Undying (12 page)

“Catherine,” he choked out my name.

“Yes,” I replied seductively.

“You look… Please don’t do this to me!”

“Do what?” I said naively as I turned on the side lamp and turned off the main lights.

“Catherine…” he said again, with a smirk on his face and laughter in his voice.

“What are you reading tonight?” I asked.

“You…” He didn’t finish his sentence. He just looked at me, shaking his head slowly from side to side. I got into bed and sat close beside him.

“James, nothing has happened in a long while now. Can’t we just put it all behind us? I don’t want you to resist me anymore.” I pulled my hair to the side, kissed him on his cheek and whispered into his ear that I needed him to love me. Slowly I placed my hands on his shoulders and chest and kissed him. James then placed his hands on my back, pulled my body close to his and took total control. I felt intoxicated as he started kissing my neck. He then pulled away.

“Catherine, we should stop.”

“No!”

“Catherine!”

“Why?”

“We need to stop, this is far from over. You’re killing me,” he said, as he looked me up and down, got off the bed and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?

“For a walk… I’m sorry.”

I sat on the bed, feeling annoyed and a bit guilty.
I know he wants me as much as I want him, I just thought I would try my luck
.

Shortly after James left, there was a knock at the door. I got out of bed and ran to the door, convinced that James had come to his senses.

“Oh, it’s you.” There was disappointment in my voice.

Mr Kemp stood there in his flannelette pyjamas, brown, of course. He looked irritated. He was cleaning his glasses and hadn’t yet acknowledged that I had answered the door. He walked straight into James’s room, ranting and raving, something about Mr Barclay needing to go for a walk at this hour. When he finally put his glasses on, he looked at me and paused for a while.

“Ah… I see. Are you trying to kill him?” Mr Kemp said, laughing as he sat on the desk chair, fiddling through James’s books. I put on the robe and sat on the end of the bed.

“Cathy, have anymore strange occurrences happened since… that day in Mr Barclay’s office?”

Here we go
.

“No, not really.” I replied frustrated.

“You don’t seem very sure about your answer!”

“It’s… little things.”

“Can you tell me what they are?” he asked, with a soft voice. He turned his chair around to face me, obviously pleased that I had covered myself a bit more.

“Well… I feel like I am having
déjà vu
episodes nearly every day… It could be something as small as brushing my hair, or even whole sentences that I say to James.”

“Anyone else? I mean other than Mr Barclay? Do you have these
déjà vu
feelings with anyone else?”

“No, just James. Maybe because we have been spending more time with each other and, to be honest, when we aren’t together I can’t stop thinking about him.”

“And do you have any thoughts about this?”

“No, not sensible ones.”

“You know, we really haven’t spoken about that day in Mr Barclay’s office, but I cannot understand how you did not notice the difference between James and… well, you know.”

“Our ghost Mr Kemp? I think about that every day and it makes me feel ill in my stomach. But, to be honest, there wasn’t much distinction for me to even consider that it wasn’t James in the room with me. Honestly.” I paused and sighed. “What do you think, Mr Kemp?”

“Oh, it does not matter what I think.”

“But it does. I know you and James know a lot more than you’re letting on, and it irritates me! You’re expecting me to figure it out all on my own and there is a chance I may never figure it out. What then?”

“In a year’s time, you will be back in Australia and all this will be a distant memory.”

Distant memory!

I was about to abuse Mr Kemp for even mentioning my return to Australia and leaving James, when I heard footsteps at the door. James opened the door and Mr Kemp immediately stood up, said goodnight and left. James was still in the doorway when Mr Kemp passed him. They exchanged glances and James came into the room, locking the door behind him. He placed his keys on the desk and walked without delay towards me.

“Hello…” he said with a smirk on his face.

“Hi… Did you enjoy your walk?” I replied, a matching smirk on my face.

“Yes, thank you. I want to apologise. I shouldn’t have encouraged you. I need you to understand. There is one other thing that I want more than having you completely: your safety! Now, unless you want to spend your nights with Mr Kemp, I suggest you take off what you’re wearing and put on something that covers you right up. Oh, and when I mean take it off, you can do that in the bathroom.” He grabbed my shoulders, turned me around and marched me off, like a child, to the bathroom. I could see that there was no choice but to follow his orders. The thought of spending my nights with that mad scientist filled me with dread.

