Twisted Mind (Chequered Flag #2) (2 page)

Chapter Two

Dustin

Only once I’d returned to my flat did I allow the full torrent of emotions to crash down upon me. I slammed the front door and stormed through all of the rooms, checking to make sure they were empty.

Of course they were.

Teo was in the middle of a race and Raine was no doubt still there cheering him on.

With a strangled choke that merged into a sob, I collapsed on to the sofa, hunched over my lap, and buried my face in my arms. My shoulders heaved as my cries broke free and I began to tremble.

I couldn’t believe she’d done it.

I’d only just started getting used to the idea of becoming a father and now I’d never get the chance to even see a picture of him or her, let alone hold them in my arms. They had been the only good thing to come out of mine and Elora’s relationship and now even that was tarnished.

I had no concept of how long I remained curled over and I didn’t care. Inexorable pain speared my heart and forced it to fight for every beat as it slowly bled out. Another sob wracked my body and I linked my fingers against the back of my neck to hold myself in place. Rocking back and forth I struggled to breathe around my suffocating cries.

Finally wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, my gaze fell upon the deck of cards on the coffee table. I needed the order they brought me. They allowed me to be in control when everything else spiralled around me.

I slid them out of the packet and shuffled them. My hands shook violently, making the slippery cards hard to hold. Once they were in a random order, I fanned them out and with practised precision began to rearrange them.

Hearts, jacks, diamonds, clubs.

Red, black, red, black.

Two, three four, five…jack, queen, king, ace.

My hands flew over the cards, organising them swiftly until I was happy with them. Then I shuffled the deck again and started the process once more with a different arrangement this time.

I could control the outcome of this. It was ordered, concrete. No one could interfere with the pattern. The cards did what I wanted and they only formed a jumbled mess when I made them.

Not like my thoughts or emotions.

I had no control over those. They grew bigger inside me until they devoured me completely, and I was powerless to do anything to stop them. Each thought cracked my chest open a little further and the cards weren’t helping in the slightest.

With a cry of frustration I hurled the cards across the room after fifteen minutes. They spun and fluttered, each one twirling so the glossy surfaces caught the daylight, then settled on the floor.

I heaved myself up from the sofa, needing something more effective at numbing the pain and desensitising my thoughts.

I headed into my room to retrieve the bottle of Jack Daniels I kept in there and took a swig straight from the bottle. I settled back on to the sofa with it, kicked my feet up, and nursed the drink. The fiery liquid burned my throat, yet compared to the rest of the agony shredding me I relished the sweet pain as it slowly removed the bad from my mind.

* * *

The sound of a door unlocking and creaking open vaguely registered in my deadened state. How long I’d been sitting on the sofa I couldn’t say. All I knew was it had been long enough for the alcohol to have consumed me. I brought the bottle up to my lips to take another sip as a set of footsteps rushed over to my side.

“Geez, what the hell happened, Dustin?” Raine gasped.

Her hand reached out to the scratch marks on my cheek. With a grunt I retreated from her touch. I didn’t want a reminder they were there. They were the first noticeable sign of Elora’s abuse and I despised wearing her marks. Usually the bruises would be covered by clothes, and although I detested those too, at least I’d been the only one to know about them. The alcohol had made me forget the gashes were even there, and Raine brought it all back with a startling force.

“Leave me alone, Raine,” I snarled.

“What did she do, Dustin? Please, we can help.”

I snapped my head to her, fixing her with a glare. I caught sight of Teo over her shoulder, his gaze full of concern. Ignoring them both I lifted the bottle again, taking a long drink.

I swiped the back of my hand over my mouth. “I said. Fuck. Off. Go play happy families together and leave me alone.”

Because they had the chance to play happy families, unlike me. They’d grow old together, have kids, grandkids even. They’d have it all and in one fell swoop I’d lost my best friend and my brother. Neither of them needed me now they had each other.

Hell, I didn’t even have Elora, not that I wanted her.

I definitely didn’t have my baby.

I had no one.

Vaguely I heard Teo shouting something and then he appeared at Raine’s side, his hand on her back.

“I don’t need your help.” Keeping my focus on them I raised the bottle back up to my lips with a shaky hand. I needed the burning fire to take away the thoughts clawing their way to the surface once more. The blanket of alcohol I’d created needed to be reinforced.

I misjudged the distance, missing my mouth so the cool liquid sloshed down the front of my shirt. I glared at the wet patch, then at Raine and Teo. “Shit, now look what you made me do.”

Raine turned to walk away, muttering to herself. “I’ll get a cloth.”

“No! I don’t fucking need your help. Just get out of here!” I pulled myself off the sofa, squaring my shoulders. My chest heaved with deep, angry breaths and the rage bubbled inside of me.

