Authors: György Dragomán
For a while we just stayed there motionless on our bellies on the ground, and when I finally leaned up on my elbows I could feel the sweat and the war paint flowing all the way down my neck and into my underarms, and then it occurred to me that if I had to lie here for long in the sun, then in the end I'd look completely like a zebra, and that made me have to laugh so bad I could hardly hold it back, and when Puju grabbed my elbow and asked me in a whisper what was up, why did I have to go and laugh, I just shook my head and waved a hand, and then I crawled up ahead and again looked up out of the wheat, the pigeons were still circling around the watchtower and the wheat around it was stomped down in a semicircle at least a hundred feet wide, but 1 didn't see a sentry anywhere at all, as if that spear alone was enough of a sentry, and then I looked back toward where the fighting was, but all I could see was the wheat swaying this way and that as the guys were wrestling inside it, and then all of a sudden someone sprang up out of the wheat right up to his waist and started running toward the watchtower, at first I thought it was Little Prodán, but then I recognized him, it was Jancsi, but he took just two steps before someone caught up with him and must have dragged him back down, because Jancsi cried out and fell back down into the wheat with his arms stretched out wide, and then I got back down on my belly and told Puju that no one was guarding the watchtower, maybe it would be best to just go ahead and climb up there for the ball, yes, it would be best if he started off for it right away, but he shot right back that this whole war was a bunch of crap, it was cheating because we weren't allowed to climb up the watchtower at all, it was the property of the state hunting association and you needed a hunting permit to go up there, his father said the collectivists kept an eye on it with binoculars on account of poachers, and the whole time he was talking I saw that he was still white as a ghost, and the sun was beating down so hard that I could hardly talk, that's how dry my throat was, and then I spit that bitter black saliva out of my mouth and I thought of Prodán's bayonet and I told Puju I'd had enough, if he was really that much of a chickenshit, why then, I'd climb up there just because, and Puju asked what I was fussing about when I knew full well I couldn't start off until Prodán gave the signal, but then the taste of that disgusting cork ash shot right back through my mouth and I didn't have even enough saliva to spit it out, and I said Prodán could go to hell along with that bayonet of his, and I got up on my knees and threw my blowgun and ammo belts on the ground and I stood up, and I started off toward the watchtower, running as fast as I could.
As soon as I stood, I told myself I wasn't about to look at that spear close up, but then when I got next to it I couldn't resist, I just had to take a look, and that's when I saw that the handle really was soaked in blood, and blood was even pooled fist-deep in the upside-down, tied-up plastic fertilizer bag, but you couldn't tell what was really stuck on the tip of the spear, I turned away my head because I was scared that if I saw it clearly, I wouldn't be brave enough to climb up into the watchtower, but then I thought it had to be just a pigeon or a rabbit up there on the tip of the spear, something the other-streeters had poached, and meanwhile I reached the foot of the watchtower and started climbing the ladder.
It wasn't even a real ladder, just a pole with strips of wood nailed to it crosswise as rungs, and it swayed a lot and the rungs creaked as I began climbing, I had to hang on tight to keep from falling, and then I looked up between the gaps in the floorboards of the blind and saw someone there, it was Remus Frunza, which really surprised me, because until now I thought he was down in the wheat field fighting along with the others, but no, he was right up above me in the watchtower, crouched in one of the corners of the blind on a bunch of coiled rope and smoking a cigarette, his face was all red from the war paint, and all of a sudden he looked right at me, and I was so scared that I couldn't say a thing, even my hands just stayed there on the top rung, and Remus Frunza didn't say a thing either, he just kept staring at me, and when he blinked I saw that his eyelids were also smeared with red war paint, plus his eyebrows were highlighted in black and there were black stripes on his forehead and his face, he looked so scary that my heart shot right up into my throat and I thought I should climb back down, except that I still couldn't move, no, my hands just squeezed that top rung tight, but suddenly someone told me not to stop, to go on climbing, and that someone was Romulus Frunza, Remus's kid brother, who was sitting up there on the tiny bench even though I hadn't noticed him at first, and then Remus Frunza finally gave a nod, but he still didn't say a thing, no, he just took another drag on his cigarette and blew the smoke out through his nostrils.
