Tobi stepped closer to the machine, took the transducer in hand, and applied some gel to the woman’s stomach.
“Have you had any problems with your pregnancy, Mrs.
Hyde?”
“I already answered all these questions when I first came in.
Why are you asking me them again?” the woman asked, glaring at Tobi.
“It’s just routine, ma’am,” Tobi replied. She was trying very hard to be polite to this woman, but it wasn’t easy.
Before she could resume scanning the woman knocked Tobi’s hand away and rolled up and off the table.
“I’m done with this, and I’m done with you. Let me the fuck out of here! He won’t understand anyhow!”
Tobi stood in shock as the woman started swinging her arms and screaming at the top of her lungs.
“Ma’am, please,” Tobi started, holding a hand up to get the woman to listen to her. “Calm down and we’ll—”
“Shut up! I told you I’m done. None of it matters anyhow. Just get out of my way!”
Tobi glanced nervously at Kathy before edging a little closer to the woman. “We’ll step out and let you get dressed. Okay?”
The woman seemed to calm down a fraction, but Tobi was not convinced that she wouldn’t bolt the minute the door was opened.
Kathy stepped back through the door and Tobi was going to follow when the woman groaned. Tobi felt helpless as she watched the woman’s eyes flutter and then close before she dropped to the floor.
Tobi rushed to the woman’s side and immediately felt for a pulse. There was saliva dripping from the woman’s mouth.
“Kathy, she’s becoming anoxic. Hand me that airway!”
Kathy grabbed the airway taped to the cabinet and handed it to Tobi. She also got the oxygen tubing set up so it would be ready when Tobi needed it.
Tobi was attempting to get the airway in the woman’s mouth when her jaw clamped closed and her body contracted in a seizure.
“Dammit!”
The woman’s body went limp and Tobi felt for a pulse once again. “Kathy, call a code and get the crash cart in here. Now!”
Kathy ran from the room while Tobi tried to get the woman’s airway open. Tobi could feel the sweat accumulating between her shoulder blades as she repositioned the woman’s head. There was no pulse, and no air moving from the woman’s lungs.
The side door burst open as the code team entered the room.
Tobi briefly relayed what had happened, and stepped back so they could take over.
Ryan pulled up in front of Tobi’s house and noticed that there were not many lights on. Matter of fact, there was only one. She made her way up the steps to the front door. Before she had the chance to knock, the door opened, and there stood Tobi. She looked like she had been crying.
“Tobi, what’s wrong?” Ryan asked, trying not to show the alarm she felt.
“Come on in, Ryan.”
Ryan followed her into the living room, dropped her jacket on the closest chair, and sat down beside her. She wasn’t sure if she should say anything or just wait until Tobi was ready to talk. Ryan watched her take a sip from a mug and followed her trembling hand as she placed the mug back on the table. When she looked back up at Tobi’s face, she could see tears welling in her eyes again.
“You’re starting to scare me, Tobi, what’s wrong?” Ryan asked and took her hand.
“Earlier today, after you left, I had a case that really went south. Actually, it was the one that Marcy came and got me for while you were still there. I don’t like to discuss patients, but I really need to talk to somebody about this,” she said as the tears flowed more freely.
“Ssshhh, I understand,” Ryan said as she slid closer and wrapped her arms around the distraught woman. “Go on whenever you’re ready. I’m right here.”
Laying her head on Ryan’s shoulder, Tobi couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have this woman in her life. Right now, Tobi really needed a friend, and Ryan was being that and more.
Snuggling deeper into the warmth of Ryan’s body, Tobi described what had happened.
When she finished, Ryan sat quietly before saying anything.
“Wow, I’m so sorry that happened.”
Tobi took a deep breath. “Kathy said the woman was like a whole different person from the one she started scanning. She really scared me. I was trying to talk to her and get her to calm down, but that only seemed to upset her more.”
By this time, Tobi had sat up and was looking at Ryan while continuing with what had happened. Ryan could see that Tobi was confused by the earlier incident and couldn’t understand why the woman at the hospital was so upset.
“Do you think she had taken something while Kathy was out of the room?”
Tobi took Ryan’s hand in hers before responding. “I really don’t know, but I think so.” Glancing down, Tobi ran a finger over the soft skin on the back of Ryan’s hand. She sighed, and meeting Ryan’s eyes said, “If she did, it was either then or just before she came to the department, and it just happened to hit at that point.
