To Love Again: A Sweet Romance (Forty and Free Book 1) (10 page)

I’m also quite curious about what your adventure with Shawn entailed. Please write back so I can keep my sanity in all of this.

Nicole
 

She sent the e-mail with a push of a fingertip. Her hand trembled a little. Now that she’d expressed it all in text, she could see just how far she’d already fallen. Gavin had her attention, he had her desire, and he had her heart. But did he know that?

The more she pulled away from him the more she was sure that she was sending him the wrong message. It wasn’t fair to tug at him this way. As he’d expressed, either she was in, or she was out.

She needed to figure out what it was that she wanted. He offered his friendship, but that was not at all what she wanted from him.
 

Be brave, Nicole.

She closed her eyes. That last ugly fight between herself and her husband played through her mind—the one where he’d confessed that he hadn’t loved her for years—that every kiss, every intimate encounter, every anniversary gift and every “I love you” spoken had been a lie—that he could barely stand to be around her.

Her eyes tightened to hold back tears. If a man like Jack could turn on her the way he did—if he could profess to adore her and then grow to hate her—wouldn’t the same eventually happen with Gavin?

Chapter 21
 

Gavin headed off to find Tony, but before he could get to him his cell phone rang. When he checked, he saw that the call was from Lance. His grip tightened on the phone. He almost ignored the call. Gavin wasn’t the accessible type. He didn’t have many friends.

But Lance was more than a friend. He’d been there for every difficult experience in Gavin’s life. He felt he owed Lance at least the courtesy of answering the phone. He put the phone to his ear and turned toward a painting that hung on the wall.

“You have the nerve to call me?”
 

“You’re still there, so I must have done something right.” The amusement in Lance’s voice came through loud and clear.

It was a struggle to be annoyed, when he considered the fact that Lance had been absolutely right.

“There might be a few things that caught my attention.”
 

“I’ll bet—a blonde, a brunette, a raven-haired goddess?”
 

“Ha. That’s what you think of me, huh?”
 

“That’s what I hope for you, my friend.” Lance chuckled. “So how’s it going? Are you handing out roses? Kicking anybody off the island?”
 

“It’s not like that. I’m not doing any of the matchmaking activities.”
 

“So, you’re not doing anything? Tell me you’re not just sitting in your room watching television.”
 

“I didn’t say that. I did meet someone. Just not through their matchmaking service.”
 

“Oh? Tell me about this someone.”

 
“Do you really want to know?”
 

“Sure I do. I have to live vicariously through you, my friend. My anchor is sunk deep into the bottom of the sea. Not that I’m complaining—I’ve got the prettiest fish in the ocean.”
 

“Who I’m sure would love to be called a fish.”
 

“You know what I’m saying. So tell me.”
 

“I’m not sure what there is to tell just yet. She’s skittish.”
 

“Don’t tell me you gave her the wink and the charm.”
 

“I might have come on a little strong at first.”
 

“Hm. Things have changed since you’ve been off the market, Gav. You have to give the ladies the upper hand now. No more of that ‘I’m the man’ nonsense. They don’t go for it.”
 

“So, what am I supposed to do? Paint her nails?”
 

“That might work.” Lance laughed. “Just don’t try, Gavin. Let what happens happen. I know you’re used to being in control, but sometimes you have to let things play out.”
 

“That’s the hard part.”
 

“Yes it is, bro. You’re a great catch, though. I don’t know what you’re worried about.”
 

“My instincts aren’t great, you know that.”
 

“You can’t let one mistake ruin the rest of your life, Gavin.”
 

“No, but I can learn from it. I can try not to make the same mistake twice.”
 

“That’s true.” Lance paused.

Gavin studied the figures in the painting. There were several couples engaged in dancing in the middle of a grand old-fashioned ballroom. Off to the side of the painting was one couple curled up in the cut-out of a window. Wrapped in one another’s arms, they gazed out at the stars. The image fascinated him. It was as if they were the only two who knew to look beyond the decorations and traditions to what might lay beyond.
 

“Gavin, did you hear me?”
 

“Hm?” Gavin blinked and returned his attention to Lance. “I’m sorry, did you say something?”
 

“Just remember, dating is supposed to be fun. Try not to take it too seriously.”

“Me? When have I ever taken anything seriously?” He chuckled as he hung up the phone.

His laughter faded when he looked back at the painting. The truth was, he took Nicole very seriously—seriously enough that it scared him.

He spotted Tony as he walked toward the front desk, and waved to him to get his attention.
 

“How is everything?” Tony smiled.
 

“Great. I’d like to reserve a table for lunch.”
 

“I already have one ready for you on the west deck. I thought you and Nicole might be needing it.”
 

“Wow, that’s perceptive.” Gavin quirked a brow. “How did you know?”
 

“If you work here long enough, you learn to recognize the spark, trust me.”
 

“The spark?”
 

“Sure. The way you smile every time you look at her. The way she blushes when you touch her. There is enough spark to be a full flame.”
 

“Interesting.” Gavin smiled to himself. “I can’t argue with that.”
 

“You shouldn’t, either. I see lots of couples, but seeing a spark like that is rare.”
 

“Thanks for the insight, Tony.”

He left the counter before Tony could see the flush in his face. The more he thought about Nicole, the more mixed his emotions became.

When he reached the table he sat down and gazed out over the side of the mountain. Even here, a million miles away from his clients, he felt as if he had to portray a certain image to those around him.

But not with Nicole. When he was with her, he was actually being more vulnerable—more himself—than he could ever remember being—only there was a fear looming on the horizon. It was beautiful now, with the memory of her kiss still on his lips. How long would it remain that way?
 

“Gavin! There you are.” Nicole smiled as she stepped through the door.
 

