To Love a Way of Life (12 page)

“Yeah, that’s the something that happened. She was asking how you were and I told her you were teaching a class on Saturday.”

“Ok.”

“She was excited, she said she’s never seen you work. So I offered to bring her down for it.”

“She’ll be insufferable. She’ll tell everyone how amazing I am. No-one can be as amazing as that.”

“She did tell me she’d break me if I hurt you.”

“You should believe her too.”

“I do believe her,” Patrick said.

“So she’s coming down on Saturday.”

“I said I’d drive up while you’re preparing. I can ask Peter to give you a hand with your setup instead of me.”

“Have you spoken to Peter?” Emma asked.

“No. I’ll call this evening, or tomorrow, he should be free for Saturday. He was planning on coming anyway.”

Emma hid her worries by hugging Patrick, “I guess we’re at the stage where you meet my mother.”

E
mma packed her car with her belongings. The pub had a projector, it was usually used for Gaelic Football and Hurling matches but it would be fine for a presentation. She had her laptop, laser pointer, and the worksheets and notes for the attendees. She was ready to go, Patrick was as well.

“I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Try not to murder Mam on the drive down,” Emma said. “But if you do no court would convict.”

“I’m sure we’ll get along,” he said. “Are you nervous?”

“I should be asking you that,” Emma said. “This is a big relationship step.”

“She’ll be lovely, sure we already chatted on the phone.”

“That was your first mistake.”

He bundled her into his arms and kissed her. “Any mother who helped you become the woman you are can be nothing but gold.”

“That’s sweet,” Emma said. “But slightly delusional.”

“Ok, I’ll see you in a few hours. Peter should be joining you in the pub’s backroom soon”

“Ok, I’ll talk to you later.” Emma smiled and waved goodbye as she drove down Patrick’s driveway and towards the pub.

As she walked in she saw Peter was already there. He was drinking a pint. “You ready for business?” He asked.

“I see you’re warming up already.”

“I don’t want to get stage fright.”

“As my beautiful assistant all you have to do is hand out some sheets and look pretty.”

“Don’t you have a sparkling dress for me?”

“I couldn’t find any in burly farmer size.”

“How do you want the room set up?” He asked.

Emma and Peter spent the next hour arranging chairs, setting up the projector and laptop and organising Emma’s notes. The room was ready and they still had an hour left.

“Andy has some sandwiches for us. I told him we’d like a bite to eat.”

They made their way out to the front of the bar. A few people waved and Peter introduced Emma to Andy, the owner of O’Dwyers.

“Will you have a drink?” Peter asked.

“I can’t I’m driving,” Emma said.

“Daniel’s offered to drive us all,” he said. “Go on, have a drink.”

“Ok, a gin and tonic please, Andy.”

They sat with their drinks and sandwiches. Emma hadn’t realised how hungry she was but she had soon eaten everything in sight.

“That will settle your stomach,” Peter said.

“You haven’t talked to Patrick, have you?” She had to get it out of the way.

“About Maia?” He said. “Not yet.”

“So you know I know.”

“I picked it up from what your friend was saying.”

“She has a loud mouth,” Emma said.

“Are you ok?” Peter asked. He had put his hand on Emma’s knee. He really did seem to care.

“I didn’t want to find out the way I did, I wanted to learn about her from Patrick.”

“Ok. I’ll say it to him if you want, and I’ll say no more to you. He can tell you everything.”

“Do you think he’ll be angry?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Patrick angry,” Peter said. “Annoyed, yes. Ready for action, definitely. But angry at someone, and someone he cares about? That’s just not him.”

“I don’t want to force the situation. I want him to be comfortable telling me.” Emma said.

“It’s complex,” Peter said. “And you’re right, it’s better you hear it all from him. I’ll have a word with him this evening.”

***

A
s Emma finished up her class she could see the looks of relief on everyone’s face. It had run longer than she had imagined. She had everything she wanted to cover out of the way after forty five minutes, it was the questions that kept everyone there.

Both Peter and Patrick told Emma to go sit with her mother, they’d clear up her things.

She sat next to her mother, “So Mam, you’ve seen me at work.”

“You’re good,” she said. “And you look happier than I’ve seen you in weeks.”

