Torn (18 page)

“Jesus,” Nate sighed, shaking his
head as he slumped back in the sofa, dumbstruck. I leaned in and wrapped my
arms around his waist, hugging him tightly as he tried to process it, and he
wrapped his around me in return. “What am I supposed to do?” he finally asked
in a sober tone.

“For now, nothing. Josh won’t
graduate for another three and a half years, and he won’t be applying for a job
until he does. Who knows what could change by then. Just give him this, let him
think that he can step up and become the man you’ve had to be. And let him help
out around the house and with your mom more. He needs that. You’ve done an
amazing job, but he’s eighteen now, the same age you were when you had to take
charge. Let him come out from under your shadow and be the man that you are.
That’s all he wants, Nate. To stand at your side as an equal, to make you proud
of him.”

“I
am
proud of him. He
doesn’t know that?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure,” I
replied, tilting my head back to look at him. “He knows you love him, but you
can be kind of hard on him and Billy, riding them all the time. It wouldn’t
hurt for you to tell him how you feel from time to time.”

“You see why you’ve bewitched us
all, Sky Torres? Who put such a sensible head on your gorgeous shoulders?” he
exclaimed with wonder in his voice.

“You
do
need to work on
expressing yourself, if all you can compliment me on is my shoulders,” I
teased, needing to lighten the mood.

“You know I like more than your
shoulders. Or I would if I ever got to see more, not that the sight of you
bending over in those tight jeans doesn’t do it for me.”

“Ok, timeout,” I laughed, as I
hastily untangled myself from our embrace. “Go talk to him while I baste the
turkey.”

“I’d love to do some basting of
my own.”

“Ewwww, Nate Hudson! Way to ruin
the emotional moment. Go, see your brother,” I ordered, pointing in the
direction of the bedrooms as I stood up. He spanked my backside with a laugh
and strutted off, with that sexy Nate-swagger of his. I sighed and headed back
into the kitchen.

After Nate convinced his mom to
eat some of the freshly cooked meal in her room, I watched in amazement as they
polished off another dinner, Josh even having seconds. I wasn’t likely to eat
for days after pigging out at lunchtime, well maybe with the exception of a
slice or two of Mom’s pumpkin pie. I was pretty sure I could manage some of
that tomorrow. I plated them both another dinner to use up pretty much all of
the leftovers and put it in the fridge, then covered the turkey carcass with a damp
tea towel to let it cool down and keep it from drying out. They could pick at
that, or make turkey and stuffing sandwiches for lunch.

“Ok, I’d better get back,” I suggested,
as I stacked up the empty plastic containers that we’d brought the first meal
down in.

“I’ll go and get the car out of
the garage,” Nate confirmed, snatching up his keys from behind a hook on the
door.

“I’ll come too.” Josh stood up
and stretched his long body out.

“No, best you stay and keep an
eye on Ma, Josh. I don’t think it’s a good idea that she’s left alone today,
she’s extra emotional.”

“Ok,” Josh nodded. He waited
until Nate had pulled the front door closed, then came to join me at the island
and wrapped me up in a hug. He was nearly as tall as Nate, which meant he was
way taller than me. “Thanks,” he whispered, kissing my hair in the way that the
Hudson boys seemed prone to do.

“You’re welcome. I hated the
thought of you not having a decent Thanksgiving meal.”

“Well yeah, that too. I meant the
Nate thing. I didn’t want to spell it out for him, I knew how he’d react, so it
helped you doing it. And he’s finally agreed to let up a bit and allow me to do
more around the house and with Ma.”

“Will it sound condescending if I
tell you how proud
I
am of you?” I whispered, squeezing him hard. He was
lean and muscular, but without Nate’s definition. He didn’t work out as much,
he didn’t need to have Nate’s levels of fitness, but he was definitely toned.

“Not coming from you. Your
opinion means a lot to me, Sky. You mean a lot to me.”

“I know. I’m sorry I’ve still not
decided, I know it can’t be easy for you,” I added. He let go of me and held me
at arm’s length as I bit my lower lip.

“Nate and I also discussed you
tonight, and how hard this must be for you, to even have to think about
choosing between us. When you do, one of us is going to be seriously bummed
out, but we’ve already agreed, no hard feelings. We care about you enough to
want to see you happy, even if it’s not with us. You choose him, and I’ll still
be here for you, ok?”

“Man, your mom may not be all
that now, but she sure as hell raised two amazing guys,” I declared, full of conviction.

“A lot of that was my dad, too. He
was a great guy, he’d have loved you.”

“If he was anything like you and
Nate, I’m sure I’d have loved him too.”

“Loved who?” came Nate’s stern
voice as he stepped back into the house and shot Josh a curious look. They may
have agreed to accept defeat graciously, but they obviously hadn’t agreed to
let go of the jealousy until then.

“Your dad. I was just saying to
Josh how amazing you both are. I’m lucky to have you both in my life. Thank God
I got a flat tire that day, or we may never have become friends.”

“Come on, let’s get you back
before your dad reverts back to his pissed-with-me persona,” Nate ordered, as
he loaded himself up with plastic containers.

The house was quiet as I entered,
with just a table lamp on by the stairs. Mom and Pops must have gone to bed
already. Nate followed me in and we deposited the containers on the island.

“Wow, great place,” he stated,
looking suitably impressed as he cast his eye around.

“Even better in the day with the
view of the lake.” I walked back over to the front door, which was still open.
Nate followed and slowly stepped out onto the doorstep, framed by the complete
blackness of the sky behind him as he turned to face me, Boulder City lights
twinkling in the distance. There was a sense of expectation hanging heavy in
the air between us. “So,” I hesitated, tangling my fingers together and feeling
suddenly awkward.

