If you right your wrong, they’ll stop being so angry. They’ll feel generous. It will buy me more time to convince Ian…that I’m his only choice.
For the first time since stumbling upon this conversation, her voice trembled and bounced inside of my head.
And if I can’t convince him, I’ll make it look like an accident.
Make what look like an accident?
She trembled with fear. Or fury.
If he gets injured…and dies of natural causes, the Council won’t have a choice but to give me a second chance.
If you don’t mate with Ian, your chance is over. And if you kill him, then you’ve killed a Mer. You
know
what they do to us if we kill one of our own.
The flush on his skin washed away, leaving him white as a winter sky.
It’s worse than death, Isolde.
She brought her hands to her mouth and shook her head from side to side slowly.
Mere Monstrom.
What did
Mere Monstrom
mean? Holy mother of hell, why hadn’t I paid any attention in Latin last year? I’d only taken the stupid class to get a credit I was lacking by missing so much of my foreign language classes after the accident.
He’ll mate with me, or I’ll kill us both.
She started to back away from Saxon.
I won’t face
It
alone, and Ian will wish he’d died when I drowned him. If you’re unwilling to help, I’ll just have to handle it myself.
Tears sprung in my eyes. Isolde wanted to kill Ian.
Again
. This chick was relentless. How in the world were we going to protect Ian from dying now?
You want me to deny my own mate to get you out of trouble? Are you insane?
She keened.
You’ll die otherwise! Do you not understand that?
I shuddered at her words and rolled my chair a few feet backwards on the trail so that I was hidden in the bushes when she began striding back and forth again. Saxon wouldn’t die. There was no way.
We had to run.
He pointed toward the lake, the veins in his arms flexing like cords under his skin.
Go home, Isolde. Go home and care for your mate. The one you murdered a few weeks ago.
Her head jerked back when he used the word
murdered
. In the Mer world, it was a duty. Not homicide.
The Council will hear about this, Saxon.
She turned and sprinted toward the water.
I’ll watch you perish over this!
One of the tears lingering in my eyes dropped, making a tiny dark spot on the front of my black hoodie. This was infinitely more complex than the usual boyfriend-girlfriend melodrama.
Saxon watched as her body arched into the air, metamorphosing into a brilliant yellow-tailed fish right before cutting into the water. The only sound left in the air as her fin disappeared in the blackened lake was Saxon’s low, determined declaration.
Not if I get to them first.
Chapter Eighteen
I’m going to appeal to the Council.
Saxon’s voice woke me out of a fitful sleep. After leaving the window open in the hope he’d climb in at some point, I’d drifted off into a slumber filled with disturbing dreams about sinister monsters that made the Mer look as benign as preschoolers.
His arms around me radiated warmth, and I rolled over to face him. “You’re going to what?” When I focused my eyes on his face, I popped my head off of the pillow. Bruises darkened on his temple and cheek. “What happened to you?”
Shhh.
He pressed a finger to my lips and gestured to the ceiling. My father’s faint snore could be heard through the iron vent.
I dropped my voice to a hiss. “Who did this to you?”
He sucked in a deep breath and released it very slowly.
I’m sorry I didn’t meet you this afternoon.
Nodding, I brushed a damp lock of his hair back from one of the bruises. “You’ve…got a lot going on.”
I don’t know why I didn’t tell him I’d overheard his argument with Isolde. Part of me wanted to see if he trusted me enough to tell me what I already knew.
Isolde followed me to the path today. She was enraged and volatile.
I gulped. Loudly.
Ian is refusing her. Every time she comes near him, he lunges at her. He’s tried to choke her twice, and today he took four of us down trying to get away. He goes on and on about Moon’s Bay and finding his brother. He’s delirious. Our Healer doesn’t think he’ll survive another week without making the connection to Isolde. When I approached a member of the Council that I saw near Ian, he…let’s just say he didn’t appreciate my…
“What?” I demanded.
He swallowed thickly. “
The members of the Council don’t appreciate my disregard of Mer responsibilities and expectations. And he showed me by making sure I knew that I am physically wanting in comparison to him.
