Authors: Joanne Schwehm
We spent the next weeks together. When Alex
wasn’t at the club, he was with me. I would go to his place, or he would come
to mine.
Amoureux
was a hit. It was all the rage and brought more people
to the club, which was both good and bad because many patrons had to wait. They
weren’t always happy about that.
Alex came over after a busy Friday night at the
club. He was exhausted and I was tired too. I needed to get up early and help
Mark move into his new apartment. The alarm buzzed at six. I quietly rolled out
of bed and took a shower. I was going to be gone most of the day, and by the
time I got back, Alex would be at the club. I didn’t want to wake him, so I
left him a note.
Good morning,
I am heading out to help Mark move.
I hope you slept well. You looked so peaceful sleeping I didn’t want to wake
you. I know that you will have another long night tonight.
J
Call me when you get up.
I love you,
Aubrey XOXO
I left the note on the bedside table and tossed
the pen in the drawer. I left and went to help Mark.
Mark’s new place was nice. He had taken a few
days off and painted it. A cleaning person had come in and cleaned it. That was
my gift to him, considering I didn’t want to be the one doing it; it was
totally worth it. We unpacked boxes as they came in, organizing everything. Thankfully
he was a guy, so there wasn’t too much in terms of knick knacks and general
hoarding-type items. Valerie walked in with Chinese food for dinner. We were so
busy that I didn’t realize I hadn’t eaten lunch. I’d been glad Mark had a
coffee and croissant waiting for me when I got here this morning. What time was
it? I grabbed my phone and noticed it was shortly after six. I noticed I didn’t
have any calls from Alex.
He must be busy. I’ll call him on my way home.
I finished eating with Mark and Valerie and decided it was time to head home. Every
bone in my body ached, and I couldn’t wait to take a shower. I hugged Mark and
Valerie good-bye and dragged my ass home.
I tried calling Alex, but it went straight to voice mail. I
thought maybe his battery had died. I was sure he’d call me when he could. When
I got home, I went straight to my bathroom, and peeled off my clothes, which
felt as if they were painted on me. I felt gross. I let the hot water run over
me. I thought about the last few months of my life and how it had changed. I
had a burst of energy and decided that I would get dressed and head over to the
club. I got out of the shower, toweled off, and threw a robe on. I dried my
hair and went
to get dressed. I walked in my room and felt my
heart drop to the floor. Lying on my bed was my journal opened to the first
page. There was a note resting on it.
I needed a pen to write my loving
girlfriend back, and to my surprise, look what I found. I hope you have enough
material to write your book. A friend mentioned that she overheard you and
Julie talking about using me for a book, but I thought she was jealous and
trying to cause trouble. I guess she was telling the truth. At least someone
was.
Good-bye, Aubrey.
Alex
My eyes immediately filled with tears.
He has
to know this was a long time ago
. I looked at the page he read. It was
about using the player.
Didn’t he continue reading? And who was this “friend”
who overheard Julie and me?
It had to be Leah or one of her friends. Maybe it
was that first night at the club when we were in the ladies’ room? I had no
idea. My head spun.
Is this why I haven’t heard from him?
I had to go to
him and explain.
I threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and my
flats. I ran out of my apartment and took a cab to the club. I sent a quick
text to Julie, telling her what happened. When I got there, a line had already
formed outside. There was some pushing and shoving going on, and while the
bouncers were handling that, I snuck in without waiting.
Who knows if Alex
told them not to let me in?
The club was jumping, people were dancing, and
the beat of the music mirrored that of my heart, strong and fast. I made a beeline
toward the bar. I wasn’t sure where Alex was going to be, so I thought I would
ask Tyler since he was normally bartending.
