He touched the brim of his black hat and slipped out the door and into the fresh air, wondering what Hannah meant by what the woman had been through—cotillions and balls? Yes, they were so very hard on a person.
He spotted Rainee storming her way to his mother’s house, and his heart locked on the sight. “Rainee.”
She picked up her pace and so did he until he caught up to her. Reaching out, he clutched her by the elbow and turned her, though she spun on her own accord and very nearly took a swing at him in the process.
“Unhand me, please.” It was an order—not a suggestion.
“Only if you promise you’ll hear me out.”
Spunk flashed through her eyes. “There is nothing you could say to me that I would wish to hear. I know how you feel. You have made it perfectly clear, and I am sorry for making your life miserable. You need not trouble yourself anymore about me. I am leaving as
soon as I am able to make other arrangements. And the sooner the better. For both of us.” With those words, she yanked free of him, hiked up her skirts and closed the distance between her and his mother’s house within a matter of seconds.
He should have been happy she was making other arrangements and would be out of their lives soon, but he wasn’t. And that bothered him.
“M
en. Why did You ever create the wretched creatures? What do You have against us women anyway, Lord?” Rainee mumbled as she stomped her way through the kitchen and headed toward the stairway.
“What did you say?”
Rainee stopped and looked over at Katherine sitting in the chair darning a sock.
“Are you all right?” Katherine placed the stocking into the basket at her feet and pointed to the chair near her.
Rainee wanted to keep going, but she refused to be rude to Katherine just because her son was a brute. Plus, she needed to inform Katherine she would be leaving soon. Just how she would finance the trip, she did not know, but she wanted to get as far away from Haydon as possible.
With a heavy sigh, she walked over and sat in the chair next to Katherine. “I want to thank you for everything you have done for me.”
“This sounds like goodbye.” Worry lines etched Katherine’s eyes. “Don’t you like it here?”
“I love it here.” Rainee nodded and fought back tears.
Being around Katherine had made Rainee less lonely for her mother, and she had come to care dearly for this woman. But the reason she had come no longer existed, and she could no longer pretend that it might, nor would she trespass on Katherine’s kindness any further.
“Then, why?” Katherine tilted her head, inspecting Rainee. “Does it have anything to do with why you’ve been crying?”
“How did you know I had been crying?”
“Because your nose is all red and puffy.”
Rainee put her head down, but it was too late. Katherine already knew.
“Now, tell me, what has you so upset?”
Not wanting to cause a rift between Katherine and her son, Rainee decided on another tactic. “It has been three weeks since I arrived, and to be honest, there has been no sign of Haydon wanting to marry me. Quite the opposite, actually. So I think it best that I pack my bags and head back to Prosperity Mountain to catch the next stagecoach. If my calculations are correct, it should be arriving in the next day or two.”
“But where would you go? Surely not back home to that—”
Rainee knew the words Katherine chose not to speak. That monster, her brother. She took a breath to settle the horror that thoughts of her brother always provoked.
“Rainee.” Katherine grabbed her hands. “Why the sudden change? Did something happen to change your mind?”
Reluctantly, Rainee nodded.
“What?”
“I would rather not say. But please believe me when I say I must go even though I wish to stay. But I simply cannot.”
“I won’t push you to tell me what has caused you to change your mind, but would you consider staying for my sake?”
“For your sake? I do not understand. How could my staying possibly benefit you?”
“Because, I really enjoy your company, and I’ve come to love you like one of my own. Besides, I would worry myself to death, wondering if you’re okay. Here, I know you will be. Plus, you’ve been a huge help. But that’s not the only reason why I want you to stay,” Katherine hastened to add, but Rainee already knew what she had meant. Katherine loved people for who they were, not for what they did for her.
Genuine compassion and love flowed from Katherine to Rainee.
“That is very kind of you, Katherine. I, too, have grown to love all of you. But what about Haydon? I know he does not want me here.”
“Did he tell you that?”
Not wanting to be a pot stirrer, Rainee simply said, “Let us just say a woman knows when she is not wanted.”
Katherine frowned. “I’m sorry you feel that way. But…” She pressed her finger to her lips. “There are several single men in this county. I’m sure you could have your pick of any one of them. In fact, we’re hosting church here tomorrow. You can meet some of them then.”
Could this be why God brought her here? Perhaps there would be a kind man among the gentlemen tomorrow who would take her as his bride.