They managed to revive her, but for how long is anyone’s guess.”
Tobi looked away and then met Ryan’s gaze again. “Ryan, it was almost as if she wanted this to happen. She said it didn’t matter, as if she wasn’t going to keep the baby anyhow. I don’t know how to explain it, but I really don’t think she wanted this baby.”
“Maybe she didn’t, honey. Was someone with her?”
How is it that one simple endearment from her makes me feel
so much better?
Ryan watched the emotions cross Tobi’s features. She had no idea that
she
was the reason Tobi’s thoughts had turned inward.
“Tobi?”
“Oh, sorry,” Tobi said, startled from her reverie. “No, her husband was not there. One of the things she said, though, is that he wouldn’t understand; understand ‘what’ is the question I want answered. Anyhow, I’m going to check on her tomorrow; I hope she makes it through the night. It just really upset me, Ryan. I can’t imagine doing something like that to my body, knowing I was carrying a child, knowing that it was affecting more than just my own life.”
“I agree. It seems like such a waste. I’m really sorry that you had to go through that. It must have been so terrifying and confusing.”
“It was. Thanks…again,” Tobi said with a smile in her tone.
“Again?” Ryan asked.
“Yes, again. Once again, you were there to listen to me when I needed it the most. What did I ever do without you?” she said while looking into Ryan’s eyes.
Leaning down, Ryan placed a gentle kiss on her lips and murmured, “What, indeed.”
Tobi poked her in the side and turned to face her while sitting up a little straighter.
“Ryan, I need to explain something so you won’t think I’m just overreacting to what happened today.”
“I don’t think you overreacted…”
“Wait, just let me explain, okay?”
Ryan nodded her head in agreement as Tobi thought about what to say. Not exactly what, but how.
“When I was in college, my best friend, Terry, became pregnant. The father refused to take any type of responsibility, and her family was so conventional about everything that she was terrified to tell them. She was upset and crying one minute, and the next, she was angry and irrational.” Tobi stopped as her gaze focused on something beyond the window. She took a deep breath and looked back to Ryan before continuing. “We talked for hours about what she should do. I kept telling her that things would be all right, that we’d find a way to deal with this. We decided that I would go with her, and we’d talk to the crisis counselor at school to see what kind of options she had.”
Tobi squeezed Ryan’s hands, saying, “I really thought she felt better about things when we finally went to bed. The next morning, I knocked on her door to see if she was ready. When she didn’t answer, I went in to check on her. She was curled up on her bed; I thought she was asleep. I kneeled on the bed to wake her up and saw three prescription medicine bottles. Ryan, I have no idea how many pills she actually took.” Tobi paused while reflecting back to that morning. She would never forget how still and cold Terry’s body felt. This was her best friend, someone she had loved like a sister. Shaking her head, she looked back at Ryan, and what she saw in her eyes and body language was a quiet understanding.
Ryan pulled Tobi close and held her, knowing from the look of guilt in her eyes the toll this was taking on her.
“I felt like there should have been something more I could’ve done. It hurt terribly knowing that she felt so alone, so isolated, and so dejected about things that she found suicide to be her only option. I ached for the things she would never know, and the child that would never be. That’s what upset me, Ryan. It wasn’t really that woman’s situation, but my impression of her seeming so alone and lost. I know that she is most likely not going to make it, and that just brings to the surface all those old memories of Terry.”
“I can certainly understand why you were upset, and for the record, I don’t believe that you were overreacting. This just tells me that you’re a sensitive and compassionate person.”
“God, you’re so sweet. That means a lot. Thanks.”
They sat quietly for a few minutes until Tobi’s growling stomach interrupted.
“Are you ready to eat now? My empty stomach just reminded me that I invited you to dinner and it’s well past that time,” Tobi asked.
“I’m ready whenever you are.”
“Good, because I’m starving!” Tobi said as she stood up.
When are you not starving?
Ryan thought, smiling to herself.
She hopped off the couch and followed Tobi into the kitchen.
As the final credits rolled on the movie, Ryan glanced at her watch and saw that it was after midnight. Ryan knew she should get going, but she was really enjoying the evening and hated to see it end. She was glad that Tobi was able to relax and enjoy the movie, even though the events earlier in the day were not pleasant.
