Uncle John’s Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader (88 page)

Read Uncle John’s Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader Online

Authors: Bathroom Readers’ Institute

July Birthstone:
Ruby (various shades of red—blue ones are called sapphires)

Background:
Rubies were used in the 13th century as a prescription for liver ailments and were believed to preserve mental and physical health. They were given as offerings to Buddha in China and to Krishna in India. Ground to a powder, rubies were once thought to be a cure for indigestion. High quality rubies are rarer and more valuable than diamonds. Largest, most expensive ruby ever: a 15.97-carat stone that sold for $3.6 million in 1988.

August Birthstone:
Peridot (mostly varying hues of yellow-green, but also yellow, brown, and orange)

Background:
Hawaiians believed peridot to be the divine tears wept by Pele, goddess of the volcano. The Romans believed it would protect them from death in battle, but only when “pierced” (made into a bead) and “strung on the hair of an ass,” then worn on the right arm. South American shamans still use it to ward off snakebites and mosquitoes. Wear it to clear your mind of envy.

The largest prime number known (so far) is 7,235,733 digits long.

September Birthstone:
Sapphire (most commonly blue, but also found in yellow, clear, orange, pink, green, and purple)

Background:
In Biblical times, sapphires were believed to transmit innocence and good health, and to protect against evil spirits. Later they were believed to heal mental illness. Ivan the Terrible wore them to give him strength and courage. New Age advice: Wear a sapphire to enhance spiritual enlightenment and inner peace, or to aid in telepathy, clairvoyance, and astral projection. The choicest sapphires are the rich blue ones that come from Kashmir.

October Birthstone:
Opal (generally either opaque or translucent white, they show almost every color in a variety of combinations)

Background:
In medieval times, blonde maidens wore opals to guarantee their hair would neither darken nor fade. The stones were also thought to grant wearers the power of invisibility, giving it the nickname
Patronus furum
(“patron of thieves”). Arabs believed the opal got its fiery color because it fell from the heavens in a lightning flash.

November Birthstone:
Topaz (clear, yellow, orange, red, peach, blue, gold, and green, ranging from transparent to translucent)

Background:
The topaz was named after the island in the Red Sea where the gem was first discovered,
Topazios
(meaning “to guess”—the island was hard to find because it was almost always covered in fog). During the Middle Ages, the stone was thought to heal mental and physical disorders and even to prevent death. Ancient Greeks believed that the topaz improved eyesight. It’s rare to find a “precious topaz” (gold with pink hues) over three carats. If you do, it’s worth about $500 per carat.

December Birthstone:
Turquoise (blue to green and most combinations in between)

Background:
In 13th-century Persia, turquoise was believed to protect riders from falling off their horses, so it was often set into bridles. American Indians—particularly Navajos and Apaches—believe turquoise to be sacred and use it in their jewelry, artwork, and ceremonies. The Aztecs reserved it strictly for the gods—no mortal was allowed to wear it. Turquoise attracts success, promotes healing, and relaxes the mind. Arizona turquoise generally has the highest value; “robin’s egg blue” is the rarest.

How many hairs does the average human scalp contain? Between 120,000 and 150,000.

ANSWER PAGES

BASKETBALL 101

Answers for
page 102

1.
b,
2.
d,
3.
b,
4.
d,
5.
c,
6.
a straight line,
7.
d,
8.
d
9.
c,
10.
a curved line

The test was so easy that nobody had to cheat, right?
Wrong
. Coach Harrick let three athletes skip all the classes (and the final exam) and then gave them A’s anyway. Game over? No—the NCAA got wind of Harrick’s exam in 2004 and launched an investigation. Outcome: Pending.

KNOW YOUR GLOBE

Answers for
page 136

1.
a)
Louisiana. It has 64 parishes. (
Parish
comes from the administrative subdivisions of the Catholic Church.)

2.
c)
La Paz, Bolivia, at 12,000 feet above sea level.

3.
b)
Belgium. The Walloons, from southern Belgium (originally called Walloonia), are descendents of the Celts. The Flemings, from northern Belgium (originally called Flanders), are descendants of German Franks. Only 10% of the population is bilingual.

4.
a)
The Nile, which is more than 4,100 miles long.

5.
d)
Death Valley. It lies 282 feet below sea level.

6.
b)
Uluru
, which means “Great Pebble,” was formed more than 600 million years ago.

7.
a)
Steppes, most common in Russia, Asia, and central Europe, are generally areas that were once lush and forested but became barren from cultivation and overgrazing.

8.
a)
Mesa. An arroyo is a deep gully; an atoll is a coral island and reef; and a piedmont is the area of land at the base of a mountain.

9.
d)
Underwater earthquakes. A
tsunami
is a series of waves generated by oceanic disturbances—earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, landslides, or impact from cosmic bodies such as meteorites.

World record? One cat is documented as having given birth to 420 kittens in her lifetime.

10.
d)
Mandarin. More than one billion people speak it (500 million speak English; 450 million speak Hindi).

11.
a)
Greenland. It’s about 840,000 square miles—a third the size of Australia. (Australia is a continent, which means it’s technically too large to be considered an island.) Greenland is a territory of Denmark.

12.
a)
Botswana comprises 225,953 square miles and has a population of close to 1.5 million. It is one of 15 landlocked countries in Africa. The world’s largest landlocked country is the Asian nation of Kazakhstan.

