When Maze arrived he gave me one of his super smiles while he brought all the Setari – Taren, Kolaren and Nuran – into a single channel. He spoke aloud, though, specifically so Lira could hear what was going on, I think.
"The drone which managed to return from the rift shows that while the power flares are dying back, the landscape there is continuing to shift," he said. "It is likely that the Pillars have either been destroyed, or have shut down. This does not mean it's impossible to reach Tare and Kolar, but that an extremely time-consuming process will need to be undertaken to map the currents of deep-space. The route is not necessarily closed, or even altered, but it will be a matter of delicate timing to navigate. Once we establish the timing, there is likely to only be a narrow window for travel, so multiple daily journeys will be a thing of the past unless we can re-establish the Pillars. That's a matter for the long-term future."
He shifted, looking thoughtful. "In any case, it's highly unlikely we will re-establish contact in the next year – Taren year – so these will be the arrangements until such time as that occurs. Most significantly, for day-to-day assignments the squads will be broken apart. Although we will nominally keep our squad designations, current squad make-up is designed for Ena work, and that will be the minority of our duties.
"They believe the platform system is recovering, so bringing Mesiath up to a self-supporting level is to be our first task. The bulk of our work will be assisting in settlement – land clearance, seeding and feeding whitestone, survey and collection work, but also work on the recovery of information at Kalasa and the Oriath site. Expect to be working in groups of two to four. There will be opportunities to apply for extended leave, should you wish it. The provisional council has also established a land grant for all serving Setari, in recognition of the role we have played in making settlement possible. The grant is very generous, and I'll post details of the process as soon as it's finalised."
After shooting me an amused glance in exchange for my pleased smile, he went on more seriously: "Construction work is not what we spent so many years training for, and I know that many of you will prefer using your talents more fully. We have a little leeway with the assignments, and we will require more traditional rotation work at Kalasa and the Oriath site, and once it's deemed safe, with escorting the survey ship attempting to remap the path to Tare and Kolar. Feel free to message me with any preferences, or other concerns. This is a new phase for the Setari program, but it is something we have achieved, and should be proud of. There is a ceremony of thanksgiving scheduled in two days, and then our new assignments will begin."
We ending up having a big picnic lunch on the top of the building – all the squads, even most of Fifth and the Nurans – and everyone talked about parts of Muina they'd seen and liked, and the prospect of owning land or building houses there. The estimate of it being months before there's any real likelihood for re-establishing contact with the other worlds was actually reasonably comforting to most people, because they'd been worried about it being permanent.
Sen had a wonderful time, as usual, and Rye is blossoming more in social events. Ys and Lira stuck together as if glued, and were very polite to everyone who said anything to them, but I also had a stern message from Ys that I had to arrange for Lira to have the interface installed Straight Away because it wasn't fair on her.
It was a really nice time until someone noticed that the "Setari party" was being featured on the news and that we were being live-streamed via long-range lenses (and quite a few members of the talent school had taken up nearby vantage points and were watching in fascination). Nils said that islands sounded like a good idea to him too, and we all went inside.
It was the first time any images of me post-squishing had leaked, and there was plenty of discussion about how terrible I looked. It was also the first time Lira had been publicly seen, and I have my doubts about how she'll take all this discussion about how beautiful and mysterious she is. Fortunately, what little information KOTIS has released about her has made absolutely clear that she spied on the Cruzatch for us, and saved my life, and deserves a lot of credit for any of us still being here.
Obedient to Ys' edict, I checked with Isten Notra, then took Lira down to medical and described to her how completely horrible she was going to feel over the next few days while the technicians gave her a medical exam and then a shot to the temple. It's unlikely they'll ever expand the interface for her as they did with me, though they do have a theory about why mine keeps going strange – the language injection they gave me, to jump-start me in learning Taren, is basically a pared-back impression of someone else's mind, and they think that's what's creating the conflict. Since Lira doesn't need the language injection, they're more confident about giving her the interface.
Ista Tremmar wanted to keep Lira in medical for observation, which she was extremely unkeen about, and eventually I talked them into putting a medical sense-chair up in our apartment so they'd know if she was having a crisis overnight. I want to keep her close because, even though there's times when she seems like she is taking naturally to her strange rebirth, I often catch her with a lost and lonely expression. She's not only survived a great deal of trauma, but I think she's well aware of the 'fading away' possibility.
I'm never going to forget the sound of her crying, and the way her whole body shuddered while I held her. I'd like to think that I've done more than give her a new form of half-life, that she'll be able to live normally, but since I have no way of knowing, all I can do is offer her as much welcome as she'll accept.
My throat was pretty worn by the time it was dinnertime, and both Lira and I were feeling very off, so we had a quiet meal, and Kaoren read the evening's bedtime story. We dimmed the lights in our lounge and put Lira's medical bed there, instead of in the kids' lounge, where it had been originally. I fell asleep before everyone but Sen, and woke a few hours later with an extreme need to take my pain meds.
Kaoren still can barely talk to me about how he felt while I was trapped. He's been holding me and watching me write for this entire entry, and I think he's going to be like that for quite some time. He's worried now about having a nightmare and hurting me thrashing about, but I told him to just sleep on my unbroken side and we should be fine.
Thursday, November 6
Arcadian
Lira had very little sleep last night, and looked fantastically depressed all day. She spent more of her time in Siame's room with the lights off. Sen, when she wasn't making a huge mess in the lounge, was tremendously sweet, running down to the kitchens every couple of hours and getting ice which she would wrap in a towel and then sneak into Lira's room and silently give it to her and take away the old towel.
I still made her clean up the mess.
