practically tripped over each other in their haste to introduce themselves to me as well.

A cute younger guy with black hair elbowed Logan aside and reached out to shake my hand next. “Hi! I’m Gabe. Nice to officially meet you, Teagan.” Gabe seemed to be multi-racial and I studied his features, trying to make out his nationality. Whatever he was, he was super cute and had really nice eyes. My gaze landed on the third guy as he stepped slightly in front of Gabe and reached for my hand. Grasping it delicately in his, he lifted it up to press a light kiss onto the back of my hand as his eyes twinkled flirtatiously. “I’m Cassidy.
Very
nice to meet you, Teagan,” He was really tall and had a deep voice to match. His skin was the color of coffee with a lot of cream, and my eyes drifted up to admire his completely bald, shiny head. I had to admit that I found bald-headed guys attractive and agreed with the sentiment, “Bald is Beautiful”. It suited Cassidy well.

As I stood there and glanced from one face to the other, I decided that I was slightly uncomfortable with all the attention I was getting and gently tugged my hand out of his grasp. I discreetly tried to wipe the back of my hand on my pajama pants before I crossed my arms over my chest in a defensive stance. “Why were you waiting for me to come out of my room? And what made you so sure I was going to come out of it tonight anyways?”

Logan was quick to answer, and said, “When Sergeant Ramsey mentioned you suffered from insomnia sometimes, he said that you’re most active around the 1am hour. We didn’t know for sure you’d come out…we were just hoping. We’ve already been waiting here for an hour.”

“Why?” I demanded, still on my guard. After all, they seemed nice so far but I still knew nothing about them.

“We just wanted to ask you a couple of questions about the project if you could spare the time.” Gabe shot a hopeful look at me before adding, “Why don’t you go grab your water and then we can sit down and talk? I promise that we won’t take too much of your time. We all have to be up early tomorrow after all.” I did a double-take at Gabe, wondering how he knew I was searching for water.

I nodded my head in agreement though, curious about what they wanted to talk to me about. I headed over to the beverage station and grabbed a tall plastic cup from the stack of reusable dining ware. Filling it up with ice cold water, I stood there and greedily drank the whole thing before refilling it all the way back to the top.
I was really thirsty.
Turning around to join the others at their table, I saw with bemusement that all three were watching me like a hawk.

As I took the empty seat next to Gabe, I saw him look towards the ground before he grinned and said, “Nice slippers.”

Tucking them beneath me, I took another sip of water before mumbling, “Thanks.” I then raised my voice and looked them each in the eye before saying, “Okay…you guys get three questions tonight. That’s a total of three, not three questions each in case you were wondering. That’s all I’m in the mood to answer tonight, so make them count. Go.” I stared at them expectantly and waited for the first question to land. They looked surprised at my 3-question limit, but I noticed that they didn’t argue with me.

Logan scrambled to fill the void, and asked the first question. “We all know that you and the other two guys in your unit have all gotten 2 DNA injections so far. Do you feel any different? Is the transformation process painful?”

I raised an eyebrow. “That’s 2 questions. You’re lucky they go hand in hand. Yes, I feel different. I feel awesome. Stronger. More flexible. The feeling is indescribable but in a
good
way. As far as the transformation process goes, the only painful part is the tiny prick of the needle when they inject the serum into you. You don’t feel anything else except for the feeling of getting stronger in the following days to come. But as you’ve pointed out, I’ve only had two injections. I don’t know how I’ll feel after my third or fourth injection. I’m assuming things may change dramatically. Next question.” I glanced at Gabe and Cassidy to see who’d go next.

Cassidy cleared his throat before asking his question. “Why do you have such blind faith in Sergeant Ramsey and do
everything
he demands of you without question?” Cassidy’s tone of voice wasn’t accusatory in any way, he was honestly curious and puzzled as to why we were so loyal and respectful to our unit leader.

I took a minute to consider his question before answering. “What’s the alternative? I know
why
I’m here. I take full responsibility for the actions that landed me in this place to begin with. I’ve forgiven myself and come to peace with the fact that I can’t change the past, nor do I want to. In no way do I view myself as a victim in all of this. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m considered “government property”. Yes, we are part of an experimental project, but don’t forget that we are all expendable test subjects. What do you think is going to happen to you if they decide you’re not fit to be in the program anymore? They saved our lives and gave us all a second chance, but what makes you think they can’t easily take it all away if they decide someone is too unstable or unfit to continue? So, yes… I’m loyal to Sergeant Ramsey because he saved me. He took a chance on me. And he gave me a new family when he introduced me to Gideon and Sam. Because of that, I’m not alone anymore so I can’t help but feel anything other than grateful and respectful to my unit leader. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m perfect for this program because I had nothing left to lose in my old life. No way in hell do I want to go back to the way things were before I arrived here. The past is the past. My new life is here and I intend to make the most of it.”