“I think I am happier.”

“This country sun is good for you, you’re getting a little tan on your skin.”

“That means I should wear more sunblock, Mam.”

“You can get Patrick to apply it to your hard to reach places!” Mary said.

“Jesus, Mam,” Emma said. “I hope your conversation on the drive down wasn’t like that.”

“No, no fun at all. He was the perfect gentleman.”

“He is a gentleman, he’s kind and he cares for me.”

“I know,” she said. “I can see it in his eyes. He’s good for you.”

Patrick and Peter joined them at the table. “My nose was itching,” Patrick said.

“Yes, Mam was saying I’m lucky to have you,” Emma said.

“I’m surprised you could pull him away from Stan,” Peter said. “They were nigh on inseparable.”

“Where is Stan?” Emma asked.

“Daniel has him,” Patrick said. “I didn’t want him in the car all the way up to the city and I didn’t want him left in the pub when you were setting up.”

“Who’s the baby brother and who’s the older brother in the relationship?” Peter asked.

“I think Stan thinks he’s in charge.”

“At least you don’t think he’s your baby,” Mary said. “Some of those celebrities and the way they treat their pets. First class seats on flights and everything, it’s not like they don’t have real children.”

Emma looked at Patrick, he was smiling at her, not a happy smile but kind and reassuring. She knew instantly Peter had talked to him. That he had let Patrick know Emma knew about Maia. His face filled with emotion, it was subtle and she didn’t think her mother noticed.

“Will you help me carry down some drinks, Mary?” Peter asked. “It’d do me wonders to be seen with a woman around here.” He looked at Emma and gave her an encouraging smile.

Mary stood and Peter took her arm, they both made their way to the bar.

“I didn’t—“ Emma began.

“I know you know about Maia,” Patrick said. “I wanted to tell you, but in the right way.”

“I know that,” Emma said. “Mrs. Reidy let it out.”

“Mrs. Reidy doesn’t have a clue what she’s talking about half the time. Her relish is good but she shoots her mouth off.”

“I don’t want you to blame her,” Emma said.

“I didn’t want you to find out like that,” he said. “I want you to know the full story, everything.”

“That’s why you told me about your business in London,” she said. “You wanted to see how I’d take it.”

“Yeah,” Patrick said. “If that didn’t sit well with you then I couldn’t tell you about Maia.”

“I don’t care about your money, and I don’t want to come between you and your daughter,” Emma said.

“You’re not going to come between us.”

“I know what it’s like to grow up without a father,” she said. “I don’t want to hurt what you have.”

“Emma, please stop. You’re not—“

Mary had escaped Peter’s clutches and was sitting back down. She held a full pint of stout, her own. “Peter’s coming with the rest.”

As the night progressed Emma’s mother filled everyone in on the fishing village nearby. By the end of the night she had even started to cozy up to a bachelor in his fifties. He had a well-kept beard, salt and pepper hair, a cravat, and hat like Indiana Jones. He spent a good half an hour throwing Mary around the room as they danced.

Emma knew the dancing was a good thing. It meant her mother had sweated out some of the many pints she had been downing. She’d be insufferable in the morning, never mind sleeping in the same bed with her. She tried not to think of the snoring.

The pub would be open until the early hours of the morning. It seemed everyone was planning to celebrate learning some bookkeeping by keeping the pub busy long past the legally appointed closing hour. Even the local police sergeant, Garda Hennessy was knocking back the pints.

Daniel was getting tired though, and Emma didn’t blame him. He was the only one not drinking, even Stan had managed to sup on a few spilled pints, and she imagined Daniel had drank enough Coca Cola and orange juices to induce diabetes. As midnight came around he said he’d drive them back. It was a suggestion but everyone knew he wanted to leave, so they grabbed their coats and made their way to his car.

“I’ll have to come back down here,” Mary said she sat into the front seat of Daniel’s jeep. “That Eamonn fella is a fine dancer.” She was sweating.

Peter leaned into Emma as they sat into the back seat. “Gay,” he whispered into her ear as he pointed at Mary.

“Eamonn?” Emma mouthed. Both Patrick and Peter nodded.

Mary’s head was dropping as they arrived at back Patrick’s cottage. “Are you going to bed, Mam?” Emma asked.

