Authors: Iva Kenaz
“
Dance, sister, dance with us!
We help you and you help us.
Dance in the motion, dance with us all night.
Just dance, dear daughter of the moon and the sun.
You shall reunite with your man and so will we
Once you open the gate and restore our peace.
Just give in to the ghastly task
For we will lift them up at last.”
My head starts spinning. I'm about to fall, when I crash into Aesa. She enthuses over my changed mood and clutches my hands. We start to dance together and I can feel her joy streaming through her hands straight into mine. She moves faster and faster and soon we all begin to dance in a circle, holding each other’s hands, receiving the vital power of the fire. The motion becomes too fast for me, I can hardly keep up and finally fall to the ground in exhaustion. Aesa leans over me and says something, but I can hardly hear her voice over my fast heartbeat and loud breathing, I only catch the last words:
“... soon you will.”
Then she joins the others and lets me rest on the ground. I look up at the moon and gaze at it persistently, wishing it would gaze back at me. Perhaps it already does, for my eyes fill with tears, as they tend to do each time I behold that marvellous ball of white light.
I stretch my arms up and create a bowl-like shape with my palms, fitting the moon right in the middle, cradling it. Then I bring my palms to my lips and kiss the moon. Once I set it free again, I turn to see -
The flaring red flames and naked bodies moving on the wheels of their wild fortune.
*
Later, as I drift off into dream land, I appear in a strange moment in time that is long gone, but has been revived. I'm standing below the familiar cloudy skies, but look like Algíz more than myself. Using a holy dagger I carve a symbol into my palm. It's the symbol from my cave. It does not hurt and I'm being precise, trying to remember, trying to transmit a message through the passage of time. And meanwhile, I hum to myself over and over again:
“
As above, so below
Never again will I be alone.”
*
I don’t know how Edana does it, but I can never bring myself to say no to her. She has that persistent yet sweet persuasive method that slowly wraps you in her wondrous webs.
The day before yesterday I was about to retreat back to my cave, but she talked me into staying again, this time luring me to a festive dinner she has planned for me, during which I will taste her speciality – fresh fish from the river, grilled on dandelion leafs and sprinkled with thyme. When I exposed my decision not to eat animals, she tempted me with a different treat - oak flower bread with last year’s hazelnuts baked underneath the hot coals. I have tasted the delicacies and admitted that they serve a much better food than I'm used to lately, but I insisted that I shall leave the next day.
However, yesterday morning she begged me to help them build a boat they have been working on. She explained that it will be their only salvation in case great danger descends and they would have to sail down the river to some more remote areas. And today she has decided that I must stay, because we haven’t finished the boat yet. She explained that she senses danger since the three wild sisters disappeared. They left at dawn, right after our bonfire dance and haven’t returned since, which means they must be on one of their, as they like to call it, reckless trips. Edana has decided that she will banish them for their erratic behaviour and so the mood in the camp has changed. We all became sad and worried that Edana’s decision might provoke the temper of the three sisters. I keep promising myself that tomorrow I will leave, no matter how hard Edana tries to break me. I'm exhausted after the three days of never ending hustle and bustle. After all, I have gotten used to my private little haven of peace during the past few months, and both my body and spirit yearn to rest. I also begin to realise though, how lonely it is down there and that I must return to the Cursed Mount very soon anyway.
Rita, Otama and Hanah took me to the river today. We swam and also washed our clothes and laid them in the sun to let them absorb the elevating smell of the forest and fresh grass. I talked to the women about Edana and what they think of her decision to oust Yrsa, Myrun and Aoise. Otama shared my concerns.
“Edana has to be tough because her strongest intention is to protect us and so I understand her decision, but I'm certain that the stubborn minds of those three won’t let her get away with it. They have helped us build this camp with an honest interest, and they also have the equal right to the cave.”
That made me alert. I wanted to know more.
