To Be a Family (Harlequin Superromance) (21 page)

“How
is
John?” Katie asked,
dreading the answer. She hadn’t seen him all week. She’d been busy finishing her
book, and hurting too much to be with him right now. If they still had a future
it wasn’t going to be the future either had hoped for. A long-distance romance
on either end of a Skype connection wasn’t her idea of a relationship.
Temporarily, okay, but not for any duration. She missed him, and she missed
Tuti. It was a taste of what was to come and she didn’t like it.

“He’s being all stoical,” Riley said. “But he’s hurting.”

“How did his interview in Brisbane go?”

“He’s on the short, short list. They’ve narrowed it down to him
and another guy. Or I should say, a woman.” Paula looked at her funny. “Didn’t
he tell you?”

“We had a fight at the cottage. I haven’t spoken to him since.”
More than a fight, it had been a goodbye.

“You, fighting?” Riley said. “That must have been
something.”

“It wasn’t nice.” Katie grimaced. “Raised voices, practically
yelling.”

Paula exchanged a glance with Riley and bit her lip to suppress
a grin. “Sounds desperate. What was it about?” she added more
sympathetically.

“Tuti, to begin with. I know he’s her dad and he has final say
but if we married I would have a say, too. We are so at odds sometimes with how
we approach parenting. If we can’t agree on basics it would be hell to live
together, both of us duking it out over who knows best. I’ve seen kids from
unstable homes. They’re not happy kids. I would hate to put Tuti or any child of
our own through that.”

“That’s just fine-tuning. The main thing is, you both love her
and want the best for her,” Riley said. “Paula and I have been having
discussions lately about Jamie. You don’t have to always agree—”

“But if one parent lays down the law, the other one has to back
him or her up,” Paula finished.

“Exactly.” Riley gave his wife a high five.

Katie smiled at their tag-team antics. She took a breath before
admitting the rest. “Then…then we moved on to what happened when I was sick with
cancer. It wasn’t rational, just emotional. All sorts of horrible stuff dredged
up from years ago.”

“Maybe it was good that you got it out,” Riley said.

“I don’t know.” She poked at her dinner with chopsticks,
suddenly not hungry. “Mum and Dad never fought like that.”

Riley shrugged. “Dad was a military man, used to being in
command. And he has a temper. He’s got it under control but I remember times he
lashed out. Nothing abusive but he would stomp around as if he was giving his
troops a dressing-down. Mum hated confrontation so she avoided saying anything
that got him riled up. I recall a lot of tense silences.”

Now that he mentioned it, her parents
had
spent a lot of time apart, her mother in the kitchen working on
recipes for her next cookbook, her father in the shed doing some woodworking
project. They’d done their own thing a lot—nothing wrong with that. She’d
assumed they had different interests and gave each other space.

John was great that way. At the cottage he’d gone out of his
way to give her time to write, making meals, bringing her cups of coffee and
snacks. If he needed to find himself on Tinman Island, she wanted him to feel
free to do that. She wished she could go with him, support him, but…

“Every couple fights at times,” Paula said, breaking into her
thoughts. “It’s natural. When you don’t air your grievances but keep everything
bottled up inside, that’s when your relationship is in trouble.”

“Do you guys fight?” Katie looked from Paula to Riley, not
prepared to believe it for a second.

“Yes, even we fight.” Riley rolled his eyes. “You should see
how pissy she gets when I leave my socks on the floor.”

“That’s not fighting.” Katie waved away Riley’s attempt at
lightening the atmosphere. “The last time John and I had a big fight we didn’t
see each other for seven years. What if that happens again?”

“What did he do that was so horrible?” Paula asked.

Katie ticked off the crimes on her fingers. “He wouldn’t
support my medical choices. He left me on my near-death bed. He went straight to
another woman’s arms, had a child and went on to become a womanizer.”

Even as she spoke she realized it was all a long time ago. And
in many ways, her actions had led to his actions.

He’d changed. She’d changed. How long was she going to hang on
to the past?

“But you’ve fallen in love with each other again. That’s got to
mean something,” Paula said. “Surely you can forgive and forget.”

