“You need to let me know if you have vision problems, prolonged headaches, nausea, vomiting…”
“I will, Tobi. I promise. Except for a little headache, I feel fine.”
“Can we stay at your place tonight?”
“Sure. I know having him inside the house can leave you feeling violated.”
“It’s not just that. What he did to the couch,” she looked at Ryan now before going on, “was nothing compared to what he did to the bed upstairs. It’s a complete loss.”
Ryan jerked her gaze back to Tobi. She sat surprised, unable to form a complete sentence. “He…to the bed?”
“Yeah. Can we just go?”
After everyone was gone, they grabbed a few things and checked all the locks before climbing into the Jeep to leave.
“I don’t know why we bothered to lock the house. It didn’t seem to make a difference.”
Not knowing what to say, Ryan put the Jeep in gear and pulled away.
I’m so sorry. I wish I had the words right now to make it
all better.
Tobi entered Ryan’s house, set her bag on the floor, and just stood there. Ryan taking off after that man had scared her half to death. The couch and the bed could be replaced, but Ryan…there was no replacing her. It didn’t seem to faze her that something bad could have happened. She could have been hurt, or even worse, killed. Tobi also knew that Ryan was at a loss for words.
She was quiet and chewed nervously at her lip the whole way home. Tobi wished she could just let it go, but when she thought about that lunatic harming Ryan, it made her so damned angry.
“Are you hungry?” Ryan asked.
“Not really. I feel tired more than anything.”
Ryan gave a brief nod and picked up Tobi’s bag. “I’ll show you to your room.”
To my room?
Could it be that she wanted to be alone tonight?
Leading Tobi up the stairs and down the hall, Ryan opened a door on her left. She set Tobi’s bag on the bed and waited for her to enter. “The sheets are clean, and there are extra blankets in the closet if you need them. The bathroom is through that door, and there are extra toothbrushes in the cabinet, along with towels and washcloths. My room is right across the hall. If you need anything, let me know.” Shuffling her feet a little, Ryan finally turned and walked out.
Tobi sank down onto the bed and listened as Ryan’s bedroom door clicked shut.
What the hell just happened?
Reviewing everything that was said, she couldn’t identify anything that would make Ryan think she didn’t want to be around her.
Maybe she
isn’t feeling well and doesn’t want me to know
. Tobi decided to give her a little time, and then she’d go to her. She walked into the bathroom, shed her clothes, and took a quick shower. After wiping steam from the mirror, Tobi combed the tangles out of her hair.
Teeth brushed and moisturizer applied, she headed back to the bedroom. She pulled on some pajamas and crossed over to her door, listening for any noises coming from across the hall in Ryan’s room.
Hmm, is she asleep already?
With concern over Ryan looming in the back of her mind, she couldn’t even think about going to sleep. Padding across the hall, she stopped briefly outside Ryan’s door and, not hearing anything, continued down the steps into the living room.
Tobi roamed around Ryan’s house, looking at knickknacks and pictures. Ryan was so close to her family, and it showed in every photograph. There were pictures of her with all her brothers and some of her with just one or two of them at a time. One picture specifically caught Tobi’s eye. Ryan was standing next to a tall man with dark hair. He had his arms around her and a big smile on his face. She knew from pictures at Grace’s house that this was Ryan’s father. She could see the bond between them.
Ryan’s eyes showed how much she adored him. Tracing Ryan’s outline with her fingertips, Tobi smiled affectionately. This room really looked like Ryan; hell, the whole house had Ryan written all over it. The bookshelves were lined with all kinds of books, from mysteries to comedies. She had some of her police handbooks on one shelf, and a set of encyclopedias lined other shelves. The carpet was a rich chocolate color, and the leather couches were soft beige. Across the back of one was an afghan in earth tones.
Spying a few magazines on the coffee table, Tobi sat down and started poking through one. After what seemed like just a few minutes, she looked at the clock and realized an hour had passed.
Laying the magazine down, Tobi headed back up the stairs.
She stopped outside Ryan’s door and raised her hand to knock when she heard a muffled sound come from inside the room. She placed her ear closer to the door but could barely hear a thing. Opening the door a little, she scanned the room for the source of the noise she was hearing. Not seeing anything, Tobi walked farther into the room and noticed another door off to the side. She hesitated for a moment before walking quietly toward it.
