“We should go to bed.” I smile up at him. “You’re probably tired.”
“I’m always tired.” But he leads me back to bed, to the luxurious comforter. When we’re both under the covers and the light is off, I find his hand and hold it.
“If you have any nightmares, I’m here. I’ll wake you up, okay?”
He squeezes my fingers in response.
We both sleep soundly through the night.
CHAPTER
TWELVE
MAY
I’m awoken by a very annoying buzzing sound. At first I ignore it, but the realization that it’s my phone snaps me out of my dreamy stupor. I blink twice and look at Sebastian—he’s sound asleep, a look of profound peace on his face—and I really don’t want to let my phone wake him up.
Carefully, I creep out of bed. I’m wearing an oversized shirt of his, and it brushes my upper thighs as I hunt for my shorts, which I find strewn in the corner, along with my bra. My phone’s in the pocket of my shorts. I tug them on and answer the call as I
step gingerly into the hallway. “Hello?”
“Is this May Young?”
The voice is unfamiliar, brisk and professional.
“This is.” A note of dread creeps into my stomach.
“We have you listed as Angelina Young’s primary emergency contact—”
The dread expands in an instant, icing over my entire body. “My mom?” I cry. “What’s wrong with her?”
“This is the Mercy Hills Hospital. Your mother was admitted this morning. Apparently she fell down the stairs—”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Tell her that.
I’m going to the airport right now. Is that okay?” I realize I’ve got a stranglehold on the phone and try to loosen my grip.
“Yes, M
s. Young. We can discuss her condition when you get here.”
I thank her and hang up. My entire body feels frozen. I have enough in my emergency bank account for plane tickets—I can take a taxi to the airport and then the flight will only be two or three hours—
I knew something like this would happen. My mom’s never had to be on her own—my dad took care of her until he walked out, and then I took over that job. I felt so guilty about transferring to my faraway dream school that I almost didn’t go. She was the one who assured me that she’d be fine. And now she’s the one in the hospital.
What if this is my fault—for leaving?
Before I can gather my thoughts, I’m already racing to my dorm, the early morning dew on the grass glistening beside the sidewalk. Opal’s asleep, her face half-covered by her blanket, and so I tiptoe as I throw a few outfits and my laptop into my backpack.
I’m running on autopilot. I’ve called the taxi company and they’re on their way before I catch my breath. Soon I’m in the backseat, panting out instructions to the driver, who takes pity on me in my harried state and plays something soothing on the radio for the duration of the drive.
At the airport, I’m lucky—there’s a few seats open on the next flight to Newark, New Jersey. I pay, buy a breakfast sandwich I can’t eat, and tap my foot in the waiting area until my flight number is called.
It’s not until I’m actually on the plane that I burst into tears.
Three hours later, I’m at the Newark-Wayne Community Hospital.
The doctor has a clipboard. That makes me nervous. On television, the doctors are always holding clipboards when they give you the bad news. I know how I must look—clothes rumpled, shirt possibly on backwards, tears in my eyes.
“She’s got a concussion,” says the doctor, looking at the clipboard. She seems very put-together, her hair in a neat bun, shirt cuffs folded.
The opposite of me. “A lot of bruising too, but the only break is the ankle. We’ve set it, but she’ll need to be careful around the house for a while.”
“So…nothing too severe?” I ask, my breath catching.
The doctor smiles. “No, nothing life-threatening. Would you like to see her?”
As the doctor leads me down the hallway and past a row of doors, I realize what I’ve done—dropped everything to come back here without thinking. Without telling even Tanner. Like I was expecting disaster to strike in my absence, and subconsciously, I was ready for it.
I have to—oh. I don’t have Sebastian’s phone number. That seems impossible, but it’s true—I never got it. He’ll wake up without me, like I’ve abandoned him. My only hope is to call Tanner and pray he’ll agree to let Sebastian know where I am, though that seems unlikely, and of course he’ll have questions—
But then the doctor opens the door at the far end of the hall, and I see Mom, sitting up in the bed closest to the window. There’s a bandage over a cut on her forehead, and h
er ankle is encased in plaster. She smiles at me.
And I forget all about Sebastian.
SEBASTIAN
I sleep until past noon. This is rare for me. It’s also rare for me to get more than five hours of sleep with no nightmares. But it’s like my body is recharging. After that sex—that incredible sex—it’s no wonder.
I’ve fucked girls before. I’ve been in bad places. Too much drinking. Too much sex with girls I’ll never see again, who don’t want to see me again. But this was different. This was…special. It meant something.
There’s no denying that things have changed.
I care about May. I want her. More than anything in the world. I can’t deny that to myself anymore. This feeling is vastly unfamiliar—I can’t remember ever feeling this way about another human being. Protective. Gentle. That’s the way I feel.
I don’t want to scare her away anymore.
I know I don’t deserve her. I know she’d be better off with someone else. I know what happens to people who care about me. Talking to her? Being with her? It’s selfish. It’s the most selfish thing I’ve ever done.
But when she promises me that my fears are delusions, that she does care, that I’m a worthwhile person—it’s hard to ignore the sincerity in her voice. I can’t believe her entirely—not yet. She’s battling against a lifetime of me learning the opposite. But it might be enough. To begin to open up. To trust her with even a small fraction of myself.
I don’t know if I can stop myself.
I roll over in bed, intending to savor the sight of her face, but she’s not there. Just the covers, pushed back. She must have left in a hurry. I get out of bed, throw on jeans and button my shirt as I glance at the bathroom. Door wide open—empty. She’s not here. She must have gone back to her own room to change.
