Ryan had been devastated when Stacey left. As she stood naked and chilled, towel in hand, she thought back to the day she’d walked through the door of their bedroom and saw two half-packed suitcases on the bed
.
“What’s going on, Stacey?” she asked when Stacey walked
out of the closet.
“What does it look like? I’m leaving. Surely, you didn’t think
this would last forever?” Stacey said, throwing clothes into the
suitcase.
Ryan did, in fact, think it was forever. Their moving in
together signified a commitment in her book, not to mention the
trip planned for the weekend during which Ryan was going to
present her with a ring.
“Why?” Ryan asked, grabbing the shirt from Stacey’s hands.
Stacey put her hands on her hips and glared at Ryan. “How
can you act as if you didn’t know this was coming? Did you
honestly think I’d be happy being a cop’s wife?”
Ryan’s mouth dried up and dropped open. “But…how can you
do this? Don’t I mean anything to you?”
Stacey closed the suitcases and lifted them from the bed. “You
were just a distraction, nothing more.” She brushed past Ryan
and down the stairs. It was only then that Ryan heard a knocking
on the front door. Ryan’s whole body was shaking as she turned
on her heel to follow Stacey.
Stacey reached the door and Ryan’s pulse raced as she
desperately fought for something else to say that might change
Stacey’s mind.
“Stacey! Wait…please!” Ryan pleaded, stumbling down the
last step.
“Goodbye, Ryan.”
Although those were the last words Stacey spoke to her, it was the laughter Ryan heard as the door closed that lingered in her mind and did the most damage. It was all a big joke to Stacey.
Ryan had felt like such an idiot. She never got the impression that things were going downhill, or she would not have purchased the diamond ring or rehearsed what she was going to say. Stacey’s betrayal left her feeling hurt, angry, and guarded, even after two years. Just thinking of the day Stacey left made her sick to her stomach. She had sworn not to let herself be taken for a fool again.
And yet, here she was, shivering and staring at herself in the mirror, getting ready to go out to dinner with someone she hardly knew. Already she feared any sort of attachment at all.
Still, there was something about Tobi. She had seemed so vulnerable earlier, but it took guts to phone the station and ask her out. Also, Ryan had been lonely long enough. Jake’s constant harping hit home at last. She needed to connect with someone. She hoped it would be Tobi.
Ryan finished drying off and glanced back in the mirror. Her face was gaunt and pale and her shaggy bangs were more than due for a cutting. She couldn’t even remember the last time it had been trimmed. Her dark brown hair was well past her shoulders at this point, and it had always been straight. She could never do a thing with it, which was why she pulled it back most of the time.
Bluish-gray eyes stared back at her, and she could see small laugh lines at the edges, making her wonder if she looked older than her thirty-four years. Her best friend Lauren always said that her dimples and smile were to die for; Ryan usually brushed it off, never one to be particularly self-aware.
So why are you noticing these things about yourself now?
Does it hurt to just look?
Is that all this is? Or are you hoping a certain blonde will
notice as well?
Maybe.
Mmm hmm…
Ryan shrugged her shoulders and tossed the towel on the hamper as she walked into the bedroom to get ready. She wasn’t certain if she should dress casual or dress up, so she decided to go for something in between—khaki pants and a red button-down shirt with loafers. She ran a brush through her hair one last time, sprayed on cologne, and headed out the door.
Ryan entered the restaurant and noticed Tobi almost immediately, despite the dim lighting. She was wearing a blue dress that looked absolutely amazing on her. The short sleeves showed off well-toned arms, and the color brought out the blue of her eyes. She stood up as Ryan arrived at the table, and Ryan realized she had no idea how tall Tobi was, since she had not seen her standing. She was only a few inches shorter than Ryan’s five-foot-nine, and was thin but athletic looking.
“Hi, Ryan, I hope this table is okay,” she said.
“This is great. Thanks for inviting me.” Ryan knew she was staring but couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away.
They sat down and glanced through the menu, the waitress appearing almost immediately to take the drink and dinner orders.
After she stepped away, Ryan decided to jump right in and ask Tobi about her day.