“Haven’t you heard the story? Edana and the three sisters are blood related, although their ancestors were not from the same clan. Legend has it that a long time ago, when the ancient tribes started to build their settlements in these lands, they split into two camps and inhabited the two sacred caves – one that lies here on the Cursed Mount and another one that lies in the valley, which we haven’t found yet. Both the caves were told to be inhabited by powerful sorceresses and legends say the two clans had many disagreements, which later resulted in a battle - that famous battle on the fields where the marshes are now. Many warriors died that day and the sorceress from the Cursed Mount cast a spell on the spirits of the enemy clan. The sorceress from the valley cave attempted to save the poor warriors and their cursed souls, but the sorceress from the Cursed Mount stopped her. And thus the curse was retained and the warrior spirits keep waiting to be lifted one day. Sorcha told us that due to the prophecy, only when the sorceresses return to these lands, will the curse be finally fulfilled, or lifted.”
Her words surprised me. My grandmother never told me the details of the legend. If this is true and Edana’s kin is related to mine, then I'm not only bound to her, but also to the three untameable souls. And if I found Algíz in my cave, who has Edana found by that menacing altar?
*
We returned to the camp after dusk and now as we start preparing the fire, we notice that the three sisters are back. I can’t believe my eyes when I spot five figures walking behind them. The figures soon become more visible and I observe that they are five men! We are all shocked, but they don't seem surprised at all. For what cunning reason has the three lunatics brought them here?! Aesa locks her eyes with mine and winks, which only proves my ghastly notion – their silly talk has become a reality. They have actually brought the men here for us. Perhaps Edana was right, they are far too reckless, they put us all in danger!
Edana explodes as soon as she sees the five men and although they seem to have come with no bad intentions, and in fact seem friendly and cheery so far, her glaring face instantly makes them alert. Yrsa and Myrun calm the men down while Aoise takes Edana aside. She starts to explain something to her and although I stand fairly close to them, I overhear only bits of their secretive conversation:
“Do you remember the prophecy? We only decided to speed things up. They are safe with us, don’t worry...”
Then I stop paying attention to them, because I notice that one of the men has been watching me with vivid curiosity. He could be just a few years older than me, quite handsome, strong, his light hair falls down to his shoulders, and he has a captivating roguish smile and eyes that dazzle me. He is obviously used to attracting women, for he scrutinises me expertly. I turn away and the heat wave in my cheeks discloses my nervousness. I admit to myself that this is the second time in my life that I feel drawn to a man, but I discard the feeling before it consumes me. Edana’s mood surprisingly changes once she has talked to Aesa and she actually welcomes the men to the bonfire and provides them with water and food. The men have brought a generous amount of red wine, which she is pleased with and instantly pushes Rita to bring some ceramic cups for us. Meanwhile, she also whispers something to Otama, who just nods and distances herself to prepare some herbal tea. I wonder if she is actually going to serve them the herbs which are said to increase sensuality. God only knows what these women are after now.
I chose to sit a bit further away from the group, lest I witness something shameful and decide to leave. Brigita and Libi appear to be affected by what Aesa has just whispered to them and they decide to leave. Before they set off into the dark bushes, I detect a disapproving frown on Libi’s face. I become even more baffled and start to sense that something malicious hovers over us. The amiable mood increases once the men and some of the women, excluding me, Otama, Edana and Halla, start sipping on the herbal potion. Aesa and Yrsa have been buzzing around the men like flies, whetting them in their unabashed alluring manner. They feed them with disturbing information and at one point even claim that when they can’t get a hold of a man, they simply satisfy each other. Luckily, Otama and Edana soon cease their prattling and introduce the rest of us. They make up a lie that we are refugees from a village that burned to the ground last summer. I'm surprised to see how cunning all these women are and am particularly taken by Edana, who is most convincing in her lies. Had I not known the truth, I would have believed every word she has said.
The man that captured my attention before occasionally leers my way, but I pretend not to notice. Rita has struck up a conversation with the youngest man in the group, one that could in fact be even younger than she is, and they seem to be very taken by one another. I wonder whether it will be her chaste intention or curiosity that wins tonight.
