Under the Moon's Shadow (31 page)

“Sounds good.”

They started toward the path to the barn and the pond beyond it, and walked in silence for a while, the only conversation being when one or the other pointed out an interesting sight. When they reached the pond, she led the way around to the small gazebo that sat on its banks. Easing down on one of the benches, she patted the seat beside her. Sampson sat down next to her with a sigh.

Beth was the first to speak. “So what do you want to talk to me about that you couldn’t say back at the house?”

He smiled. “Who says I wanted to talk about anything in particular?”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Poppy, I’ve always known when you had something you wanted to talk to me about, and you know it.” When she rested her head on his shoulder, Sampson put his arm around her. He gave her a gentle hug before letting his arm rest on the back of the bench.

“Ah, little girl, I’m worried about you. You aren’t happy.”

She drew her feet up onto the bench and wrapped her arms around her legs. Head resting on her knees, she turned her face toward him. She couldn’t pretend anymore. “No, I’m not. I don’t know what to do about it, either.”

“That’s what I wanted to discuss with you. I think I know what you need, and I don’t know that you’re going to like my solution. I know your mother won’t.” Sampson had gained Beth’s attention, and she turned fully to watch him.

“I’m listening. What’s your idea?”

“I think you need to leave Leroy.” His eyes were sad as he watched her shocked reaction. Reaching out, he tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear and lovingly patted her head. “I thought that would surprise you.”

Beth just shook her head, struggling to get her mind around the idea. “I - why?”

“Ever since you were a little thing, you’ve known what you wanted out of life. You made your mind up early on that you were going to be editor at the paper one day, and every decision you’ve made since then reflected that dream. If I hadn’t made your going away to college a contingency of your continuing to work at the paper, you never would have gone. I know you had other things you wanted to do, like travel and see some of the world, but when you put those desires up against working at the paper, the damned thing always won.

“You were the same way with Ethan. I knew when you were sixteen years old that you had your heart set on him, and you never changed that course, even when you dated other men.”

Beth was speechless. She wanted to deny the words, but everything he said was true. “Is that such a bad thing, that I’ve always known what I wanted?” she asked, a little hurt. “I thought you were happy having me work at the paper.”

“Sweetie, I love having you at the paper. I’ve been proud as hell to see you so passionate about it. That’s not the point here. The point is, in the last few months, you’ve had the rug jerked out from underneath you, and instead of picking yourself back up, you’re still sitting on the floor trying to figure out what happened to the rug.” He gave her a moment, then continued.

“I think you need to regain your perspective. Everything you thought your life was going to be, isn’t. I know you figured that by now you and Ethan would be married.” She shook her head, but he continued. “Don’t try to tell me differently. I know you, probably better than anyone. You’re too much like me for your own good. In any case, now that things have gone to hell with Ethan, it’s made you question every other decision you’ve made over the years.”

Standing, he moved to the door of the gazebo and leaned against the post. He turned to look at Beth. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

She slowly shook her head. “I guess I can’t do that, Poppy.”

“I know the only things that keep you going these days are the drives you go on. That started me thinking that maybe what you need isn’t here in Leroy, and your subconscious is trying to tell you that. Maybe what you need to heal is out there in the world somewhere.”

Beth considered his words. “I’m confused. You’ve always taught us that it isn’t possible to run away from yourself, but it sounds like that’s exactly what you’re telling me to do now. What makes you think I’d be any better off if I left?”

Sampson sat back down beside her. “I think you need distance to deal with these blows, honey. I think every time you drive into town, every place you go, every person you interact with, you’re just reminded of the hurt all over again, and you can’t heal a wound that you’re constantly ripping the scab off of. I don’t believe there’s any way you can possibly heal if you stay here. I don’t want you to leave town, but I think you need to. Does that make sense?”

“I suppose it does. What about my job, though? I can’t just walk off and expect Marshall to hold my position open.”

