Toygasms! (6 page)

   
Privacy.
For heaven’s sake, put the kids to bed... and make sure they’re asleep! Don’t let an innocent request for ‘a glass of water’ mess up your well-deserved orgasm.

   
Talk it up.
Don’t be shy to whisper sweet dirty nothings to your partner!

The clitoris is the nerve center for orgasm—and is your primary source of sexual pleasure. Many women are unable to reach orgasm through intercourse alone, and require some form of clitoral stimulation to achieve climax.

The clitoris’ head is located at the top of the vulva, hidden slightly under the hood, where the inner and outer labia meet. About the size of a pea, the clitoris can be viewed by gently parting the labia. The clitoris can also be compared to a penis, though it’s obviously smaller in size. Like a penis, the clitoris has erectile tissue and a very high concentration of nerve endings. This highly sensitive organ swells with blood when sexually aroused, becoming erect and possibly doubling in size. Bringing the clitoris to this erect state during sex-toy play helps lead up to orgasm. Its sensitivity to touch varies greatly among women.

Using your fingers or toys to stimulate the clitoris is a fundamental skill for arousal. It’s important to get familiar with your clitoris and learn the stroking styles that work best for you. As you develop this skill, concentrate on increasing your state of arousal and observe the sensations your clitoris produces. With proper stimulation, the clitoris’ small head, underneath the clitoral hood, will swell with blood and begin to appear. The more aroused you get, the more erect and visible the head becomes. Once the clitoris is clearly erect and visible, you’re on your way to orgasm.

Whether you prefer tortuous finesse, or rapid massage—or both—using the right motions at the right moment will trigger the most intense orgasms of your life. Try these just with your hand. Then use a dildo or vibrator for added ecstacy.

Place two fingers side by side over the top of your clitoris. Apply just enough pressure while rubbing in circular motions. Try varying the speed and pressure with small to large circles. You’ll know when you’re in the rhythm—you may orgasm very quickly.

Place your index finger and your ring finger on the top inside areas of your outer labia. Spread
the labia out against your body, holding your lips apart. Now your middle finger is in perfect position to stimulate your fully exposed clitoris, and your other hand is free for sex-toy play!

Glide one or more fingers up, over and around your clitoral area in figure eights. Use small figures, focusing on the tip of your clitoris, or larger figures, stimulating the entire clitoris and inner labia. You can also start at the top of the vulva, near the clitoris, and guide your fingers down to the bottom near your vaginal opening at the lower part of the “eight.” Now get creative and rub your way from one to ten!

Place one fingertip on each side of your clitoris. Slide your fingers vertically, up and down, up and down, stimulating your sensitive inner labia as well as your clitoris.

For fuller stimulation, snuggly position three or four of your fingers, side by side and flat, between your outer labia. Apply
pressure and stroke yourself with the motion that gives you the most pleasure.

With one hand, gently separate your outer labia, fully exposing your clitoris. With the index finger on your other hand, lightly tap your clitoris, changing the speed and pressure to your own delight.

Place your thumb and middle finger around your clitoris, then gently squeeze and lift. Now roll it delicately between your fingers. Start softly, slowly, gradually picking up the pace and pressure. Try light pinches and tugs. Like it? Do more!

You don’t have to give up your sexual pleasures. Just observe a few simple lovemaking rules to ensure the safety of you and your baby. Start by asking your physician. Don’t be embarrassed—you wouldn’t be there in the first place if not for sex!

Intercourse, as well as dildos and insertable vibrators, are generally safe during low-risk pregnancies as long as you’re careful not to harm the opening of the cervix at the back of the vaginal canal. Use plenty of lubricant (see next chapter), and make sure your toys are ultra-clean. You’re okay to climax, too—as often as you like! It’s a myth that this will induce premature labor. Orgasms during pregnancy can help calm cramping and bloating, relieve headaches and help you sleep better.

Sadie Sez:

Recover from pregnancy quicker. Perform daily Kegel exercises to tighten up the pelvic floor muscles to get you back into multiple orgasmic shape!