To Love Again: A Sweet Romance (Forty and Free Book 1) (12 page)

Her palm brushed against the rise of his shoulder. He offered a quiet sound of approval. She smiled against the taut skin of his chest. Despite the passion that rushed through her at his slightest touch, she knew that she wanted to remain in control of her desires. Even though it felt as if she knew Gavin on a very intimate level, she didn’t really know much about him at all.
 

“I never expected this to happen.” She spoke quietly.

“Me either.” He tugged at a strand of her hair. “I didn’t even think it was possible, to be honest.”
 

“Does it scare you?”
 

“Maybe a little. But in a good way.”
 

“A good way?” She laughed and looked up at him.

“Yes, like that fear you feel right before something amazing is about to happen.”
 

She smiled to herself. The thought of him thinking of their relationship as something amazing made her warm inside. But on the outside she was freezing.
 

“Maybe we should get back in the water and warm up?”
 

“I thought you’d never ask.” He grinned.

As she rushed back into the water, she tried to imagine what it would be like not to have to say goodbye to Gavin. Then all at once it struck her. She hadn’t been honest with him about her life. She hadn’t even mentioned her kids. What would he think of her when she told him the truth? Her chest ached at the thought, but she pushed the worry away. Right at that moment she was in a beautiful place, in the arms of a man who adored her, and she didn’t want anything to ruin that.

After they’d swum for some time, Nicole looked up at the darkening sky. “It’s getting late. We should probably get back or we’re going to turn into ice cubes.”
 

“Good point.” He grabbed her hand and led her out of the water. From his bag he produced two towels. “Let me get your back.” He rubbed the towel across her shoulders and back.

She closed her eyes. It was a lovely sensation to be catered to by someone.
 

“Your turn.” She wrapped her towel around herself, then began to towel off his shoulders and back. When he turned to face her, she dried off his chest as well.

When the towel brushed across where his heart was, she swore she could feel it pounding. She looked up into his eyes and saw the gleam in them. For just an instant she wondered if somehow this was all a dream. Could she change so much in such a short period of time? She was tempted to believe that this was all some kind of trick, not necessarily created by Gavin but maybe instigated by her own heart—because good things like this just didn’t happen to people like her.

But when she looked into his eyes, she didn’t care if it was a trick. She didn’t care that the vacation would come to an end. All she cared about was how she felt in that moment. There wasn’t a trace of regret in his expression, or criticism. There was only affection.
 

“I’m starving, how about you?” He took the towel from her hand and tossed it back in the bag.

She watched as he pulled his shirt back on. Every ripple of muscle that disappeared beneath the cloth made her want to pull it back off.
 

“Yes, I’m very hungry.” She slid her hand into his. “I think there’s a cookout tonight. Shall we join in?”
 

“That sounds good.”
 

They walked back toward the resort arm-in-arm. The sounds of nature drew their attention with subtle chirps and rustles. She laughed when Gavin jumped back from a hiss that came out of the bushes.
 

“What do you think that was?” He looked at her with wide eyes.
 

“I don’t know and I don’t think we should find out.”

They emerged from the woods to find that several members of the resort staff were setting up for the cookout.

She kissed his cheek. “Don’t forget—I have plans for you tonight.”
 

“I like the sound of that.” He grinned.
 

“I mean the fire pits.” She blushed and glanced away.
 

“I know that.” He slid his hand down her arm and into hers. “I can’t wait.”
 

Together they stepped into the resort and followed the hall to their rooms. As they stood on opposite sides of the hall to open the doors, it occurred to her that they might not always have separate rooms. They hadn’t talked about it just yet, but she’d begun to think that this relationship was going to last a lot longer than the span of a vacation.

She glanced over her shoulder at him and smiled as he disappeared into his room.

When Nicole closed her own door behind her, she leaned against it for a moment. She remembered the way that Gavin had touched her with such reverence. She closed her eyes and thought about his hands around her waist.

As elated as she was that she’d been experiencing such a sense of passion, it also frightened her. Was it realistic to even consider the idea of continuing a relationship with a man whom she had no idea how to fit into her life? He spoke as if he intended for their connection to continue, but he never really mentioned how he thought that might happen. And of course, there were the kids to think about.

The kids.

Between their activities, her volunteer work, and her editing jobs, she had no idea how she would have room for a love affair—not that Gavin even knew what he was up against. She knew that she had to tell him about her children—and soon.

She could hear the music from the cookout drifting through her window. She hurried to change. It had been a bit of a joke to her, when she’d set out on the vacation, letting herself imagine what she’d been like and what she’d wanted as that younger version of herself—the younger woman who hadn’t been divorced yet and didn’t have kids.

She knew that when the moment was right, she’d tell Gavin the truth. He needed to know about that part of her life that was so important to her—that part of her life that did take up so much of her time and energy.

Chapter 25

Gavin waited for Nicole in the hallway. He didn’t want to miss a second with her.

While he’d been changing in his room, he’d reached a decision that they needed to talk about the future as soon as possible. He’d let things go far too long with Amy, never letting her know how he felt or what he wanted from their marriage. He wasn’t going to make that same mistake with Nicole.

Of course, he wasn’t going to propose to her or anything, but he did want her to know that he was serious about the relationship—that he wanted more than just a few days at a resort with her.

When he heard the door to her room open he looked up with a smile.

She met his eyes. “Oh, I didn’t think that you would wait for me.”
 

“Of course.” He offered her his hand. “I’d wait for you any time.”
 

“I’m sure.” She grinned at him.
 

“I mean it.” He paused, which caused her to pause as well. “We need to talk.”
 

“I know.” She looked at him for a moment, then quickly looked away. “But we should eat first.” She started to walk down the hall, but he pulled her back toward him.
 

