The Way You Make Me Feel (21 page)

There were strangling sobs in his throat. “Wake up, Stevie. I've got to tell you how much I love you. I've loved you all the time and been too big a fool to realize it. Oh God, please wake up.”

 

Damien was restless as they treated his deep bruises. He didn't want to leave Stevie's side. Hours later, Stevie lay on the high white hospital bed with Damien at her side and wandered in her own world with pain so deep it didn't matter anymore.

Well, he was going to tell her again and again he loved her, and finally her eyelids fluttered awake with him saying it.

“Damien?”

He squeezed her hand. “I'm here, baby, and I love you. I love you so much.”

She shook her head. “You don't have to say that. It's all right…”

“I love you,” he said again. “I've been such a fool.”

She stirred then. She was dreaming, she thought, because Damien was saying he loved her and it seemed like more than just words this time. How sad that she needed his love so badly she had to imagine it. Her body felt stiff, unreal and why was everything so white around her? It came to her quickly that she was in a hospital.

“Why am I here?” she asked him in a faint voice. “What happened?”

He squeezed her hand again. “Don't talk. I'll tell you later. The important thing is you're awake. You're back with me and I love you.”

She shook her head; it hurt. “No, you don't love me and it's all right. We can't help who we love. Honi's a beautiful woman and you love beautiful women.”

Damien snorted. “You're more beautiful than all the Honis in the world and I love you. Have you heard me at all, Stevie? Please believe me.”

Her face was somber. “You love Honi. You'll always love her.”

“No, I don't. I love you.”

She seemed to rally then. “You've got a soft heart. I've been hurt and you'll do anything to help me get well. It's all
right.
If you feel our marriage was a mistake, I'll give you a divorce and you can marry Honi.”

“Stop it!”
he told her. “I want you and nobody else. I've known that all along. I was just too big a coward to let myself love you. But you've got me on your hands forever. I have that much sense.”

Her eyes searched his face and she began to laugh softly. “You're such a teddy bear. No, you don't love me, but you think it's the right thing to do.”

“It's the
only
thing I want.” He felt sad that she didn't believe him.

She thought then about the possible baby, wondering if she should tell him, but her heart took over. “I was rushing back to tell you I took the early pregnancy test and it was positive. Of course—”

He stood up then, wanting to crush her to him, but he couldn't, so he sat back down, tears streaming down his face. “Oh, sweetheart, that's wonderful news.”

“I have to have a blood test, as I was going to say.”

He nodded enthusiastically. “It'll be positive.”

“I started not to tell you, but you need to know. We could stay together long enough to give the baby some kind of foundation, then you could move on…”

He flung up his hands in exasperation. “Stevie, haven't you heard a word I've been saying? We
stay
married, you and I. If you want to leave, I won't let you. We're hitched, baby, for the rest of our lives.”

The doctor assigned to Stevie came in then and smiled at them. “Well, from my check of your vitals, I'd say we've got a miracle on our hands. The bleeding has almost stopped and it's plain you're in good spirits. They say I work miracles. I guess this proves it.”

“G
ood morning, sweetheart. Did you sleep well?”

Stevie came from half sleep to find a haggard Damien sitting on her hospital bed. Her sleep had been almost dreamless and she felt rested until she saw her bandages and felt mild pain.

“Well enough.” From habit she began to lean toward him for her morning kiss. Then she remembered and stiffened, fell silent.

He took her hand. “You've got a day of testing. The doctor said you can't have visitors until afternoon. Stevie, you know I will keep telling you I love you. You know how stubborn I am.”

“I know.”

“Then you'll know why I'm going to keep telling you I love you. You set my life back on track when we married. Now with the baby I've got it all. But you're suffering, and
nothing
happened between me and Honi. I swear it.”

She wished he hadn't brought it up so early. The pain had fogged her brain and that was a blessed relief. Now the whole scenario pressed in on her, and her heart felt as if it would just give up.

“Believe I love you and I have ever since you saved me from myself. I just couldn't let myself know it.”

She patted his hand. “It's all right, Damien. You got caught up in a wild moment and you lost control.” She wondered how she could seem so calm when she was seething inside.

He felt like yelling like a frustrated child as he shook his head vehemently. “Oh, I know I sound like the worst kind of cad to say it, but I think Honi laced my drink with something. I've had more to drink before than I had to drink that night and I've held it well…”

She looked at him sharply. “Anything's possible, I suppose, but now you know what love can make you do. It throws you for a loop sometimes.”

“Your love threw me for a loop and I'm yours forever.” His voice got wistful then. “Let me kiss you.”

