Read Uncle John's Ahh-Inspiring Bathroom Reader Online

Authors: Bathroom Readers' Institute

Uncle John's Ahh-Inspiring Bathroom Reader (70 page)

The sole survivor of the crash, Rees-Jones, received head injuries and claims the last thing he remembers was leaving the Ritz. He told investigators that Paul did not act drunk at the hotel. As Al-Fayed's bodyguard, Rees-Jones would have had the responsibility to note whether the driver was in a condition to drive safely.

Was the blood test rigged? Was Henri Paul a scapegoat?

Did Rees-Jones expect trouble?
Rees-Jones was the only person in the Mercedes wearing a seatbelt. Did the former British paratrooper know something?

Was another car involved?
Investigators found evidence that the Mercedes had been grazed by another vehicle just before the crash. Pieces of a taillight and flecks of white paint embedded into the front bumper of the Mercedes probably belonged to a white Fiat Uno, according to their investigations.

Witnesses report seeing a small car cut in front of the Mercedes moments before the crash. Some speculate that the car intentionally slowed down in front of the fast-moving Mercedes as it rounded a slight corner in the tunnel, causing Henri Paul to swerve. The white Fiat has never been found.

Was there an explosion in the tunnel
before
the crash?

Eyewitnesses report hearing a loud bang in the tunnel just before the crash. Others say they saw a bright light, much brighter than that made by a photographer's flash. Was someone trying to disorient or blind the driver of the Mercedes?

Why did it take so long to get Diana to the hospital?
The doctor who arrived at the site about a minute after the crash quickly noted the conditions of the passengers, then called emergency services. The first ambulance didn't arrive until 15 minutes later. Diana was treated at the scene for more than 30 minutes after rescue personnel pulled her from the car. The closest hospital with 24-hour emergency service was only a few miles away, normally a 5- to 10-minute drive. The ambulance carrying Diana took 40 minutes to reach the hospital, finally arriving almost two hours after the crash.

Myth-understood: The
low man
on a totem pole is the most important man in the tribe
.

26% of American men say their workplace filing system consists of “putting things in piles.”

CONSPIRACY THEORIES

Diana was killed by British intelligence.
Richard Tomlinson, a former British intelligence agent, claims British intelligence had the expertise to fake Diana's crash. He knew of a British plan to assassinate Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevic by faking a car crash similar to the one that killed Diana. According to that plan, the crash would take place in a tunnel and the driver would be disoriented with a powerful strobe light.

Mohamed Al-Fayed has said he is “99.9% certain” Diana and his son were murdered. According to Al-Fayed, British and American intelligence agencies had Diana under surveillance for years and were following her and Dodi for three months before the crash.

Al-Fayed has stated that he believes British intelligence killed Diana and Dodi, and that the CIA has documents directly implicating Prince Philip, Queen Elizabeth's husband. According to Al-Fayed, a document quotes Philip as saying of the relationship between Diana and Dodi, “Such an affair is racially and morally repugnant and no son of a Bedouin camel trader is fit for the mother of a future king.”

In many ways Diana was an annoyance to the Royal Family and its supporters. After the end of her “fairy tale” marriage to Prince Charles, she aired her uncomplimentary views of the queen, her former husband, and the rest of the Royal Family in
the press. And the public took Diana's side against the Royals. Some felt Diana was a real threat to the monarchy. Maybe her intent to marry Dodi Al-Fayed was the last straw.

Diana was killed by the CIA.
Mohamed Al-Fayed claims the CIA has a secret dossier of more than 1,000 pages on Diana. The princess personally campaigned against the use of landmines, visiting injured victims in Angola and Bosnia. Her high-profile involvement led to an international treaty banning landmines that has been ratified by 125 nations. The United States, a major producer of landmines, has not signed the treaty. Diana was a nuisance to the American arms industry… but would she have been targeted for assassination?

Diana was killed by Israeli agents.
England, along with the United States, has been a strong supporter of Israel in the ongoing conflicts between that country and its Arab neighbors. If Diana—mother of a future king of England, Prince William—married an Egyptian, gave birth to half-Arab children, or even converted to Islam, public opinion and official policy may have turned against Israel.

Poll result: Popcorn-eaters are three times more likely to cry in the movies than non-popcorn-eaters.

ONE OTHER POSSIBILITY

Diana faked her own death.
In spite of overwhelming evidence that Diana died in the crash, some observers believe that she wanted to escape the pressures of her public life so badly that she staged her own death.

Could the driver of the Mercedes have dropped Diana and Al-Fayed off somewhere before entering the tunnel? The army-trained bodyguard, Rees-Jones, may have had the expertise to make a switch. Is Diana really living somewhere in blissful anonymity?

Still other people believe Diana planned to set up the accident… but something went wrong and the plan backfired.

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