“Nic, I just want you to know that all of this may be happening fast, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful to me.”
 

“It means a lot to me too, Gavin. I want it to continue.” She looked at him shyly. “I just wasn’t sure if that’s something you wanted.”
 

“Of course it is.” He looked straight into her eyes. “I never want this to end. I didn’t want to say that, because I know it seems too soon. I don’t want to scare you off. But I promised you that I’d be honest and that’s how I’m feeling.”
 

“But we have very different lives.” She shook her head. “My schedule is pretty busy and I think yours is too. I just don’t see how we’re going to connect once we get back to reality.”
 

“Let’s not talk about the hows right now. Let’s just enjoy the fact that we both want this, and I promise you, we can find a way to make it work.” He smiled and kissed her forehead. “I’m not letting you go.”
 

When they stepped out onto the deck, it was crowded with other guests. There were many people roaming hand-in-hand and a few that stood off to the side. Gavin hadn’t really been paying any attention to the other guests at the resort. He noticed the woman who’d sat beside him on the plane on the arm of a tall man who seemed less than thrilled to be her entertainment.
 

“There’s an open table.” Gavin led her to a small white table and chairs set slightly away from the others. As they sat down at it, he took a deep breath of the scented air. “Oh, that smells good.”
 

“Yes, it does.” She stood back up. “Not much of a line right now; let’s go eat.”

When her arm slid around his waist, he felt as if the entire world brightened around him. He was usually the one grabbing her hand or pulling her close, so this was a nice change.

They made their way through the line and filled their plates with delicious selections. Once they were settled back at the table he met her eyes.
 

“So, let’s talk.”
 

“You’re relentless, aren’t you?”
 

“I’ve been accused of it. When something is important to me, I like to have an idea of how I’m going to keep it in my life. So, I thought maybe we could talk about arrangements for after the vacation is over.”
 

“You’re really serious about this?”
 

“You still doubt me?” He raised an eyebrow. “I thought we were past that.”
 

“It’s just—”
 

“So fast, I know. But why waste time denying what we feel? I, for one, can’t imagine my life without you. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same.” He picked up a piece of bread to keep his mouth busy as he waited for her reply. The truth was, he cared a lot.
 

“I do feel the same way. It’s just a little complicated. I mean, we barely know anything about one another.” She picked at her food.

He shifted in his chair as he wondered if he was making her uncomfortable. Lance had told him more than once that he could be too forceful with clients. It was in his nature to always try to close the deal. Anything that wasn’t pinned down made him a little anxious.
 

“Then ask me anything. Anything you can think of, and I will answer.”
 

“Okay.” She smiled and looked over at him. “What is your biggest fear?”
 

He stared back at her. “I hadn’t really thought about it.”
 

“Seriously?”
 

“I mean, I guess there are things I’m afraid of, but none which I would consider my biggest fear.” He frowned and toyed with his napkin. “I’m not fond of snakes.”
 

“Ah, that explains the jumping and squealing.”
 

“I didn’t squeal.” He narrowed his eyes. “Never in my life have I squealed.”
 

“Hm.” She squinted at him. “Something tells me that’s not true.”
 

“I said I’d be honest.” He settled his eyes on hers. “I am.”
 

“But what about real fear? What can’t you live without?”
 

He leaned across the table and stared into her eyes. “You.”
 

“Oh, stop. That’s cheating.” She scrunched up her nose in a way that made him want to kiss it, but he resisted.
 

“I’m serious. It’s been a long time since I’ve had anything to lose in life. After things ended with Amy, I just became detached from a lot of things.”
 

“She really hurt you, didn’t she?” Nicole took his hand with both of her hands and held it in her warmth. “I’m sorry that happened.”
 

“I can’t blame it on her. I didn’t notice that she wasn’t happy, because I wasn’t paying attention. But it frustrated me at the time that she wasn’t just honest with me. If she was feeling neglected and alone, then I wish she would have told me.” He sighed and glanced up at the starlit sky. Then he looked back at Nicole. “Now I know there was a reason. For a long time after we split, I was sure that anything, anyone, I touched would be damaged in some way. I guess that’s why sometimes I’m hesitant with you.”
 

“You don’t have to worry about that with me, Gavin. I’m tougher than I look. I’ve survived many things. And I can’t imagine you ever doing anything to hurt me.” She brought his hand to her lips and kissed each knuckle. “I’m not happy you went through what you did, but I am happy we had the chance to meet.”
 

“What about you?” He leaned a little closer to her. “What is your greatest fear?”
 

Her jaw tensed and her eyes danced away from his.

Chapter 26

Gavin felt his brow furrow as he wondered why the question about fear had disturbed Nicole.

When she spoke, she kept her eyes trained to his hand. “I guess it would be losing the people I love.”
 

“Yes, that would be a terrible thing.”
 

She shivered.

He felt it carry right through her hand and into his arm. “It is getting chilly out. Why don’t we head for the fire pit?”
 

“Perfect.” She didn’t let go of his hand as they stood up.

He loved the feeling of having her by his side. His mind filled with thoughts of what it would be like once they returned home. She didn’t know it yet, but he had no intention of going many days without seeing her. He wanted this woman in his life. He was sure about that.

The fire pits were spaced out enough that they were able to have privacy from other couples. Music still drifted through the air from large speakers positioned around the open area. He sat down in one of the chairs in front of the fire and waited for her to sit down beside him.

Instead, to his surprise, she sat down right on his knee.

He grinned and wrapped his arms around her waist. She rested her body against his, and they sat in silence as the flames danced before them. The fire crackled so close to his skin that he had to check to be sure that the flames weren’t singing the hair on his arms. He could have moved back, but that would have meant unwrapping his arms from the woman who’d finally welcomed his embrace.