My heart stopped. Alex was at the bar with empty
shot glasses in front of him. Was he drunk? He never drank to excess because of
his mom. I walked toward him, wanting to explain everything. There were people
everywhere. I made it through the crowd and stood about four feet away from
him. He looked at me just as Leah was walking by trailing her fingers across
his shoulders. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into him and kissed her; no,
he devoured her. My chest tightened, my heart raced, and I couldn’t breathe or
move. I stood there and stared. I stared at this train wreck that was my life. Alex
broke the kiss and looked at me. “How’s that for a player? Go write about that
in your book because WE ARE DONE!”
I turned an
d ran out of the club. I think
I passed Julie on the way. I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t think; I needed air; I
needed to get out. I was trying to break through the crowd to get outside. I
wanted to go home, I wanted to cry, and I wanted Alex. The hysterics came in
full force. I pushed my way out the door and into mayhem. There was a fight or
something going on, and I was shoved so hard that I fell and smacked my head on
the sidewalk, or was I in the street? I heard voices, was that Brett’s voice? All
I heard was, “Oh my God, it’s Aubrey! So
meone call 911!”
I tried to open my eyes; I couldn’t. All I heard were voices. I
heard Julie. “Aubrey, wake up. Open your eyes for me.” Her voice was gentle,
and then it changed. “You asshole, you should have read the entire journal. You
should have talked to
her. She loves you! Look what you did to
her!”
Then there was his voice. “Aubrey, open your eyes,
honey.” I couldn’t. I tried, but I couldn’t. I wished I could because all I
could see were Alex and Leah. Sirens. I heard sirens. I saw . . . blackness.
~*~
When I woke up, I heard beeping. My
head hurt and my arms hurt. I tried to move, but it hurt. I heard muffled
voices. Where was I? I tried to think about what happened and where I was. “Aubrey,
honey, can you hear me? It’s Mom. Your dad and I are here. Can you hear me?” It
felt as if I was blinking, but I couldn’t see anything. I nodded.
Man, my
head is killing me.
I tried to raise my hand up. My arm hurt, but I managed
to touch my head and felt gauze.
“Water. I need some water.” My throat was killing
me. I felt a straw against my lips and took a sip.
“Aubrey, I am so glad you are awake. We’ve been
so scared.”
“Julie?”
“Yes, I’m here, Aubrey.”
A voice I didn’t know spoke. “I see the patient
is awake. I’m Dr. Griffin. How are you feeling, Aubrey?” I felt my eyelids
being held by his thumbs, so I knew my eyes were open, but I couldn’t see.
“My head hurts. I can’t see anything. Why can’t I
see anything?! Oh my God! Am I blind? I’m blind! Everything is black! I’m going
to be blind?” I burst into hysterics. “I’m going to be sick; I’m going to throw
up! Mom? Julie? Is anyone here?” Pure panic set in. I was screaming their names.
Were they here?
I heard an unfamiliar voice telling me she was
going to sit me up. I felt hands on my arms, and I felt the back of the bed
moving to a sitting position. “I’m Nurse Michelle, and I’m holding a basin in
front of you. If you need to be sick, I’ll help you.”
“Get everyone out of here. I don’t want anyone
else in here. Nurse, I’m going to be . . .” I vomited and prayed I expelled in
some type of container and not all over myself. I dry heaved. I felt a wet
cloth across my forehead and then across my mouth. “I’m so sorry.” I couldn’t
stop crying. “Nurse Michelle, are you still here?”
“Yes, I’m right here. I know this is frightening,
but I need you to try to calm down. Your blood pressure is accelerating.” I
heard the beeping of the machine becoming more rapid. I took deep breaths and
heard footsteps. “Aubrey, Dr. Griffin is here now; he’s been taking care of you.”
An odd and older voice spoke to me. “Aubrey, I
know you’re scared and confused. I don’t know what you remember from the night
of your accident, but you’ve been in a coma, which is normal for a head trauma.
Your CAT scan shows that you have what is called
commotio retinae
. Your
loss of vision could be temporary or unfortunately permanent. Only time will
tell with this type of injury. Do you see any flashes of light or shadows?”
“No, nothing, I don’t see a thing!”
What do I
remember? What do I remember?