13.
d)
Igneous. Metamorphic rocks have undergone some type of change due to heat and pressure; sedimentary rocks are formed by the accumulation and squeezing together of layers of sediment (particles of rock or remains of plant and animal life). The term stratus has nothing to do with rocks—it’s a low cloud formation with gray horizontal layers.

14.
d)
180 degrees—it’s an imaginary north-south line in the Pacific Ocean, the place where the date is one day earlier east of the line than west of the line. 0 degrees is the Prime Meridian, located in Greenwich, England, the place where longitude lines begin. (There is nothing significant about 45 and 90 degrees.)

15.
a)
Wyoming. It has a population of 450,000 (California’s population is 30 million).

16.
c)
Sapporo. It’s the name of a city in Hokkaido, the northern-most island (and the name of a Japanese beer). Kyushu is the fourth and southernmost island of Japan.

17.
b)
Seasons. The sun’s rays hit the northern and southern hemispheres unequally—when direct rays hit one hemisphere (making it summer), diffused rays hit the other (making it winter). Fall and spring occur as the rays change hemispheres.

18.
a)
Pretoria. South Africa isn’t the only country with more than one capital. Bolivia has two capitals: Sucre and La Paz.

19.
a)
Nauru. This Pacific island nation gained its independence from UN Trusteeship status in 1968. It’s also the smallest independent nation in the world.

Humans consume about
3 billion
pounds of chocolate annually.

20.
c)
Esperanto. Despite being taught in universities around the world even into the 20th century, Esperanto has never been accepted as an international language.

OL’ JAY’S BRAINTEASERS

Answers for
page 166

GRANDMA CELIA,

1.
The cup was filled with dry, ground coffee.

2.
Sam’s father was 50 when he married. His bride was 25; her father was 45. When Sam was born a year later, his father was 51 and his grandfather on his
mother’s
side was 46.

3.
A goose.

4.
David (“D” is the Roman numeral for 500, “V” is the Roman numeral for 5, “a” is the first letter of the alphabet, and “I” is the first person.)

5.
Boxing.

6.
A relationship.

7.
A mirror.

8.
To cover cows.

9.
He’s a barber.

10.
An egg.

11.
A snake.

12.
They’re all abbreviations of U.S. states:

HI: Hawaii

MA: Massachusetts

PA: Pennsylvania

ME: Maine

ID: Idaho

IN: Indiana

OR: Oregon

13.
They’re the kings in a deck of cards.

14.
The moon.

CARD SHARK

Answers for
page 357

SPLIT PERSONALITY.
“Dave had 7 cards to start with,” Grandma Celia explained. “Half of 7 is 3-1/2, so when Dave gave the oldest brother ‘half the cards plus half a card,’ he gave him 3-1/2 cards plus half a card, or
4
cards.”


“He had 3 cards left, and gave half of these cards plus half a card (1-1/2 plus 1/2) or
2
cards to the middle brother.”

That’s surreal: Salvador Dali wore a homemade perfume of fish glue and cow dung.


“He had 1 card left, so when he gave the youngest brother half his remaining cards plus half a card (1/2 plus 1/2), he had 0 cards left.”

BY THE NUMBERS.
Grandma Celia always picks a 3. Whatever numbered card the other person picks (if they do the math right), the digits on their card, plus the 3 on her card, will form the answer—if they pick a 4, the answer will be 43; if they pick a nine, the answer will be 93, and so on.

TURNING 30.
Grandma Celia knew that as long as she picked up the 9th card, the 16th card, and the 23rd card, she was guaranteed to win. She kept a running total of how many cards were picked up, and adjusted her picks accordingly. It didn’t matter if she went first or second—when she went first, she only picked up 2 cards. That way no matter how many cards I picked up on my first turn, she could pick up as few or as many cards as she needed to pick up the 9th card. She did the same thing to get to the 16th, the 23rd, and the 30th cards. (Once I knew the secret, I was able to beat her once in a while.)

ELEVENSES.
As long as Grandma Celia picked cards between 2 and 9 (or even aces if you count them as 1s), and the first card and the third card add up to the value of the middle card, the 3-digit number they form will always be divisible by 11.

THE ZOMBIE QUIZ

Answers for
page 233

1.
d)
There really is a rum-soaked tropical drink called a zombie, but that’s got nothing to do with real zombies.

2.
c)
You can also get infected if a zombie rubs up against an open cut or wound.

3.
d)
Zombies live off the liquid in the flesh they eat.

4.
b)
We know that zombies have some rudimentary form of intelligence, because they can tell humans from zombies, and they tend to congregate in places they frequented when they were alive.

5.
c)
Zombies are still dead, after all, and they’re still decomposing, although at a much slower rate. Only a very young, very well-preserved corpse will last beyond five years.

Australia has 200,000,000 rabbits. They’re all descended from 12 original breeding pairs.

6.
b)
A zombie’s strength peaks early, then declines as it decomposes.

7.
b)
You must destroy the brain, or at the very least remove the brain from the rest of the body, so that even if the zombie is still “alive,” it can’t harm you.

8.
c)
Watch your step! Zombies have a mean bite.

9.
d)
A hand grenade sends shrapnel and ripped chunks of zombie meat flying in every direction, and anyone who gets hit by the zombie-soaked shrapnel will
become a zombie
. Using a hatchet puts you too close to the zombie for comfort, and if you use a flamethrower, the burning zombie will stumble around for a while before going down, creating a significant fire hazard. A rifle or shotgun lets you shoot the thing from a safe distance, with minimal risk of collateral damage.

10.
d)
But it wouldn’t be a bad idea to teach your dog the “get away from that zombie” trick...just in case.

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