Trailer Park Princess (3 page)

Finally, football camp is over, and summer is ours again! This means days filled with swimming in the creek, riding four wheelers, and spending time in our favorite places.

I have the night off tonight, which is rare. I like to work as much as I can because we need the money, but the more I work, the less I see Toby. Tonight, I have free reign over my life, so I can stay out all day until Toby has to return home. First, swimming at the bluff, which is one of my favorite things to do! I mean, it’s a long walk down the steep side of a nasty cliff—thank heavens someone built stairs, even if there are like two hundred that tend to turn
 after every five or six steps—but in the end it’s a huge pier and rarely busy. It’s the reason we come here instead of the manmade beach where the rest of the school clique is. Toby says I don’t embarrass him, and I usually believe him, but sometimes when I step out in my thrift shop swimsuit, I can’t help but wonder if he is lying. I mean; he looks like a model in his hot pink Ralph Lauren swim trunks. Yet I’m standing here in a full piece that is zebra print with faded red trim. It’s not flattering, but it’s better than the one I had before I started this dream walk with him. I wore the same one when I was twelve. It had unicorns on it for Pete’s sake! Maybe I can send it home with Amandolette. She’s a fashion guru; I bet she could make it come alive. I can thank her for the awesome red plastic hoops I have in my ears that match the suit, as well as the huge plastic framed sunglasses. They are bright red with fake diamonds. It’s not something I would buy (even if I had the money), but Mando thought they looked perfect on me, so she just left them with a scribble LOVE YOU and, wah-lah, I have eye protection! We make it to the end of the pier, and thankfully, only a few people are at one end. Toby lays out the overly huge two-person towel, grabs an old bag of bread for the birds and fish, and we get comfy to grab some sun. The bluff is Toby’s favorite place. There’s a rope tied off the tree branch close to the pier for swinging. He can fish; I can lay out. We can make out, play in the water, or anything we want. It’s very peaceful. We do not even bring the music here. It’s supposed to be this way.

“What’cha looking at, Toby?”

He is staring at me. When I open my eyes, he always is.

“You’re beautiful, Rory. Like, not the hot, sexy, I-want-your-body or the cute-like-a-kid-sister kind, but the classic beautiful. Everything about you is perfect. Even those awful sunglasses,” he chuckles. I blush and attempt to blow off his comment.

“All I need is a little red corvette and an old school Prince CD, and I will be set.” I give him a sweet smile, grab a sip of water, and lay back. I’m caught off guard when a bag plops down beside me.

“There is a happy for you now, but one day your happy will be a little red corvette. I promise.” I snatch the bag up, smiling, and of course, I find a whole bag of Dum Dum suckers in it…yum.

“Why, Tobias, you sneaky thing, you. Are you trying to butter me up? I love me a sticky sucker. Thank you. And as for the car, do not make a promise you can’t keep.”

I think I hear him mumble something about being serious, but I choose to drop it and enjoy my day. I’m banking on us ending up at the field tonight, besides here, it’s the only other place Toby loves to be. He says on the field he feels like he is whole. I understand that; the only time I feel whole is…well…never. I’d like to feel whole. Maybe one day I will find a sacred place, too.

I can’t help but think summer is passing by too fast. Last night was amazing. I love spending time with Toby, even if we end up lying on the fifty-yard line of the football field pointing out stars and blinking airplane lights. I can’t believe I thought it was a UFO once! Ha! I guess I just needed to believe that Han Solo is out there somewhere saving us one bad guy/Sith at a time.

Work is dragging tonight. I hate when we are slow. It does not help that it’s a rare night. Toby is picking me up, and that never happens. Even though he hates knowing I have to walk and talks to me the whole time, it does not change the fact that he has a curfew and my eleven pm clock-out time matches it. However, tonight is special. It’s our two-month anniversary, and he swears he has the best surprise ever.

“Where are we going, Toby?” I ask after about two minutes in the truck. Suspense is not my thing. Toby was on time picking me up, standing with his passenger door open, waiting for me to walk out. He looks so handsome in his cargo khakis, lime polo, and his frayed-on-the-end's leather flip flops, while I’m in all my greasy glory in my fifties inspired diner get up. I usually don’t mind the uniform, but it is the end of a six-hour shift, and I am covered in ketchup and fry grease. I smell like a hamburger, and I do not even want to talk about all the sweat. Yuck.

I push a stray piece of damp hair behind my ear and just stare when we arrive at our destination. “What is this?” I can’t even understand what I’m staring at right now.

“Rory, I think this is it,” he says as he parks the truck off the side of the road behind a huge overgrown bushy-type thing. “Come on; I have to show you something,”

All I see is a death trap. I bet I end up with poison ivy in places my mom hasn’t seen since I was three.

