Totaled (22 page)

My gawking was interrupted by the loud, burly vendor yelling that my order was up. I loaded our boxes up with cocktail and tartar sauce and noticed that we were short one crab cake, which when brought to the bearded fisherman’s attention, earned us the missing cake, an extra cake, four extra hush puppies, and an air kiss. I made my way over to a spot on the grass and sat down, waiting until Drew returned to dig in. I glanced over in the direction of the blue tent and watched him walk towards me with two huge plastic cups of beer. He smiled warmly at the sight of me on the ground and joined me on the lawn.

“All right then, let’s see what all of the hype is about,” he dared.

“You joke now, but this seafood platter is about to blow your mind!” I bantered in return.

He picked up a piece of fried shrimp and looked at me as if to ask permission to eat it. I held up the box with the cocktail sauce, urging him to dip his shrimp. When he put the shrimp into his mouth, he moaned as he chewed and over exaggerated his facial expressions like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted in his life.

“Life changing!” he announced sarcastically, his mouth still half full of food.

I playfully smacked his stomach with the back of my hand and he winced. “Oh shit. I’m sorry. I forgot,” I apologized.
I am an idiot.

“It’s okay. I’ll survive,” he assured me with a wink.

There’s that wink again.

We sat for a while just enjoying our food and talking. The conversation was effortless and casual. He was so easy to talk to that I slid into this zone of comfort and nearly forgot my attraction to him. It was as if I’d known him for years. We had surprisingly a lot in common.

“I’m sorry I wigged out on you last night. About the tattoo, I mean,” I said, randomly bringing us back to Awkwardville. He sat silently and just waited for me to finish. “We say that too. Our family, I mean. My mother used to say that to us. That’s how we said “I love you” to each other…how we still say it to each other, actually. I’ve just never seen or heard of anyone else saying it like we do. I always thought it was our special thing, exclusive to our little family unit. It was so shocking to me to see it inked on your chest. I just couldn’t handle it. So I bailed. You didn’t deserve that and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Bree. I can explain,” he offered again.

“You don’t owe me an explanation. It’s really none of my business. We don’t have to talk about it,” I skirted around it, embarrassed at the childish way I had behaved.

“I want to explain it. I think you have the wrong impression. I have no idea what you’re thinking, but I want to tell you about it, about my tattoo. Please, Bree? Can I tell you?” The way he was asking me, pleading, his deep green eyes full of vulnerability and caution, to allow him to open up to me…well, I couldn’t refuse him.

“My mother was killed,” he said bluntly. “She died because I was unable to stop it. I couldn’t get to her fast enough and she’s dead because of it. I live with that every second of every minute of every day.
Tá grá agam duit
is what she always said to me. She woke me up with it. She said good night to me with it. I don’t ever remember saying the actual words ‘I love you’ to her, only that phrase. It was always our secret little thing. So this tattoo, these words, mean more to me than any other words ever have meant. I got them permanently inked on me as a tribute to her, a way for me to try to keep her memory alive, to keep her close to my heart. It sounds cheesy and cliché, but it helps me. The knot is a Celtic design symbolizing motherhood. I can never get her back, but I feel her presence around me all the time.”

The emotional battle that was waging war inside me was too intense. I felt like reaching out to hold him and comfort his pain. I felt like running and hiding in a corner out of embarrassment and shame. I stared at his full lips as he spoke, wanting nothing more than to kiss him and not come up for air until it was absolutely necessary for survival. I felt like I was going to spontaneously combust if I didn’t touch him. So I did. I reached over and gently held his hand. I needed to reassure him and comfort him, but I also needed the connection.

He continued to speak, interrupting my string of errant thoughts. “I actually feel her more lately. Since coming here, I mean. I feel like I can finally grieve. Being here, it makes me feel like I can finally exhale the breath I’ve been holding these past few months. You’ve helped me with that, Bree. You have no idea how much you’ve helped me, in just this short time.”

What?!
“Drew, that can’t be right,” I said softly, hanging my head. “I feel like I’ve been nothing but trouble for you. In less than two weeks, I’ve beaten you up, been rude to you when you tried to help me on the beach, made you feel unwelcome in my home, and I spazzed out on you in the bathroom.”