“So, do you still want to talk about this afternoon?”
“You know, it really wasn’t for a bad reason that I was crying.
It could have been, but it wasn’t.” She sighed, glancing away before turning back to Ryan. “Are you sure you want to hear all this?”
“Tobi, I don’t say things I don’t mean.”
Tobi hesitated briefly before nodding her head.
“Three years ago, I lost my mother to breast cancer. Since then, I’ve been very good about keeping on top of my health. A little more than a week ago, I found a lump, and it really scared me.” She paused and looked at Ryan with liquid-filled eyes.
Ryan wanted to know why Tobi was upset, but upon seeing the tears in her eyes all Ryan could think of was the need to comfort her.
“I went in for a biopsy, and today I got the test results back.
Luckily, it was just a benign tumor. I was so relieved because I kept imagining the worst. I guess it all just hit me. ”
Ryan impulsively reached over and took Tobi’s hand, her thumb lightly caressing the soft skin.
“I can’t even imagine how you must have felt,” Ryan said softly. “I…well, I’m really glad that things turned out all right.”
“Thanks,” Tobi said with a gentle smile. “Your concern this afternoon was so sweet and really helped. I was pretty overwhelmed. Just thinking about it all made me really miss my mom.”
“Well then, I’m glad I came by when I did,” Ryan said, thinking how just a few minutes earlier or later, and she would have missed the chance to meet this intriguing woman. “And I’m especially happy that we’re here now.”
“So am I.” Tobi gave a little shake of her head, as if dismissing the lingering sadness. In a lighter tone, she said, “So, tell me something about you.”
Ryan started to speak but hesitated as the waitress appeared with their food. “Careful, these plates are hot,” she said. Glancing first at Tobi, then Ryan, she asked, “Do you need anything else?”
“I think I’m good,” replied Tobi.
Ryan nodded, saying, “Me, too.”
The waitress smiled and headed to her next table. Ryan waited a moment before picking the conversation back up again.
“What would you like to know?” Ryan asked.
What
wouldn’t
I like to know, is the question! If she keeps
looking so intently at me with those beautiful eyes, I am never
going to spit it out. Relax, Tobi; pretend she’s just another patient
you’re talking to.
“Anything, just tell me anything,” Tobi finally managed.
“Well, I was born on a cold, dark, and stormy night.” Ryan grinned before continuing. “Seriously though, I’m not sure there is much to tell. I’m just a regular person, living a pretty simple life. I have a house out toward the edge of town, and I drive a Jeep that gets me where I need to go.” She stopped briefly to take a bite before continuing. “I don’t need a five-course meal every time I sit down to eat, but I appreciate a good meal with good company on occasion,” she said. Ryan smiled when she noticed the faint blush on Tobi’s cheeks.
“I really just try to enjoy spending time with the people I love and care about. That’s pretty important for me. When I do go out it’s usually with my best friend, Lauren; my partner, Jake, and his significant other; or with my family. I’m one of five children and the youngest. I’m also the only girl, so you can imagine what growing up was like,” she said, with a bright smile. “Even though my brothers are a bit overprotective and overbearing at times, I wouldn’t change a thing. I love them dearly. How about you?”
“Let’s see, I’m thirty-three, and I have a younger sister. We’re pretty close as well; a lot closer since Mom passed away. She doesn’t live in town, so I don’t get to see her as often as I’d like.
My dad lives in the next town over, about forty minutes away. He and I generally try to get together once a week for dinner.” Tobi took a sip of her drink before asking, “What about your parents?”
“My father was killed in the line of duty two years ago. He was a fire marshal. He usually supervised and didn’t go into burning buildings. However, they had a pretty terrible fire that had consumed three homes already, and he heard screaming. He shouted at some of his men, and they went to see where it was coming from. It was a couple of kids on the top floor of another house.” Blinking rapidly to keep the tears from welling up, Ryan swallowed hard and continued, “He went in to help save them and fell through the floor. He died instantly from a broken neck.”
“Oh, Ryan, I’m so sorry. How horrible!”