“Toby, what the crap is this? I’m not crawling up that thing until you tell me why.” I stand my ground, fully aware I look like a six-year-old about to throw a tantrum, which I haven’t ruled out yet.

“Rory, please trust me. It’s safe; I checked.” Then he disappears behind a bunch of shrubs and dead, wilted baby trees. He looks so cute climbing up that ladder with his little camouflage backpack. I make my way up the ladder behind him and reach the top safely.

“OK, Toby, spill it now because this is weird.” I look around and notice the spiders. The lights are all blown except for the one on the opposite end. Behind me, higher than I can reach, is a nasty billboard with peeling paper from an old ad about child abuse—
how fitting—
hanging all around. This is, for sure, not the nicest place Toby has taken me, but the wolfish grin on Toby’s face tells me it’s about to be worth it.

He has his bag open and out comes a piece of rolled up paper like a diploma. He pulls out all these little tube-looking pieces and makes quick work of twisting them all together. Ahh, now I see it
. . . He has a small telescope and adjusts it, not acknowledging me at all.

“TOBY, I’M STILL HERE!” He looks up with excitement all over his face. Gosh, I love this guy! To the moon and back as people say, but I love him even more than that.

“OK, Rory, look in here and then open this” he says, still grinning. I can’t help but reach over and lay a light kiss on his cheek. He deserves it. I look first, and all the stars are so bright and beautiful. “Do you see the brightest one in the top left corner?” he asks. I look again.

“Yes, I see it. It’s so much brighter than the rest.” It’s an honest observation. I remember the paper and unroll it. As I read, excitement floods me.

“OMG, TOBY! Seriously? Like really for real seriously?” I look back at the sky and start crying. “I do not even need a telescope to see it, Toby. It’s so bright I can see it just like this.” He is so perfect.

“I know, Rory, but I wanted you to get a great first look. Do you like it?”

I can’t talk because I’m crying like a freaking baby, so I shake my head and just stare. After what seems like years, I turn to him, “No one has ever done anything even close to this.” I giggle, “It’s like our baby. My own star. Toby, this is so amazing! And you named it Saige…simple but ours.”

No one would ever know this, but Saige is the name Toby and I decided on in the midst of a serious conversation one night while stargazing on the field. When we grow up and have kids, no matter the baby's sex, it will be named Saige. It’s weird, but Toby swears it’s the actual color of my eyes.
  And now, here he is giving me just that. I even have a certificate proving Saige is my star straight from the Name a Star registry. For the first time, I feel whole. Toby has given me my sacred place. Right here on this old, dilapidated, stinky, broken billboard with our star.  As far as I’m concerned, she—yes, I appointed my star a girl—is our baby. All ours. No one can ever take her from me. It is perfect, and I know right then that I will spend lots of time here.

Summer love is the best. It’s like a whirlwind: it swoops in and leaves a mess in its path, but it’s wild, fast, and fun. To be honest, I’m a little nervous today. Summer break finished, as I knew it would. Toby and I spent every single day together—except Sundays of course—swimming, kissing, chasing fireflies, star gazing, kissing, Starbuckin’ it up, and did I mention the heavy duty make out sessions that bordered “R” ratings? Yeah, life was good. Today, however, is the nerve-wracking first day of school, and Toby and I do not run in the same cliques. He says it will be fine, but honestly, I doubt that. Zac, his best friend, hates me along with the rest of his crowd. Not to mention Ashley. She is Toby’s ex, and she has made it clear that he is too good for me. Her weekly trips to The Diner consisted of nasty remarks about my hand-me-down clothes and shoes, milkshakes always seeming to jump off the table, and, holy Batman, her burger was
ALWAYS
wrong. I learned to ignore her, and finally Mando’s mom told her if she accidentally dropped one more drink, she was responsible for the cost. At least they finally stopped doing that. Too bad she could not be charged for the ugly names and cat calls she hissed at me. Oh well, some girls are total trash bags no matter how much money they have, and she is Queen Bag a middle class skag.

Halfway down the hall this morning, I decided it best to veer off from Toby with an excuse about running by the office to see if I could take classes to get caught back up and graduate this year with him. Too bad when I made the comment to him he said it was nonsense and that we could go together after school. Apparently, he has pull with the staff via his KING OF THE WORLD quarterback status.

