To Love Again: A Sweet Romance (Forty and Free Book 1) (15 page)

“Really?” Nicole rested her head back against the pillow on her bed. She was quite skeptical of what her friend might have in mind.
 

“Sure. Men are easy—especially a guy like that. He wants to be in control whether he shows it or not. So you make him jealous.”
 

“What? That sounds so immature.”
 

“It’ll work. The moment he sees you on the arm of another guy, he’ll be all over you, begging for you to take him back. Trust me. If he feels the same way about you, that you do about him, he just needs to see that you’re not going to sit around and wait for him to get over a simple misunderstanding.”
 

“I’m afraid that if I do that he’ll think I don’t want to be with him.”
 

“Are you going to trust me on this? Remember, I’m the experienced one.”
 

“Well, that’s true.”
 

“So try it. I guarantee by the end of the night, he’ll be on his knees in front of you.”
 

“Knees? That’s a little extreme.”
 

“Wait and see.” She laughed. “It works every time.”
 

“I’ll think about it. So tell me about Shawn.”
 

“Who?”
 

“Shawn—the guy you had an epic adventure with?”
 

“Oh, Shawn’s old news. Now it’s Benny.”
 

“Oh boy.”
 

“Man, Nicole. Benny is a man. Trust me.” She laughed so loud that Nicole had to pull the phone away from her ear.
 

“Well, as long as you’re having fun.”
 

“I am. And that fun just walked through the door. Call me if you need me, girl. I promise I’ll pick up. But think about what I said. You can go home regretting what might have been, or you can give it your best effort.”
 

“Thanks, Ella.”

Nicole hung up the phone and stretched out across the bed. Despite her exhaustion she could only stare at the ceiling. A part of her hoped that she’d hear a knock on her door—that he’d be feeling as torn up about everything as she was.

Chapter 31

Gavin sat on his bed for what seemed like hours. The four walls of the room threatened to close in on him. As dizzy as he was, he didn’t dare lie down. His mind spun through memory after memory of his marriage—all those times that Amy had claimed everything was fine, when she was really falling in love with another man. No, she hadn’t cheated—not physically, so she’d claimed. She was too good a person for that.

He rubbed his eyes and gritted his teeth as the memories came flooding back. Amy had been a dutiful wife who would have remained at his side—only she was no longer the woman he’d married.

He’d scrolled through her e-mail one day, finding a letter to another man that detailed how miserable she was with her husband—how Gavin had failed at every promise he’d ever made her. It had been a punch to his gut and he’d been furious. He’d been possessive and hurtful with his words.

It was a time in his life that he was ashamed of—a time that he never wanted to repeat. He’d treated her terribly, as if she was the one who had done something wrong. Only later did he come to realize the part he’d played in the failure of their marriage and to take ownership of the fact that he’d never done
 
anything to strengthen it.

He’d left Amy alone so often that she’d sought comfort with someone else. At one time, he thought that meant he was broken inside, that he didn’t know what love was. Now he knew that wasn’t the case, because every time he closed his eyes he saw Nicole. He saw the hurt in her eyes when he’d called her a liar.

Maybe, if he’d been more accessible, if he’d probed a little deeper, Nicole would have told him the truth. Or maybe he was just kidding himself.

By three in the morning Gavin couldn’t take it any more. He was so restless that he could barely breathe.

He left his room and walked across the hall to her door. He curled his hand into a fist to knock, but at the last minute decided against it. How would it look to wake her in the middle of the night?

Instead, he rested his palm against the door. He wondered if she was able to sleep. He wondered if he’d hurt her in a way that she’d never forgive him for. He wasn’t sure if he wanted her to forgive him, but he was certain that he didn’t want to be responsible for her pain.

He walked down the hall toward the front desk. The lobby was dim, but he could see that someone was in the small office behind the desk.

He stepped out the side door and onto the deck. He could see the remnants of the cookout. How could so much have changed in one moment? As he leaned against the railing he wondered what his life would be like without Nicole in it. All he could predict was darkness and emptiness.

