The Women of Duck Commander (24 page)

At that time, we thought Mia’s condition could be “fixed.” The doctors talked to us about a years-long schedule of surgeries. With so many procedures, we assumed, surely they could eventually make her mouth, palate, jaws, and other affected areas just like those of other children. That is not the case. Because Mia was born with her condition, the way her bones grow—or don’t grow—impacts everything else. We have come to realize this condition cannot be “fixed” but will be managed for the rest of her life. We have been on a medical journey with her since before she was born, and we will be on it for years to come.

S
HE’S
A
MAZING

At the time of this writing, Mia is almost ten years old. She’s an amazing little girl—confident, secure, well liked, and quite sassy and spunky. I could go on and on listing her good qualities. She is a leader among her girl cousins; whenever a group gets together, they want to know if Mia will be there. They love and support her, and she loves and supports them. Mia’s brothers adore her and would take up for her in a split second if anyone ever gave her trouble, and she gets a kick out of hearing them say that to her.

Because of issues with Mia’s bone structure and tissue, she is unable to form words the way most people do. But she taught herself to compensate for what she is missing physically and she speaks very clearly. She is not self-conscious; she interacts with others well and has fun wherever she goes.

People seem to love Mia. We have not had any serious experiences with people being unkind to her. One time, when Mia was about six years old, I heard a little girl ask, “What’s wrong with your lip?”

Mia responded matter-of-factly, “I had surgery. You ever had surgery? It’s really cool. I got ice cream.” And that was the end of it. Her difference is not a deficiency, and that’s because she knows how to handle it and she knows how to deal with other people. She does not let it stop her, slow her down, or keep her from doing anything.

Mia has suffered a lot as she has undergone her surgeries, but she
bounces back well from each one. At the time of this writing, she wears headgear. It’s different from what most people think, as it does not wrap around the bottom of her face (like regular headgear for braces). It is specially designed to help align her top jaw with her bottom jaw, because the top one stopped growing due to scar tissue from a previous surgery.

She has to wear the headgear twelve to fourteen hours each day and was told she could not do any physical activity while she wore it. At first, the process of getting it off and on was difficult and painful since her mouth was so sore from the newness of all the attached metal. The doctor told her she did not have to wear it to school but would need to put it on as soon as she got home in order to get in all the hours. The reality of this additional life change for my child brought on a truckload of emotions for me. Since sleep only took care of nine and a half of the required number of hours, she and I both realized she still had at least three to four hours left each day. I was so sad to think she would have to give up riding her scooter, swimming, or jumping on the trampoline with Bella. However, Mia quickly figured out that if she wore the headgear at school, she could resume her normal playtime activities at home. This decision shocked all of her doctors and therapists. They told us that in all their years of practice, they had never had one patient wear it to school because of its visual effect.

Mia is a good patient, but she’s an exceptional kid. We spend many hours sitting in waiting rooms with other families who are going through the same thing we are. We share stories and advice, and we marvel at how these kids cope with their conditions. Jase and I have seen firsthand that all of these kids are exceptional
because of the suffering they endure. Romans 5:3–4 says, “But we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” According to this scripture, character is not something we are born with; it is produced by persevering through suffering. I still pray that Mia will suffer as little as possible in this life, but at the same time I am grateful for what she has gone through. Without her suffering, she would not have the character she has today, the intense love and acceptance she has toward other people, and the enormous generosity that spills from her heart. Because of her character, she gives hope to other families going through similar hardships.

Jase and I are well aware that Mia will have many more challenges in the future. But with the character she has developed, with the faith we have as a family, with our trust that God will never leave us, we are confident she will not only handle them but overcome them and continue to amaze us all.

Part Six

LIFE IN THE LIMELIGHT

Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

MATTHEW 5:16, NIV 2011

24

INTRODUCTION

A Message from the Wives

We are biased, of course, but we honestly believe we have the greatest fans in the entire world. We love them, appreciate them, and try to interact with them as much as possible. Having fans is one of many things we never dreamed would happen to us before
Duck Dynasty
went on television and became a hit. The visibility the show has brought to our family has changed our lives in some ways but not in others. For example, the show has given us lots of exposure, and some people say it has made us famous, but it has not changed who we are as human beings. It’s relieved some financial pressure, but it has not changed our value system. It’s put our family in the spotlight in ways that can be intense, but it has not affected the love and support we have for one another. It has definitely brought us closer together and hopefully it has brought love, laughter, faith, family, and ducks to millions of people around the world.

Korie:
W
E’RE
A
LL IN
T
HIS
T
OGETHER

I think one of the best things about the increased visibility
Duck Dynasty
has brought to our lives is that we all experience it together. We feel blessed to be able to do the show as a family. It’s not like one person suddenly has the attention of the world while the rest of us sit in the shadows. We have heard about families in which one person becomes famous, and it changes their family dynamic completely. The whole family moves to Hollywood and that does not always go well; sometimes the struggles and problems that result are almost insurmountable. When everything centers around one person, it can disrupt the family life.

In our family, we are all in the spotlight together. Fame has happened to all of us at the same time, and that keeps us normal and grounded. As my sister-in-law Jessica says, “We don’t let anyone get too big for their britches.” We see the fame and celebrity for what it is. We appreciate it, but we are not impressed with ourselves because of it. We are able to share both the burdens and the blessings of this unexpected and amazing opportunity, and that helps all of us deal with it better than any of us would on his or her own.

25

LIVING IN A GLASS HOUSE

Lisa

Alan and I did not appear on
Duck Dynasty
until season four, so we have not dealt with the spotlight in the same way others in our family have. We learned about it in an entirely different way that was sometimes just as intense. We were in the ministry for many years, and I found out soon after we started that a minister and his wife live in a glass house. Somehow, it seems that everyone sees, hears, and knows everything that goes on in your life! We quickly learned that we needed to be totally transparent. Now our lives are open books. If people need to know something about us, we want them to hear it from us in the most straightforward way, not through the grapevine after it has been embellished or misinterpreted.

We also want people to know it was God’s power that helped us deal with all the difficulties we have faced through the years. Typically the church is a place where people find hope and healing, but in any church, there are some people who want to know all the “juicy
stuff” about the minister and his family. This goes on everywhere. We are all human beings; some of us want to find the positive attributes of a ministry family, and others, unfortunately, want to find out the flaws and less-than-desirable qualities of church leaders. During our years in ministry, Alan and I learned to speak openly about our flaws and to accentuate what God has accomplished through us in spite of them.

I think one of the saddest things about living in a glass house, especially in the ministry, is that the children of the minister suffer so much during their growing-up years. Some people think the minister’s sons or daughters should be perfect. These people do not take into account that they are children, and they will make mistakes—as all children do. There is no “special potion” we as ministers get to rub on our kids to make them act a certain way! We rub Jesus all over them with our love, devotion, and acceptance of them, but they still make mistakes, just like their minister parents! Okay, enough preaching. I think I might have started meddling. Whether a family lives in the spotlight because of a ministry position, a television show, or some other reason that brings visibility, there are special challenges that come with the increased visibility.