To Love Again: A Sweet Romance (Forty and Free Book 1) (7 page)

“I think I can handle that.” Nicole dipped her chin and smiled. “If we’re being honest, though, I should tell you that I’m not sure that it will lead to anything. I just—I’m not sure if I’m ready for any of this.”
 

“That makes two of us.” He stretched his hand out on the table and opened his fingers to invite her to take it. “Neither of us came here with the intention of meeting someone. But now we’ve met. Why don’t we explore this together?” He watched her as he waited to see if she would take his hand. He wondered if he’d already pushed her away.

When the silk of her fingertips traced along the curve of his palm his eyes fell closed for an instant. When he opened them again, he caught her opening her eyes as well.
 

“I like that idea. I’m sorry if I insulted you.”
 

“You didn’t.” He curved his hand around hers. “You were right. I was falling into old habits. I guess it’s just important to me to try to impress you. I spend most of my days trying to charm and impress people.”
 

“Oh? What do you do?”
 

Gavin relaxed and picked his fork back up. “I’m in advertising. See? I’m used to selling myself.” He grimaced as the impact of his words struck his mind.

Luckily Nicole laughed at his comment.
 

“Then I can understand it, I guess.”
 

“What do you do?”
 

“I’m a script editor.” She shrugged. “Nothing fancy but it lets me work from home.”
 

“Is that important to you?”

“Well, it’s better for the—” She stopped and then cleared her throat. “For the commute. You know, it saves so much on gas and wear and tear on the car.”
 

“Good point. I wish I could save some on that. I’m always driving all over the place to meet with clients.”
 

“No time to put down roots then?” She smiled.
 

His mind flicked back to a conversation with Amy. She’d wanted to put down roots, he’d wanted to wander more than ever. So he bought her a house, and himself a brand new car with great gas mileage.
 

“I’ll admit I haven’t made it a habit. I guess that’s hard to understand.”
 

“Oh, I don’t think so.” Her smile spread even wider. “Sometimes I just stare out the window and think about all the places that I’d like to see. There’s so much world out there and so little time.”
 

He finished his last bite and sat back to look at her. “I would think with your job you’d have the freedom to travel. What holds you back? Was it your husband? Do you have kids?”
 

Her smile faltered just enough that he noticed her lips settled shut. When she spoke again she looked away toward the mountain.
 

“No, no, that wasn’t it. I guess I just felt a sense of obligation, as if work must come first, and pleasure—well, a very far second.”
 

“Ah, a responsible soul. That’s nothing to be ashamed of either. I have a hard time breaking my focus from work, but lucky for me I get to enjoy a good amount of travel with my job. I may have visited many beautiful places, but I share the same neglect of my own desires. I go where the job leads, not always where my heart does.”
 

She looked back at him and he felt some relief to look into her eyes again.

“Where would you go if your heart took the lead?”
 

A flash of heat washed through his body. It contorted his muscles and roiled the blood that pumped through his veins. The answer had always been Amy. How could he say that?
 

“It wouldn’t be a place.” He lowered his eyes.
 

“A time?” She leaned her chin on the heel of her palm. “A favorite memory?”
 

“A feeling.” He cleared his throat.
 

“Oh?” She chased his eyes no matter where he looked until finally he surrendered and allowed the contact. “What kind of feeling?”
 

He slid his plate back along the table and glanced toward the door. “I wonder if Tony is going to come back for any of this.”
 

“Gavin?”
 

With reluctance he looked back toward her. In his attempt to be honest, he’d revealed too much.
 

“I just think these need to get to the kitchen. Maybe we should take them in.” He glanced toward the door again. A gentle squeeze of his fingers brought his focus back to her.
 

“It’s okay.” She met his eyes. He was enveloped by the warmth in her voice. “You don’t have to tell me. Everyone’s entitled to their secrets.”
 

He relaxed as he studied her. “Every time I think that I’ve seen the extent of your beauty, you reveal a little bit more.”
 

“Hm.” She drained her cup of coffee and set it back down on the table. “And every time I start to think that you might be trustworthy, you feed me a line like that.”
 

“It’s not a line.” He tightened his grip on her hand and looked into her eyes. “You can run from it as much as you want, Nic, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s true. It’s how I feel.”
 

She stared across the table at him. He could see her skepticism in her narrowed eyes.

“Nicole.” She stood up from her chair. “No one calls me Nic.”

The lean of her body, the direction of her gaze, and the curl of her fingers on the chair, all warned him that she was going to walk away.

He stood up with no plan of what would happen next, but the moment his hand grasped hers before it could leave the chair, he knew.
 

“I will.” He looked into her eyes. “If you’ll let me.”

Chapter 15

Nicole’s heart fluttered at Gavin’s insistence. She’d never had a pet name, or even a nickname given to her by her ex. In high school, she’d gone through a phase where she’d been Nikki, but since then, it had always been Nicole.

Her instinct was to recoil, and yet she couldn’t get her body to listen. The pressure of his hand against hers had an intoxicating impact on her senses. At this range, the scent of his cologne was all that she inhaled. Each breath she took to calm herself only stoked the heady rush of her desire to ignore her apprehension.
 

“I guess that’s a no to calling you Nic, then?” He grinned.

“I suppose it would be fine.” She stole a glance up into his eyes.

His face relaxed as the tension eased between them. His lips settled into an affectionate smile.
 

“I hear there’s a trail that winds up part of the mountain—waterfalls, towering trees, a meadow or two. Do you enjoy that sort of thing?”
 

“Yes.” She smiled at the thought.
 

“Would you enjoy it with me?” He lifted an eyebrow.

She smiled even wider. “I think I might.”
 

“I’ll take that.” He slid his hand between hers and the chair.