“Oh, I think something could be arranged. There are a couple of young punks on staff that would love to get some experience doing your job, and they probably won’t stick around too long.”

Beth reluctantly agreed. It was common for the paper to attract fresh new graduates who needed to gain experience, but they usually moved on before they’d been there a year, with bigger fish than a small-town paper in their sights.

“Even if Marshall did fill your position, you could come back in some other capacity. You might have to wait a little while to get back to lead reporter, but there’s no doubt you would if that’s what you wanted.”

“So what is it you’re suggesting?”

“I don’t know, exactly. Just get in the Beast and go wherever the mood strikes you. Drive, stop along the way, whatever your gut tells you to do. Don’t set a destination unless you want to, don’t set a time limit. Just go out there and see a little bit of the world. Go to places you’ve always wanted to see. Decide if you want to be here, or if you don’t.”

He stood up and held his hand out. “We’d better head back to the house before your mother sends out a search party.”

Taking his hand, she stood up with a groan, her muscles stiff from all the heavy lifting. When she saw Sampson’s concerned look, she hurried to reassure him. “I’m okay. My muscles are just a little sore. Assuming I decided to do this, when would I leave?”

“Thanksgiving’s next week, and I’d hope you would stay until after that, but it’s entirely up to you. You have the money from your grandmother’s trust that you’d have access to, right?”

Beth nodded. After his wife’s death, Sampson had set up healthy trust funds for each of his grandchildren, and Beth had hardly touched hers.

“One more thing,” he told her as they approached the house. “I haven’t mentioned this to your mother. I didn’t want to upset her. I’d prefer that you think about what we’ve discussed before you bring it up. If you end up staying here, there’s no need for Jackie to know we even talked about you leaving.”

Beth wholeheartedly agreed, knowing that her mother would be very upset if she decided to follow through with the idea. As they went through the gate to the patio surrounding the pool, she reached out and stopped Sampson with a gentle hand on his arm.

“Poppy? Thank you for understanding.” She threw her arms around him for a quick, tight hug. As she drew back, she gave him a tense smile. “I need some time alone before supper. Tell everyone I’ll be over later?”

He nodded, and she headed into the guest house. Her grandfather had given her a lot to consider over the next few days, and she knew the decision wouldn’t be without pain.

Chapter Forty Three

Beth did little else over the weekend but think about the idea Sampson had put forth to her. She went in Monday to talk to Marshall, not wanting to blindside him with her departure if that was the route she chose. After explaining the idea, she sat back and waited for the editor’s response. For a long moment he just stared at her, but then he stood up with a quiet groan and walked around to sit on the edge of his desk beside her chair.

“What do you want to do?”

She shrugged and moved her legs restlessly. “I want things to be normal again. I don’t think I’m going to just wake up tomorrow and have that happen, though. I guess I just want to get away from myself for a while, to tell the truth. It’d also be nice to go somewhere where I can walk around and not be recognized as that woman who got shot.”

“Sounds to me like you’ve pretty much made your mind up, then.”

Standing, she moved to the large half-glass wall that overlooked the newsroom. Marshall watched her without saying anything.

“What about my job? If I leave for a while, can I come back?” she asked quietly.

“Well, you know I can’t guarantee you would walk back into the same job you have now, but there will always be a place for you at this paper. You know that.”

Her expression was rueful. “No, I don’t. You should treat me just like anyone else who would be asking you these questions. The last thing I want to do is walk away and then come back later and have people think I can just waltz in and out at will. Aside from that, I don’t want to cause a staffing problem for you. If I leave now, will it hurt the paper?”

Marshall turned to face her. “First off, any reporter that I work with who has busted their butt the way you have, will always have a job with me. You know better than to think I let your relationship to the owner have any influence over decisions I make. Secondly, no, we’ll survive if you leave. I’d prefer to have you here with us, but not if you aren’t healthy and happy. You need to get yourself straightened out, and if that means you leave Leroy for a while, then we’ll deal with that. How do you feel about the idea of writing an article now and then, maybe a travel column or something of the like, just to keep your name in the paper?”