He reached over, pulling my chin up with his hand, holding my jaw just as he had before on the dock. He looked at me, really looked into me, and said, “You have no idea how much you’ve helped me.”

My heart raced, my palms grew sweaty, my skin felt flushed, and my breathing sped up. I let my tongue graze over my lips to wet them, and apparently that was invitation enough. His eyes immediately dropped to my mouth. Drew started to slowly lean in towards me, closing the distance between us, never releasing my face from his hold. Everything moved in slow motion and I knew this was the moment of our first kiss.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the sky opened up and it started raining. Not raining, pouring! Everyone around us (of whom I had been unaware for the last hour) scattered like ants and we stood to run for cover with the rest of the crowd. People were frantic and crazy, squealing and sprinting for cover, bumping into us left and right. Drew grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, jogging away from the chaos in the rain. We were running in the street along the inter-coastal, in the direction of the gym a few blocks away. Already drenched, we laughed at each other, stepping in puddles and pulling each other back and forth to dodge others in our path. It felt like we were children, being playful and having fun with it, because what else could you do at that point?

When the rain picked up, we were still a good four blocks from the gym. Drew suddenly stopped jogging in front of me and turned around to face me, a look of intensity and determination in his expression. I almost couldn’t stop in time and nearly crashed into his chest. He grabbed my face with both of his strong, masculine hands and looked at me like I was a giant piece of chocolate cake and he was starving. For two seconds he stared at me. Four seconds. Six seconds. All the while standing in the middle of the street in the pouring rain. And then his lips crashed into mine. His lips were firm at first but immediately softened. He licked my lower lip, tasting me, enticing me to open for him and I couldn’t dream of doing anything in that moment but exactly whatever he wanted me to do. I opened my lips slowly to invite him in and our tongues touched each other, playfully at first and then with purpose. They danced together in perfect synchronized harmony like a beautiful Viennese waltz. The waltz turned into an angry paso doble, full of passion and angst. He kissed me with urgency, like he couldn’t get enough, but not with haste. He was savoring me, cherishing me. My hair stuck to my face, slick with wetness from the rain, my dress clinging to my body, soaked all the way to my underwear, but I didn’t want to move. Our hands were all over the place, grabbing each other anywhere, everywhere. He held my face with one hand and reached around to the small of my back to pull me in closer to him. The substantial, hard bulge between us confirmed how much I was affecting him. I felt my core twitch and throb with a need that I’d never felt before. My romance novels were finally right about something—this aching and throbbing stuff was legit. I didn’t want to stop feeling it. I didn’t ever want to stop.

Our mouths separated and I tried to take a deep breath, but he moved his mouth down to my throat and neck, kissing and licking, lapping up the raindrops from my skin, and I couldn’t possibly catch my breath with him doing that. I suddenly realized where we were still outside, still in the wide open, still in the rain. He must’ve felt me stiffen, because he brought his eyes up to mine and smiled.

“Let’s get you out of the rain,” he said, and we started jogging towards the gym again.

Chapter Twenty-Four

DREW

As we ducked underneath the eave of the back door of the gym to escape the rain, both panting and out of breath, she fiddled with her wallet purse to find her keys. Finally locating them, she turned away from me to unlock the door and I couldn’t help but stare at her. All of the tension and build up had just come to a head and now that I’d gotten a taste of Bree Murphy, I wanted more. Instantly addicted, I no longer cared to think about risks and consequences. I just wanted to have her. I had to have her.