At some point during the last movie, they had both shifted on the couch so that Tobi was leaning against Ryan’s side; Ryan had her arm across Tobi’s shoulders and Tobi’s head on her chest.
“Tobi?”
“Hmmm?” she mumbled into Ryan’s chest.
“I was just checking to see if you were still awake.”
“I’m awake, just very comfortable.”
“Me, too. But it’s late, I should get out of here so you can get to bed,” Ryan replied as she lifted her arm off Tobi’s shoulders.
I
don’t want to go.
“I’ll walk you to the door.”
I don’t want you to go.
When Ryan slid to the edge of the couch to get up, Tobi put her hand on Ryan’s thigh and waited for her reaction.
Ryan looked into Tobi’s eyes and noticed that they had become a shade darker. The rush of heat from Tobi’s touch made her stomach tighten and her heart thunder. She could feel Tobi shift closer to her. Tobi’s scent had been driving her crazy all night, so clean and fresh with just a hint of something else that she couldn’t describe.
How it happened, Ryan had no idea. One minute they were talking and the next they were only inches from each other. Ryan couldn’t help but notice how inviting Tobi’s lips were. They were so soft and just a touch moist. Ryan’s tongue slipped out to dampen her own lips, and Tobi moaned softly. She saw the desire in Tobi’s eyes, and any reservations Ryan might have had crumbled. She leaned forward, closing the last few inches between them, and gently kissed her lips. As Ryan leaned back to end the kiss, she felt Tobi’s arms go around her neck. Tobi tugged her back and deepened the kiss. When her tongue danced across Ryan’s lips and into her mouth, everything clicked. Ryan felt a sense of contentment that she’d never imagined possible.
Home.
She had never in her life felt like this before. Tobi pulled back and placed kisses on the side of Ryan’s jaw, down her neck, and over her chin to her lips. She rose up on her knees to kiss Ryan’s eyes, her nose then her lips again. It took everything in Ryan’s power to stay still as her body screamed in need, wanting to devour Tobi right then and there. As the kiss slowly ended, Ryan reclined against the couch to catch her breath.
“Wait…I should go…I, I want this so much, but I…”
Tobi placed her fingers over Ryan’s lips to stop her before saying, “I want this, too, but I want you to be comfortable. You’re worth the wait, Ryan, and when it happens, it’ll just happen.”
Ryan needed Tobi to understand that she wanted more than just tonight. The feelings she had for Tobi were intense. It was different from anything she had ever experienced, which made Tobi feel all the more special to her.
Tobi hesitated briefly and sighed, “C’mon, I’ll walk you to the door.”
Standing on her porch, Ryan turned to look at her. Tobi leaned against the door jam and smiled. Ryan couldn’t help but drift closer to place a sweet kiss on her soft lips.
“Good night, Tobi.”
“Good night,” Tobi said as she leaned into Ryan for one more kiss. She wrapped her arms around Ryan’s neck, drawing her in tightly as she whispered in her ear, “Stay.”
tay?” Ryan asked as she pulled back slightly to look into Tobi’s eyes.
S “I really don’t want to be alone tonight. You can even sleep in the guest room if you’d feel more comfortable.” Tobi hesitated before saying, “Please?”
Ryan watched the changing emotions cross Tobi’s face and knew she couldn’t say no. Truth was, she didn’t want to say no.
She knew that Tobi needed comforting. With that in mind, Ryan nodded her head and took Tobi’s hand. “I’ll stay,” Ryan said as she closed the door and turned the locks.
Tobi studied her profile in the dim light
. Her every move is so
graceful. I think I’ve fallen in love with her. Is it too soon to feel
so strongly about her?
As Ryan turned back, Tobi was smiling.
“Ready?” Ryan asked.
“Ready,” Tobi replied. “Where would you like to sleep?”
“Where would you like me to sleep?”
“I’d really like you next to me, if that’s okay,” Tobi said gingerly.
Ryan nodded, and said, “Okay.” She smiled at Tobi and squeezed her hand reassuringly.
Turning out the lights, they walked to the bedroom. As they entered the room, Tobi turned to Ryan. “There’s an extra toothbrush in the top drawer, and I’m sure I have a T-shirt that will fit you just fine.” Tobi pulled out an oversized shirt, handed it to her and pointed to the bathroom. “You can go first.”