I recall what she said last night, about wanting to spend the day together. The idea fills me with curiosity. And a surprising amount of desire. I do want to spend the day with her. I’ll take her to do whatever she wants—perhaps the sole perk of being in the Crane family is that I have enough money to do just that.
I take out my phone, and then I remember—I don’t have her number. And she doesn’t have mine. I’m not used to giving it out.
I decide to swing by her dorm room. On my way between buildings, I catch a couple girls staring at me. As soon as I glance back, they flush and turn to each other, talking fast. But all I do is smile. I can hardly blame them for being intimidated by me when I’ve worked so hard to ensure that everyone is. Maybe May’s right. Maybe I should try letting down a few of my defenses.
When I knock, May doesn’t answer. It’s her roommate. Her dark eyes flicker at the sight of me. She’s surprised, of course, but there’s something else in her expression. I don’t recognize it. “Sebastian,” she says. “What’s up?”
Asking after May would be tantamount to declaring that I’m…something. Interested in her. But when I look past the roommate, I see that her side of the room is empty. “Do you know where May is?”
Her eyes widen. She smirks. “May? She’s gone. Rushed here this morning, threw a bunch of stuff in a suitcase, yelled something about going home for a bit and vanished off the face of the earth. I tried texting her, but she hasn’t replied yet.”
I try not to let shock register on my face.
Gone?
Roommate leans against the doorframe, that smirk still dancing around the edges of her mouth. “Yeah, May was acting pretty weird last night. Came in with her clothes all wrinkled. If I didn’t know her better, I’d say she was with a guy.
You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”
I answer her smirk with my own. “That wouldn’t be any of your business, would it?”
She hooks her finger in her jeans. “Actually, seeing as you’re universally known as the biggest asshole on campus, and she’s my roommate, it is my business.”
I open my mouth and then shut it, stopping myself from asking why she’s so disturbed if she made the bet in the first place. It’s possible May would rather she not know I know.
The girl continues, almost cheerfully, “Yeah, she’s a nice person and you’re a dick, remember? Or did your rich daddy not teach you about words like that?”
There’s something lurking under her words. Viciousness. She’s not afraid of me. She’s angry. But I know I haven’t spoken to her before. I narrow my eyes.
“Who knows?” She tosses her hands in the air. “Maybe May left because she realized she fucked up by fucking you, you know? I mean, you’re hot and all, but honestly, I can’t imagine anyone wanting to stick around after the sex for a freak like you.”
What
the hell?
I fix the girl with an icy stare, but she stares right back. I let out a small scoff, but it doesn’t come out the way I want it to. It’s a vulnerable sound. Annoyed, I turn sharply and start off down the stairs.
Because there’s a very real possibility that May’s roommate is right.
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
MAY
We spend a night in the hospital. They set Mom's break and keep her for observation, though I can tell by the way her face is drawn that she's thinking about the hospital bill it'll be impossible to pay without insurance. I'm thinking about it too. If Opal can really get Mom that job...
I spend the night curled on the hospital waiting room couch, unwilling to go back to that crappy apartment I thought I'd escaped. In the morning I call Tanner and let him know what's up.
He heaves a big sigh of relief when he hears that Mom's okay. "You better email your professors. Tell 'em it's a family emergency. You won't get in any shit for skipping."
"That's what I was hoping." I hesitate, gnawing my bottom lip. "And, Tanner..."
"Don't tell me. This harrowing experience has made you realize your everlasting love for me, right?"
I smile. At least his humor's back. And surprisingly, I don't feel a single twinge of guilt. "Sorry. No big realizations over here. Actually, I was hoping you could tell Sebastian where I went, if you run into him."
"Sebastian?" Tanner's voice freezes over. "I thought he was pissed about
Opal's bet."
"He got over it. We decided to be, uh, friends." There's no way I can tell Tanner about the things Sebastian and I did on the beach. And in his shower. Speaking of, now I could use a cold one.
"Talking to that guy gives me hives. But I guess I'll suffer through it for the sake of friendship or whatever."
Maybe he's feeling bad for lying about who carried me back to the ski lodge. Either way, I'm grateful, and I thank him until he finally snorts and hangs up the phone.
A disconcerting thought creeps into my head. What if Sebastian takes my disappearance as a hint that I consider what happened a one-night stand?
Which I don't. Do I? I swore never to get involved with a guy, but I can't get him out of my damn head. His eyes that are both hard and soft. The way he somehow manages to think of himself as the most capable person in the world and also the worst one. He's such a contradiction.
He's a million things at once.
When it's time to go, I carry Mom's purse for her and hover as she angles her crutches down the walkway. The car's at home and I never thought to go get it, so I hail a taxi and give our address to the sour-looking guy behind the wheel. He overcharges us, but I pay the fee before Mom can begin to stress about it, and help her into our building.
"You know," she says as I elbow open our door, "it's so funny. Right when I fell, I was thinking about how much I wanted to see you. Silly way of getting my wish fulfilled, isn't it?"
The apartment looks exactly how I left it - messy, magazines and newspapers strewn across the kitchen table, disappointing lottery tickets stuck to the fridge. "I should have been there."
"No, you shouldn't." Mom's face always crinkles when she frowns. "You should have been off making the grade at your new school. Which you should be doing now."
"You can miss class for family emergencies."
"A broken ankle is hardly a family emergency."
"What should I make for dinner?" I talk over her. "I bet you miss my spaghetti sauce. I can run to the store and get mushrooms if you don't have any -"
"May." She covers my hand. "You know I appreciate this. Truly. But mainly I'm startled. Getting on a plane back here from Florida at a moment's notice, just because of a little accident? You've always been flighty, like your father -"