Gavin stood up as she approached. “I was starting to wonder if you were going to join me.”
 

“I’m sorry it took so long.” She bit into her bottom lip.
 

“No, that’s not what I meant. I just thought maybe you changed your mind.” He pulled out her chair for her. She sat down in it and reached up to pat his hand.
 

“There’s nowhere that I’d rather be.”
 

“Me either.” He smiled and settled in the chair across from her.

For a few seconds he sat back to simply admire the sight of her. It wasn’t her beauty that made her so attractive to him; it was her personality spilling out into the laugh lines and pink cheeks. Nicole was to him as much a work of art as the painting he’d gazed at in the hall.

“Tony will bring out lunch in a few minutes.”
 

“Great, I’m starving. That walk took more out of me than I realized.”
 

His eyes sparked with mischief as he leaned closer to her. “Or maybe it was something else? Perhaps the kiss?”
 

She ducked her head so that her hair almost shielded her face.

He reached out and brushed her hair back away from her eyes and over her shoulder. “No hiding.” His hand lingered on the curve of her neck just above her shoulder.

She reached up and grasped his wrist.

His first instinct was that she would push him away, but instead she pressed there with a light squeeze.
 

“You have no idea what you do to me, Gavin.”
 

“I might have some idea, since you’re doing something crazy to me.”

He leaned further across the small table. She leaned in as well. He guided her head with a tilt of his hand. Just as their lips met, someone cleared their throat.

Gavin pulled back to see Tony beside the table.
 

“So sorry to disturb you, but I didn’t want this to get cold.”

Chapter 22

Nicole laughed as she brushed a hand over her lips in an attempt to hide the fact that she’d been prepared for a sultry kiss.
 

“Bad timing, Tony.” Gavin narrowed his eyes.
 

“I know, I know. But you’re going to love this.” He set the trays down on the table. Then he lifted the lids to reveal two platters of crackers, cheeses, fruits, vegetables with dressings to dip, and a variety of olives.
 

“Oh, that looks so good. I’m hungry!” Nicole darted a hand into the platter and grabbed a slice of cheese. The moment she did she realized her mistake. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make a pig of myself.”
 

Tony carried the lids to the platters away as Gavin looked across the table at her.
 

“Why would you apologize for being hungry? I am too.” He grabbed a handful of grapes and popped them into his mouth.
 

“I don’t know. I guess I’ve been dieting practically my whole life, and a certain amount of guilt goes with that.” She frowned. Why was she telling him things he didn’t need to know?
 

“Well, you’re not on a diet with me.” He held her gaze. “I mean that. You’re gorgeous, exactly the way you are. There isn’t a thing you should be thinking about changing. I know it’s not my place to tell you what to do, or not do, but I can’t imagine anyone finding any flaw in what I see before me.”
 

“You don’t have to say that, Gavin. I’m in my forties, I’ve lived a full life, and I have the normal wear and tear. I’m not ignorant of my faults.” She shrugged. “I don’t have any interest in being perfect, but other people always have opinions.”
 

“Other people like your ex-husband, you mean?”
 

“Yes.” She picked up another piece of cheese. “But, in his defense, I was tiny when I met him.”
 

“He couldn’t handle you blossoming into a woman?”
 

“Is that what it’s called?” She laughed.
 

“Forgive me if I lavish you with compliments. I don’t think that you’ve heard nearly enough. But I can promise you, I mean every word I say.”

She studied him for a moment. As much as she wanted to be skeptical, she could read the honesty in his expression.
 

“What gives you that confidence, Gavin? How do you know that your instincts are right about me?”
 

“I don’t. But I want them to be. If I led with fear, I’d never be successful in my life. So one day I decided that if I wanted things to be a certain way, I’d believe in it, fight for it, demand it, until they were. Trust me, it doesn’t always work. But with you, I’m willing to bet that it will.”
 

As they finished their lunch, she grew more and more comfortable with him. Gavin had an arrogant side, but it was for a purpose. He wanted to protect himself from the world. She could see that. Did he need to protect himself from her too?
 

After they stepped back into the resort, they lingered by the front desk.
 

“I’d like to take you out tonight.”
 

“Out? Where?” He furrowed an eyebrow.
 

“Just out to the fire pits. I’ve reserved one for us, so we can just look at the stars and relax. Does that sound good to you?”
 

“It sounds good. But we’ll have to bundle up; it’s supposed to be cold tonight. But don’t worry, I can keep you warm.” The words left his mouth before he could catch himself. “I mean, we’ll be close to the fire.”
 

“Sure.” She laughed. “I’m glad that you’ll be there to keep me warm. And that you’d trust me near a fire—after our little collision today.”
 

“Oh, I enjoyed that.” He tugged at her waist with a playful pressure. “Want to kick me again?”
 

“No.” She laughed.
 

“It’s good to hear that.” He held her gaze.
 

“Hear what?’
 

“Your laughter.”
 

“Oh.” She smiled shyly and looked away. “I guess after my little meltdown you probably think I’m a little loopy.”

“No, I don’t think that at all.” He cupped her cheek and lifted her chin.

She found herself looking straight into his eyes.

“I think you’ve been through a lot, Nic, and I don’t want to add to that. You have to promise me that you’ll tell me if you think I’m taking things too far, alright?”
 

“I think I can do that.” She smiled.
 

“I’m serious.” His eyes narrowed just enough to shadow them. “I don’t want to be someone who hurts you.”
 

“Gavin, I don’t imagine how you could ever do that. Trust me, I’ll let you know.”
 

He nodded as his hand fell back to his side. She noticed the ripple of his jaw.

“Why don’t we join in on one of the activities?” She picked up a pamphlet to distract them both.
 

“Oh, I don’t know, I’m not much of a joiner.”