The XOXO New Adult Collection: 16 Full Length New Adult Stories (344 page)

“I better get going.” I slid my spoon onto the saucer of my barely touched coffee and stood up.

Emilio stood up too, and I noticed he was also barefoot. I don’t know why, but seeing his bare feet with a peek of leg hair from under his jeans made me pause. People don’t often show you their feet. It was personal, almost intimate in a way, to see him without socks and shoes on.

“I’ll drive you.”

“Oh no, that’s alright. Jonas said Marco would take me anywhere I needed to go.”

“Marco hasn’t returned from the airport yet.” Emilio observed me, taking in my outfit from the evening before and my makeup free face. It made me feel suddenly very underdone and exposed, without my mask of foundation and coverage. Whatever he saw, I couldn’t deny the hunger that lingered in those marbleized brown eyes. It was enough for me to flick my eyes to the ground and silently struggle with the knot forming in my throat as I swallowed. Jonas didn’t do that to me.

“Um. Okay then. I’d appreciate a ride.”

Emilio slipped on his socks, which had sat on shoes, hidden this entire time underneath his chair. Then, he stood up and reached out to slip his hand through mine, to my utter shock. Forced to follow along, I let him lead me through the house and out the front, where he opened the door to a modest SUV and let me hop in before closing the door behind him. I watched him circle around to the other side while I touched my skin where his fingers had been. The heat from his firm grip still lingered on mine, and the thrill it caused still shot up my arm and into my belly.

I’d underestimated the power of this man in more ways than one, and I was in big trouble.

Audrey

I HEARD THE
slam of a car door and fought the urge to sit up in bed and run out to stalk my sister. I knew where she’d gone, and whom with. It was whom with that I didn’t agree to. My sister was playing with fire, and I didn’t want to see her get burned.

The door to our room clicked softly shut, and I listened to her rustle about the room. I sat up, one earbud in my ear, listening to my MP3 player. I didn’t even think she saw me as she dropped her bag and headed straight to the bathroom.

When she shut the door behind her, Saul sat up and turned his blind eyes toward me, lifting an eyebrow. “Was that Liv?”

“Yep.” I sighed and closed my eyes. I had to think of something else, anything but Liv. She drove me mad with worry, and I knew what a mother felt like already. Why I’d ever want to have kids to feel this way over and over again was beyond me. How anyone could was something of a mystery to me. I stared out the sheer fabric of the curtains and watched the traffic speed by down the hallway. I suddenly felt a surge of hatred for this motel room, sending my heart fluttering in a dizzying rush.

I was tired of places like this, so temporary, so fleeting. I wanted to settle down, find a nice place to say longer than a few days or weeks and stay put—just stay. I was tired of just for a while. I wanted a forever kind of place.

“What are you thinking about so hard about over there?” Saul leaned on his arm, the sheet partially covering his stomach but exposing his muscular chest. For a blind man, he sure took care of himself. It was a sight I never got tired of; hardened chest and rippled stomach. His skin was smooth, and he let the hair grow down his midsection like a road to somewhere sweet.

“Oh, nothing...” I pulled my eyes from his body. My body was betraying me like sex addict. I liked how he made me feel. I just didn’t do anything about it. I wasn’t sure what was worse—wanting something you could have and not acting upon it, or wanting something you couldn’t have. Why I was frozen in my spot and hadn’t hit that, blew my mind. Every opportunity I got with Saul, I would turn away like a scared school girl. Why did I do this to myself?

“You’ve got more than nothing hanging in that brain of yours.” Saul rubbed his face and ran his fingers through his hair. His unruly brown hair stuck up in all directions, some falling in his eyes. I wanted to jump over to his bed and push the strand away before I devoured his lips.

“Just thinking about life. Why do things have to be so complicated?” I nodded toward the bathroom, but he couldn’t see my motions, so I continued. “Liv’s doing this crazy act with Jonas, and I don’t like it one bit. I know I have to let it play out, but I don’t have to like it.”