Eventually the company starts to break off into smaller groups as Edana retreats to the cave, where Geira has been resting. Otama and Halla soon join them and I become restless. I feel like I should leave as well, but am also tempted to stay, eager to find out more about the mysterious roguish man. I'm too shy to strike up a conversation though, and so I just hope that he will be the one to start. The three wild sisters soon begin to talk about their past love-making experiences and the atmosphere becomes more intimate. I wonder if they have already lain with the men before or if they have been simply, slowly, increasing their desire?
At one point, Rita and the young boy disappear into the bushes. Shame spills over me when I think of what they are about to do. The situation worsens when the three women become loose, not afraid to express what they seek. I turn my attention to the roguish man, for he has been rather distant since the scent of lust filled the air. The three men and the three sisters start kissing and touching and I decide that it’s time to leave. And that’s when he lays his eyes on me again. I'm flattered that I have his attention, but also utterly humiliated, because Aesa has just finished undressing herself and the man she has been entertaining has as well.
I set off, although I do turn and check on him, wondering if he is still watching me. His smile and the hidden intentions behind it make me nervous. I hope he did not mistake my curiosity for an open invitation. I can’t think straight at the moment and find myself confused about where to go. I make up my mind in haste and hurry toward the road that leads down to the river. Moonlight still shines on my path, but I'm aware that once I dive into the forest, I won’t be able to see very well. I could return and join the women who have decided to withdraw from the craziness, but I dread that dark cave and the thread that it keeps.
I soon reach the forested road. Through the darkness I detect a comfortable space where I could rest - a bed of moss. As I descend into my well picked hideout, I notice that the man is after me! I change my path and start walking deeper into the woods to hint to him that I want to be alone. He does not seem to understand though, and so I cry out:
“I hope you haven't misread me, mister. I’m just going to rest!”
He doesn’t seem to care, as his pace actually becomes more vigorous. His eyes are hungry, focused entirely on me—the prey that won his lust and that he now wishes to ensnare. I start running away, he speeds after me. I remember the two times I tried to escape from Nathaniel. If he is as fast as him, I have no chance, particularly in the dark of night. I can hardly see where I'm going and so I decide to just stop, face him and explain myself. He moves toward me rather slowly now and seizes me shamelessly. His irresistibly kind, yet provocative, expression makes me shiver with sudden excitement. I inhale, preparing to speak, but he places his palm over my mouth, gently pulls me closer and I freeze with a thrilling fright. My eyes focus entirely on his face, which is now moving closer to mine and I don’t resist, I actually welcome his lips with an unexpected enthusiasm. The yet unreleased energy that dwells in my lower belly runs through me like a thunderbolt as we kiss, shattering me from head to toe. I feel his desire in every part of my body. He wants me and I enjoy being wanted. He does not repulse me at all. It’s not like with Daniel, I actually liked this man from the start, I was simply too afraid to express it.
The restless spontaneity that he has awakened in me scares me, but I don't push him away, I simply give in to the burning passion. I had never imagined before that a kiss could feel so nice. As soon as he stops, I lean in for more. He presses me against the nearest tree and starts to undress me. I let him do whatever he likes, captivated by the spark in his eyes and the alluring smile. This is all so new to me, I can’t even understand why, but I yearn for him just as much as he yearns for me, although just a while ago I wanted to escape him. A sensation of warmth increases and amazing waves of bliss spill over me. I embrace him and pull him closer, just to feel his body close to mine.
He eventually lifts me up and carries me to the soft moss I have been planning to rest upon. As he lies on top of me, I suddenly feel that the warmth in my lower belly has gotten even stronger. I desperately yearn for something, but can’t tell what it is. I focus on his eyes, dark like the sky above. He holds my hands in his, but releases his grasp a little as his hand travels down to my belly. He lingers there, as if he can feel the warmth and wants to grasp it. His eyes lock with mine again, sensing the consuming nervousness. I'm surprised that it does not hurt when he enters me, it seems so natural. Our bodies were simply meant to intertwine, just like the trees that have grown into one. I feel no guilt, no shame, I simply give in to our sacred dance.