On the third day, we’re surrounded.
The police find us. The dawn breaks and with it, megaphone voices telling the kidnappers to come out unarmed, with me unharmed. First threats. Then wheedling. A soft magnified voice begins to plead with them, to offer them things. The men only argue more.
One wants to kill me, for the trouble I’ve put them through, and surrender. One wants to let me go. Two are desperate, panicked, and don’t want to move at all. One snaps, yells at me for not talking, and strikes me across the mouth before the others grab him. It’s the first time I learn that blood tastes like metal. And the first time I’m punished for being silent. Usually, it’s how I’m supposed to be.
It’s the evening of the third day when there’s a disturbance outside.
Cops shouting. The sound of running footsteps. And downstairs, a door bangs open and then shut.
The men all train their guns on the door.
But the person who bursts through isn’t a cop. It’s my mother. Her face is streaked with tears. She’s gasping. Out of breath. She says, “Baby, I came for you—”
The men tell her not to move an inch, but she takes one step toward me, then two. She’s almost to me. Her hand a foot away. For a second, I think I’m safe. Someone came for me. Someone cared.
Then there are three really loud noises. A burst of red. My face speckled with wetness, like rain. Then Mom is falling back, her face frozen, scarlet spreading in three patches across her white sweater, and I’m screaming.
The men are arguing again.
MAY
The next morning, Renée leaves breakfast on the table—brie cheese, fresh strawberries, strips of organic bacon and French toast, warm—next to a note:
Sorry I had to leave so early! Ski supplies are in the changing room, and the kitchen’s stocked with food. Phone’s in the living room with my number if you need anything. Have a good time!
Sebastian doesn’t come down until past eleven, when I’ve spent a good half hour battling Tanner to leave some of the breakfast food so he’ll have something to eat. His shirt is partially unbuttoned, exposing the muscles in his chest. His hair’s tousled and his eyes are sleepy.
I bite my lip when I see him, remembering last night’s honesty, but all he does is yawn and eye the remains of the breakfast. “The human vacuum got here first, I see.”
“People who sleep the whole day don’t get breakfast,” Tanner shoots back, half-sprawled in the kitchen chair.
“Sebastian, eat fast,” I say hastily. “I want to ski.”
After last night, I honestly have no idea if he’ll react to me with warmth or ice. But instead of ignoring me, he takes a mild bow and sits at the table. “As the lady commands.”
“Lady? That’s a new one,” snorts Tanner. “You wouldn’t call her a lady if you’d seen her drip maple syrup all over her—”
I pounce on Tanner, stifling him with both hands before he can tell Sebastian how much of the sticky stuff I spilled in my cleavage. “How about you shut up before I end you?” I hiss at him.
“Mee-yow. Kitty’s got claws. Agh—” he trails off into garbled noises as I shut him up by stuffing a piece of French toast into his mouth. Sebastian chokes on his breakfast, and it takes me a second to realize he’s laughing.
After breakfast, we find the ski gear in the mud room. I’ve never been skiing before, so Sebastian has to show me how to adjust the boots and get
skis that are the right size for me. When he bends over my shoulder to take care of a buckle I can’t figure out, I flush from my toes to my fingertips. Luckily, Tanner’s too busy swearing as he battles snowpants to notice. I realize for the first time that I’m keeping secrets from Tanner—I haven’t told him about the kiss, or even the night that Sebastian almost drowned. He definitely would not be happy if he knew.
Once we’re on the slopes, one thing quickly becomes apparent—I’m terrible at skiing. I inch along and fall over every few feet while Tanner, who’s only been skiing once or twice in middle school, attempts to instruct me. Meanwhile, Sebastian skis flawless circles around the two of us
until Tanner, losing his patience, packs a snowball and chucks it at his head. He misses by a mile, but his wild throw unbalances him. I’m clinging to his arm for dear life, and the two of us end up in a heap in the snow.
