The Summer of Me & You (15 page)

He brought it to his lips, rested it between them. My attention always diverted to his lips. “Don't worry,” he said. “I'm not gonna smoke it. I know how much you hate it.”

I squinted my eyes. “Then what's the point?”

He ignored the question. He moved to me again, his proximity putting me on edge. If he didn't kiss me soon, I was going to explode from the inside out.

Kaleb pushed back the strands of my hair, his eyes gazing in to mine. He mumbled, the cigarette still dangling in between his lips. “I don't think you should feel about a film. You should feel about a woman, not a movie. You can't kiss a movie.” He took a pretend drag of his cigarette.

“What?” I asked.

“Godard,” he said, exhaling the fake smoke.

“In love—” I smiled at him, “—women are professionals, men are amateurs.
Truffaut
.”

He grinned, realizing I was able to keep up with him after all. Our score was even. A part of me began to think he was tempting me, seeing how far he could go. Yeah, he knew I liked him. He wanted me to give in first, to kiss him first. But oh no, I wasn't going to. Kaleb would definitely lose at this.

“Looks like I'll be the amateur. I can live with that.” Pretending to be mildly insulted, he said, “You shouldn't underestimate me though.”

“
Never
,” I mocked.

He stood to his feet. Yanking the cigarette out of his mouth, he walked backwards, keeping his eyes on me. “You're right, you know.”

“About what?” I gazed up at him.

“Maybe I
should
quit. It'd be worth it.”

I smiled.

Kaleb flicked his cigarette into the bush, glowing the whole way home.

***

Mom allowed me to see Kaleb on the weekends and the days when she was home, but the rules were we could only see each other during the daylight hours and I wasn't allowed to hang out with him all day. But she made sure to remind me how she felt about him.

“I don't like that boy, Kayleigh. He's from the wrong side of town. He's nothing but trouble.”

“Mom, he's really nice,” I told her, loading the dishwasher.

“Aren't they all. That's how it is in the beginning. Until they aren't anymore.” She sighed, like she was having memories. “I can see why you'd like him. You're attracted to his rebellious bad boy persona. But he's not good for you. I've seen that kind before, Kayleigh. He's the kind the leaves you pregnant and skips town without so much as a goodbye.”

“Mom, Kaleb isn't dad. And we're not—
doing
that.” He hadn't even kissed me yet.

“You better not be having sex with that boy. You two spend a little too much time together.”

And it was then when I realized that while Kaleb and I had been having a lot of fun together, he'd alluded to very sexual things. And me? I couldn't even watch that boy smoke a cigarette or eat an ice cream cone without my mind going to the gutter. If this progressed between us the way I wanted it to,
I could be his girlfriend soon. Which was a great thing, really. But Kaleb would have expectations. Sexual expectations. What would I do then?
 

But there wasn't too much to worry about, right?—he couldn't be that serious about me, could he? We hadn't even gone on an official date yet.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

“Go out with me...”

*

Kaleb ran through my backyard with urgency, hopping over the lawn chair, and knocking over my mom's plant in the process. I laughed. Why was he in such a hurry? He stopped, momentarily, to stand her plant back up, making sure it was okay, then he dashed off again. My eyes darted, following him as he flew through the back door, nearly exasperated.

“Go out with me,” he said, pressing his palms against the door frame like he was trying to hold himself up.

I laughed. “What!”

“Go,” he enunciated, “—out with me.”

“That sounds like a command, Kaleb. Why don't you try asking me first? I grinned.

“Because. I'm not taking any chances of you saying no.”

“I don't quite grasp your logic. I could still say no even though you've commanded it.”

“Well, let's see if I can explain.” His arms dropped away from the door frame and he walked closer to me.

“Mhm, please do. I'm intrigued.”

“It lowers the probability of your answer being no, because I didn't leave no as an option. For example, if I'd said,
Kayleigh will you go out with me?
—then that leaves only two options—yes or no. See, the first thing you're immediately going to do is say
no
because you don't want to give yourself a chance to actually have any fun, but then you'll spend the rest of your day wondering why you didn't say
yes.
So I'm doing both of us a favor here, because when I say
Go out with me
you're going to immediately think
Wow, that's such an amazing idea. Why didn't I think of this myself?
And your reply will be
Yes, Kaleb, I would love to go out with you
, because now you're going to think it was really your idea all along.” He smiled.

I nearly fell off the kitchen counter laughing.

“And—” his eyes glided up from beneath his dark lashes to meet mine. “—it was a request.”

“Exactly how long did it take you to think of this brilliant idea?” I asked.

“So, is that a
yes
I hear?”

“No,” I laughed.

He stepped closer to me, placing his hands on either side of the kitchen counter where I sat, enclosing us in a small space. His action silenced my laughter, making the moment more serious. He gazed up at me, his fingers inching closer to mine. I gripped the counter.

“Just one date,” he tried to compromise. “If you don't like it, you never have to do it again. I swear. It's just that easy.”

How could I say no?

“And I never have to do it again, right?”

“Yes—Just once.”