What she saw nearly ripped her heart out. Curled on the bathroom floor was Ryan, sobbing uncontrollably.
“G-go…a-away…Tobi…p-please,” she said in a ragged whisper.
Tobi, ignoring her plea, rushed to her side, knelt down, and pulled Ryan into her arms.
“Ryan, honey, what’s wrong?”
She just shook her head and continued to cry. Tobi rocked her and whispered consoling words in her ear as she rubbed circles on her back. Ryan eventually quieted down.
“Can you talk to me now?”
Not getting an answer, Tobi continued, “Ryan, what’s upset you so much?”
She heard a muffled answer and leaned back slightly to look down into Ryan’s face. “What?”
“I…” Ryan hesitated.
“What? What is it?” Tobi asked quietly.
“I don’t want you to leave me,” Ryan said in barely more than a whisper.
“Leave you? Why would…Ryan, look at me, please.”
“I can’t. It hurts too much.”
Tobi placed her hand against the side of Ryan’s cheek and let her thumb slide under her chin. Tobi applied a little pressure, and Ryan raised her eyes to meet Tobi’s. “I love you, Ryan. Why would you think that I would leave you?”
“Earlier, you said you couldn’t take this anymore.”
“I guess I need to clarify what I said.” Tobi shifted a little on the hard surface and asked, “Do you think we could get off this floor and go somewhere else to talk?”
Ryan pulled herself out of Tobi’s arms and slowly stood up.
She held a hand out to help Tobi from the floor. Tobi took the proffered hand, and they walked into the bedroom. Tugging Ryan to the large window seat, Tobi sat with her back against the wall.
With Ryan sitting between her legs and resting back against her chest, Tobi rubbed her hands up and down Ryan’s arms.
“What I meant by that comment was that I couldn’t stand all this mystery anymore. Not you, Ryan. It could never be you. I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
“But-”
“There are no buts on this. I know what your job is, and I accept that. However, it doesn’t stop me from worrying, and when you took off after that man, it scared me to death.”
“I’m so sorry. I swore I would never do anything to hurt you, and I couldn’t even do that.”
“There are parts of your job that I have to live with, and I’m more than willing to do that because of how I feel about you.
There will be times when you won’t be able to keep from hurting me-”
“But I don’t ever want to hurt you,” Ryan interrupted.
Tobi placed her hand gently across Ryan’s mouth to stop her protest and continued, “As I said, there will be times when you won’t be able to keep from hurting me because of your job.
Eventually, I will find a way to deal with the everyday aspect of it.
I have to, Ryan, because I’m not willing to give you up because of it.”
Ryan sat up and turned to face Tobi. “I love you so much, Tobi. The thought of losing you…it…I…” Ryan trailed off in a voice still hoarse from all the crying.
Tobi wished she had come to her sooner. She hated knowing that Ryan had been alone and crying for so long.
She put her hands on the back of Ryan’s neck, pulled her down and kissed her. “You won’t lose me, not because of that.
Don’t ever think that.” Kissing her again, Tobi nipped at her lower lip and slowly let it slip through her teeth. She heard Ryan sigh and placed loving kisses up Ryan’s cheek to her ear where she whispered, “I love you.” Tobi held Ryan against her and inhaled the fresh scent of her hair.
I can’t believe she thought I was going
to leave her. Hell, what am I saying? Of course I do. After the
number Stacey did on her, I’d believe anything. I hope that I can
eventually convince her that not everybody is like her ex.
“I don’t know about you, honey, but I’m exhausted. Let’s go to bed, okay?”
“Um…you’re not going to sleep in the other room, are you?”
Ryan asked hesitantly.
With a small smile, Tobi replied, “Not unless that’s where you want me to sleep, which I’m hoping you don’t.”