I put on my usual attire: long pants with a t-shirt and came out of the bathroom. James was in bed again, reading. I got straight under the covers and lay on my pillow.

“Good night then,” I said, irritated.

“Good night, my love,” James replied.

There they are again… those same words
.

I felt like James had said those words to me a thousand times before. I found it hard to sleep. What Mr Kemp had said to me kept playing, over and over, in my mind?

If I don’t figure this out, it doesn’t matter because I will be gone by the end of the year? Is that what James also feels? It can’t be. I have to figure it out, even if I have to tempt fate. I need to know
.

C
HAPTER
S
EVEN

The next morning, James had to wake me for my run with Jules. I hadn’t slept well, disturbed by the thought of being sent back to Australia and being separated from James.

That will never happen
!
I just won
’
t allow it
!

I rushed to get dressed. I didn’t want Jules knocking on my door looking for me.

“Enjoy your run.”

“Will do.”

James opened the door, poked his head out and then gave me the ‘all clear’ to leave. I headed for the stairs. I didn’t even get halfway down when I spotted Jules heading up the stairs.

“Good morning, sleepy head. I knocked on your door but you didn’t answer, so I assumed you were already down there waiting for me.”

“Sorry Jules, I didn’t hear you. I must have been in the shower. Why aren’t you dressed for our run?” I enquiry.

“Oh dear Catherine, I feel like I am coming down with something and it looks like it might rain. I really don’t think it’s a good idea for me to run this morning.”

“Oh, that’s fine. Get some rest and I hope you feel better soon.”

“I will walk down with you to the front lawn,” she said as she turned back around and headed down.

“Oh Jules, I think I will also give it a miss.”

“Oh, no… I will be so upset if you don’t go on account of me. You know the track and if it does rain, head for the old miner’s cottage to wait it out.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I nodded and smiled as I headed back down the stairs.

“OK, but you go back to your room, don’t come out again.”

“Alright. Have a great run.”

I started out on a slow jog, still hesitant about whether I should actually go. I hadn’t been on my own like this for months, but I had to go. Jules had insisted. I just wondered what James and Mr Kemp would do when they found out. It was colder than usual and the grounds were wet and muddy from last night’s heavy rain. The weather was gloomy and the air misty, which suited my mood. I wished I hadn’t worn my three-quarter tights and new joggers. The muck on the ground was now on my lower legs and all over my white shoes. I couldn’t pick up my pace for fear of slipping and the jog seemed to drag on forever. I was bored, cold and annoyed. I started to think about Mr Kemp and how happy he would be if I did go back to Australia. He could have his room back and would not have to babysit me again.

But how would James feel
?
I would be crushed
.
I can’t imagine me living happily back home anymore. I have to stay
.

As I contemplated all the possible scenarios, the rain started pelting down. I pulled my hood over my head. I was so angry with myself now, for going on this run, especially without Jules. I tried to decide the best course of action.

Should I turn back now and have a 40-minute run back in the pouring rain or should I take the cottage trail, about 15 minutes away?

I stopped and took a second to decide. Unexpectedly, I became conscious of soft voices behind me. I turned around quickly, but I could see no one there. My heart started racing, blood rushed to my head, I felt panicked and at that moment decided I wasn’t going back.

I will go to the cottage and wait it out
.

I continued with a fast walk. I was now at a cross road and I took the left track. I hadn’t gone this way since that first time with Jules. Forgetting how rugged the track was, I became increasingly fearful of losing my footing. I slowed down my pace, not wanting to deal with any injuries. The rain started pounding even faster, if that was at all possible. While still jogging I looked back over my shoulder out of paranoia.

Huh? I could have sworn I saw a silhouette of someone…

It stopped me in my tracks.