“It’s okay, really. I’ve had some time to come to terms with everything, and I know that he died doing what he loved. My mother had a tough time with it…she was angry for a bit, but she wouldn’t have expected anything different from him. If not for him, those children would have died,” Ryan said, her pride for her father showing clearly in her expression.
“Helping people in distress seems to run in your family then, huh?” Tobi replied with a grin.
“I would never put myself in the same group as my father, if you want to know the truth. I have to admit that I really idolized him. He was the strongest, most loyal person I’ve ever had the privilege to know. When I was growing up, he would stand behind me no matter what. He corrected me if I was wrong, but he always did it when it was just he and I. He let other people know that he was proud of me.”
“He sounds like an amazing man.”
“He was. I even got his name, which probably made us closer.
His middle name was Ryan,” she said with a proud smile.
“Then it must make you feel pretty special to be carrying his name.”
Ryan nodded before responding, “Don’t get me wrong. I love my mom, and she’s a wonderfully sweet woman and very proud of her children; it’s just that I guess I was really a daddy’s girl. I think that sometimes my mom wished her little girl liked to cook and dress up and do all the fun girl things, but I also know that she loves me just as I am. Hey, I thought we were here so you could talk,” Ryan said, laughing.
“I’m talking. It’s just that I’m really enjoying listening as well. What do you like to do in your free time?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I like to run, bike, and hike. I love to camp and fish. I love to watch football. I also enjoy reading and just relaxing to soft music on the stereo. See, here I go again. What do you like to do?” Ryan asked, leaning forward to rest her elbow on the table and her chin in the palm of her hand.
“Let’s see, I also like to run and ride my bike. I like to camp and hike. I’m okay with fishing as long as someone else baits the hook,” Tobi said, laughing. “I don’t understand football very much, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like it. I’m great at checkers, and I really like to read, and listen to music. I just enjoy having fun. I don’t care what I’m doing as long as I’m having fun doing it. Does that make sense?”
“It makes perfect sense. Checkers, huh? Care to take me on sometime?” Ryan inquired.
“Any time, any place,” Tobi said, grinning.
Ryan is so easy to
talk to. Her eyes are so expressive; tonight they look like
tumultuous clouds swirling in a thunderstorm. And those
eyelashes, could they be any longer?
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Ryan watched the grin slowly leave Tobi’s face and could tell that she was working up to asking something else, so she waited before saying anything more.
“Um, Ryan …” Tobi paused, looking away briefly and shifting noticeably in her seat. She glanced back up into Ryan’s eyes, and took a deep breath before continuing. “Are you seeing anyone right now?”
Somewhat surprised and a little uneasy about the question, Ryan was slow to answer.
“No, I’m not. It’s been a couple of years since my last relationship.”
“What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Ryan glanced up to see that Tobi was still looking at her, and she knew by the look that Tobi was not just being nice. She was genuinely curious, and Ryan found that she didn’t want to keep anything from her.
“Her name was Stacey, and we had been together for almost two years. She suddenly decided to end our relationship, and I’m still not sure why. I really thought we’d be together forever, but Stacey had other ideas. She had a hard time accepting my job, I guess. I was totally blind-sided by her leaving.” At this point, Ryan wasn’t sure how much she should say. After shifting the napkin in her lap and fiddling with her fork, she focused her attention back on Tobi’s face. Ryan could see quiet understanding in her eyes, and knew she could tell her anything. Still, she felt she’d said enough.
Tobi felt the shutters come down and sat back a little to give Ryan more time and space.
“I don’t trust easily, but I’m learning to overcome that. I—”
Ryan stopped abruptly. She was frustrated with how hard it was to tell Tobi her feelings. Placing her hands on the table and leaning forward slightly, Ryan said half laughingly, half warily, “I have no idea why I’m telling you all this. There’s just something about you that makes me feel so comfortable.”
“Hey, it’s fine. I feel comfortable with you, too,” Tobi said with a smile. “I know we just met, but I can promise that I would never purposefully do anything to hurt you. As for your job, well, I have to like some aspect of it or we never would have met.”