Train Man
Authors: Nakano Hitori
Train Man
Nakano Hitori
Translated by Bonnie Elliott
ROBINSON
London
Constable & Robinson Ltd
55–56 Russell Square
London WC1B 4HP
First published in Japan by Shinchosha Publishing 2004
First published in the UK by Robinson,
an imprint of Constable & Robinson Ltd, 2006
Permission for this edition was arranged through The English Agency (Japan) Ltd
Copyright © in English translation: Constable & Robinson Ltd 2006
All rights reserved. This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out or otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
A copy of the British Library Cataloguing in
Publication Data is available from the British Library.
ISBN-13: 978-1-84529-351-2
ISBN-10: 1-84529-351-7
eISBN-13: 978-1-47210-784-8
Printed and bound in the EU
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2
Mission 1
Emergency Request [Help me with dinner]
Mission 2
I’ll Just Hold on Tightly to You
Mission 3
She Pulled My Hand Lightly
Mission 4
The Time for the Cups have Arrived
Mission 5
Stop Leading Me on So Much
Mission 6
The Miraculous Final Chapter
Post-fin
‘You Were Trying So Hard ....’
1
Emergency Request [Help me with dinner]
Comments posted by a Geek thread netizen:
731 Name: Anonymous Post Date: 14/03/04 21:25
Sorry. I may end up betraying you guys.
I’m no good at writing so don’t know how well I can tell this story.
Damn. This thread’s got something going on . . .
May the force be with you . . .
No way could anybody have known that this board, commonly composed of banal postings, was about to morph into a support group and fan club for Train Man.
732 Name: Anonymous Post Date: 14/03/04 21:27
freakinfrakinfreakinfrakinnnnnnnn
733 Name: Anonymous Post Date: 14/03/04 21:28
what’s goin’ on man?
734 Name: Anonymous Post Date: 14/03/04 21:28
>>731
did you get a girlfriend?
737 Name: Anonymous Post Date: 14/03/04 21:33
>>734
sadly no. But something really big came up. This kind of stuff sounds too much like I’m making it up. Anyway, the point is that you guys really need to get out more . . .
738 Name: Anonymous Post Date: 14/03/04 21:35
sorry. Ok, I thought about it some more and it’s actually not such a big deal . . .
Deep breath . . .
739 Name: Anonymous Post Date: 14/03/04 21:36
>>737
how many times have I typed this,
d.e.t.a.i.l.s por favor
740 Name: 731 Post Date: 14/03/04 21:38
>>739
It’s gonna come out all weird.
But I’ll try anyway.
I’m usually the one reading, not posting . . .
So don’t take the piss . . .
749 Name: 731 Post Date: 14/03/04 21:55
I went to Akihabara today. Not that there was anything I wanted to buy. Anyway, on my way back there was this old drunk guy on the train. Other than the old geezer and myself, all the people sat in our car were women.
20s–40s I reckon.
Anyway, he started harassing the women in our car.
First he tried to harass this girl but she wasn’t having it and got off at the next stop. I watched him out of the corner of my eye thinking what a creep he was.
Then the guy comes over to where I was, right in the centre and leans over a group of older women. ‘Don’t even think about using your mobiles coz I’ll ’ave you!’ he goes, scaring the shit out of the women. They were like
– all silent.
Ok this might turn into a long one.
763 Name: 731 Post Date: 14/03/04 22:15
>>761
I’m not sure if it’s going to lead to anything but . . .
If only I’d had the balls . . .
All right, I’m gonna write through it. Get it together.
766 Name: 731 Post Date: 14/03/04 22:23
The old dears sat very still with their heads down ‘Best not to notice him’ was the idea.
Then the guy started on about ‘Women should shut up and do what a man says’ and he pushed his hand into one of the ladies’ faces and grabbed her chin.
I couldn’t just sit back anymore so I forced myself to shout ‘Hey, stop it!’ My voice was probably shaking.
You know, I’ve never even been in a fight.
But the guy apparently didn’t hear me so there was no response.
‘Hey! Mate! I said cut it out ameghrrrghrrr!’ I stood up and did my best to yell out a second time. Then one of the ladies looked over at me and said ‘don’t worry, we’re fine’ trying to calm me down.
The guy finally realised what was going on and turned round. ‘What are you staring at me like that for eh?’ He glared at me.
He staggered over.
‘Hhhow f@*%ing old are ya?’
‘I’m 22!’
‘I’m f@*%ing 60 arraghrrrgftttt’
I couldn’t make out half his words but basically, he was telling me I was a young punk or something.
‘So you want some of this? Eh? Some of this?’
The old geezer was ready to fight.
‘Huh? What are you talking about. I’m gonna call the police.’
‘Go the f@*% ahead and call the police rrrghh.’
He started swinging his arms around stumbling about. While he swung his arms, he must have lost his balance because he side-swiped a woman. It wasn’t a major slap or anything but still.
Um, how do you cut a long story short . . . ?
766 Name: 731 Post Date: 14/03/04 22:37
‘Oh!’ said the woman as she pulled back.
I jumped up and grabbed the man by his arms.
One of the older ladies got up to call the conductor.
Then a businessman in his late 20s who was in the car in front of us noticed the commotion and came over to help. Seeing the geezer and me grappling the businessman got behind the guy and put him in an armlock.
‘All right, mate, all right. Just don’t take it out on the boy.’
You could tell this businessman was a bit older and knew a thing or two. I mean he knew how to calm the situation down.
‘I’ll keep him right here so you can sit down now.’
I was pretty worked up, really pumped, so this business man even calmed me right down. And wouldn’t you know it the old guy didn’t even put up a fight. Maybe he knew he wouldn’t be able to beat the guy which means, damn it, that he thought I was gonna be a pushover.
I sat down next to a woman who said ‘What a nuisance’ to which I replied
‘Yes, absolutely’
Why I couldn’t say something wittier, I’ve no idea.
I’m tired . . .