“Dustin, please. Let me be there for you,” Raine whimpered.

“Come on, Dust,” Teo pleaded. “You need to stop this, it’s not healthy. Put the drink away and go take a shower.”

Like a shower was going to fix everything. I couldn’t wash away my problems.

“You want me to put this down?” I held the bottle so it lined up with my ear. “Okay, I’ll put it down.”

With all of the force I could summon I threw it at the nearest wall. The glass shattered and fell to the floor, leaving a hole in the plasterboard and a splatter of liquid around it. “There you go. Now leave me the fuck alone.”

“Go get your things, Raine. I’ll calm him down,” Teo ordered and Raine scurried off.

The pain slammed into me with a vengeance. I clawed at my chest in an attempt to hold my heart together and glared at Teo. He remained unfazed by my hostility and stepped towards me, his hands outstretched in a gesture I guessed was meant to placate.

“What’s going on, Dust? What has she done to you?”

“None of your damn business,” I hissed and moved to step around him, my eyes fixed on the door. I couldn’t stand to be in the room with them another second. It hurt too much to see what they had and only reminded me of what I would never get.

“Dustin, please. This is getting serious now. We’re worried about you.”

“It’s over, okay? For good this time. I’m never going back to the bitch.”

Teo’s expression remained grim. “I’m pleased to hear it, although what about the drinking? You can’t keep doing this. You’re putting your career on the line.”

“Fuck it all. It means nothing.”

“You don’t mean that.”

I snorted. “Don’t I?”

“Don’t throw it all away, Dustin. Not for her. She’s taken too much from you already. Don’t give her this as well.”

Before I could respond the door to Raine’s room opened and she stepped out cautiously with a bag thrown over her shoulder.

Somewhere deep inside my mind and under the cloud of alcohol a pang of guilt gnawed away at me from the fear I’d put in her eyes.

“Have you got everything you need?” Teo asked her, drawing her beneath his arm.

Raine nodded, though she kept her focus on me. “Yes. Dustin, are you sure you don’t want us to stay? We don’t mind.”

I threw my arms in the air with a groan. “What don’t you understand from go away?”

“Nothing, it’s just—”

I stalked around the sofa and Teo positioned his body between me and Raine, which only served to infuriate me further. I’d without a doubt crossed the line of reasonable and rational thought, yet I wasn’t
that
far gone.

Storming across the room to the front door I didn’t spare them a second glance. “Forget it.
I’ll
go.”

Neither of them had time to stop me or even comment. I opened the front door, stepped into the hallway, and slammed the door behind me.

With my fists balled at my side and my arms locked I strode through the complex, heading straight for the stairwell. My heavy footsteps thundered around me as I hurried away.

It took less than a minute to reach the ground floor. I smashed my hands into the doors leading to the lobby. With my gaze firmly fixed on the exit I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings. Something soft hit my chest, making me stumble, and an angry snarl ripped from me at the person who had hindered my escape.

“Watch where you’re going,” I spat over my shoulder, not bothering to stop.

Chapter Three

Tazia

The shoulder came out of nowhere. I’d been so focused on trying to shuffle the cardboard box at my feet along the floor to the lift, I didn’t see him approaching until it was too late. He hit me hard, forcing my body to spin. My crutches tangled around my broken leg, twisting my body at an awkward angle.

In a split second, my balance deserted me and I could do nothing to stop myself. My back collided with the cold, hard floor of the lobby, knocking all of the air from my lungs. I lay there for a minute, startled. When my breath finally returned I cursed my need to move so much pointless crap I should have left behind.

I shook my arms from my crutches and with a groan raised both hands to scrub my face.

What a perfect way to start my new life in my new flat.

I inhaled deeply to compose myself.

“Hey, are you okay there?” A tall, lanky guy appeared from around the box resting next to my head. His eyes sparkled with worry, the baby blue irises boring into me. When he crouched down beside me, his sandy hair flopped over his forehead.

“Oh, I’m just
peachy
. Some jackass knocked me over and now I’m stuck on the floor thanks to this bloody cast.” I frowned, mentally berating myself for being so rude. “Sorry, that came out wrong.”

His lips quirked up at the corners. “Here, let me help you up. I’m Perry by the way.”

“Tazia.”

Perry offered out both of his hands, widened his stance, and gripped my wrists tightly. Then, with a surprising amount of strength for someone so skinny, he hauled me to my feet. Well,
foot
considering I had to balance on one leg. Perry stooped to pick up my crutches and held them out for me to slide my arms into.

“Are you hurt?”

“My body, no more than it was to begin with. My pride is another story.”

“It wasn’t your fault. The person who knocked you over should have looked where he was going or at least stopped to help you.”