“Don’t try to throw anything else. Next time you
might knock over the lodge.” Sebastian comes to a halt beside us, bringing his skis up short and spraying us with snow. It’s a cloudy day, but a split in the sky angles dazzling sunlight into my face so that I have to shield it as he bends to give me a lift. I take his gloved hand, letting him pull me to my feet. “Let me show you how to do it.”
“I can show her,” grouses Tanner, struggling to get up, but he hits a patch of loose snow and topples over again.
Sebastian turns me away, gently repositioning my body. His breath is warm and visible, a puff of white smoke, over my shoulder. His chest brushes against my back as he moves my elbows, showing me how to hold the poles. “Glide, don’t walk. It’s more like upright swimming than anything else. Take my hand.”
I slip my gloved fingers into his, my heartbeat bumping up a few notches. He moves slowly enough for me to watch, and gradually I get the hang of it.
There’s a moment when I nearly fall, and he catches me, letting me stagger against his chest. Even on the snow, he’s so well-balanced that I know he’d never let me hit the ground.
Then I turn and see that Tanner is staring at us, the wind lifting his blonde waves. There’s something like jealousy in his eyes. Sebastian’s grip tightens for a mere second before he lets me go.
I want him to hold on forever.
When I’m skiing well enough that I’m less likely to let the breeze knock me over, we take the lift up one of the smaller slopes and ski down. It’s half fun, half terrifying, and I can’t help but squeal as the wind rushes through my hair. I also can’t help but notice Sebastian weaving near me, and I realize that he’s watching me, ready to catch me again if need be.
Maybe Renée’s right. Maybe he does care.
We ski for the better part of the day. It gets more fun as I get better at it. Even Tanner gets the hang of it, packing snow at the bottom of a hill to make a jump that ultimately lands him on his face when he tries to go over it. That makes Sebastian laugh too. Sebastian, who seems to have warmed up now that it’s cold, chatting casually with me and even letting Tanner make jokes at his expense.
“You’re not such a bad guy,” Tanner finally declares, shaking snow out of his hair and pointing at Sebastian, whose eyes widen in a moment of surprise that makes him look almost cute.
When the sun starts to sink below the horizon and the winds pick up, we head inside for some food. In the fridge, we find a few plates wrapped in tinfoil, a bottle of wine, and another note from Renée:
Don’t forget to check out the side porch!
Which Tanner immediately does. He comes back whooping. “Hot tub, bitches!”
I snap my fingers in disappointment. “I didn’t bring a bathing suit.”
“There’s three hanging out back. One’s in your size. That Renée lady is officially my favorite.” Tanner scarfs his food and dashes out back. “Last one in can suck my—”
He’s drowned out by the phone ringing, thankfully. I smile at Sebastian and run to grab it, my toes sinking into the luscious living room carpet. I could definitely get used to this, I think as I pick up the phone. “Hello?”
“May!” pipes Renée’s voice. “
How’s everything? How’s the food? Did you find the hot tub?”
“Tanner just found the hot tub. He’s still hollering about it, actually.” I lean against the mahogany countertop, my hip pressing into the wood. “It was really nice of you to set all this up.”
“Oh, I’m an old lady with a lot of time on my hands. And I know you college kids need time off to make the grades.” She pauses for a second. “I’m actually calling to tell you not to try for any night skiing tonight. There’s supposed to be some serious winds and snowfall. You’ll be fine if you don’t go wandering around the mountain, but I wanted to let you know.”
“I can hardly handle day skiing. I don’t think I’ll be trying it in the dark anytime soon,” I tell her. “Thanks for the update.”
“Anytime! Give Sebastian a kiss on the cheek from me. I imagine he’d only accept it if it were you giving it.” Click.
I remember the burning feeli
ng of Sebastian’s lips on mine. That had been a whole lot more than a kiss on the cheek. I glance back toward the kitchen—Sebastian’s gone. I find him out by the wooden side porch, holding a pair of swimming trunks that Tanner has evidently thrown at him. Tanner’s already in the bubbling hot tub, sinking into the steaming frothy water with a sigh. “Both of you get your asses in here before I decide there’s not enough room.”
“Probably isn’t, with your fat butt,” I quip, and he splashes me.