“Who’s there?” I shouted as I started walking backward, frightened that something was about to creep up on me. I felt sick in the stomach. The echo of the wind and the pounding of the rain was deafening, but not enough to drown out the sound of my heart racing. I decided to turn and run as fast as I could, praying that I wouldn’t fall. The faster I ran, the more terrified I became. I could now hear branches snapping and loud thumping against the ground behind me. The vibrations shook my body. I wanted to scream, but nothing would come out. I could see the cottage up ahead, but it didn’t matter. Exhausted and overcome, I felt my body wanting to stop. With no control or force in my legs, I stumbled to the ground, landing on rocks and other debris.

“Stop!” I screamed. The sting of pain was unbearable.

I closed my eyes and screamed in terror, no longer able to run away.

“Catherine, what in God’s name…?”

I looked up and it was Richard, running towards me from the cottage. My body started to shake as I tried to stand, but I couldn’t. Still afraid of what was behind me, and despite the pain in my hands and knees, I attempted to crawl. I struggled to keep my eyes open. Richard lunged to the ground and lifted me up. I could see his lips moving but I couldn’t hear him. The distressed look on his face pleased me. It gave me hope that he knew that there was danger nearby, and would be vigilant. Everything around me seemed in slow motion, no sounds could be heard anymore. The rain seemed to fall but couldn’t be felt on my skin. My ears felt blocked; the way they did when I dove into the pool as a child. I didn’t want to speak. I was too drained.

Moments later, I was lying down on the lounge in the cottage in front of the lit fireplace. I could feel the warmth. I looked to see Richard on his mobile. He appeared upset but I didn’t know why. I smiled at him, but he didn’t smile back. He slammed his mobile on the table and came towards me. Grabbing his forehead, he started talking again. I couldn’t understand why he was so angry. I decided to close my eyes. I figured I had earned the rest. But Richard didn’t let me. He shook me and yelled at me, which made my ears pop. The sound of the rain on the roof could now be clearly heard.

“Catherine, I need you to stay awake. I need to go and get help. There is no service on my phone,” he said.

I shook my head from side to side. “No… you can’t leave me here! No… please don’t leave me!” I pleaded.

“You’re hurt, Catherine.”

I couldn’t understand what he meant other than being tired. I felt no pain. I looked down at myself to see that my leg was cut open and there was blood all over me.

“Oh my God!”

I closed my eyes and turned my head away.

“Please, don’t be frightened… I will fix it for you. It’s nothing. I think there is a first-aid kit somewhere around here,” I heard him mumble to himself.

With my eyes still shut, I could hear the racket of cupboards and drawers being opened and slammed shut.

“Here we are,” Richard said as he returned. “Catherine, I apologise, this could hurt a little.”

I kept my eyes closed. I did not want to see my leg again. I screamed out in pain, the wound on my leg felt like it was burning.

“Stop, please stop!” I pleaded.

“No Catherine, keep your leg still. I have to stop the bleeding,” he snapped back at me.

I felt awful for what I had brought on myself. I loved James so much that I was willing to go head to head with something that was so terrifying and that I still didn’t understand.

I need to know what’s going on, but killing myself in the process isn’t going to bring James and I
closer together. Oh, I can just imagine what Mr Kemp is going to say when he hears about this
.
And James
.
When he realises I’m not back and sees Jules. Oh, I can’t bear to think what I’m going to put him through. I wish I could take back today and start all over again. I would have turned back up those stairs and jumped back into bed with him
.

“Right… Now that is the best I can do, considering,” Richard said, looking at his attempt at first-aid.

I opened my eyes guardedly and looked down at my wound, which was now bandaged and didn’t burn anymore.

I looked up at Richard, who for the first time seemed to be a gentle, caring person, not his usual arrogant self.

“Thank you… I…” I couldn’t speak, I just cried. I covered my face out of embarrassment and felt his hand gently hold my arm. I quickly stopped and wiped my eyes. I had to leave before James realised I went on my own.

”I have to go.”

“Go? You can’t go anywhere in this weather. When the rain stops we can walk to my car, it’s at the village a few minutes from here.

“It’s strange, I am not even sure why I came to the cottage today. I think it was fate that I was here for you,” Richard replied with a smile.