I’m not oblivious to the scowls on his friends’ faces, but Toby seems to be. He has his arm draped around my neck and doesn’t move it to high five his teammates and the plastic crew. No one speaks to me, even when he introduces me. Luckily, Amandolette never leaves my side. One dude does compliment my awesome throwback Pink Floyd t-shirt, so I give him a soft smile. But that causes backlash because Toby drops a sweet kiss on the corner of my mouth at seeing my smile, making me melt, and when I open my eyes, I see Ashley huffing and stomping down the hall. I know I will pay for that later. The same guy also asks where I found my original Chuck Taylors, but when I explained, I had to dig in the discount bin at  Broke-n-Cheap, his face scrunched up like someone hit him in the face with a skunk. Sorry, but if you want the best, you have to dig, and sometimes in some nasty places.

My classic black Chucks are my favorite out of everything I own. I look funny today, though. I have on the black Chucks, Mando’s ripped denim skirt, and my Pink Floyd tee. I thought it was fine, but Mando wouldn’t let me leave until she had fashioned a loose neon yellow leather belt around the skirt, placed matching plastic hoops in my ears, and added this weird eternity headband to my hair that had a funky rainbow on it that laid flat against my hair. It’s a weird sort of hair ornament. Toby flicked it and scrunched his nose when he picked me up, but then he winked and never mentioned it. Obviously, he doesn’t care what I wear. Wish I could say the same about his friends, minus the one guy. I think his name is Clay. I notice when he walks away he has on a pair of awesome Jack Purcell’s. Even if they are boat shoes, they are awesome. His wrist is sporting an amazing leather cuff with one small gunmetal colored logo on it. I could not make it out, but it was still awesome, and I wanted one.

The month following the start of school is a weird one. Toby insists I sit at his table, which thankfully includes Mando. She and I talk while he hollers and hoots with his group. Funny that even after a month, no one talks to Mando or me much except for Clay. But I have noticed a few plastics have adopted her quirky style. The big bulky plastic toothbrush bracelets she made caught on like wildfire, like all her other weird stuff. Even I have like six to match everything.

Tonight’s the first football game of the year, and it’s Toby’s last year to play.
 He was right about his influence helping me get into the extra classes I need to graduate this year, but it still may not be enough. I have the credits to graduate this year but not all the required classes. I’m doing extra work and staying late twice a week. I can’t devote any more time, though. I have a job, and it feeds Thax and me. I’m still going to be two classes short. I have considered getting my G.E.D., but it costs money I do not have. Toby offered to pay for it, but it feels wrong to let him. Besides, can I really leave Thax to follow Toby to college? We do not talk about it because Toby gets all worked up, and sometimes his temper is ridiculous to say the least. Once, he got mad at me for walking home when I got off early and not calling him. He did not speak to me for two full days. He is somewhat spoiled, being an only child, and is way too used to getting his way.

The bell rings, and the room clears out. Lunch is over, and the team will be spending the rest of the day in the field house preparing for the game. The cheerleaders, aka the plastics, go to hang all the posters around the field. I have study hall the last hour and a half of the day, and I use it to do my extra work. At least next year I will have most of the day off from school through the work program. I will be out of here by ten, meaning a full eight-hour work shift as soon as it opens up. Or maybe even another part-time job.

Thax has shown interest in playing football now thanks to Toby showing him stuff over the summer while at the park. Maybe with a full-time job, I can afford to make sure he has what he needs to play.

Before he leaves the lunchroom, Toby wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me close, letting his hand slip a little too far down my back. “Love you, baby. Remember to text me when you get to the gate, and I will come get you. Being my girl gives you special advantages.” I let out a yip and blush.

“OK, love you.” This lands me a classic Toby move. He does not kiss me; he is too loving for that. Instead, he leans down and licks my face from my cheekbone to my eye.

”Eww, Toby, you likely have a tongue fungus now,” Ashley comments as she walks by, trying to take his hand and pull him with her since they have to go the same way.

“Shut up. I got rid of the fungus when I got rid of you,” he says as he jerks his hand away from hers. He turns to me and winks, giving me his wannabe bad boy grin. It suits him, though. He is just too perfect.

Game nights are always the same. I show up, and Toby lets Amandolette and me in. We take our seats on the front row of the bleachers by the band and watch Toby in all his awesomeness. He has a golden arm, no doubt. He controls his team. He is in every way a perfect leader: strong, confident, and in control. As soon as halftime rolls around, he runs to where I sit and gives me a quick kiss on the forehead, reminding me he loves me, and tells me I am his lucky charm.

His mom is always there, burning me with her superhero laser eyes. I may be the only one who notices, but she is so trying to fry me.