Somehow I then moved, edging my way slowly to the top rung, my legs felt like dead weights, they did, but all at once Remus Frunza reached out and grabbed one of my wrists and yanked me up into the watchtower without a word, and meanwhile I heard Romulus Frunza ask me my name, and I told him, and he nodded and asked, "So are you that orphan kid?" and I said, "No, my dad's just at the Danube Canal," and Romulus gave a wave of his hand and said, "Oh, that's all the same," and then he said, "Congratulations," he wouldn't have thought
one of us would get so far, and then he asked me what I was doing there, and Remus Frunza also looked at me as if waiting to hear what I'd answer, and he crushed his cigarette in the upside-down top of a tin milk can, and I didn't dare say a thing, and all of a sudden Remus Frunza took out his switchblade, but instead of flicking it open he just turned it around in his hand, and Romulus said he was asking me one last time what I was doing there when I knew that the watchtower was off limits to everyone, and of course I didn't dare turn the question right back on them and ask them what they were doing there, no, I just said, "I came for the ball, I'm here to take it away," and Romulus Frunza said, in a jeering tone of voice but without the slightest grin, "You don't say, I would never have thought," and then he said, "All right, as long as you're here, take a seat, but careful, everything in here is full of pigeon shit." And then I looked up and saw a bunch of beams nailed crosswise under the watchtower roof and a whole lot of pigeons sitting on them, at least forty, preening their feathers and stretching their necks, and of course there was nowhere at all for me to sit down, Romulus Frunza took up all of the tiny bench, and although there would have been a little room next to Remus Frunza on the rope, I didn't dare sit down there, even though by then he'd put away the switchblade, so I said, "Thanks, but I want only the ball, and if possible I'll be on my way already," but Romulus Frunza then said only that I wasn't going anywhere, and he asked if I saw a ball around here, and I said no, because I really didn't see it, and I bit my lips and added, "That's cheating, the ball is supposed to be here, that's not fair," but Romulus Frunza said I should get it through my head that war is never fair, because it's all about victory and not about being fair but that he recognized my courage in saying this to his face, and soon it would be clear if I really was brave or if my mouth was just too big for my own good because he was about to give me the chance
to prove it, and when he said that, Remus picked up a piece of wooden board near the coiled rope and laid it on the floor, there was a brownish spot in the middle of the board that looked just like a person's palm spread open wide, and Romulus told me to kneel down and put my right hand on the board, and only after I put my hand down did I suddenly realize what was about to happen because I'd seen this one time in a movie about the partisans, and what I wanted most was to pull away my hand, but by then it was too late because Remus had again pulled out his switchblade, and in the same motion with which he flicked open the blade he'd already jabbed it into the wood between my index finger and thumb, and as the knife kept quivering I felt the face of the blade touch the skin of my index finger again and again, and meanwhile Romulus said his big brother's hands were pretty steady and that I'd better not try to take my hand away from the board because then who could say if the knife might slip out of place, and Remus didn't say a thing, he just grabbed the switchblade handle and pulled the knife out of the wood and started jabbing it nice and easy between my fingers, the blade pierced the wood with a thud every time, and then Remus plucked it out of the wood and the board gave a creak, so I kept hearing a thud and a creak, a thud and a creak, and I looked down at my hand, my fingers looked really thin all spread out like that, but then I thought that they weren't thin enough, because sooner or later Remus would stab one of them for sure, and I felt goose bumps form on my arm all the way up to my shoulder, and I didn't want to look at my hand, I didn't want to see the knife making its way between my fingers, instead I tried raising my head nice and slow so I wouldn't have to look that way, and right when I did so I saw that Romulus Frunza was staring at me and smiling and nodding too, and then he said, "All right, all right so far," and I heard the thuds and the creaks pick up pace a little, but I still didn't
look down at my hand, no, I just kept looking at Romulus instead, and then Romulus asked me if I was sure I wanted to take away that ball, and I wanted to say, "No, no way, I don't want a thing, to hell with Prodán's ball, just let me take my hand away from there," and I felt the board shaking under my palm from the jabs, but then I didn't say a thing, all I did was give a nod even though I knew I should be shaking my head instead, and then Romulus said all right, but I should get it through my skull that this pigheadedness of mine would spell trouble not just for me but for all the other guys on my street, but if I could stand it until he told his big brother to stop, then he'd tell me where the ball was, and if I couldn't take it anymore, there wouldn't be any trouble then either, all I had to do was say, "Enough, I give up," and the knife in his big brother's hand would stop that instant and I'd be free to go, but then I thought of the spear stuck in the ground, and of the blood oozing slowly from that fertilizer bag, and I knew it was now all the same to me anyway, and so I spoke, I said this would be fair if Romulus put his palm down there next to mine, but Romulus didn't get angry on account of my saying that, he just said that here, he got to say what was fair and what wasn't, and I didn't say anything back, I didn't even look at Romulus but behind him instead, at the watchtower's wind-breaking wall, and that's when I noticed a bunch of pigeon feathers nailed beside each other on one of the boards, and I could feel Remus moving his hand even faster, and suddenly Romulus asked how long it had been since we'd gotten word about my dad, and my hand almost moved, that's how shocked I was to hear him ask that, and I wanted to tell Romulus it was none of his business, but then I spoke anyway, "A pretty long time," I said, and then Romulus said he'd have me know that no doubt I too was already an orphan, just like him and his big brother, and I said, "It's not true, I'm not an orphan," and I looked back