“No. Not now. I've got to have time to think about this.” His words had had an effect. Honi was certainly capable of spiking his drink, but only because she still felt his love surrounding her, Stevie thought. Love was the bottom line here, and no matter how many times he said he loved her, it didn't have to be the truth. He felt guilty and he wanted her to get well. That's all.

A grim Detective Rollins was there early. His sympathetic presence soothed her as he picked up a chair and got full particulars from Damien and her.

“Thank God you were lucky,” he said slowly. “We're moving heaven and earth to see that this doesn't happen again. I'll check on you later.”

The doctor came early on his rounds, drew the curtain around her and probed her body. When he'd finished, he told them, “Well, you're doing fine. The thigh cut is deep. The arm cut isn't as bad. The blood tests we ran when you came in prove pregnancy. Congratulations. Were you aware of that?”

Stevie smiled. “I took an early pregnancy test that said I am.”

The doctor nodded. “Well, the fetus isn't in any danger and you're going to be fine. I'm in the hospital several times today and I'll talk with you later. You're going to have to take it easy for a while, but you're doing well. Is this your first child?”

Stevie nodded, wanted to say,
Yes, and it complicates things. I would have walked away, heartbroken but sure I was doing the right thing. Now
…

The doctor's smile was warm, reassuring. “You'll be here a couple of days just to make certain. We don't put people out quickly. We also need to get you to see your OB so they can get you on a prenatal vitamin regimen.” He patted her shoulder and shook Damien's hand, offering congratulations again.

The morning tests went well with no complications. Jessi, Nick, Rip and Mia were her first visitors. They all stood around her bed.

“Mind telling me what happened, lady?” Jessi asked in mock consternation.

Stevie felt her eyes fill with hot tears. “We'll talk later, Jessi. Not now.”

Jessi nodded. “I can bumble sometimes. Of course.”

Stevie saw then that Mia carried a beautiful package done in gold foil with gold bells. She held it out to Stevie. “Do you hurt?” the little girl asked.

“You bet I hurt,” Stevie said, “but I'll be okay. Thank you for asking. What's in the package?”

“Candy,” Mia said. “Mommy said if you open it, I can have a piece.”

Nick laughed. “Mia, baby, let her open it in her own time. It isn't like you don't get your share of candy.”

“I like choc-lit,” Mia said stubbornly.

Stevie took the package and opened it to find a luscious array of fine Belgian chocolates. She held out the box to Mia who took one. “No, take two. You deserve them for holding the box all this time and not tearing into it.”

Mia laughed delightedly and repeated, “I love choc-lit.”

While the Coltons were there, the florist delivered their flowers, a large arrangement of roses, snapdragons, lilies and broadleaf and maidenhair fern.

“Oh they're lovely,” Stevie cried. She asked the nurse to put them in a vase by her bedside.

“Hey, Damien, you're mouse-quiet. I know you're worried, but she's gonna be okay.” Nick was ebullient and wanted to cheer Damien up.

“I'm just thinking,” Damien responded. “We've been through a nasty round and I'm just thanking God that Stevie'll be all right.”

“We all are thanking Him,” Jessi said.

Rip shook his head. He had said nothing since he came in. “It just doesn't seem like you at all, lying there. I'm used to seeing you
bounce
. You get well in a hurry.”

Stevie had to laugh because he sounded so grown-up. “Point well taken,” she told him. “Catch my drift in a week or two. I'll be going through the roof.”

The family didn't stay too long. It was one of the biggest club nights, a Saturday, and they had to get started setting up for the crowd.

A surprise visitor, Sam Pearce, Stevie's manager, arrived. “Well, I just can't turn my back on you a second, can I?” he teased her. “What have you gone and done to yourself now?”

Stevie looked at him drolly. “I seem to have run into a car.”

Sam's face grew sober as she winced with a bit of pain. “Are you going to be all right?”

“Sure. I'm tough. You know that.”

She saw then that he carried the Nashville morning paper turned to the society pages and her photo was on the front page of that section. He held it out to Damien, who sat in a chair on the other side of the bed, and told him, “Hey, Damien, take a gander at this. It looks like our girl tore the place up in Atlanta last night. I can't wait to see what
Variety
and Billboard run when it's their turn.
Country Cousin
was there and they're doing a cover feature. Lady, you're going to make me rich.”

Stevie smiled. “It couldn't happen to a nicer man.”

Sam looked at Damien. “You seem down, man. What's on your plate?”

Damien shrugged. “Just thinking about—things.”

Sam drew a deep breath, saying to Stevie, “When you get well, I'm going to want to know all the particulars. Leave out nothing. If I hadn't become your manager, I'd have to be a newspaper reporter. Listen, I'm going to have to run. My secretary paged me with the news about your accident. I'm on my way to New Orleans. I want that to be your next gig.” Sam always talked in staccato, making you listen fast.