Closing my eyes and trying to think back, I
remembered running . . . the club . . . Alex . . . Leah . . . kissing? He
kissed Leah and his hands were on her. I remembered her smiling. Everything was
so fuzzy. I felt as if I were seeing a dream, not my actual life.
Dr. Griffin let go of my wrist; he must have been
feeling my pulse. “Would you like anything before I leave? Some water maybe? You
may not think so right now, but you’re a lucky girl.”
Yeah, I’m lucky all right. “Yes, please, I’d like
some water. I have a friend here; her name is Julie. Can you please ask her to
come in?”
“I’ll get her for you. Your parents and boyfriend
are here too.”
My boyfriend . . . not anymore he isn’t. My heart
broke at that thought, but as far as I was concerned, Alex Logan was not my
boyfriend. He wasn’t even a friend. He was probably here out of guilt, or maybe
he thought I would sue him since it happened in front of his precious club. “Thank
you, just send Julie in please.” I knew my parents would be upset, but I needed
to speak to Julie first.
I heard the door open and close and then open. Was
this going to be my life? Just sounds? How would I work? I needed my eyes to
work. I couldn’t stop the tears. Somehow I was hoping my tears would wash away
all the bad that had happened to me.
“Hey, girlfriend.” She sounded so sad.
“Julie, what am I going to do?” My crying returned
in full force and my body shook; my chest ached. I could feel her arms around
me. I hugged her and realized I had an IV in my arm because it tugged a little.
Julie released me, and I rested back on my bed pillow.
“I am so sorry this happened to you.” I could
hear her crying and sniffling.
“Julie, please tell me what happened. I need to
know everything.” I made sure to stress the word “everything.”
“I really don’t think now is a good time.”
“Yes, it’s the only time. I need to know.”
“Tell me what you remember, and I’ll do my best
to fill in the blanks.”
I brought my fingers to my temple and felt a
bandage. “I remember being in the club. Alex . . . Oh my God, Alex was making
out with Leah! Why? Why was he with her? He had his hands on her! Why?” I
realized it wasn’t a dream; it had actually happened!
“He found your journal and only read the
beginning part where you said you wanted to find and use a man for romance. He didn’t
read any of your entries. Apparently, Leah and friends told him that you were
using him the first night you met; they heard us talking in the bathroom. He
told me he didn’t believe them, but then he read your journal. He was drunk and
grabbed Leah to hurt you like you hurt him.” That’s what he told me anyway.
It finally dawned on me that because of Leah and
her bitches he knew all along. Was it all bullshit?
Holy fuck! I am an
idiot.
He’d seemed so genuine. I couldn’t deal with this. My tears came
back full force.
“Hurt me? He wanted to intentionally hurt me? He
promised.” I was trying to remember. “I ran out of the club. I remember leaving.
I don’t remember anything after that.”
“According to the statements that were given, you
ran into a few people who were arguing and you were pushed. You fell and hit
the back of your head on the curb. Brett had just arrived at the club, saw you
on the ground, ran into the club after calling 911, and rushed to find me and
Alex.”
“As if Alex would care . . . I lost everything—my
sight, my work, the only man I’ve ever loved—it’s all gone. Why didn’t he talk
to me? Why was his first instinct to hurt me and not believe my feelings were
real? Were his feelings real or was he playing me?”
“I don’t think he was playing you, and I don’t
think you do either, but you can ask him. He’s been here since Saturday night.”
“What day is it?”
“It’s Thursday. You’ve been here for five days. Do
you want me to get Alex?”
Did I? No, unfortunately, in my blackness all I could
see was him and Leah. My last visual memory was my so-called boyfriend making
out with Leah. “No, I don’t want to see him, ever. Tell him to leave and not
come back.” Saying those words tore at my heart. I couldn’t feel anything
anymore. I felt dead inside. There was a knock on the door, and I heard it
open.
“Sweetheart, can we come in?”
Julie let go of my hand. “It’s your mom and dad. I’ll
let you guys talk.”