The Suicide Project (Rebirth Book 1) (22 page)

“Time!” Doc Duffy and Jamie both called out to Sam and Gideon, but neither one of them stopped hooping. They grinned in my direction as they continued singing and hooping along with me. I got that warm fuzzy feeling in my chest as they demonstrated yet again that we were a true team, and if one of us suffered, then we all suffered together. Sergeant Ramsey had stopped dancing and was just standing there frowning at me. “Time,” he finally grumbled. I laughed at him as I let my hoop drop to the floor. Rubbing my abs, I snorted, “Ouch!” That finally caused him to crack a smile and I gave him a high-five for being a good sport.

“You’ve got some fierce dance moves, boss man!”

“It was my goal to keep you here until lunch was over,” he griped.

“You see, that was your first mistake right there. When food is at stake it’s a
huge
motivator for me.”

“That was fun!” Sam was still tickled over the fact that Sergeant Ramsey learned the entire dance in an effort to seemingly connect with us. I had to admit, it earned him brownie points with the three of us, but then again I always thought he was a pretty cool dude to begin with. He led the way towards the exit and we all glanced at the others as we passed by. They had moved on to squats and lunges and my gaze zeroed in on Kyrie out of concern. She was all sweaty but seemed otherwise okay. Catching my eye, she shot me a brave smile and a thumbs up. I winked at her and followed my group outside, wondering when she was going to get to eat lunch.

As we re-entered the Mess Hall, I darted off to my room to switch into a clean dry tank top before sitting down to eat. I scarfed down my huge salad with diced chicken breast in record time, and contentedly sat rubbing my belly as I waited for the guys to finish. The Sergeant told us what time he’d be back to get us and we all started walking to the door as it approached that time. All our aches from this morning’s workouts were already gone and we were eager to see what we’d be doing for the second half of the day. But instead of turning left towards the Gym, Sergeant Ramsey led us to a smaller building on the right. We entered a hallway where a bench rested along one of the walls. That’s where we were directed to sit as Sergeant Ramsey quickly excused himself, saying he’d be back in a jiffy.

The three of us looked at each other questioningly, wondering what he was up to this time. My ears strained as I picked up the sound of clicking nails on tile. My head whipped in the direction that Sergeant Ramsey had disappeared to, only to see him reappear holding a leash that was attached to a large puppy. I gasped and stared at the dog with hope as it stopped right in front of me and sniffed my hand. Suddenly, its little butt started swaying with the force of its tail-wagging as it jumped up to lick my face. I laughed and wiped my chin as I looked up. “Seriously?? Is he really mine?”

When he nodded in affirmation, I squealed with excitement and did a happy dance. “Nurse Jamie told me that you wanted a dog, and your request actually came at the perfect time because we had planned to give him to you all along anyways. He just turned 10 weeks old.”

I was ecstatic over the dog but still curious enough to question why. He cleared his throat and looked hesitant, as if he didn’t want to explain his reasoning. Finally, he said, “It kind of has to do with another side project we have goin’ on at the moment. We wanted to see if you two would develop an instant bond, and we want to observe whether or not you’d be able to work well together on potential future missions. The data the scientists collect from this project will go a long way in helpin’ future program participants.”

As I continued staring blankly at him, he huffed out an impatient breath. “You share the same DNA.”

“You gave me puppy blood?! What breed of dog is he?” I was a little scared of what the sergeant might be trying to imply. I had no idea what any of this meant.

“He’s a Great Dane and you share the same blood from his mother.”

This little cutie is a Great Dane….and I share blood from his mother?
Hmmph.
I wasn’t really sure how I felt about that and I darted a quick look at it worriedly. I remembered that the sergeant said I had canine DNA in me, but I hadn’t really given much thought to specific breeds. Well, the mystery was solved now because apparently I had some Great Dane in me. Seeing the expression on my face, Sergeant Ramsey was quick to explain, “He’s all yours to love and care for. We just want to be able to observe the interaction between you two on live cam. That’s all. One of our scientists is the owner of this little guy’s mother. You received a sample of her DNA that we mixed with yer Black Panther and Mako Shark DNAs right when you first arrived. About one month after you got here, we found out that Roxy was pregnant. She gave birth to a litter two months later and we’ve been takin’ care of this little guy here for ya ever since. It had always been our intention to gift him to you. You have no idea how weird it was when Jamie told me you asked fer a puppy. I thought she was yankin’ my chain! Ya hafta admit that it’s a spooky coincidence.” Putting myself in his shoes, I could only nod my head in agreement.