Or perhaps not.
Who would have thought she would have to succumb to marrying a total stranger instead of marrying for
love? If only her parents had not died. If only she could wait until she found someone who loved her and she him. But time was not her friend in that regard, so she needed to stop dwelling on the “if onlys” because they did no good whatsoever.
And if Ferrin chose to come after her like he had when she had run away to Aunt Lena’s, and if he found her unmarried, he would no doubt use brute force to make her Mr. Alexander’s newest wife.
Well, she would do everything in her power to not let that happen and pray that God would give her the strength to do what needed to be done. And He would. After all, God had given her the courage and grace to engage herself to Haydon, who she did not know or love, and she knew He would give her whatever else she needed to survive.
Rainee straightened her slumped shoulders. “I will stay. But only until I find out if another man might consider me or until I hear from Mr. Bettes.”
Katherine smiled. “Oh, I’m sure they will.” She turned her head toward the living room window. “But I’m even more sure before that happens my son will come to his senses and not let you go to another man.”
Rainee was certain she was not meant to hear that last part, but she had. She could only hope and pray Katherine was right and the stubborn man in question would indeed come to his senses.
Later on, before the sun had settled in for the evening, after the dishes were finished and put away, Rainee slipped outside into the warm air. The need to be alone and to think weighed heavily on her because she could not shake Haydon’s words from her mind. What had happened to him to make him dislike her so?
“Hello, Rebel.”
Inside the barn, Haydon turned his ear toward the sound of Rainee’s voice.
“How are you this evening?” she asked his horse.
“I’m fine,” Haydon answered.
Rainee whirled in Haydon’s direction as he stepped up beside her. Her body stiffened and she turned to leave.
“Don’t go, Rainee.”
She kept walking.
“Please.”
She stopped.
“I’d really like a chance to apologize for my rude behavior and to talk to you.”
She faced him. “You do not owe me an apology or anything else, Mr. Bowen. As you are not the one who sent for me, and you have made it perfectly clear you do not want me, I will take my leave as soon as other arrangements can be made. I am not one to burden myself onto another, and it is I who needs to apologize for what my presence here is putting you through.”
“Rainee, I can’t have you thinking my attitude has anything to do with you. It doesn’t. It has everything to do with me. I want you to know you are more than welcome to live here with my family for as long as you like.”
She tilted her head in a way he’d come to recognize, questioning him to see if he really meant what he said.
He could only hope he wasn’t making a huge mistake with his offer, but right was right and wrong was wrong. And he’d been wrong in his treatment of her—especially these last weeks as he tried to keep his distance. Besides, her staying with them didn’t mean he had to marry her.
“Thank you, Haydon.”
Hearing her address him as Haydon instead of Mr. Bowen was a good sign, and he felt the relief of it all the way from his head to his toes.
“I appreciate your kind offer. But I have already sent my post to Mr. Bettes, and if he still wants me, I will accept his offer of marriage.”
With those words, she headed toward the house. “Good night, Haydon,” she tossed over her shoulder.
Sunday morning, Rainee stood at the bedroom window with her hands on the sill and her forehead pressed against the glass. She gazed up at the bright July sun. Today looked to be another scorcher.
Down below she noticed Michael setting up tables. He picked up one end of the long table, and Smokey lifted the other. Michael, such a sweet, sensitive boy, would someday make some woman a fine husband. Just not for her, for he was much too young.
Rainee knew Michael had set his cap for her, but since their encounter with Haydon at the clothesline, she had tried to avoid the boy as much as possible because he was shirking his duties to be in her presence. Still, he seemed to find her wherever she went, and she refused to be rude to him. Guarded, yes. Rude, no. In fact, whenever she was around him, she made sure nothing in her countenance showed anything other than friendship.
It seemed to be working to some degree because Michael’s visits had become less frequent and he no longer caressed her with his eyes as he once had. It was if he understood there would never be anything between them.
Haydon stepped into view.
Rainee moved to the side of the window where he could not see her and watched as he hoisted the benches and placed them neatly in rows. How she wished things would work out between them.
He was a gentle man with a caring heart.
A man who loved his family and treated them with the utmost respect.
A man who under unusual circumstances had been polite and courteous to her.