“He roughed you up to prove a point?” He paused for just a second too long, and my heart dropped down into my stomach. “What kind of people do you come from?
Luna…
“You know, whenever you start a sentence with my name, and then don’t finish it, it always means trouble.” I could see the green numbers on my alarm clock reflected in his wide eyes.
They know, Luna. They know.
I felt pinned to the bed. “The Council?”
I could feel his heart pounding through his shirt.
I followed Isolde home after we argued. I was trying to get to the Council before she did, but Ian had escaped again. Once we had him contained, I noticed the Mer around me were acting differently.
“Different how?” I remembered what it felt like to come back to school after my accident. Nobody would look me in the eye, and they answered my questions with one word. Occasionally just a grunt. It was infuriating.
Nobody will look at me for long. My parents won’t speak to me, and my friends aren’t coming near me. When I asked people what was wrong, not one person answered. So…I asked the Mer who shoved me around what was going on. But he already knew my choice. They all did, even my parents. Isolde told them. They’re treating me differently because they consider me a dead Mer. It’s…it’s just a matter of time before the Council will make an official judgment and then carry it out.
“Oh, Sax.” I pulled him close. It felt as if all of the air had been sucked out of the room. “I saw you. I heard you arguing. I’m so sorry.”
You heard? How?
He lifted his head off of the mattress.
Where were you?
“I’m sorry. I should have said so in the first place.” I spoke quickly. “I was on my way to meet you. I had a question for you. But I overheard…” My voice petered out, and I bit my lip.
So you know Isolde told the Council?
Suddenly the lump in my throat thickened. Sitting bolt upright on my bed, I gasped for air. “What are we going to do? What are we going to do? They’re going to kill you if you don’t alter a human! I’m terrified, I—”
He sat up next to me, putting his hands on both of my shoulders.
You have to calm down.
“How can I calm down?” My voice cracked. “They already consider you a dead man.”
I’m going to face them. I’m going to plead my case.
I willed my eyes to hold my tears in. I was not going to fall apart. If I fell apart, there was no telling when, or if, I would be able to put myself back together. “Will that even work? Do Mer appeal the Council often? I mean, is that something that’s done regularly?”
No. It’s never done.
“We have to run, Sax, we have to get out of here!”
He tilted his head at me, his eyebrows pulling down close to his eyes.
Run? You mean, run away?
“We’ll go. I used to drive before the accident. I can teach you how. We can take my dad’s old car. It’s just parked in the garage. He never drives it. It needs a spark plug, or something, and—”
I’m not stealing your father’s car.
“Then we’ll take the bus!” I drug my hands through my hair. “I’m eighteen. They can’t send the cops after me. We’ll go somewhere else near water. We’ll—”
Your parents would be devastated. I could never—
“Why are you so concerned about my parents?” I snapped. “My father treats you like a convict, and my mother tries too hard. It’s not like you’re BFFs with them. What the hell? The Council is going to kill you!”
It’s not that. I don’t want your parents ever to feel as if I’ve stolen you away.
“I’d be going of my own free will.” I tried to rid my throat of the softball. “And I’d tell them so. As soon as we got to wherever we were going…I would call them and tell them I made my own choice to leave.”
Your sister needs you…and your brother. Besides, what if we were too far from water when the symptoms started and I shifted on the bus? Hundreds of people would know about my kind in an instant. And then the Mer
and
the humans would all be in danger.”
“I won’t lose you. I won’t.” I put both hands on his face and pulled him to my lips with raw desperation. “Take me. Take me. Alter me.”
His head jerked apart from mine.
What? No. Not a chance.
“You keep saying you love me too much to hurt me. But you’re forgetting I love you too much just to let you die.”
I will not drown you. I will not alter you. Get the idea out of your head.
Infuriated tears pricked at the back of my eyes. Isolde’s nasty words rolled to the forefront of my mind, making my cheeks heat with anger. It wasn’t as though I wanted to die, but we were running out of options. When I’d met Saxon a month ago, I never expected to be caught up in some sort of Romeo and Juliet melodrama. “Is it because my legs don’t work?”