“Well—” I pretended to ponder it for a second. “I guess it wouldn't hurt,” I smiled.

“How about Friday night?” he said, enthused.

“I'll be here,” I told him.

“Sure hope so.”

I playfully shoved him away. “Now get outta here before you wake up my mother. You're rowdy.”

He smirked. “Wouldn't wanna do that.”

“Nope.”

Kaleb slowly backed away.

“See ya,” I said.

“Can't wait for it, Kayleigh.” He twisted around on his heel and headed back out the door. He glanced at me through the kitchen window, smiled once, then jogged off.

When he was gone, I hopped down off the counter, elated.
Did that just happen?
 

I'd never been on a date before. And this was a date with Kaleb. I began to wonder where he'd take me. What should I wear? Would the night end in a kiss?

Friday wasn't even here yet and I was already nervous. The scariest part?

I had to tell mom I was going on a date with Kaleb, at night, when she'd be at work. She'd
never
agree to it.
 

The next afternoon as she was getting ready for work, I stood in the bathroom doorway watching her powder her face. I wondered if guys really liked that sort of thing. I hated makeup. Didn't like the way it felt on my face. But I thought I could paint my fingernails a pretty color so if he reached for my hand he'd notice. If guys even noticed those sorts of things.

“Mom, can I borrow some nail polish?”

“Maybe. What do you need it for?”

“My nails.” What else did she think I needed it for?

“Kayleigh, the obvious one,” she said, sliding open her nail polish drawer.

Mom,
I thought,
the moronic one.
Seriously? What else could I do with the nail polish? That was a stupid question. Of course, I'd never say that aloud.
 

Mom had so much nail polish. A color for every occasion. Didn't know why she had so much. She never wore any of it and she didn't go on any dates either. I searched in the drawer for a color I liked, a color I could see myself comfortably wearing. When I found the sky blue bottle, I knew I'd found the perfect shade.
Yes!
This was exactly what I wanted. I closed the drawer back.
 

“You can keep that one,” she said. “Never did like blue.”

“Thanks.” I turned around to go to my room, but mom said. “Kayleigh?”

“Yeah?”

“If you're going out with Kaleb Friday night, you should buy something new to wear. Girls should always wear a new outfit on their first date.” She reached into her wallet and handed me three ten dollar bills.

“Thirty dollars? Really?” I didn't understand the sudden change in her. “And you know I'm going on a date with him?”

“Of course I do, Kayleigh. You don't have to tiptoe around the subject anymore. That's why you came up here, isn't it?” She glanced at me. I always felt like I was under constant scrutiny in her presence. That I'd never measure up.

“When you were out with Gunner, he stopped by and politely asked if he could come over and ask you out on a date. He wanted to know if I'd be okay with it.”

Wow, he'd asked
her
before he asked
me
? He wasn't afraid of
anything.
 

“And you're okay with it?”
 

“No,” she tossed her powder pack over in her bag, “I'm not okay with it. But I guess you'll just have to find out for yourself why I don't want you around him. You're hard headed and telling you isn't going to do much good.”

That was like a slap to the face. The only reason she'd “agreed” to the date was because she thought he'd disappoint me, upset me, hurt me in some way. More than that, she
wanted
him to. She was looking forward to it, which is why she'd given me money and let me borrow her polish.
 

“Still don't like him. I'm only giving him a chance for you. If he screws this up—”

Which is what
she
expected from him, I didn't. “—He won't, mom. I told you. He's different.”
 

She gave a weak smile and kissed me on my forehead. “I've gotta get to work.” She turned away and gathered her things, stuffing them into her bag. “I'll call you later.”

When I was back in my room, I closed the door. I dove onto my bed and squealed. I was so happy. I reached for my cell and found Kaleb's number. I had to call him.

“Hey, Kayleigh,” he said. “You didn't change your mind about our date, did you?”

“No way.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Sharp

*

On Friday night, the plan was to take Kayleigh on a special date. Gunner hooked me up with a film projector, a portable projector board and a film reel loaded with old films such as Nosferatu. I bought a huge bag of Skittles and found a perfect viewing spot away from everyone else, up on a grassy hillside that overlooked the town. Most referred to the place as make-out point. The night would be spent watching old horror films, talking, laughing and possibly...more. But exactly twenty minutes before I left to pick her up, Stephen entered into one of his drinking moods and refused to let me borrow “his” car. I'd forgotten he'd be home. I'd already cleared the date with Mom who'd agreed to let me borrow the car, but now she took
his
side.
 

“You're not borrowing the car, Kaleb. I don't want you driving it.” That's exactly what Stephen said to me after I'd gotten ready for my date.  If he was going to do this, Mom should've alerted me sooner so I could've made other arrangements. The sudden change pissed me off.

“
C'mon
,” I spiraled, about ready to punch a wall. “Mom, you promised.” I looked at her for help.
 

Stephen launched into a fucking soliloquy. I tuned out about halfway in. “Your mother doesn't have the authority to lend you my car just because...”

It wasn't even
his
car.
Dammit.
I paced up and down the floor.