The Unexpected Evolution of Language (4 page)

In addition, the word suffered from its association with “artificial.” Originally, “artificial” was a neutral word, used simply to differentiate goods made by humans from goods “created” by nature. However, “artificial” came to have the pejorative taint it contains to this day, and “artifice” suffered as a result.

assassin

Original meaning: hashish user

NEW MEANING:
one who commits murder for political reasons

What does John Wilkes Booth have to do with hash? Oddly enough, there is a connection.

In 1090, a Muslim religious leader named Hasan ibn al-Sabbah created a fiefdom near Tehran. He surrounded himself with fanatical followers and came to be known as “The Old Man of the Mountain.”

Hasan and his followers struck terror in the hearts of many. They had no problem killing political enemies because they believed they, themselves, were doing the work of God. If one of Hasan’s followers was killed during an attempt to murder enemies, they believed he would go straight to heaven. Some modern terrorists have the same belief today.

Hasan and his followers also were known to smoke hashish. The visions the drug gave them were supposed to be glimpses of the heaven that awaited them upon a martyr’s death. Therefore, followers of Hasan were called “hashishyy,” which, through the vagaries of English pronunciation, became “assassin.”

Hasan and his successors continued killing political opponents until the Mongols came along and unseated them in the thirteenth century. Although he has been gone for a thousand years, Hasan’s evil legacy of politically motivated murders continues straight on to John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald.

Lesser-Known American Assassins

Four U.S. presidents have been assassinated, but Charles Guiteau and Leon Czolgosz are not exactly household names.

Guiteau assassinated James Garfield just four months after Garfield’s inauguration. Guiteau, a one-time member of the utopian Oneida Community, had delusions of grandeur. He believed he should be appointed to a cushy governmental sinecure and was upset that Garfield didn’t agree. Guiteau shot Garfield on July 2, 1881, in a Washington D.C. train station. Garfield lived two months after the shooting. Ironically, the bullet didn’t kill him. His doctors did, because antiseptic medicine was still a couple of decades away in the United States.

Michigan-born Czolgosz became enraptured by anarchistic beliefs. As a result, he decided to assassinate President William McKinley, believing it would help the United States … somehow. McKinley was in Buffalo visiting the Pan-American Exposition when he was shot by Czolgosz on September 6, 1901. Even improved medicine couldn’t save McKinley, who died from his injuries on September 14.

attic

ORIGINAL DEFINITION:
pertaining to Athens (usually capitalized)

NEW DEFINITION:
top story of a home, usually filled with junk

Greece may be floundering in debt at present, but hundreds of years before the birth of Christ, it was the very cradle of culture. Athens, in particular, was the site of cultural advancements unmatched since.

Athens sat on the Greek peninsula of Attica, and since Athens dominated the peninsula, “Attic” became an adjective and was used interchangeably with the word Athenian. Amazing advancements in philosophy, poetry, athletics, and architecture—among others—characterized the “Attic way.”

Now, jump in a time machine and move ahead to the eighteenth century. Even though Athens was no longer a cultural mecca, “Attic” architecture still represented a sophisticated, cosmopolitan, and educated class of people. Thus, businesses and institutions began to build structures in an “Attic” style. In fact, that style still is used today.

Peaked roofs, placed over the main structure, were the part of a building that seemed most “Attic.” Thus, for a time, “attic” (with a small “a”) meant “decorative façade above a building’s main story.” Ultimately, attic became the word to describe the room behind that façade and, nowadays, is associated primarily with private homes, rather than with public structures.

The condition of most modern attics—junk filling every corner, rats, mice, spider webs—would likely give the average Athenian of old a coronary.

awful

ORIGINAL DEFINITION:
worthy of respect or fear; inspiring awe

NEW DEFINITION:
abhorrent, offensive

Picture yourself hundreds of years ago, seated at a friend’s table. She’s just provided you with a meal. As you eat the food, you shake your head contentedly and say, “Gee, this is awful!” It would have been a compliment.

The word “awful” first appears in the fourteenth century, and it suggested something or someone who filled one with terror … God, an angel, a divine being. The Bible is filled with the word. In Hebrews 10:31, for example, the anonymous writer tells his readers, “It is an awful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”

Obviously, the scribe was not saying “it’s a terrible thing.” He was saying, “It’s a scary but awe-inspiring thing.” After all, he was exhorting his readers to stand up strong in the face of persecution. Later, “awful” suggested anything that inspired awe … such as an excellently prepared meal, for example.

By the nineteenth century, “awful” became mainly pejorative. Something inspiring awe or dread simply became “something that’s pretty darn bad.” A bit later in the 1800s, the word gained another use and became equivalent to the adverb “exceedingly,” as in “awfully nice to see you.”

B

backfire

ORIGINAL DEFINITION:
fire set ahead of a larger fire, to deprive the larger fire of oxygen

NEW DEFINITION:
to achieve the opposite—and probably
negative—result of a planned action

“Backfire” originated in mid-nineteenth-century America. Firefighters realized that they could stop large fires by setting small fires behind them, thus robbing the larger fires of oxygen and snuffing them out. When the internal combustion engine was born, the concept of backfire was borrowed to describe the sound made when an engine doesn’t “fire” properly.