Saul stood up and headed toward my side of the room. Feeling for the bed, he made his way toward me and sat so close, I could feel his body heat radiating off him in hot, swift waves. This alone sped my heart to a frantic pace, and I found myself holding my breath.

“You don’t, and I’m impressed on how you’ve handled your sister your entire life. A lot of people would’ve left their unruly siblings in the foster care system. Not you. You’re strong and persistent, with an enormous capacity for giving.” He reached up slowly, as to not poke me in the eye I guess, and found my face. His large hands felt warm and soft as he touched my cheek and made his way to brush my hair behind my ear.

I had to let out a soft, strained breath. He had my insides turning to mush.

“Thank you. No one has ever told me that.”

“Sometimes it’s good to hear we’re doing a good thing in life. So many people walk past each other without noticing the amazing beings they are just passing by.”

I smiled, flicking my eyes from one side of his face to the other. His eyes sucked me in, and I wanted to fall so badly. If only I could make the first move...but I couldn’t. I was frozen.

But I didn’t have to make the decision this time. Saul cupped my chin with both hands and drew me forward, letting our noses touch for a brief moment before his lips met mine. His kiss was soft, tender, and somehow asking for more. I sucked in a breath and waited, not knowing if I should run or let this happen. Saul answered my questions with another kiss, harder this time, hungrier, and demanding for more.

Kissing him back with an equal ache, I let my arms reach for him and wrapped them around his neck as he pulled me closer. Our tongues touched, our lips opening to let each other devour the other. My soul relaxed, feeling the need no longer to hold the barriers up around my heart as Saul continued to kiss me, taking my fears away with one swift touch.

When the moment passed and I pulled away slightly to look into his eyes, I saw what I wanted to see and smiled.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while now,” Saul whispered into my ear, sending even more shocks down my spine.

“Me too.” I sighed, letting my fingers toy with his dark hair.

His smile lit my world, and I suddenly didn’t feel so alone in this fierce world. His fire was heating me up inside like a fury that demanded love with every ounce of my body.

“Too bad Liz is home.”

I nodded. “Yeah. Bad timing.”

“Come on.” He stood up and held his hand out for me. I took it tentatively and gave him a quizzing look. “Get dressed. I need to show you something.”

He pulled me to my feet, and I pressed into his chest, savoring the feeling of his hardened muscles under my breasts. His touch alone did crazy things to me. I could imagine what the rest of him could do if we had more alone time together. Of all the times for Liv to show up; I gave my head a tiny shake and smiled at the irony of it all.

“What are you going to show me?”

“A place I loved when I could see.”

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A
lexia currently lives in Las Vegas, Nevada–Sin City! She loves to spend every free moment writing or playing with her four rambunctious kids. Writing has always been her dream, and she has been writing ever since she can remember. She loves writing paranormal fantasy and poetry and devours books daily. Alexia also enjoys watching movies, dancing, singing loudly in the car and eating Italian food.

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By Dani Hart

To my husband, best friend, and hero to many.

Thank you for never giving up on me

and for not letting me give up on myself.

––––––––

In the darkness, there's light. Sometimes it just takes you to see it.

T
here was a time in my life when the light within me shined so brightly. At some point I lost it. I lost me. Life used to course through my veins like an out of control wildfire, unstoppable and infectious. Time was supposed to heal, but all it did was slowly strip me down to an empty vessel void of passion, desire, and drive. I wanted to scream, "Be the one to save me," but my soul was drained, my heart was shattered, and time had siphoned the life out of me.

As I sat in my gas guzzling black SUV, I blared the music to drown out the screams of my two kids fighting in the back seat. My son was seven and my daughter was four. God, how I loved them, but at the same time, I wanted to run away from it all. Before I knew it, I was at my son's carpool drop off and headed to my daughter's preschool. I was on autopilot these days. I kissed her goodbye as she clutched her arms around my neck, protesting my departure. Her teacher scooped her up in her arms and carried her into the classroom full of rambunctious kids. I half-smiled at some familiar faces as I made my way back to the car. I was so numb; I barely recognized myself anymore. I started the car and drove out of the school parking lot and back home to an empty house, left alone with my thoughts, left alone with the memory of
him
. I thought he was just a fleeting moment, but I was wrong. It was so much more. I was at a crossroads. Fate had finally given me a choice.