I shrugged. He should have, only I got the feeling he was in a bad mood. “Let’s hope I don’t run into him again. The last thing I need is another asshole in my life.”

Realising what I’d said, I dropped my gaze to the floor and readjusted my grip on my crutches.

Perry must have sensed my unease because he said, “So you’re moving in?”

I glanced up through my lashes. “Yeah. Although I severely overestimated my ability to move this stuff. It takes forever to shuffle the boxes in from my car. I didn’t really think this thing out.”

“You’re lucky they fixed the lift recently.” He chuckled. “I can help, if you want.”

“Oh no, I didn’t mean to imply…you probably have better things to do. There isn’t much so don’t worry about it. I’ll pile it all by the lift and the shove it all in at once.” My cheeks flushed. I honestly hadn’t meant to sound like I needed help.

“It’s no trouble.” I opened my mouth to protest and he cut me off. “I’m not going to let you do this by yourself on a broken leg, Tazia. You’ll be here all day and what if you fall down again?”

I tilted my head to the side. “You sure are pushy for having just met me.”

“At least I didn’t literally push you over.” He smirked and I winced. “Sorry, too soon?”

I laughed. “Okay, a hand would be great. Thank you. My car’s the red one out front. A…friend dropped me off in it, but couldn’t stay to help. There are only a few boxes and bags.”

I hadn’t been able to bring all of my belongings, and had only grabbed as much as I could fit in my tiny car. Though my leaving had been planned, I’d left everything until the last minute which forced me to prioritise the items important to me. Everything I’d left behind could stay in the past.

“Can I have your keys? I’ll bring all of the boxes in here first and then I’ll take them up in the lift.”

It took a moment for my brain to catch up, leaving me staring at him in confusion.

“Your car keys,” Perry clarified.

“Oh, it’s all open already.”

Perry nodded and instantly disappeared out of the lobby so I used the moment of reprieve to inspect myself.

Tentatively I raised a hand to my head, examining the surface for a bump. Thankfully, I only found a minor amount sensitivity when I poked at my back, where a bruise would no doubt form.

Great.

* * *

“Well, that’s the last of it.” Perry placed the final box down in my new living room. He hadn’t allowed me to lift a single thing. I’d been delegated the job of holding the lift doors open and watching as he made eight trips up and down to bring all of my belongings up. “Do you need me to help you unpack?”

“No,” I replied too quickly. Then realising I probably sounded rude again, I softened my tone. “It’s okay. You’ve done more than enough. I would offer you a drink, but…” I gestured around the bare room, letting the emptiness speak for itself.

“How about you go to dinner with me instead?”

I whirled my head in his direction. My instincts told me to decline because I was spoken for. However, the sight of my bare hand reminded me that no longer held true. I studied him curiously, questioning his motives.

“Won’t I be indebted to you twice if you pay for dinner?”

Playfulness danced in Perry’s eyes. “Who said I’m paying?”

Heat prickled at my cheeks and I focused on the door over his shoulder. I didn’t have the money to be wasting on meals for two, not with the amount of sick leave I had taken.

“Oh…uh…I…”

He laughed, the corners of his mouth curving to expose a glistening smile. “Relax, Tazia. Of course I’d be paying, and no, you wouldn’t be indebted to me. Think of it as you repaying me with your company. I’d like to learn more about you.”

I dragged my teeth over my bottom lip.

“What do you say?”

“Can you wait until I get this cast off? Everything becomes ten times more difficult with it.”

Perry glanced down like he’d forgotten the big block of plaster was even there. “Sure.” He met my gaze with humour. “This isn’t your way of hoping I’ll forget, is it?”

“It’s not.” Though my reassurance came quickly, he probably didn’t realise it would be weeks, maybe even months before I recovered fully.

Perry wedged his hands into his pockets. “How did you break it in the first place?”

“Oh, just a stupid accident.” I swatted my comment away, although my insides churned at the thought of relaying what happened. At my nonchalance, Perry’s lips formed a stern, thin line and sensing he was about to attempt to dig deeper, I glanced around the room and clapped my hands together. “Well, I’d better get started on turning this place into a home. Thanks again for the help. I’d probably still be on the floor if you hadn’t showed up.”

Perry couldn’t conceal the minute frown at my dismissal, but he covered it quickly. “Sure, no problem. If you need anything else, I’m one floor up in flat nine.”

He walked over to the front door and I followed him.

“I’ll see you around, Tazia.”

Leaning against the door frame, I smiled and waved. When he was a few metres down the hall I shut the door and sank against the wood. Tilting my head back, I held the air in my lungs until I could no longer bear the pressure.

Why did I always seem to attract the pushy people? I didn’t need people digging into my past.