Your legs?
I wiped my nose on the end of my shirtsleeve. Not the sexiest thing I’d ever done. “I told you. I was there. I heard what Isolde had to say about me. Are you afraid that I’ll be a waste?”
A waste? Don’t be absurd.
I opened my mouth to retaliate, but choked on a sob instead. “Isolde said that since I can’t use my legs here on the surface, I’ll probably be useless down below too. You can be honest. I can take it. Is that why you won’t consider altering me?”
Of course not. Listen to yourself. You’re volunteering to die!
“I’ll live…” I said weakly. “Eventually. And maybe, with time, I’d be able to see my family again.”
His jaw twitched.
It’s not an option. The only way I would ever even consider that is if you were dying anyway. And even then, it would be a last resort. Just…let me appeal to the Council. I’ll offer them my proposal, and they’ll have no choice but to take it. Our numbers are dwindling, and the waters are growing more toxic every day. If we had a Mer working with the humans to make things better, it would be beneficial to our whole clan. Surely they’ll understand that.
“You don’t sound very confident.”
I’m plenty confident. I need you to stop worrying. I’ll take care of this.
“The Council is ruthless. You said it yourself.”
Yes.
He thinned his lips into a line.
They are.
“Then why are you doing it?” I was starting to feel hysterical. I could feel the side of my neck moving in time with my pulse.
His haunted eyes pierced mine.
Because progress has to start somewhere. My kind has struggled with humans for centuries. They resent humans, but we’re dependent on them for our survival. I’ve learned how humans live, work, learn, love…
He cupped my face, and my trembling stopped.
Maybe it’s time for some better understanding. Maybe it’s time to bridge the gap between the Mer and humans.
“You’re not thinking about telling more people your kind exists, are you?” I could trust Evey and Hayden, but I wasn’t sure how keen the rest of Sandpoint was going to be on keeping the existence of Mer hush-hush. There were
a lot
of hunters and fishermen in northern Idaho, most of whom enjoyed mounting their kill above their flat screens.
No, but maybe if my clan has an insider coexisting with humans, they’ll feel less resentful and threatened.
He stroked his finger across my lower lip.
I allowed him to lay me back down, then pull my body against his to warm me. “I’m freaked, Sax. Like, really,
really
bad.”
He sucked in a pull of air, then released it slowly. Though he’d never admit it, he was scared, too.
Everything’s going to be OK.
We lay there in the darkness for a long time. Not saying a word, not kissing, just
being
. I had dozens of other questions to ask Saxon. Where did the Council meet? Was it like court or something? If they rejected his offer, how would they do it? Would they leave him where the clan could see his body as a warning to the others?
And what the hell was a Mare Monstrom?
But it wasn’t the time for any more deep conversations. There was entirely too much “heavy” happening, and I felt strangled by the gravity of it all. I simply wanted to lay there in his arms, feeling his chin against the top of my head as we breathed in unison. I wanted it to be like this forever.
I thought he had drifted off to sleep until his sleep-filled voice sounded inside my head.
What did you want to ask me?
When I opened my eyes, I was met with Saxon’s cerulean gaze. “When?”
He smiled for the first time since arriving.
You said you were looking for me today so you could ask me something.
“Oh.” My petty, trivial high school issues from this afternoon flooded back to me. “It…it isn’t important. Never mind.”
Hey, come on.
He tugged one side of his mouth upward.
We can’t just sit around discussing my problems. We should talk about what’s on your mind too.
Rolling my eyes, I propped myself up on one elbow. “Dude. Your problems are infinitely more pertinent. This I can guarantee.”
Clasping his hands behind his head, he raised his eyebrows at me.
Try me.
I sighed, letting the air in my lungs drag out. “I, uh, well…”
What has gotten into you?
I opened my mouth, stuttered, then closed it. After clearing my throat, I tried it again. “So…do you want to go to prom with me?”