The Mess Hall was completely silent as they contemplated my answer. Cassidy seemed satisfied with my response though, because the corners of his mouth twitched as he regarded me with admiration.

“Last and final question,” I said as I looked towards the youngest member of the trio. Gabe looked torn, so I assumed there was more than one question he wanted to ask. Grinning, I teased, “Tick Tock. You have five seconds to ask your question or forever hold your peace, because I’m going back to sleep whether you like it or not.”

The other two chuckled, as they waited to see if Gabe could spit his question out in time. Logan gently shoved his shoulder, as he urged, “Hurry up!

“Fine! I’ve got one! Do you miss anything from your old life at all?” he said.

There was no hesitancy on my part as I answered with complete honesty. “Not one bit because everyone I love is gone. There’s nothing and no one left worth going back to. I’m happier here than I have been for the past year in my previous life. That’s the truth.” There was a few seconds of silence on my part before I quickly re-iterated my earlier statement. “Oh wait! I’m sorry, I lied. I
do
severely miss Thai food…like, with a vengeance. Last week, I had a crazy craving for chicken pad thai, fried calamari, and thai iced tea. Oh, and coconut ice cream for dessert. I eat pretty healthy here but I’ll always have love for Thai Food.” I grinned at Gabe, seeing the disappointment on his face at my answer. I knew he was referring to whether or not I missed things from my
life,
but I didn’t feel like dwelling on my past so my answer to him was purposely obtuse.

Trying to placate him a little, I added, “In case you wondered what I
don’t
miss, I’ll run down a little list for you. I don’t miss afternoon traffic on the commutes home. I don’t miss having to worry about parking tickets when I go shopping in Seattle. I don’t miss driving in the rain or snow, because where I come from, during inclement weather the roads get packed with all the stupid drivers. I never have to worry about Jury Duty ever again! That’s cause for celebration right there by the way. I don’t miss paying taxes, and I don’t have to worry about paying bills ever again! No more student loans to pay off! What’s
not
to like about any of that? If you want my opinion, I think we’ve got it pretty good here. Does that put things in perspective for you a little?” I smothered a grin as I saw three slack jaws. They seemed riveted on me as they listened to my little speech.

“Times up. Going back to bed now.” Abruptly rising from the table, I picked up my cup of water and turned to head back to my room, calling over my shoulder, “It was nice meeting you guys! I’ll see you three tomorrow in the Gym. Make sure to bring your A games. No half-assing it either. I
will
be watching.” As I walked away, I saw that all three guys were grinning at me with expressions that looked close to adoration.
Hmmm. I think I found my Fan Club.

As I walked quickly back down the hallway, I estimated that I couldn’t have been gone for more than 20 minutes but I wondered why none of the sergeants or so-called “Security Detail” had arrived to herd us back to our rooms. I knew we were being watched in the Mess Hall because I distinctly heard the whirring noises of the cameras panning in our direction. I had done a subtle camera count and saw that there were at least five cameras placed in various positions throughout the Mess Hall. Reflecting back on the guys I just met, I decided that I liked them. They were cute and charming, but I had to watch out for the flirty ones for fear of unintentionally leading anyone on. I wasn’t in the market for any illicit romance. To be truthful, I was still pretty pissed over the situation with Kyle and didn’t feel like I could let down the barriers around my heart any time soon. My wounds ran deep and I considered myself “damaged goods”. I did, however, concede that I was perfect “buddy material” and I felt satisfied that I may have made three new buddies tonight. Nevertheless, it was too early to tell whether or not I could trust them.

As I placed my hand over the scanner and let myself into the room, I saw that one half of the room was flooded with a soft light. Glancing up, I saw that Kyrie was sitting up in bed rubbing her eyes. As she heard the click of the door closing, she looked up and I saw the worry in her eyes. “I got up to use the bathroom and saw that your bed was empty. I was worried and didn’t know where you went, Teagan!” she complained. Yawning widely, she struggled to keep her eyes open as she regarded me with a little fear in her eyes. “I was afraid you weren’t going to come back.”
Hmm…she’s a little too old for separation anxiety, isn’t she?