Sebastian and I go to our rooms to change. My suit is—God help me—a yellow-gold string thing that hardly covers anything. Renée clearly underestimated the size of my boobs. I swathe myself in a towel and rush back out to the porch, where Sebastian’s gotten there first in the time it took me to wrangle my breasts into the stretchy fabric. I have to throw off the towel to get in the tub, and both boys’ mouths fall open in unison. It would be funny if I wasn’t bright red. I scramble into the tub so fast I slip and nearly crack my head open on the rim. Sebastian throws out an arm to break my fall—my boobs press against it, and I stammer apologies and dart to the other side of the tub.
“Wine, losers,” Tanner announces, pouring us both a glass. He raises his above the bubbles, steam rising from his broad shoulders. “To Sebastian being less of an antisocial freak than we thought he was.”
“To Tanner managing to use a word with more than three syllables correctly,” Sebastian says smoothly. We drink. The wine is fancy, red with a hint of cloves. It heats up my stomach to match the temperature of the water.
“So what are you actually majoring in, Crane?” Tanner drapes his elbows over the rim. “Besides swimming and scaring people.”
“Business,” he says shortly. “What’s your major? Or are you just here for girls?”
“Business is cool,” I interject, trailing my fingers through the hot water and trying not to be distracted by the sight, yet again, of Sebastian’s chiseled chest. “What sort of business are you thinking of?”
“I’ll be taking over management of my father’s company once he retires.” He says it without missing a beat, like it’s been drilled into him. The words are dull, with no excitement for the future. I’m starting to feel a thrill of anger every time I think of Sebastian’s father. If I ever meet the man, I’ll have a hard time not clocking him.
“You wouldn’t want to be a professional swimmer?” I press.
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” he says, like he’s reciting a script. “All that matters is what’s good for the company.”
“Right.” Tanner draws the word out with skepticism. “You rich people don’t have any fun, I swear. Also I’m still hungry, so I’m gonna grab another bite. You guys want anything?”
“Nah,” I say, and Sebastian shakes his head.
I can tell by Tanner’s hesitation that he’s not totally happy about leaving me alone with Sebastian, but his hunger wins out over his jealousy. After all, I told him I wasn’t interested in Sebastian. He trusts me. I don’t know why thinking of that should make my stomach twist with guilt.
After Tanner disappears inside, I turn to find that Sebastian’s drawn far closer. His eyes burn into mine, and his voice nearly chokes as he says, “May, I can’t hold this back anymore.”
“Can’t hold what back?” The enormous unexpectedness of this makes me stammer.
“You unravel me.” His tone is utterly agonized. The difference between it and his casual words to Tanner is overwhelming. “My entire life has been about controlling my emotions. It’s what I’ve always been taught to do. I thought this would be just another thing to conceal, to push down. But it’s too powerful. You’re too powerful.”
“What do you mean?” I whisper. On either side of me, he presses his hands against the hot tub rim. His chest heaves, gleaming with water, and his expression is raw.
“Ever since I met you, I’ve been caught in your current. Every day I have to fight to pull back. You’re the only human being I’ve ever been drawn to, May. The only person ever to care for me. When you saved my life, I had no idea why anyone would bother.”
“Anyone would have done that, Sebastian,” I manage.
“Not anyone. Only you.” His thumb traces the outline of my lips. “You’d be safer away from me, and I’ve tried to drive you off. I’ve tried my hardest. I’ve fought to keep you from getting close to me. But you fought harder. And I can’t…I’m not strong enough.”
His voice breaks, and he shudders once before kissing me fiercely. My back
presses against the side of the tub. His tongue moves inside my mouth and the sensation sends an incredible heat all the way to my pelvis. My hand slips over the hard muscles in his back, his curved shoulder blades. His arm draws my body against him.
“Sebastian,” I gasp at a momentary break in the fevered kissing. A low moan escapes him and he pushes against me harder, trailing kisses like lightning down my neck. Tanner could find us, and I can’t even care. All I can do is fight to breathe against the enormous hunger inside me.