My breath caught in my throat as
he lifted his hand, brushed my hair back over my shoulder, then slid his
fingers around to the back of my neck, the heel of his palm firmly planted on
my cheek as he stepped closer, pressing his body up against mine. I swallowed
hard, my lips parting, desperately trying to remember how to breathe as I
looked up at his handsome face.

“So,” he repeated as he gazed
down at me, his voice taking on an even more husky tone than normal.

“Nate,” I whispered, not sure
what was happening, not sure that I didn’t want things to play out and see
where they took us. I felt lightheaded, and it was like a million fireflies had
been set loose in my stomach, fluttering and radiating light and heat from my
very core to my extremities. I’d never felt anything like it.

“Jesus, you’re so beautiful,” he
rasped. “You’re slowly killing me. I think a torture chamber would be
preferable to waiting for you to give me an answer.”

“I’m sorry,” I stated quietly,
unable to remove my gaze from his, from the heat I could see in his eyes. It
was like a beacon in the darkness, beckoning me in to find out what it offered.

“I need to know, Sky. I can’t
wait any longer. It’s not even just a sexual need for you now. I can’t stop
thinking about you, when I’m working, studying, playing. You fill my head
constantly. I’ve never been like this before, so
desperate
with need for
someone.”

I opened my mouth to say
something, but no words came out, and suddenly he was dipping his head, his
lips closing in on mine. I closed my eyes, letting my body sag against his,
part of me willing myself to just go with it, to give in to the need I’d had
for him to kiss me since the moment I first saw him. The second I felt the heat
of his breath though, I reacted instantaneously and slipped my fingers between
our lips, creating a barrier, right as his nose brushed against mine.

“Sky,” he groaned, his voice
laced with frustration.

“I’m sorry, I can’t. It’s not
fair to Josh to let you kiss me before I’ve made a decision.”

“So what?” he snapped,
immediately releasing me and stepping back, forcing me to grasp the doorframe
to hold myself up. “You want his agreement for us both to kiss you, so you can
decide which of us you prefer? Never happening, Sky. I have my limits and I’m
already pushing at their boundaries. Make a fucking decision already. If you
want him, then just be honest with me!”

“I’m going to hurt one of you and
I can’t bear that,” I moaned. “And what about Billy, too?”

“I don’t have the answers, Sky,
but you dragging this out is ripping us apart. You’ve got us fighting and
arguing, showing you the worst of ourselves as we all try and compete for your
attention. Make a damn decision.”

“How about I give you all a
chance to show me the best of yourselves then?” I asked, grasping at straws.

“What?”

“I go out on a proper date, one
evening with each of you, where you show me what it would be like if I picked
you. I want a relationship like my mom and pops. They get each other,
anticipate what each other wants or needs, and deliver. And I’m not talking
about monetary things. It’s in all the little things they do for each other
that shows the other how much they’re in their thoughts. You do that, and then
I promise to make a decision.”

“Care to throw in surviving
wrestling a crocodile with that easy task? Or maybe swallowing a live scorpion,
or freefalling over the edge of the canyon?” His words were enough, I didn’t
need the added sarcastic tone for emphasis.

“I realize I’m asking a lot, but
I’m a romantic, Nate. I want a guy who’s willing to give me as much of himself
as I’ll give him in return. I already know what dates I’d take you and Josh on
if the situation were reversed, because I already
know
you, like
really
know you. I need to know that the right guy’s that in tune with me.”

“You’re fucking crazy,” he
muttered.

“Take it or leave it.”

“God damn it, Sky! If you’ve said
this as a ploy to get me to back off and go back to my old ways, you may as
well throw me in that crocodile pit to prove how much I want you, because I’m
not backing down. Fine, three dates and then you decide. No first base with
anyone
!”
he growled. “In fact, no damn bases at all, not even hand holding.”

“Agreed. No discussing your plans
with each other then. I want a genuine date, not one you’ve planned just to
outdo one of the others.”

“I can’t believe I’m negotiating
a God damn date with you, one where I can’t even kiss you, and my damn brother
and cousin get to take you out as well.” He sounded seriously irritated, but I
needed something, something to help me over that final hurdle. He scrubbed his
hands over his face and sighed. “Fine, but you’d better make that decision as
soon as the last date is over, Sky, and I’m going last, no discussion or debate.”

“Any other rules for
my
plan?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow at him as I folded my arms across my chest.

“A date with Billy happens in a
public place, with other people around, and Josh or me in the vicinity.”

“Jesus, I wish you’d tell me
what’s wrong with him already. What if he has a brain aneurysm or something
while I’m with him?”

“Then we’re back to the
stipulation that you’re in a public place and Josh or I can get there in time.
No arguing,” he warned.

“Fine. I suppose you want to
shake on it as well?”

“I’d rather seal the deal doing
something else, but since there’s a one-third chance of it never happening, I’m
going home to plan the best God damn date you’ve ever been on, and use my head
start to my advantage.”

“It’s not a race,” I smiled, as
he spun on his heels and marched over to his car.

“Yes, it is,” he called without
turning around or giving me a glance over his shoulder, as he opened the door
and climbed into the driver’s seat. “You made it into one, Sky, and I’m fucking
competitive. There’s no way I’m not crossing that finish line first.”

I shut the front door after his
taillights disappeared from sight, leaned back on it, and took several deep
gasps of air as I hugged myself, my hands trembling. I’d done it now. Three
dates. One decision. No turning back. And I was suddenly terrified.

Nate