My heart was bursting at the seams, longing to feel again. My skin was crawling with anticipation for the next fix of sensation that traveled from my fingers to my toes to my core. Was it my time, or was it too late, as I had convinced myself of so long ago? He made me feel again, but I hadn't decided if I loved or hated him for it. It took only one moment to destroy the walls that years of pain and disappointment had built. To destroy me. To make me want more. Only I didn't know if I deserved more. I had two wonderful kids, a beautiful house, and a compassionate husband who loved me more than he should. Something had been lost over the years, and I didn't know how to get it back, or if it was even possible. We met and fell in love so young, during the years flooded with insecurities and emotionally-charged hormones that you couldn't tell what was genuine and what was just a fabric of our current states of mind. I had been insecure. Who was I kidding? I still was.

I had an unusual name, Lennox. I was thirty-two, although most who didn't know that, mistook me to be in my twenties. I had a petite frame and a pretty decent body. My hair was dark brown, for now. I changed it frequently. I used to have fight, but it had since been replaced with anxiety medications and depression. I was letting myself go, too tired to even go for a walk anymore. I wanted so much more for myself in the past. I loved to write and dream and feel inspired. I had always been ruled by my emotions, which had contributed to the extreme highs and lows in my life, but to feel numb was a curse that I had been living with for too many years that I would now fight against. Fight for the feelings that once inspired my soul and warmed my heart, because I saw him and a shock of life brought me to my knees and begged for more, shamelessly. Practically a stranger now, an angel, my redemption.

The familiar sound of a text message snapped me out of my daze. I couldn't stop thinking about this weekend.

It was my husband, Dean.

Dean: Love you and miss you

I threw the phone down without responding. He was a firefighter for the city and worked all the time. He was home maybe two days a week. The big joke among all the firefighter wives was that we were essentially "single" moms. So much independence and time away had taken its toll on our marriage. If we weren't arguing, we were ignoring each other.
What happened to us?
I missed us. He was my best friend, and I longed to relive the moments of our distant past.

I needed someone to talk to. Someone who could relate and understand what it was like to live like this. To be alone for so long and have drop-by visits occasionally. I had become friends with another firefighter's wife. It was difficult to connect with her though because her husband worked a different shift than Dean, so during the times our husbands were actually home we spent it with our own families. Plus, she still had a baby at home, and she was one of those perfect moms who devoted her entire life to her kids. I was like that, but to what end? I was depressed and felt trapped because I never did anything for myself. I saw her path and the twisted turn it would take when she too wore down, but it wasn't my place to say anything to her. Not unless she asked.

I grabbed my phone and dialed her number.

"Hello?" she answered jovially.

"Hey, Jess. It's Len."

"Hey! How are you? I've been meaning to call you. It's been so crazy over here."

Her devotion to her family oozed from her tone. "It's going. Are you around today?"

"Tim is home today, so we're fixing some stuff around the house. We seriously have to get together soon, though. This opposite schedule thing is crazy."

"Yeah. Okay, well, just give me a call when you're free."

"I'll talk to Tim and let you know. We'll make it happen soon. I promise."

"Great. Talk to you soon. Bye," I said as I ended the call. She meant well, but I knew her promises wouldn't be kept. She was too consumed by the fantasy of a flawless life to see the imperfections of the world around her. She was a reflection of me five years ago. I needed someone who portrayed the present me and there were plenty of us out there, but I never made much of an effort to become friends with them. Maybe I needed to now. They had always tried. The wives seemed so supportive, and I was so distant. They had formed this whole community called
Firefighter Wife.
The internet made support more attainable, so there were many of these communities now.