“I’ll sleep well, too,” she said.

“You’re snoring will kill me,” Emma said.

“I’m sure there’s other beds your welcome in,” she said before turning and marching towards Emma’s cottage.

Patrick had his arm around Emma’s shoulders and squeezed her when her mother mentioned the beds. “She’s right, you know,” he said. “Come on, I’ll make you a tea and we should talk.”

Patrick flicked on the light in his kitchen and set the kettle to boil. He pulled out tea and some mugs, “Biscuits?” he asked.

“No thanks,” Emma said. “I gorged myself on sandwiches and crisps.”

“We’ll have a proper dinner tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll defrost the lamb Daniel gave me. Your mother will eat it will she?”

“She’ll eat anything, and have second helpings.”

“I should have guessed that, she really goes for life doesn’t she?”

“She’s making up for all the time she spent mothering me,” Emma said.

“I’m sure she loved every minute raising you.”

“You should know,” Emma said. “You’re a father.

Patrick picked up the two mugs of tea and carried them towards the hallway. “Come on, we’ll sit outside and I’ll tell you everything.”

***

E
mma sat on the big double seat and wrapped her hands around her mug. Patrick sat in next to her after he pushed the switch on the big patio heater. Emma felt the instant warmth bathe down on her face, the glowing red of the heater starting to attract moths.

“You have a daughter,” Emma said. She sipped the tea, her favourite; the lush, red berry fruit mix.

“I have a daughter,” Patrick said. “Sort of.”

“Sort of?” Emma asked. She could feel her stomach begin to turn, was he about to play games with her. She never expected it but he had started the truth with her by equivocating.

“I’m not Maia’s parent and I’m not her guardian.”

“But you’re her father.”

“I love her like a daughter, and I’d do anything in the world for her but I’m not her parent.”

“Then what are you?” Emma asked.

“When I was in London I fell in love with her mother. She was working with one of the major firms who outsourced work to us. She had a little girl, three years old, she didn’t know who the father was and she didn’t want to know.”

“You loved her?” Emma asked.

“At the time I thought I did,” Patrick said. “I cared for her, and soon I cared for Maia too. She was adorable, so kind and sweet, everything you could ask for. And I wanted to be with her mother, and so I knew I would care for Maia too.”

“You two married,” Emma said.

“Eighteen months after we met,” Patrick said. “It was a mistake. Things weren’t perfect but I wanted to provide some stability.”

“It didn’t work out.”

“No. She had an affair, probably more than one. But there was at least one I knew about,” he said. Emma held onto his arm, Patrick looked tired recounting this to her.

“She slept with my partner. She said she loved him and wanted a divorce.”

“That didn’t work out either?”

“It lasted three months after we finished up. I think she just liked the romance of new relationships.”

“And that’s why you left London?”

“No,” he said. “I never felt at home there. I was good at what we did but I never felt like it was honest work. I thought the industry was so fake. There’s good people in it but there’s a lot of things that are unpleasant about it.”

“So you came here, to Ballyhane.”

“The divorce was easy, uncontested. She thought she’d be going to live with Harold, and he’d support her. He would have too, men liked her and wanted to be with her. She just couldn’t settle.”

“That can’t be good for Maia.”

“It’s not, and it kills me. She’s never had that stability she needs. Her mother cares for her, and really does love her, but she has to get used to two new boyfriends a year.”

Emma could feel her stomach settle but something else was getting to her. She realised how much Patrick loved Maia, she wasn’t his daughter but that made no difference to him. Emma had worried for her; that somehow she would come between Patrick and his little girl. She now knew that was impossible. She knew from the passion in his voice he would do anything for her, father or not.

“You care for her, I know that.”

“I do. I love her. I can’t compare my love for her to anything else. I care for you Emma but with Maia it’s different,” he said. “You’re a grown woman, you’re strong, you know who you are, you know what you want. I want to protect you but I know I don’t have to.”

“I’ve been unsure of those things those past few weeks.”

“I know, I could see that,” he said. “I wanted to say it to you but I knew you needed time.”

Emma could feel tears forming in her eyes. His voice was so severe, but kind and firm, and sure. Sure of his love, for Maia and for her.