Lily woke up alone in Nate’s colossal bed. She’d never seen a bed so huge in her entire life. It was even bigger than the bed he’d bought
her
and she thought that was the biggest bed she’d ever seen.
She listened for a moment to the silence in the enormous room and wondered where Nate was. She rolled languorously to her side to see if there was an alarm clock and she saw it was nearly nine thirty.
She blinked at it in surprise. She hadn’t slept that late in years. Lily didn’t even think she had the capacity to sleep later than seven o’clock.
She rolled onto her back and contemplated the ceiling and the softness of Nate’s sheets, which were other-worldly soft.
Nate, she realised, if he was anything like he used to be, must be at work.
She threw the covers back and headed to the bathroom while thinking rather contentedly about the night before and, especially, more-than-contentedly, that morning.
Surprisingly, Nate hadn’t made love to her after they agreed to get married. He’d finally kissed her (after their mortifying exchange about contraception which she did not want to remember, ever).
But that was it.
Well, not
it
exactly as he kissed her a great deal throughout the evening, held her from behind and nuzzled her neck as she was talking to Fazire (luckily, Fazire knew she was usually disoriented after a migraine and thus didn’t press her as to why she was, all of a sudden, at Nate’s place in London) and linked his fingers in hers while they ate the food he’d had delivered.
Later, they finally went to bed, Lily wearing one of the nightgowns Laura had bought her. Laura didn’t purchase twenty nightgowns, she’d purchased three, four sets of underwear, two outfits, three pairs of shoes and two huge bags full to the brim with toiletries and cosmetics of every size, shape and colour. Laura could shop for England in the Olympics and win the gold medal, hands down.
Once in bed, Nate had pulled her back to his front and wrapped his arm around her waist. Then he’d pressed his face in her hair, just like he used to do and in that moment Lily had given herself the momentary luxury to allow the eight years simply to melt away.
Then, she laid in bed waiting. Nothing.
“Um… Nate?” she’d whispered into the dark room.
“Mm?” The murmur sounded behind her and his arm tightened about her waist.
She didn’t know what to say. So she said, “Never mind.”
She realised she was slightly disappointed. Then she realised she was more-than-slightly disappointed. She hadn’t exactly gone there to throw herself at him just piece her family back together. But they
had
just agreed to pledge their troth. Certainly some sort of celebratory consummation effort was in order.
“You’re not yourself,” Nate said softly.
“What?” Lily asked.
“I’ll make love to you when you’re recovered. Right now, you’re still not yourself.”
“Oh,” she whispered.
Something about that made her heart flutter. She didn’t understand completely why but she felt it was important.
“Go to sleep, darling,” he murmured into her hair.
She decided she liked it when he called her darling. She knew she shouldn’t but that didn’t change the fact that she did.
Exhausted from the day’s events, in fact, the events of the past two weeks and in his comfortable bed with his warmth behind her, she fell into a deep sleep the like of which she had not had for years.
She woke, what seemed a year later, rested, relaxed, contented… and aroused.
“Nate?” she mumbled sleepily.
Apparently Nate had decided she was herself again for, at the sound of her voice, he took his hand away which had been up the hem of her nightgown, cupped at her breast with two fingers not-so-idly fondling her nipple. He flipped her on her back and in an instant he became her entire world. His hands, his mouth, his tongue, they were everywhere and the vague sense of relaxed, contented arousal boiled away in seconds as hot desire flooded through her.
She gloried in it, had been waiting years for it and now she knew it was finally to be hers.
Within minutes he had her meagre clothing off her body and the heat surging through her like a burn. She was moaning his name, her hands in his hair as his mouth was at first tormenting one breast then the other then down, down…
Then he stopped and his head jerked up dislodging her hands. Abruptly his body fell to the side, its weight coming off her and his immense heat leaving her made Lily feel suddenly cold.
Disoriented, she tilted her chin down to see what had stopped him and her body stilled at what she saw.
Nate was laying on his side, up on his elbow and his eyes were riveted to her belly.
It had been eight years since anyone had seen her naked and in the heat of the moment, the thrill of the sensations, she’d forgotten all about it. She wasn’t the biggest fan of her body, in fact, she mostly disregarded it, it did what it was told most of the time and that’s all she required of it.
Now, she felt vulnerable and embarrassed, especially that he was looking at her stomach. It wasn’t precisely her favoured area of her body, not that she had a favoured part of her body.
Lily’s flushed face started to burn and she looked down to see what caught his attention and then saw the scar from Tash’s c-section.
It wasn’t hideous but it
was
a scar and scars were never very attractive. She saw his hand reach out toward it and she grabbed it in embarrassment before he could touch her. She wanted to throw the covers over her but his eyes moved to hers.
The instant they locked on hers, she became mesmerised by them. They were glowing with something she couldn’t read but whatever it was made her forget her embarrassment entirely.
“Tash?” he asked, his voice husky.
She nodded, wondering what he was thinking.
Then to her astonishment, his head bent and his lips touched the scar at one end and slowly ran along the length of it.
“Nate,” she whispered, witnessing his tender gesture, the tears suddenly came, clogging her throat, making her voice croaky.
And then she couldn’t think of crying, couldn’t think of his tenderness because he’d shifted his body and his head was going down even more, his mouth finding her between her legs and all she could think about was what he was doing to her, what he was making her feel and the absolute beauty of it.