Then he thought about what their future could be like together. He imagined them celebrating holidays together, arguing over grocery lists, even doing yard work together.
 

Then his mind wandered even further—to thoughts he hadn’t allowed himself to think for a long time—children to play with—baseball, volleyball, roller-skating. All things he’d never even considered doing as a single man. Sure, Nicole’s kids had a father, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t play a role in their lives.

He smiled to himself as he recalled the faces he’d seen in the photograph. They looked like
 
happy kids in the photo. Nicole was probably an amazing mother. How could he be so harsh as to simply turn her away?

Still, the fact that she’d kept such a big facet of her life from him concerned him. He didn’t want to be with someone who felt that she needed to keep things from him. He didn’t want to be cast as a heartless monster who wouldn’t understand whatever was happening in her life or her heart. That was the role that he’d ended up in with Amy, and though he shouldered the majority of the blame, he always wondered if it would have been different if she’d simply told him the truth.

The sun peeked over the edges of the mountain. It was a beautiful sight as the entire mountainside glowed with the pale sunlight. He shivered and took a deep breath. He was determined to talk things out with Nicole—if she’d even speak to him after the way he’d reacted to her.

Just as he was about to turn to walk back into the resort, a woman walked toward him—the same woman who had sat next to him on the plane.
 

“Well, if it isn’t my travel mate.” She smiled.

He returned a polite nod.
 

“You must be freezing out here.” She wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Let me keep you warm.” She purred in his ear.

Gavin’s body stiffened at her touch. He clenched his jaw as he shrugged her arm off his shoulders.
 

“No, thank you. I think I’ll just go in.”
 

“Are you sure? There’s no one in the hot tub.” She tugged at his waistband in a way that left him feeling more than annoyed. He brushed her hand away.
 

“I’m not interested, sorry.”
 

“Suit yourself.” She shrugged. “It’s your loss.”

As she walked away, Gavin felt his stomach churn. Was that his future? Women who only wanted him for one reason? How long would that even last?

He turned toward the resort and stepped inside. If there was anything that he could do to fix things with Nicole he was going to have to try. Maybe it was a risk. Maybe she would lie to him again. Maybe, like Lance said, love wasn’t perfect. But it was better than the alternative.

He walked down the hall toward their rooms.

Behind him, Tony called for help from another staff member for a checkout.

Gavin’s heart dropped at the thought. Would Nicole even still be there?

Chapter 32
 

Nicole woke with a start, with no idea of when she’d actually fallen asleep. Her body was stiff and she was still in the same clothes that she’d worn the night before. She forced herself into the shower and got dressed.

As she made her way down toward the front desk, she still hadn’t made her decision. Then she saw him.

Gavin was out on the deck, with another woman’s arm draped over his shoulder. Her eyes narrowed. That was his answer? That was how easy it was for him to move on to the next woman. All of his claims of love had to be a lie, if it was that easy for him to move forward.

But as she continued to watch them, she saw him shrug the woman’s arm off and turn a disapproving look toward her. It was the same expression that Nicole had seen on his face when she’d first seen him at the resort—harsh, cold, detached.

Her chest ached with the knowledge that she’d done that to him. In that moment, she made her decision.

She paused in front of the desk. Tony was with someone, but as soon as he was done he turned to her.
 

“Ah, Nicole, I’m sorry to see that you want to check out.”
 

“Actually, I changed my mind.” She cringed. “Is that too much trouble?”
 

“No, not at all.” Tony looked over the top of the computer at her. “As long as you’re staying, would you like to peruse our available singles?”
 

“Yes. I would.”

 
Tony smiled as he handed her the tablet.

She tried to hide the subtle shake in her hand by putting it down on the counter. As she looked at the smiling faces on the screen before her, there was only one thought on her mind. None of these men were Gavin.
 