“What’s his name?” I was worried that someone might have already named him, or worse, that it was something stupid that I’d be forced to get used to. It came as a happy surprise when he said, “He doesn’t have one yet. I told ya he’s yours, so you get the honor of namin’ him.” I couldn’t have been more pleased with his answer.

The whole time that Sergeant Ramsey was explaining the situation to me, the puppy hadn’t stopped wagging his tail or wiggling his body against my leg. Eyeing him, I noticed how big he was for a puppy and realized with a jolt that he was going to grow much, much bigger. As I finally accepted that he was truly mine, I sat down cross legged on the hallway floor and laughed delightedly when my new dog tried to sit down on my lap. He was a beautiful gray color, and his coat was glossy and soft. Rubbing his floppy ears, I kissed the top of his head and declared, “I’m going to name him Mercer!”

Sam sank down next to me and scratched behind Mercer’s ears, smiling at my obvious happiness to be gifted with this gorgeous beast. “Mercer is kind of an unusual name for a dog. How’d you come up with it?”

“The last time my family all had dinner together as a group, was when we had gone to our favorite Thai restaurant in Seattle, which is located on Mercer Street. That dinner happened the day before my parents left for vacation so it was the last time I had seen them alive. I like the sound of “Mercer” for the name of a dog. And of course when I think of Mercer Street, I think of my family, so I think this is the perfect name to go with.” Snuggling the top of his head as I hugged him, I cooed in baby talk, “What do you think, baby? Do you like the name Mercer? I think you do! You sure look like a Mercer to me!”

Sam was chuckling at me, but I glanced over at Gideon when I realized I hadn’t heard a peep from him since the moment Sergeant Ramsey had led Mercer to me. Turning around to glance at him over my shoulder, I noticed that Gideon was frozen, his eyes bulging in horror. His forehead was shiny with perspiration and both of his fists were balled up tightly on his lap.

Sergeant Ramsey was the first to notice Gideon’s reaction to the dog, because he was already studying Gideon with a worried expression.

“Oh no,” I groaned sadly. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of dogs.” This was definitely going to put a crimp on things.

He just nodded his head frantically as he stared at the puppy. He definitely looked panicked, as if he wanted to bolt but was too afraid to move. “How bad is it?” I whispered to him. When I climbed to my knees in front of Gideon, Mercer eagerly pressed up to my right side in an effort to remain close to me, which unfortunately put his head practically on Gideon’s left knee. When I heard Gideon’s breathing start to get choppy, I quickly asked Sam to take Mercer’s leash and lead him down the hall a little ways.

Mercer didn’t want to leave my side and started pulling on the leash. Sergeant Ramsey had to go over and help Sam. I put my hands on Gideon’s face in an attempt to get him to focus on me since he couldn’t seem to pry his eyes off of the dog. Once his eyes met mine, I talked to him soothingly and tried to get him to calm down. “Nice, big, deep breaths Gideon. Come on, don’t hyperventilate on me. You’re fine. Everything is fine. You’re safe. Everything is going to be okay.” I had to repeat myself several times because Gideon seemed to be in some sort of a trance, and what I was saying to him wasn’t registering. He finally snapped out of it after a few minutes and seemed to realize where he was and what had happened.

When he tried to look over my shoulder for Mercer, I glanced back too and saw that Sam seemed to be sitting on the floor and was probably tightly hugging the dog. I could only see one of his knees and the toe of his sneaker. Sergeant Ramsey was standing directly in front of Sam to block our actual view of Mercer, but we could all hear whimpers and whines coming from that direction.

“I’m sorry,” Gideon mumbled, as his head lowered to focus on his clenched fists still resting on the tops of his knees. I sat down beside him on the bench and put my arm around his shoulders. Gently, I started to massage the back of his neck to ease some of his tension. His eyes drifted shut from my soothing touch, but I had a feeling it was out of shame from his reaction, rather than pleasure from my light massage. “Don’t you dare apologize for something that you’ve got no control of. Lots of people are afraid of dogs. It’s not the end of the world Gideon. We’ll get through this.”