down at my hand, by then Remus's hand was moving so fast I couldn't even tell which two fingers of mine the knife was jabbing between, the thuds and the creaks flowed together, and the board was shaking terribly by now under my palm, I could practically feel the ice-cold blade against every one of my fingers at once, as if they'd slipped a big, quivering iron glove over my hand, my whole body was covered with goose bumps by now, and I thought my hair must be standing up like that time they switched the electricity on me in physics class, so anyway, my left hand was clenched tight in a fist, and I knew that any time now my right hand would try clutching at the board, and I also knew what would happen then, the tip of the knife would go through one of my fingers like going through butter, which is also why I didn't want to move my hand, I knew I must not. I looked at Remus Frunza, his tongue was sticking out a little, I saw, he was squinting and he was staring hard at his own hand, but then he must have sensed that I was watching because now he looked right back at me and the knife started going even faster between my fingers, and I knew that this was it, that he couldn't do it any faster, that he'd call it quits any time now, and then Remus suddenly broke into a grin and shut both his eyes, his teeth were all painted black, and I saw his eyelids were red from the war paint, and a big black pupil of an eye was drawn with coal on each one, and when I saw that, I felt the sweat start flowing again, and I knew this was it, now that he was doing it blind he'd slip up for sure, he'd stab that knife into one of my fingers any second now, and I knew I wouldn't be able to take it anymore, that in no time I'd cry out and ask him to stop, so I clenched my teeth to keep from screaming because I knew that if I did cry out, he'd slice that knife right into the middle of my hand, it was the same in that movie about the partisans, that was the punishment for cowards, but the scream had already started up my throat, and then while
still clenching my teeth I began hissing and then letting out this long wordless scream, and my face cramped up completely, so much so that I could feel its every single muscle throbbing with pain, and the whole time my hand was still pressed against the board, and I still hadn't said, "Enough," true, it's not like I could have said anything anyway, on account of my screaming, and then Romulus Frunza gave me a smirk, and suddenly he also opened up his hand and put his palm right down there on the board next to mine, Remus didn't even open his eyes, but he must have known what had happened because by now he was passing the switchblade in and out between his kid brother's fingers too, his hand was so fast you couldn't even see it anymore, and the board was vibrating so hard under my palm that it felt as if the whole watchtower was swaying, I wasn't screaming anymore, just hissing really loud, and then Romulus Frunza spoke. "All right," he said, he didn't think I could take it so long, all I needed to do now was admit the truth to myself, that I was an orphan and I didn't have a father either, all I needed to say was that I knew he died and that he'd never come home, and then he'd tell me right away where the ball was, but I still didn't say a thing, and then Romulus spoke again, he told me to believe him that it would be best even for me if I said it out loud, it would be a relief, I'd see, and when he shut his mouth, in that instant I figured out where the ball was, the only thing I didn't get was why it didn't come to me earlier, and I shouted, "No, no way, both of you should go drop dead," and suddenly I snatched away my hand, and in the same motion I kicked the board toward Remus and lunged for the ladder and I saw Remus open his eyes, but he was already jabbing down the switchblade right where the middle of my hand would have been, but because the board had slipped, it wasn't my hand but Romulus's that was now there, but whether or not Remus stabbed into that hand with the knife I didn't see, because by then I was already climbing down the ladder, all I heard was one of them let out a cry so loud that the pigeons on the beams overhead all flew off at once, and meanwhile I was climbing down as fast as I could, and one of the rungs slipped out of my hand at the end and I fell on my rear end right there in front of the watchtower, but luckily I didn't land too hard, and I looked up and saw Remus Frunza leaning out of the watchtower up to his waist, and then Remus told me in a harsh, rasping voice to go ahead and run as hard as my lungs could take it because I could kiss my life goodbye, and that they'd catch up to me even if I got two hundred yards ahead of them, and then I felt the air biting at my hand, and I looked and saw blood flowing from it in a bunch of places, the switchblade had caused a bunch of tiny wounds on both sides of my fingers, which was why the ladder rung had slipped out of my hand, yes, my palm was slippery because of the blood, up to that moment I'd wanted to leave the ball right where it was, but then I thought I wouldn't after all, not if I could help it, and I stood up and ran over to the spear and yanked it out of the ground and tore the fertilizer bag off the tip, and I threw down the spear, and with the bag in my hand I started running back toward the Big Tree.