I didn’t reply, just smiled politely.

“I’m guessing you were going for a run and came here because of the rain, but I don’t understand why you looked so terrified. What happened?” he asked gently as he grabbed a chair and sat in front of me.

“It’s silly… I thought I heard someone chasing me,” I replied hesitantly.

“Chasing you?” he repeated, disturbed.

“I ran as fast as I could. I guess I worked myself up and fell, and I suppose that’s when I cut myself.”

“Did you see anyone?”

I then thought of the dark silhouette, the hard stomping on the ground and the trees breaking behind me. I got shivers down my spine.

“No… No I didn’t, I know, I’m so stupid. Look what I have done to myself and not to mention dragging you into this. I really am so sorry.”

“Not at all. Now, I need to get you out of these wet clothes.”

“I guess you’re right.”

As Richard left the room, I shook my head at the mess I had gotten myself into.

How will I ever be able to face Mr Kemp and James after this?

Anxious to get back to the college, I attempted to get off the lounge. My assessment of the damage indicated the pain to be bearable. I limped towards the window. The rain had stopped. I was pleased about that.

“Be careful! I wouldn’t be moving around so much just yet, Catherine,” Richard said as he entered the room, holding up an old over-sized navy jacket.

“Is that for me?”

“Unfortunately, yes. But I have every confidence that you will manage to look beautiful in it.”

Embarrassed, I limped to him and took the jacket.

“Thank you, I won’t be a second,” I stated, and headed to the bedroom. Once inside, I was faced with the problem of changing. My tights were a nuisance to take off. Being wet, they were stuck to my body, and being unable to freely move my leg around made a simple task irritating and time-consuming. The jacket was unbelievably ugly, but it was warm and dry. I picked my wet clothes up from the floor, thinking I might be able to dry them in front of the fireplace. To my shock, James was standing in the middle of the room. Richard was beside the table. I tried to contain myself and act the way I would if I wasn’t incredibly in love with this man.

“See? She’s fine!” Richard said.

James didn’t acknowledge him. He just stared at me as if he was seeing a ghost. My heart broke. All I wanted was to be in his arms, but I couldn’t. Richard was already getting suspicious of James’s behavior.

“Are you alright?” James asked me in a low voice.

I wished he hadn’t asked me anything. It was killing me just seeing him like this. I had brought nothing but pain to this man, and this made me feel that I would somehow be the death of him.

“I am so sorry for worrying you. I’m fine, honestly. Just clumsy.” I started limping back to the lounge to sit down. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see anger across James’s face as he watched me limp. I sat down on the end of the lounge closer to him. There was an awkward silence for a while.

“James, you can go back if you like. Catherine is fine. I am in no hurry, I can stay with her until the rain stops and walk her to my car, which isn’t far, and drive her back to the college.”

James stood tall and looked directly at Richard. “I am not going anywhere. You will find that my car is next to yours and Dr Simons is in it, so if
you
need to leave, feel free.”

“A car and a doctor. I guess you win!” Richard said as he looked out the window. “Oh well, it looks like you also seem to control the weather. The rain’s stopped! Well, if I am not needed anymore, then I guess I will be off. Catherine, I hope you have a speedy recovery and please feel free to use this cottage whenever you need to,” Richard said as he made his way toward me. He crouched down in front of me.

“Be careful! I would hate for something to happen to you if I wasn’t there to help you.”

“Thank you,” I said hesitantly.

I knew Richard was trying to get under James’s skin. I couldn’t see James’s reaction, because he was purposely turned away.

“James, always a pleasure,” Richard taunted, before promptly leaving.

Neither one of us spoke for a while.

“Are you in pain?” James’s angelic voice finally broke the silence.

“No… No… I am fine,” I answered, quickly.

“Richard said that you thought someone was chasing you… is that true?”

“Um… yes James, I can’t go back to Australia – I won’t!”

“I don’t understand.”

“Mr Kemp said that if I don’t figure out what’s happening on my own, it wouldn’t matter because I have to leave at the end of the year anyway,” I confessed.