To her surprise, the suggestion had appeal. “I hadn’t thought about it, but I think I’d like that. I’d have the distance I need, but I’d also still be contributing, and my readers wouldn’t forget about me.”

Marshall laughed heartily at that statement, causing her to smile. “Hudson, I doubt that’s possible. You get more mail and reader feedback than the rest of us combined, with the possible exception of Andi.” Dear Andi was the paper’s advice column, which had been wildly popular since her introduction five years ago.

“When are you thinking about leaving?” he asked as Beth walked back over to the desk.

“Soon. Maybe as soon as this weekend. I’ll know more after I talk to a couple other people.”

Marshall nodded. “Come talk to me as soon as you know, okay?”

She promised him she would, then asked one more favor. “If you could keep this to yourself for a little while? I’ve not spoken with my family about it, other than Poppy, of course.”

“My lips are sealed,” the editor told her. “I wouldn’t want to be a fly on the wall for that conversation, though.”

Beth sighed as she opened the door and headed out into the hall. She looked back and grimaced at him. “I don’t particularly want to be there, either.”

Chapter Forty Four

Thanksgiving morning arrived with a brisk cold snap, a heavy frost coating the outdoor world with its glistening brush. Joely had driven up from Louisville the night before, and she, Beth, and Jackie had stayed up until the wee hours getting dishes ready for the big meal the next day. They had had a blast, the three of them giggling and gossiping about anything and everything. Several times Richard had poked his head into the kitchen just to see what all the hilarity was about, only to be shooed back out.

As Beth let herself into her parent’s kitchen on Thursday morning, she was surprised to see that Chase and Sampson were already there. Her brother saluted her with his coffee cup as he went to the pot for a refill.

“You guys are here early today. Dinner isn’t until two o’clock, and it’s barely nine.”

“Your mom called us early this morning, said to get dressed and come over,” Sampson told her, seeming a little perturbed. “She said something about wanting to get a jump start on getting the Christmas decorations up.”

Surprised, Beth looked to her brother for an explanation. All Chase could do was shrug. “Beats me. You look a little ragged. Didn’t you sleep well?”

Beth shook her head and went to the cabinet where the mugs were kept. She elbowed him out of the way and poured herself a cup of coffee, adding enough sugar to make Chase wince. “We were up until three thirty making food. I didn’t get in bed until nearly four o’clock, and Mom wanted me back over here by nine thirty or so. It isn’t that I didn’t sleep well, it’s that I didn’t sleep enough.” Moving to sit beside Sampson, she stirred the coffee, took a small sip, and grimaced at the taste. With a knowing smirk, Chase handed her the carton of cream. She poured some into the sweet brew and thanked him. “Where is everyone?”

“Joely’s taking a shower, and your parents are arguing in the attic. Jason doesn’t get off until noon, so he’s off the hook. Lucky him,” Sampson muttered into his mug.

She smiled at his words, but her amusement didn’t last long against her concern over her mother’s odd behavior. Family tradition had always been to decorate the tree in the evening after dinner, an event only dire emergencies would justify missing. “Why is she pushing the decorating?”

Sampson shook his head as they heard voices coming down the hall. “Ask her.” He pushed his cup across the island toward Chase. “Refill it please, son. I have the feeling I’m gonna need it.”

When Jackie and Richard entered the kitchen, the frustrated tension between them was palpable. Jackie’s face bore the look she got when her mind was set on something, and it was clear from the hunted look on Richard’s face that he had been trying to convince her to change her mind. She gently shooed Chase back around to the opposite side of the island and greeted Beth warmly, if somewhat distractedly.

Richard, still in pajamas, shot Sampson a speaking look and shook his head once, clearly aggravated. With a yawn, he ambled toward the booth at the end of the kitchen. He slid in and rested his head on his arms without a word to anyone. Chase followed his lead and sat down at the table, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It didn’t take long.