Gideon looked like he was on the verge of crying when he glanced at me. I didn’t press for answers though. I simply sat there with my arm around his shoulder, waiting for him to collect himself. I figured something traumatic must have happened to him to cause this level of fear. “Is it going to be difficult for you to be in the same room with Mercer?” I whispered.

“I don’t know…I don’t want it to be!” He exhaled a frustrated breath. “I didn’t always used to be afraid of dogs. It’s something I just developed over the past three years. My mom’s boyfriend, Cody, had two Rottweilers and they were horrible dogs. He lived with us, so his dogs lived at the house too. My mom and Cody were both drug addicts and were high on heroine or cocaine the majority of the time. But when they were high, they were also really mean. My mom thought it was funny when Cody’s dogs attacked me. They were undisciplined and vicious. I think they could tell that I was afraid of them because they always growled at me when they saw me. Every now and then, they would attack me for no reason, and every time it happened no one lifted a finger to help me. Cody yelled at me to be a man, but he got pissed once when I kicked one of them out of self-defense. Luckily, because I was fast, I was always able to break free and run when they did attack.”

My eyes drifted over the faint scars on his forearms that looked suspiciously like dog bites. I hadn’t noticed them before and was appalled that his own mother didn’t do anything to stop that abusive treatment. “Oh Gideon…that’s horrible. What an awful man your mom hooked up with.”

Once Gideon began talking, he couldn’t stop. I think Mercer was the catalyst for him to unleash his story. “He wasn’t the only awful one. My whole family is horrible. I’m the youngest of four, and I have three older brothers who are all bullies and delinquents.” Shooting me a rueful look, he added, “We also all come from a different father. My brothers all have records with the law and have been in and out of jail for various things. Robbery, drug possession, assault and battery, illegal possession of firearms, etc…Take your pick. They come and go without warning and they’re all just as hateful and mean as Cody is. We’ve been living off of Welfare for as long as I can remember. I’m ashamed of the family that I come from. The only person I loved and respected was my grandmother, and she already passed away.”

At the mention of his beloved grandmother, Gideon sniffled and wiped at a stray tear. “When she was still alive, she tried to protect me by arguing with my mom that the environment she was raising me in was unsafe. My grandmother wanted me to live with her, but my mom wouldn’t allow it. Not as long as I was a minor anyways. My grandmother and my mom fought all the time when I was younger and Grandma finally disowned my mom when I turned 12. I was the only grandchild allowed to come visit her, and whenever I visited, she always made sure to feed me nourishing meals. She showered me with the love and affection that my own mother was incapable of giving me. When I was 17, Grandma knew I was really suffering at home, but she would hug me and tell me to hang in there and that soon everything would get much better. She passed away from natural causes two months before I turned 18.”

Gideon’s face crumpled in grief and he buried his face in his hands as he succumbed to his tears. He tried to turn sideways away from me so that I wouldn’t witness him crying, but of course, I wouldn’t allow him to hide from me. I stood up and slipped on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and just letting him cry. His body was rigid as he resisted me at first, but then after a few moments, his body relaxed and he wrapped his arms around my back tightly. I could feel the wetness from his tears on the front of my tank top, and I murmured soothing words in his ear as I rubbed his upper back. After a few brief moments, he raised his head and I saw the pain in his eyes as he regarded me with misery.

“I thought everything was going to be different after I turned 18, and that I’d finally be free to live with her. I had just finished high school, and it was a relief to be done with that place because everyone treated me with indifference, or sometimes with disgust. My family had a bad reputation because of my older brothers, so everyone assumed I was a lost cause like them. It was hard to make friends, and I got bullied a lot because everyone knew my mother was a slut who slept with random guys for money in order to buy her drugs. Even more disgusting than that, was that Cody was okay with all of it as long as he got his drugs. Some of my teachers pitied me; I could see it in their eyes. I was smart though and got good grades, so I thought I could start all over with a brand new life when I went to college and got away from my family. Before Grandma died, she told me that she was transferring a little bit of money into a personal account for me that my family couldn’t touch. She said she wanted me to have a good life. She wanted me to get all the things that I deserved but had been denied to me.”