Mando ALWAYS comments on Toby’s affection towards me. “Seriously, Rory, like does he EVER do anything wrong? He is just so perfect to you, seriously like the sweetest dude EVA!” Then she busts out her overly dramatic sigh and throws her hand over her forehead, acting as if she is about to faint. I love her so much. She even convinced her mom to schedule me off every home game. Her mom also discounts anyone on the team’s milkshakes after the game, so we always end up there before heading home. It’s always a rough drive-by drop off because I am so full after that, but I wouldn’t change anything. Mando has even taken over some pick up duties. She takes me to work when Toby has practice. Apparently, they have a secret service text system because sometimes I never know whom I’ll get until I see them coming. But it never fails, I always have a ride now. After that one time, I did not tell Toby, he swore someone would always pick me up. He is worried someone will snatch me up. Yeah right. Like someone would want me. Even if someone did pick me up, it could not be worse than what I have been through already. Toby does not know how many drunks I have had to fight off in my life thanks to Carol’s adventures. I learned long ago to add Benadryl to their beers so they would pass out verses being up after Carol passed out. Once I had to fight a bastard before the pill kicked in. He almost won, running his nasty, dirty hands under my nightshirt, but the Benadryl kicked in, and he passed out on top of me, all 270 pounds of
 big, stinky, brown-wife-beater-wearing, pinky penis of him. Yes, I could feel it pressing into my inner thigh before he crashed. That was a close call.
Saved by the Benadryl
. Toby would run away with me if he knew that. It’s going to be so hard when he leaves for college, but we will make it. When you are meant to be together, it’s the only choice.

The air’s chilled, and the bugs are not biting as bad tonight. It’s funny…the one game I miss is homecoming. Toby insisted I use the time to doll up. He is actually taking me to meet his mother. Amandolette helped me shop at the thrift store for a dress. She begged me to borrow her old one, but I wanted to do this my way. Not only could I not use her money or clothes, but also I wanted Mrs. West to meet me as me, not a fake version. We spent all day digging and searching until I found THE ONE. I did, however, borrow gold heels from Mando. Now she is dragging me to my room with her complete makeup kit in tow. She has me sitting on the edge of my bed while she stands between my legs with her thumb and finger holding my eyelids wide while she smoothes liquid eye shadow across it.

“Oh, holy night, Mando, does that shit have glitter in it?” I screech as she holds up the bluish black eye liner.

“Ha, yeah, its fab; just trust, kay kay, you are going to be like hotter than hot, no doubt, babe. Kim K does not look like this when she’s on the red carpet on her best night. TRUTH!” She steps back looking at her work, then hits me with a clear shimmer gloss. “Now smack.” When I do, her mouth drops and she whispers, “Rory, you’re stunning.” I walk over to the mirror, terrified of what I will see. I already know the dress is not me. I mean, it’s pretty, but it’s not cut off Wal-Mart shorts or thrift store couture. WAIT… actually it is. Now I smile before seeing my image. She speaks again, but I do not turn around. “Geez, I need to go thrift shopping for mine next time.”

I just stare. I do not even recognize the girl I see looking back at me. The dress is an emerald green baby doll style. It has micro spaghetti straps and a heart-shaped top covered in huge emerald sequins. The bottom is a loose tulle type that hits right above my knees. The shoes are five-inch gold t-straps, and my hair…oh my hair…she has made it so pretty. She has hit the ends with a curling iron, and then pulled in three places starting at the crown of my head, slightly adjusting the second and third pull towards the left, where she secured it hanging over my shoulder. It hangs down past my chest. The deep red color is crisp and shiny.

I am about to start crying when Mando stops me in my tracks, “I have the perfect gift for you, Rory.”

I turn to face her as she hands me a few pieces of gold jewelry. First is a hairpin, a flat gold barrette. She pins it in the bottom pull at my shoulder. Then she hands me earrings that are big gold hoops. On the hoops are three spikes hanging down, the one in the middle longer than the two outer ones. Next, she hands me a beautiful bracelet. It is meant to be tough but delicate at the same time. It has one row of gold spikes on it, and to me it is perfect. It’s so me. I walk over to my dresser, grab the only piece of jewelry I own, and slide it on my finger. It is my mother’s wedding band. She tried to pawn it once, but the broker said ‘It held no weight’ and was worthless. They took the band with a diamond in it, giving her less than a hundred dollars for it, but left this band with her. She threw it at the counter saying it was useless and walked off. I remember the pudgy guy picking it up and handing it to me. “Keep it safe, little one,” he said, “It may be all you have left one day.” I put it in my pocket and turned to run after Carol. After that day, she was merely Carol to me, not Mom.  This ring is all I have left of my father. He left us, but I can’t blame him; Carol was the one acting out. Finding out she was knocked up by his best friend was the last straw. I just wish he hadn’t left me, too.  It worked out the way it should have, I suppose. I love Thax no matter who his dad is, and he needs me so it was the right choice. If I saw my dad now, I would hug him and tell him thank you for at least trying.