“He’s moving away,” she said. “He’ll forget me.”

And with that, the fear came flooding back. She knew she was
being irrational. She tried instead to think of the fun times—of which there
were plenty—but she’d been in this mind-set for so long it was hard to break
free.

Riley shook his head. “You are the most confident woman I know
besides Paula—except when it comes to John. I just don’t get it. What’s holding
you back? The guy is crazy about you. Always has been.”

“Yeah, well…” She didn’t get it, either. “He hasn’t called me
since we got back from the cottage.”

“He knows you’ve been busy getting your book finished.” Paula
pushed her plate away and wiped her fingers on a napkin. “You should call
him.”

“Don’t screw the guy around,” Riley said. “He loves you.”

Katie reached for the spring roll again. Riley grabbed the box
and held it aloft. “Not till you say you’ll call John.”

She withdrew her hand. “Changed my mind. I don’t want any more
spring rolls.” When Riley lowered the box she grabbed a piece. “Ha-ha.”

“Siblings. Honestly. How old are you two?” Paula rolled her
eyes. “Makes me glad I’m an only child.”

Riley slung an arm around her shoulders and hauled her close to
plant a smacking kiss on her cheek. “You know you don’t mean that. Katie’s your
sister now. You can give her crap whenever you want.”

Paula pinched his cheek, the full wattage of love shining in
her eyes. Looking on, Katie’s heart ached with happiness for them and envy for
herself. She wanted some of what they had. She threw a crumpled napkin at her
brother. “Hey, get a room.”

Riley and Paula drew apart sheepishly.

She’d experienced deep love with John. Her greatest longing was
for it to be a lasting love. If only fear didn’t get in her way. She rubbed her
gritty eyes and stifled a yawn. Her book was done. Maybe all she needed was a
good night’s sleep and she would feel normal again.

“Do you guys mind if I call it a night?” She stifled another
yawn. “I’m really tired.”

As she was showing them out, Riley asked, “So, will you call
John?”

“I don’t know.” She had a lot to think about. It seemed to her
that her problems were bigger than what had happened between her and John. Was
it possible she’d completely misinterpreted the nature of her parents’ love and
marriage?

Could
she
be the one searching for
a love that was unattainable?

* * *

“J
OHN
, J
OHN
!
” Patty rushed into his office on Monday morning,
waving an envelope. She stopped short in the doorway, her red curls bouncing,
and tried to look contrite. “I mean, Senior Sergeant Forster.”

“It’s okay.” John glanced up from the stack of paperwork he was
wading through, the flotsam and jetsam of a week away from the office. An
envelope. If he’d been successful with the Tinman Island job he would have got a
phone call from Queensland late Friday. No word had come through. Had Barkin
sent a letter instead? Snail mail didn’t bode well.

“What is it?” As calmly as he could he held out his hand.

“It’s a letter from the Chief Commissioner.” Patty gave him the
letter then waited in front of his desk, her hands clasped, the toes of her high
heels tilting together. “Are you going to open it? Is this the job you applied
for? We’re going to miss you, boss.”

“Settle down, Patty. It’s from the Victorian state government,
not Queensland.” John slit open the envelope. “It’s probably the memo
accompanying the quarterly budget, telling me to cut back on postage
stamps.”

“Oh.” Patty’s face fell. “I saw the government logo and
thought… Would you like a coffee? I can run to the bakery for one of those
pastries you like. Boss?”

John scanned the letter from the Department of Government
Services. “I don’t believe it.”

“I can take the mail around to local addresses on my lunch
break to save on postage if that would help,” Patty said.

“Thank you, Patty, but that won’t be necessary.” John glanced
up and grinned. “The building extension I applied for has been approved in the
rush of government spending leading up to the election. To go with the new
offices, we’ll get five uniformed officers, two detectives and two admin
staff.”

Patty clapped her hands together. “And air-conditioning?”

“And air-conditioning,” John said expansively. “Go spread the
word. The dark days are over.”

Patty hurried out. He could hear her excited squeals in the
bull pen through his open office door.