“How about this man?” She pointed at a man with slicked-back hair and a half-smile. He struck her as a little arrogant, but he was just going to be a distraction from Gavin.
 

“Oh, Scott? Uh, well”—Tony scrunched up his nose—“He’s a little gruff. Are you sure that’s what you’d like to experience?”
 

“Maybe you should choose.”
 

“I thought you’d never ask.” A sound came out of him that made her look twice.
 

“Did you just squeal?”
 

“Possibly.” He cleared his throat. “Let’s see if we can’t find you the perfect gentleman.” He skimmed through the images, then settled on one. “Oh yes, definitely Kyle. He’s the strong silent type, so you might need to hold up the conversation at first, but there’s a lot of substance to him.”
 

“You know him well?”
 

“He’s been here a few times. Would you like me to send him an invite for a date with you tonight?”
 

“Yes, let’s do it.”
 

“Great. So I just sent it, and I’ll text you when I have an answer.”
 

“Oh. So he sees my picture. Is that how it works?”
 

“Yes.”
 

Nicole shifted from one foot to the other. She wasn’t sure if she’d made a good choice. But the invitation was already sent. As she turned around to walk toward her room, she tried to get excited about the prospect of another man, but instead, her thoughts kept turning toward Gavin.

When she neared her room, her breath caught in her throat.

Gavin leaned against the door of his room.

She froze and thought about turning around to flee in the other direction, but it was too late.

He turned and looked over at her. “Nicole, I’m glad I caught you.”
 

“You are?” She dared to hope for a chance to talk to him about everything that had happened.

“Sure. I hoped that you weren’t leaving. I mean, that what happened last night didn’t make you want to go home.”
 

“No. I was going to, but then—” She started to explain, but he interrupted her before she could.
 

“—Great. I think we need to talk. Tonight?”
 

Her heart skipped. This was it, her opportunity to explain everything.

Before she could open her mouth, her phone signaled that she’d received an incoming message from the resort’s special app. She wanted to ignore it, but it kept beeping. She quickly glanced down in order to hit the button saying that she’d received the confirmation that Kyle had accepted her invitation.
 

“What’s that?” Gavin glanced at the picture on the screen of her phone.

She turned the screen away before he could see the full image, then instantly regretted it. He wanted her to be honest, and yet again, she was hiding things from him.
 

“It’s a message about a meeting I have tonight.”
 

“A meeting? For work?” He raised an eyebrow. “I thought you weren’t working on this vacation.”
 

“Uh, it’s not a meeting for work.”
 

“Then what is it?” He studied her.

She wished she could run and hide, but she was determined not to lie to him again. She owed him at least that.
 

“It’s a date.”
 

His jaw rippled. “With who?”
 

“Gavin, I just did it on a whim. I can cancel. I’d much rather talk to you.”
 

“No.” He narrowed his eyes. “No, that’s fine. I get the message loud and clear.”
 

“Wait, you don’t understand.”
 

“Right. So, I don’t understand when you lie to me about kids, or when you’re trying to hide the fact that you’re already looking for another date. I thought—you know, I don’t know what I thought, but I don’t care any more. Enjoy your night.” He thrust open his door and disappeared inside.

Chapter 33

Nicole tried to get to the door before it closed, but Gavin had already slammed it shut. She heard the lock turn.
 

“Gavin.” She sighed and brushed her fingers across the door, but she didn’t dare knock. Yet again, she’d managed to make a mess of things. She tried to ignore it, but the frustration burned inside her. Why had she agreed to go on the stupid date? She didn’t even care about it.

She closed herself in her room and buried her face in her pillow. If this was what dating was—what being in love was—then she didn’t have the patience for it.

She wanted to march into Gavin’s room and make him listen to her, but her gut told her that he wouldn’t respond well to that. Instead, she grabbed the book she’d brought with her. She immersed herself in a few chapters and tried to forget all about her real life drama. But every word she read seemed to lead her mind right back to Gavin.