At some point, the word also began to be used to describe the action of certain firearms that would kick back toward one’s body when fired. All of these various uses of “backfire” existed simultaneously by the early twentieth century.

Ultimately, the word gained a metaphorical use at least loosely associated with all of its earlier meanings. Not every firefighting backfire worked; sometimes the process just caused additional damage. Engines that don’t fire properly can ruin your plans. Guns that hurt you instead of an intended target produce the opposite of your desired effect.

Firefighters may still speak of a backfire because the process is still used, but for most, “backfire” refers to plans that blow up in your face … an appropriately fire-themed expression.

backlog

ORIGINAL DEFINITION:
a large log at the back of a fireplace

NEW DEFINITION:
tasks that have piled up

Do you think that modern Americans invented the art of ignoring work … especially during the holiday season? Well, think again. Europeans of the mid-seventeenth century perfected this art long before online solitaire or Angry Birds existed.

During the Christmas season, the man of the house would go into the woods and search for a really thick log. He would take it home, put it toward the back of the fireplace, build a good-sized fire, and let that sucker burn.

Since it was an extremely large log—called a yule log in honor of the season—it took a very long time to burn. The custom was that, as long as the yule log was burning, he could blow off work and most daily tasks. Of course, that meant the work piled up. But so what? He would drink another nog and forget about it!

Eventually, the log succumbed to ash, and it was back to work … and all those tasks he had ignored. By the nineteenth century, “backlog” came to refer to all those accumulated duties. What would those folks of the seventeenth century have given for the onscreen yule log cable companies offer at Christmastime? No more work again ever … until your cable gets shut off for nonpayment.

baffle

ORIGINAL DEFINITION:
to disgrace publicly

NEW DEFINITION:
to bewilder; confuse

“Baffle’s” transition in meaning is, appropriately, baffling … in the modern sense.

Initially, the word was used to describe, say, a knight who had demonstrated cowardice or been found guilty of perjury or some other crime. After being found guilty, he had “baffled” himself.

By the mid-seventeenth century, “baffle” lost that meaning and became the familiar word we know today. But why?

Here’s one clue: In the eighteenth century, sailors wrote of “baffling” winds, which meant winds that blew from various directions and “confused” their ship. Then, in the mid-nineteenth century, “baffle’s” other current meaning came into being: something that drowns out light or noise.

But neither of these changes fully explains the transition. Most likely, the word changed due to the incredulous responses elicited by stories of those who had been disgraced. If a lord or lady found out that a gallant knight was stealing swine, then he or she would have been shocked, surprised, confused, and bewildered by the news. Good people doing bad things? Baffling!

balderdash

ORIGINAL DEFINITION:
drink comprised of a mix of liquors

NEW DEFINITION:
nonsense; drivel

Nowadays, greedy barkeeps water down their drinks, while charging you full price. During Elizabethan times, bartenders had a different way to save some money.

Let’s say the pub owner was running low on several things: wine, beer, hard cider, etc. He sure didn’t want all that stuff to go to waste, so he mixed it all together. The resultant concoction was called “balderdash,” though it’s not clear if this was its “official” name or an insulting name given to it by customers.

Come to think of it, the customers probably didn’t care. Most likely, the bartender would sell this swill, which often—gag—included milk, cheaply. Thus, everyone was happy. Bartender gets rid of the crap at the bottom of the bottle or keg; customer gets cheap intoxication.

The word “balderdash” derives from a Danish word meaning “clatter,” as in “confusing noise.” Thus, it’s easy to see how “balderdash” stopped referring to cheap booze and, by the mid-seventeenth century, meant someone speaking (or writing) nonsense. If your meaning is all jumbled up, then, metaphorically, it resembles that stuff you drink when you’re looking to get drunk but your coin purse is nearly empty.

Balderdash = Bullsh*t!

“Balderdash” is a colorful word that now makes a nice euphemism for the word “bullshit.” Early American movie actors were kings and queens of euphemism, in part because the movies were for so long forced to avoid swear words. (Even certain seemingly innocuous words couldn’t be said under any context: virgin, nuts, goose, and madam, among them.) Here are some of the more creative ways Americans in Hollywood sidestepped a curse word:

• W. C. Fields would sometimes say “Godfrey Daniels” when confronting something annoying, irritating, or absurd. The nonsense name was simply a way to avoid saying, “Goddamn.”
  
• The Marx Brothers could be heard to say, “Jumping butterballs.” God only knows what that took the place of.
  
• Humphrey Bogart couldn’t even pause when asking Dooley Wilson, “what the … are you playing” as Wilson began to play “As Time Goes By” in
  Casablanca
  . Viewers might insert the word “hell.”
  

bandwagon

ORIGINAL DEFINITION:
circus wagon carrying a band