Well. He’d applied for the upgrade to Summerside Police
Department’s facilities and staffing two years ago. Finally, it had come
through. It wasn’t the kind of challenge he’d been hoping for but if he stayed
in town he would have his hands full in the next few years overseeing the
building and the expansion of his force. Once everything was up and running a
promotion would very likely be in order for him.

He could stay in Summerside. See where things went with Katie.
Would she say yes to his marriage proposal if they were going to live here in
the village?

He didn’t know how long the phone had been ringing when the
sound finally penetrated. Automatically he reached for the handset. “Hello?”

“John.” It was the deep, bluff voice of Allan Barkin.

Here it came, the you-were-close-but-no-cigar speech. Well, he
had a consolation prize—both the addition to the station and Katie.

So why did he feel let down?

He almost didn’t hear what District Commissioner Barkin said.
“I’m sorry. Could you repeat that?”

Barkin cleared his throat. “I said, the selection panel has
unanimously decided to offer you the position of Commander of Tinman Island
Police Department. If you’re still interested in the job.”

“I—” John leaned back, running a hand over his jaw. “Thank you,
sir. It’s an honor to be considered let alone be offered the job.”

“I detect some hesitation, Senior Sergeant.”

“It’s all happened very suddenly. I have…family matters I need
to consider. Could I have a day to think about it?”

“I understand. Well, you’re aware of our time constraints. Let
me know by this time tomorrow. Since it’ll be Saturday I’ll give you my private
number.”

“I’ll do that.” John rose to his feet, resisting the urge to
salute his empty office. “And thank you again, sir.”

He hung up and blinked dazedly. First the expansion approval.
Now this. It never just rains, it pours.

He had overnight to decide. He picked up the phone to call
Katie. Then hesitated. She’d already given him her answer. She wanted to stay in
Summerside. The receiver clattered back into the cradle. No, this was something
he had to figure out for himself.

He spent an uncomfortably wakeful night tossing and turning.
Katie or Tinman Island? A professional and personal challenge or the love of his
life? Even if he gave up Tinman Island for Katie there was no guarantee she
would marry him.

Saturday morning he was rattling around his town house like the
last bean in a jar, no closer to making a decision than yesterday. He would end
up flipping a coin if he didn’t get out of the house. There was nothing worse
for a man of action than to be wavering over what to do. He couldn’t think
cooped up. He needed fresh air, open water.

He called his mother and told her his good news, getting the
job at Tinman Island and the funds to expand Summerside police station.

“Congratulations,” Alison said enthusiastically. “Which are you
going to choose?”

“That’s my big dilemma. I have to make a decision quickly and I
need to think. Could you do me a favor and look after Tuti for the afternoon?
I’d like—” Bowing his head, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, I
need
to go surfing.”

“Bring her over anytime,” Alison said. “I’ll be here.”

“I don’t want to go to Grandma’s house,” Tuti complained all
the way there in the car. “Can’t I stay with Katie?”

“You haven’t seen Grandma in over a week. She misses you. Katie
needs time to herself. She’s been working a lot lately.”

“I wouldn’t be any trouble,” Tuti said earnestly.

“I know. But you’re still going to Grandma’s.” He glanced in
the rearview mirror at her. “She loves you, sweetie. Be nice.”

Tuti sighed. “I try,
Bapa
.”

At the house, John carried her backpack and held her hand up
the walk, giving her words of encouragement. The door opened. He tensed, hoping
his mother wouldn’t expect Tuti to run into her arms.

But Alison kissed his cheek and merely smiled at Tuti before
stepping back to let them in. “Have you got time for a coffee?”

“I’d rather get going if you don’t mind,” John said from the
doorstep. “There’s a three-meter break at Gunnamatta.”

Alison turned back to Tuti. “I’m going to make scones. You can
help me if you like. Or you can play on the trampoline. You decide.”

Tuti hesitated, glanced at her father then back at her
grandmother. “Scones?”

John smiled and bent to hug his daughter. “Good girl. I’ll see
you later this afternoon.”

Tuti ran down the hall to the kitchen. Alison watched her
fondly, and then turned back to John. Her expression changed as she peered into
his face. “Is everything okay?”