He made her climax with his mouth and while she was in the throes of it, the waves of pleasure sliding through her body, he surged up and filled her. She cried out his name as he drove into her, not being gentle in the slightest, his thrusts were sheer, controlled violence. It was a possession, a claiming and his hand came between them, went straight to the highly sensitised core of her even before she’d completed her orgasm, bringing another one instantly.
She was panting, clawing at his back, mindlessly whispering his name between breaths, wrapping her legs around his hips as the glorious sensations tore through her at having him again. She loved the feeling of him slamming into her just like she’d dreamed so many nights and even daydreamed during the light hours.
And finally, when she was certain she’d live for eternity in the heady spasm of a climax, his hand came from between them, both his hands lifted her hips and he drove into her one last time, moaning his release into her mouth.
After, Lily lay there, the weight of Nate pressed against her, his face buried in her neck, her limbs wrapped lovingly around him and she allowed herself the tiniest moment of joy that they finally, after years and years, had the beauty of what they used to share back.
His head lifted and his mouth came to hers.
“Sweeter than I remembered,” he murmured against her lips and she was so intoxicatingly spent she could do nothing but nod.
Lily didn’t remember that he’d told her that he
did
remember everything. Therefore, she had no idea what his words meant.
It wouldn’t have mattered anyway, she’d just had a multiple orgasm during a coupling with a lover, not just a lover, her dream man who she thought had been dead for eight years.
She was beyond processing the importance of murmured statements after climax.
Instead, she immediately began to drift to sleep. Her eyes were closed and Nate was stroking the hair away from her temple. She thought that felt nice.
“Lily?” She heard his soft, deep voice still rough with desire.
“Just going to rest my eyes a bit,” she mumbled something her grandmother Sarah used to say before napping. She wrapped her arms and legs tighter around him, he was still on top of her, still inside of her and she nuzzled her face in his neck.
On her trip to dreamland, she felt Nate’s body shake with amusement and normally she would have found this irritating but she was, at that moment, way,
way
beyond irritation.
It had, Lily thought, as she took a shower in his shower cubicle that could have easily fit three (or even more) people, been a little slice of heaven. As she scrubbed the peony scented bath gel that Laura bought her into her skin with the fluffy sponge Laura also bought her, she looked around Nate’s state-of-the-art bathroom (it took her five minutes to figure out how to work the taps in the shower) and distractedly realised it was bigger than Natasha’s bedroom.
This luxuriousness brought other things to mind.
Marriage to Nate, Lily thought, might not be that bad. Firstly, Natasha would have her father. Secondly, Natasha would learn how to ride a horse, indeed, at the rate Nate was going, she would likely own one by the end of the week. Thirdly, perhaps, just perhaps he
would
take care of them.
He certainly dropped everything to take care of Lily yesterday. She’d seen his work spread across his massive, twelve-seat dining room table last night. She could imagine what a penthouse apartment cost not to mention being able to throw around fourteen million pounds in a week, buy her a Mercedes
and
whatever Nate had arranged for Tash’s trust fund.
Eight years ago, he’d worked relentless twelve hour days and even, sometimes, made business calls to different time zones in the evenings. It likely wasn’t so easy for Nate McAllister to drop everything because the wayward mother of his child happened by for a surprise visit and then had a medical semi-emergency.
She stepped out of the shower and towelled off, wrapping the thick towel around her hair and sorting through Laura’s various tubs and bottles – at least a two year supply for Lily, even if she could have afforded those brands, which she couldn’t.
While Lily lotioned her body and went about putting on her face, she also resolutely set aside
how
Nate took care of her yesterday. She didn’t think of his soft voice or the intense feeling flowing through it when he spoke. She didn’t think of him carrying her urgently to the car or pressing a flannel to her head or urging her to tell him how he could help. And lastly, she tried not to think of his admission that she scared the hell out of him and what that might mean.
They would be husband and wife so they could be mother and father to Tash, a family whole at last, just as Lily had while growing up. Lily was happy to accept all that came with it, the companionship (if it lasted), the lovemaking (which was
very
nice and always had been), the security (clearly, Nate could take care of them financially, they most likely would never have to worry again about the fridge breaking down and what that might mean to their grocery budget).
She would let him, indeed, welcome him into her home, her life, her family and her bed.
But she was going to have to guard her heart.
Nate wasn’t going to let her in to his that was clear. She’d practically had to beg him to tell her she’d scared him with her migraine.
Therefore, she wouldn’t,
couldn’t
let him in to hers. Not again.
They were, she thought as she put on one of Laura’s outfits, strangers that somehow seemed to be closer, have more of a history than they actually did, merely because everything had been so intense, so much compacted into such a short period of time.
But they
were
strangers and Lily had to remember that.
She combed out her wet hair one last time as Nate had no hair dryer (alas), mussed it with her fingertips and she looked at herself and her new outfit in the mirror.
The skirt was so long it was to her ankles, white, flowy and tiered with a pretty, minty-green, gauzy top that was nearly so sheer you could see through it. It’s wide neckline fell off her shoulder, exposing the strap of the pastel green camisole and matching bra she wore under it. The top was belted at the waist with a piece of wide fabric that matched the blouse.
Laura had exquisite taste. Lily tried not to think of the expense of the clothes, she knew the designer names in the labels and shuddered at what they likely cost. She resolved to find a way to pay Laura back and soon. She really didn’t want to be indebted to the Roberts.
Lily strapped on the gold sandals she wore the day before and walked out of the bedroom and down the hall in search of food to quell the growling in her stomach. She wondered if Nate still had his groceries delivered but figured he likely did, the idea of Nate wandering the aisles of a grocery store was so preposterous, it made her smile.