Kaoren and I stayed in all day, rarely out of sight of each other, and along with spending time with the kids, managed to talk about not being dead, and what we would be doing next, and whether to change the timing of our wedding, and how to not have to keep relying on other people to take care of our children for us (this mainly involves me not being injured all the time so he and I can better balance the time we spend with them). They'll be going back to talent school quite soon, but we want Lira especially to have more time to adjust and no longer feel so uncertain about me.
We're not going to bring our wedding forward, even though the provisional laws they've written up for Muina don't have anything close to the time delay requirement of Tare. We'd been considering it because it would make formally adopting the kids easier, but Kaoren very much wants Siame to be there, and I still have hopes of contacting my family. We won't think about having more kids until after the wedding, which I think should give the ones we currently have enough time to feel that they really belong.
In a few days it's the day we decided would be Rye's birthday. He hasn't mentioned it at all, and from the occasional fulminating glare Ys has been directing my way, I imagine she thinks we've forgotten. The presents I bought were unfortunately left behind, but I figured out a replacement and Kaoren and I have been colluding with Lohn and Mara in getting it ready, and also arranging a surprise party. Rye's not openly looking concerned, though, and was in Seventh Heaven this afternoon because Kaoren took him out on the balcony and cut his hair off. It does make them look faintly alike, and it just made Rye so happy.
I'm not a Setari, so we weren't sure if the Setari land grant counted for me, but when Kaoren queried the contact person they kind of laughed at him, asked if I had a piece of land in mind, and said 'hold on a moment', and all of a sudden I owned an island. The whole island, since my land grant appears to be 'anything I take my fancy to'. I asked if I could change its name, and now my island is called "Arcadia", which pleases me to no end. It was that or call it Sydney.
Kaoren will keep his land grant and decide on where to use it much later. Possibly at Mesiath, because we both like it there, or possibly someplace we haven't even seen yet. A summer house, or something for the kids. I wasn't expecting to get the entire island, and could probably keep getting myself given bits of Muina, but the idea embarrasses me – especially because the grant of Arcadia hit the news about five minutes after it was made official. That at least pleased Rye – he's the most excited by the prospect of living on the island and he came running out to ask if it was true. And Lohn and Mara dropped by, and said that they were going to apply for land on one of the cluster of islands just south of Arcadia, and that a lot of other Setari were thinking of following suit. The largest island is currently called Siriath, and is about three times the size of Arcadia and very close – you could shout at each other over the gap.
Makes me want to try and get a canoe made.
Friday, November 7
Public Speaking
Today was the ceremony of thanksgiving.
I was too tired for it (contributing no end to the talk about how horrible I look) because I'd woken up a few hours after midnight to sit with Lira, who was having a terrible time. I took her down to medical, but they're still very unwilling to give any form of pain relief during interface installation, and because she's taken a strong dislike to medical (no surprise there) I took her back up to our rooms and sat out on the balcony with her.
Lira didn't particularly want to talk to me, just wanted not to be alone until she was finally exhausted enough to fall asleep. Thankfully the interface installation has completed, which not only means that she no longer has the headache from hell, but she has some incredibly distracting new toys to play with. Ys, Sen and Rye have all been very quick to show her the things they find most special about the interface, and she and Ys spent most of the ceremony talking silently to each other.
If I hadn't been semi-conscious, I suppose I would have found the thanksgiving ceremony quite touching. Even the huge Moon Piazza isn't nearly big enough to fit Pandora's entire population any more, but the main ceremony was there, and there were multiple other gatherings across the city, along with a broadcast. The provisional council is a mix of three Tarens, three Kolarens and three Nurans nominated to draft and recommend laws (although they have to be ratified by KOTIS for some time to come). They did most of the speaking, but kept it relatively short, and then someone sang and I was just wondering if I could get away with falling asleep leaning against Kaoren when they announced me as the next speaker. Kaoren promises me he would have warned me if he'd known, but it was my own fault for not reading my email. Or their fault for having ceremonies in the mid-morning.
So I went up looking like a car-wreck survivor, with extra circles under my eyes from lack of sleep, and my voice all croaky. I've never stood up before that many people, and only got through it by focusing on the black-clad rows at the front.
"It's nearly a full Muinan year since I first saw Pandora's old town," I said. "It was the first sign of civilisation I'd found. I was so glad. And it was so empty." I paused, looking past the Setari to the endless swell of people, most sitting on cushions or the stone paving. "Even after I was found by the Tarens, I still felt alone, because everyone I cared about was on another world, and I couldn't speak the language, and everything was strange. Some very kind people put a lot of effort into making me feel less alone, but I missed my family and I just wanted to go home. I'm not sure I would have believed a day like today could come so quickly. That Muina would not be an empty world, and that I could stand here and look out and in every direction see people who mattered to me, who have become part of a very extended family, and that they would have made this place home. I am so lucky to know you all, and I am very glad to be here."
That's totally not the speech I would have made if I'd put any thought into it, and I was bright red at the end of it, and got off stage as quickly as I could manage before I burst into tears. I could tell from the way Kaoren's eyes were nearly shut that he'd thought me tremendously funny, but he tucked me under his arm and Sen came and sat in my lap and I hid behind her. My punishment for looking so sick and exhausted during the ceremony was to be sent off to medical afterwards, where I promptly fell asleep.
Kaoren woke me in time for bedtime stories, and having finished the Kolaren story I began the rather challenging task of translating
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
. My Taren is still a little shaky on complex dialogue (and some of the scans were blurry), but it went reasonably well with only a few extended tangents for explanations of exotic concepts like lions. Fortunately the version we'd scanned was illustrated.