Last night at the dinner table, he had tried to include her in the conversation, but after she had overheard him telling Jesse he wanted her to leave, she had no desire to talk to him. It was such a strange place to be—wanting him to fall in love with her, yet guarding her heart because she knew it would never happen.
So rather than talk to him, she had diverted her attention onto Abby. She loved that little girl as if she were her own sister. Rainee had always wanted a little sister. And if things would have worked out between her and Haydon, she would have had two.
As she continued looking out the window at the handsome man who caused her chest to rise and fall, she whispered, “Lord, Thy will be done.” She pushed away from the wall and headed toward the mirror.
Still dressed in her robe, Rainee stood in front of the looking glass contemplating what to do. Since wearing the lightweight dresses without the restricting corset, she never wanted to don that wretched contraption again.
What she did want to do, however, was to take her corset and wrap it around the person’s scrawny little neck who had invented it. Did they not know or care how suffocating and stifling the corset and all those layers of clothing were in the scorching heat? And for what? Appearance’s sake?
Appearances be hanged. Rainee was sick to death of the whole thing.
Though she loved her father dearly, that was one thing that had always disturbed her about him. Born a British gentleman, position, appearance, and wealth meant everything to him. Since moving to America, however, Mother said he had relaxed some of the stricter parts of his upbringing, but propriety was not one of them.
Rainee scrutinized the articles of clothing she had to choose from. Once again she was faced with the dilemma of what to wear. Her mere wardrobe consisted of four silk gowns and the three dresses Katherine and Leah had helped her let out.
Her mother’s words about dressing properly so she did not embarrass her father skimmed through her mind. She did not wish to embarrass the Bowens either, but she did not know what would be considered proper attire for an outdoor church gathering.
Rainee let out a very unladylike snort. She hated having to concern herself with such trivial matters. Sometimes she just wanted to run away and live in the wilds where no one cared about what she wore or how she looked.
A smile graced her lips. The Idaho Territory appeared quite wild to her. And she had run away to it.
She giggled, picturing herself running around in a pair of men’s trousers, an oversize shirt and a cowboy hat and boots. She rather liked the visual. It represented a freedom she craved but was likely to never have. In fact, she wondered if she would ever be free from the strict proper upbringing that seemed to haunt her like a ghost no matter where she went.
Unfortunately, clothes were not the only problem
weighing heavily on her right now. Today, the Bowen’s neighbors would arrive. Just how would they explain her presence at their ranch? How would they introduce her? And what would she say? Her stomach crinkled just thinking about it.
“Rainee.” Katherine’s voice sounded from the other side of the bedroom door. “May I come in?”
Rainee pulled her robe shut. “Yes.”
The door opened and in walked Katherine wearing a pink cotton dress. No ruffles, no frills, no silk and no layers of hot clothing. Just a simple, lightweight garment. The burden of the morning lifted, and the tight scrunches in her stomach relaxed. Perhaps the freedom she craved was within her reach after all.
“I was wondering if you would like me to braid your hair.”
Would she ever. “That would be lovely. Thank you.”
Katherine’s kindness and thoughtfulness never ceased to astonish Rainee.
She grabbed her clothes and slipped behind the makeshift partition. Within minutes she was dressed and feeling carefree and lighter than she had in years. She all but skipped to the dresser and sat down.
Katherine picked up the brush and pulled it gently through Rainee’s long hair. Rainee closed her eyes and relished the rare treat of someone else brushing her hair.
Growing up, servants had always styled her hair. And on rare occasions, her mother had. But all that had changed when her parents died and Ferrin had taken over her life. Some of those servants had moved on, and some of them had stayed for Rainee’s sake. With her no longer living at her parents’ plantation, she wondered if
even more of the servants had moved on and what they were doing. Especially Jenetta.
“You have such beautiful hair.”
“My mother used to say the same thing every time she brushed my hair, and she would share something with me from her childhood.”
“Like what?” The brush stopped mid-air.
“Well, when she was little, Mother had a horse named Beauty whose mane and tail were the same color and thickness as my hair. She loved horses. So did my grandfather. He had taught her everything she knew about them.
“But she had confessed the real reason she loved spending so much time with the horses was because during those times her father would tell her stories about his many business travels. She cherished those times she had been fortunate enough to spend with him. Just like she treasured the time she spent with me, brushing my hair and talking.” Rainee could still see her mother’s smile as if she were standing here in the room with her. And what a beautiful smile it was.