“I’d really like you to sleep next to me”
Ryan’s red-rimmed eyes pleaded with her. She looked like she was about to fall over. Tobi knew how exhausted Ryan was after the emotional roller coaster she had just experienced. It would not take long for her to collapse. Tobi took her hand and led her to bed. She held Ryan in her arms long after she fell asleep. If there was one thing she vowed to do, it was to make sure that Ryan knew each day that she was here for her. A disagreement here or there could never make her leave.
yan slipped into a long sleeved, light-blue T-shirt and gray sweatpants, and pulled on a pair of thick, comfy R white socks. Tobi wanted to stay home with her, but knowing she was supposed to meet her father for lunch, Ryan refused to let her cancel. Besides, it was only for a couple of hours. She walked down the stairs to the living room where Tobi had already made a nice little nest on the couch for her. With strict instructions to stay as inactive as possible, Ryan curled up on the sofa with blankets all around and enough pillows for an army.
“Promise to call if you need anything?”
“I promise. I’ll be just fine. Have a good lunch with your dad.”
“I won’t be gone too long,” Tobi said, leaning down to kiss her. Touching her fingers to Ryan’s forehead, she grimaced.
“You’re going to have one nasty bruise there. Does it hurt?”
“Not too much. It’s tender but not that painful.”
Tobi ran a finger down Ryan’s nose before tapping it lightly.
“Be good and please do as I asked.”
“I will. Now, will you get out of here already?”
“Okay, okay, I’m going,” Tobi said as she walked to the front door. As she opened it to leave, she hesitated. “I love you, Ryan.”
“I love you, too. Be careful.”
With a wave, she closed the door and was gone.
That was almost thirty minutes ago, and Ryan was still lying in the same spot. Three simple words—it’s amazing how they could make everything seem so perfect. She should have been embarrassed after her display the previous night, but the only thing she felt was gratitude. Ryan was so grateful that Tobi didn’t just go to bed last night; she wasn’t even sure what brought Tobi to her room in the first place. She could also tell that Tobi was going out of her way to make sure Ryan knew she meant every word she said.
Why can’t you accept that she isn’t another Stacey?
I never said she was.
Come on, you know that’s exactly what was going through your mind last night.
No, that is not what was going through my mind.
Well then, Sergeant Smarty Pants, why don’t you enlighten me?
For your information, I was just concerned that I always seem
to mess things up.
And you based this on…what? One person who did a number on you?
Listen, you don’t understand—
Oh, I think I understand perfectly. You’re afraid to completely open yourself up to Tobi because you know it will hurt like a son of a bitch if she were to leave you.
It’s just…what I feel for her is so different from anything I’ve
ever felt before.
That’s a good thing.
But it’s scarier than hell!
Of course it is; but don’t shortchange Tobi because of something Stacey did. That’s not fair to you and certainly not fair to her.
How is it that you’re so knowledgeable?
Could it be because I’m not hiding behind hurt feelings?
Ryan scrambled to her feet when she heard a knock at the door. “Jake, what a nice surprise. Did Tobi put you up to this?”
Ryan said as she opened the door for him.
“What are you talking about?”
“Uh, nothing…sorry. What are you doing over in this neighborhood?”
“Is it wrong for me to want to check up on you? I just wanted to make sure you were doing all right.”
“I’m fine, really.”
“Aside from the fact that I was worried, Tim would skin me alive if I didn’t stop by, and we both know it.”
Smiling, Ryan said, “True. Come on over and have a seat.”
“I also went by Tobi’s house this morning and looked around.”
“And?”
“Nothing, not one single thing I could get some kind of clue from.”
“Damn!”
Jake took a breath before continuing. “He got into the house through the front door. There were tool marks in the jamb where he jimmied the lock. The striations are consistent with those of a flathead screwdriver.”
“Great, that narrows things down.”
“We also ran the fingerprints that were pulled off through
AFIS
and came up empty on that, too.”
Ryan grunted. “Imagine that.”
Jake knew that Ryan’s sarcasm was not directed toward him.
He was just as frustrated and wished they had something to work from. He sat silently, watching Ryan mull things over, before speaking up.
“Ryan, this is all so weird. We have no idea why this man is doing what he’s doing. That’s assuming that the break-in and the calls are all the same person.”
“Exactly. I’m at a loss. I don’t even know where to go from here. It was too dark to get any kind of description last night.”