Once he had it cradled, she stepped away from the chair, but she didn’t pull her hand away. Be brave, Nicole, she told herself. Be brave enough to be open to something new.
 

“Shall we?” He gestured toward the steps at the end of the deck.

A quick reminder to herself that she was there to have fun, to enjoy her time, and not to question everything, got her refocused on the moment.
 

“Yes, absolutely.” She tightened her grasp on his hand as he led her down the steps and onto a wide path.

The further they walked into the woods, the more comfortable she became beside him. Neither attempted to speak. He seemed to be drinking in the beauty around them, just as she was.
 

“I used to hike all the time when I was younger.” She smiled.
 

“Oh? I’ve never been much for outdoor sports, but I do enjoy a good walk on a beautiful day. I guess I haven’t left a lot of room in my life for hobbies.”
 

“Yes, things can get so busy so fast and years go by.” She pointed out a butterfly that danced through the air before her. “And this is what you miss.”
 

“Not any more. Now we have the luxury of sharing it.”
 

It did feel like a luxury to Nicole. Not only the sight of the butterfly, but the warmth of his hand against hers. Briefly, she wondered if maybe she was getting too sweaty, but she decided not to worry.

As they approached a gentle upward slope, Gavin squeezed her hand.
 

“Look.” He whispered just beside her ear, then pointed at the trees in the distance.

She looked just in time to catch sight of a doe and her fawn. They almost blended in with the tall grass, but Gavin’s watchful eye had spotted them. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. She assumed it was so that she could see better, but being in his grasp made it difficult for her to focus.
 

“Beautiful.” She managed to mumble the word and waited for him to release her. Instead, he continued to walk forward with his arm around her. The path narrowed as the walked further along it.
 

“You mentioned that you are very focused on your work. Is that the only thing that makes you feel good?” She did her best not to wriggle out from under his arm.
 

“I don’t know if feel good is the right phrase. I struggled a lot with finances when I was young, so when I found my niche and started to make good money from it, I guess it became a little addictive to see those large paychecks.”
 

“But money isn’t everything.”
 

He sighed and paused beside a large rock. “No, it’s not. I know that now. But it was a hard lesson for me to learn.”
 

“If you know that now, then why were you forced into this vacation?” She sat down on the rock.

He sat down beside her but left his arms at his sides.
 

“Well, there wasn’t much else for me to do, other than work. The thought of being alone with my thoughts was a little intimidating.”
 

“So I guess I make a good distraction.” She smiled.
 

“Maybe.” His lips spread so wide that she noticed a hint of a dimple in his cheek. “Or maybe you’re the reason that I don’t feel forced anymore.”
 

“So why the change?” She studied every intricate line of his features. There was a sense of urgency within her to get to know him better.
 

“Well, if we’re being honest, my ex-wife taught me that lesson. I know, it’s probably not appropriate to talk about her.”
 

“Please, don’t worry about that. I’m curious. When you speak about her, it’s so gentle and respectful. I doubt my husband speaks about me that way.” She winced.

He met her eyes. “Ex-husband.”
 

“Huh?”
 

“You said husband, but he’s your ex-husband. Right?”
 

“Yes. I guess…old habits.” She frowned. “Why did your wife leave? Is that too intrusive? I’m sorry.” She shook her head. “I’m sure that crosses a line. I’m not trying to accuse you of anything. I guess my own divorce came as such a shock to me, I wonder if it was the same for you.”
 

“Actually I left her.”
 

Nicole’s eyes widened. She hadn’t expected that. She just assumed from the sorrow in his tone when he spoke of her that he had been the one wounded in the relationship.
 

“Oh.”
 

“Does that bother you?”
 

She blinked and did her best to think through her answer. “Not exactly. But I am curious. I thought you loved her. Why would you leave her?”

She studied him as he formed his answer. His fingers curled, his lips drew back, and a sigh shook his frame.
 

“It’s complicated. Amy was everything to me. I had no intention of ever marrying. I was happy to be single. But when I met her, she changed my mind. We married, and I thought that was it, I guess. I was young, stupid, and ambitious. I thought saying I love you once was all it took. I abandoned her a long time before I filed for divorce. I guess that reveals the truth about me. Hm?”
 

“I don’t know. Somehow I don’t think I’m hearing the whole story.”
 

“The whole story is that she would have loved me forever, but I lost her trust by never being there for her. By the time I noticed the change between us, things were too far gone. She looked at me with this…” He paused and closed his eyes before he continued. “…disgust.”
 

“Oh, I know that look.” She nodded, and her instinct to comfort inspired her to take his hand. “I’m sorry that you went through that.”
 

“Shouldn’t you be sorry for her?” He looked into her eyes.
 

“I’m sorry for anyone who had a great love that went so terribly wrong. It makes me wonder if there ever is such a thing.”

Chapter 16

Gavin shook his head. “I think there must be—such a thing as true love. Why else would people make such idiots of themselves over it?”
 

“I blame greeting cards.” Nicole laughed.

“Oh yes, and whoever makes those insane boxes of chocolates.”
 

“Ha, good point. I told my husband once that I’d much rather have a bag of candy bars.”
 

He raised an eyebrow. There it was again. Yes, she was still hung up on her ex—that was pretty clear. He wasn’t sure if that was something he could get past. But he was not someone familiar with surrender. He would close the deal no matter what it took. Even if that meant pushing her boundaries just a little.
 

“Should we keep going? I’d like to check that trail out over there.” He pointed to a thin trail that would force them to remain close to one another. He wasn’t opposed to using the environment to his advantage.
 

“Are you sure that’s even a path?” She peered at it for a moment.
 

“I’m sure it has to lead somewhere. Want to give it a try?” He offered her his hand.