Stevie nodded. “We're going to get interference with our plans. I'm pregnant, Sam.”

Sam wondered if she knew how beatific she looked. His mouth opened with surprise and he laughed delightedly. “Well, I'll be damned. You two sure didn't wait to get started. Pregnant women work wonders these days…”

“The baby comes first.”

“Yeah, I know you and Damien. I'd like to be the godfather.”

“Well,” Stevie said, “we were thinking of asking Jessi, but I see no reason why you couldn't both fill in. I think this kid is fated and he or she may need you both. Damien's a twin so it could be two.”

“Done deal!” Sam chortled. “I've got five kids as you know, but there's never enough of the little devils.”

It was late afternoon when the prosecutor's flowers, lovely yellow roses, came with a note that he was out of town, but he'd heard about what happened. He called soon after they arrived.

“I'm sorry to hear about your accident. How're you doing?”

“I'm going to be all right. Curt, I was going to call you today. My memory's just about totally back now, except for the one point I told you about. And that has nothing to do with Jake's case. I'm going to be able to do the job you want me to do.”

The prosecutor's sigh of relief was audible. “Thank God. You know what the case has been like with Ms. Evans dead and you with partial amnesia. Since you've been remembering, you've kept me posted and it seems to me we've got what we need. I think McGowan is going to get the shock of his life. When we're through with him, he'll go up for at least a few years.”

Ben and Cina came in and they both hugged Stevie. Cina's eyes were full of tears.

“You sure have had your share of trouble,” Cina told her.

“Yes,” Stevie said, “but it could be so much worse.”

“You're right about that,” Ben said. “They say God don't send you no more trouble than you can stand.”

Stevie offered them candy and they each took a piece, commenting that it was delicious.

“Well, I set a package on that table when we came in,” Cina said. “It's cherry pie from just about the best cherries of the season, with whipped cream. I brought enough for you and Damien and whatever nurses and doctors you have. It's a big pie.”

Stevie laughed. Her taste buds came alive at the thought of Cina's delicious pie.

 

Next morning Stevie was awake when Damien got up and came to her bedside, peering down at her. Through half-shuttered lids she watched his concerned expression. She had been awake for a half hour. He hadn't even gone to the bathroom before coming to her.

“How're you feeling, love?”

“Much, much better. My leg doesn't hurt nearly as bad. Thank you for pushing me out of the way. Excuse my manners. I've never asked how you're doing.”

“I wouldn't blame you if you didn't care. I only wish you hadn't fallen on the broken bottles.”

She shrugged. “Better a damaged thigh than a casket. You haven't said how you're doing.”

“Bruised as hell. The cretin's fender hit me full measure, but I've got no broken bones or anything. My hip's stiff and I'll be limping for a little while. You're better and that's all that matters.”

She had tossed the night before thinking about what she said next. “Damien, I'm moving back to my house when I get out.”

He looked startled before he thought about it. “I wish you wouldn't. I've got the whirlpool bath there and other amenities you'll need…”

“I'll get whatever I need. I just can't take the thought of what happened. Being in your house would remind me too much.”

“I understand all right and I don't blame you. But I can sleep downstairs, go to a hotel. Stevie, what can I do to make you know that nothing happened?”

“Maybe just because you were too drunk. I think you were drunk on love for Honi.”

“Oh God, I told you what I think.”

“That she drugged your drink or drinks? Yes, you said that. I guess it's possible, but I don't see her needing to. The woman herself is a drug to you. Lately, I've watched her insinuating herself under your skin and you haven't stopped her.”

He had to admit that what she said was true. He hadn't stopped Honi from coming on to him. It helped to ameliorate all the pain he had suffered lusting after her when she'd left him. But that was hindsight. No damned good now. His foolhardiness had cost him Stevie's love.

He leaned toward her. “I want to tell you everything that happened after I left you, how I happened to get in this mess.”

She raised her hand quickly. “Later perhaps, but not now. It's still too fresh.”

“Okay.” They were silent then for long moments.

“Stevie,” he said wistfully. “Is what you felt for me completely dead? Because I'm loving you hard, the way I have for ages and didn't know it.”

He sat on the side of the bed then and took her hand. His touch seared her flesh, but she held back. “Love doesn't die overnight,” she said softly. “That's why I understand what you feel for Honi, and I married you anyway. But we were wrong.”

He drew a deep breath. “No, I've never done anything more right in my life. Now we've got a baby to consider and we need to tough it out.” His voice was adamant.

“Then we go our separate ways,” she said firmly.