Her soaked dress clung to her, revealing every curve and outline of her immaculate body. I came behind her, sweeping her long, wet hair to the side, exposing her neck, and I kissed her. She tasted of salty sweat and rain water but smelled of the sweetest flowery perfume. I kissed, licked, sniffed, and whispered softly in her ear that she tasted like heaven. Reaching around her body to feel her perfectly flat stomach, I turned her around to face me. Her eyes were at half mast, stuck in our lustful moment, her bottom lip bitten softly between her teeth, and I lost myself at the sight of her. I reached for her hands but brought them up above her head and held them there with mine. She looked at me with trepidation in her eyes, but I couldn’t stop. I kissed her neck just underneath her jaw, slowly moving my lips closer and closer to her mouth. Her perfectly pink lips were swollen from our kiss in the street and it just made me even more eager to return to them. I ran my tongue over her bottom lip and nipped at it gently. The soft moan that escaped from her was enough to send me over the edge. I kissed her hungrily, ravaging her mouth, tasting her everywhere, and it was the best taste I had ever imagined.

Wanting to feel more of her, I released her hands and reached for her hips and ass, urging her closer to me. I ground my hips into hers, caging her body against the door, wanting her to know what she was doing to me. She dove her hands into my wet hair, running her fingernails against my scalp, scratching and clawing at me, all the while never stopping her kiss. We were both panting with rapid breaths and speeding hearts. As I slightly leaned my head back to pause in the kiss, she brought both of her hands down to my ears, tugging on my earlobes, urging me not to separate from her. How could I? This girl was killing me. She finally slowed and I pulled my mouth away, but just before completely separating from her, caught her bottom lip and sucked on it gently. Our hips were still joined together, our foreheads now touching, and we looked into each other’s eyes as we caught our breath.

“That was…um, that…my God,” she sputtered, breathing heavily, whispering her broken thoughts in between breaths.

“Yes…it was…yeah,” I replied, equally out of breath and incoherent. “Let’s get inside,” I suggested, reaching around her body to turn the doorknob.

She walked around the corner to punch in a key code into the alarm system, which told me that no one else was here. When she returned, her expression was different. Her face was flush with embarrassment, but all I could do was look at her nipples, hard and standing at attention at the end of perfectly round, perky breasts. She started to shiver and I lunged towards her, engulfing her body in my arms.

“We’ve got to get you warmed up,” I whispered, rubbing her upper arms up and down.

She wrapped her forearms around my waist, resting her head against my chest. “I have spare clothes in the office I can change into. I think Liam has stuff in there too; I can let you borrow something. We can shower in the locker room,” she said with some hesitation.

While she was searching for the clothing, I made my way towards the men’s locker room. Just before entering, she came behind me, grabbing my hand and pulling me away.

“Let’s go in the other one, it’s nicer,” she said with a nervous smile.

Holy fuck, she wants to shower together? Thank Christ.

I followed her lead as she pulled me into the women’s locker room. It was miles and miles nicer. The smell alone was enough to make me want to shower in here instead of the men’s room. She walked into the shower area, which was a large, open tiled area with individual partitions for privacy. The shower faucets were in the center of big, circular columns with individual stalls segmented off of the center like a pie or a pizza. She hung towels on the hooks attached on the outsides of the stalls next to the curtains and set clothes down on the bench for each of us.

I slowly took my t-shirt off, wringing the water out and onto the tile floor. When I turned toward her, she was just standing still, staring at me, apparently unsure of what to do next. While my heart thumped and my cock throbbed with the need to strip her naked and taste every inch of her body, I didn’t want to push her or move too fast. I undid my belt and unzipped my shorts, letting the heavy weight of the water logged fabric carry them directly to the floor. Her eyes grew wide and she bit her bottom lip again. She could obviously see my hard on trapped underneath my wet, clinging boxer briefs. I walked slowly in her direction, noticing her breath speed up the closer I got. I bent down and grabbed onto the bottom of her dress, pulling it up over her body. She raised her arms for me to take it completely off, and stood still, just staring at me in her strapless nude bra and underwear.

“Jesus, you’re beautiful,” I murmured.

“Drew…” she began, almost in the form of a question, placing her hand on my chest telling me with her body to stop.

I smiled at her and kissed her forehead. “It’s okay, Bree. Let’s just take a shower.” I turned away, walked into a stall, slowly closed my curtain, and started the water. I peeked at her over the top of the stall. She hadn’t moved. “Are you going to get in or what?”

She smiled sweetly, looking relieved, and walked into the stall next to mine, closing her curtain.