United State of Love (24 page)

The tears pricked her eyes. Anna couldn't face him yet. She'd wait until he went out and then take her chance to leave. That way she wouldn't have to torture herself just by seeing him, being in the same room as him but not being able to have him, not being wanted.

There was a gentle knock at the door. Anna quickly pulled the duvet up, snuggled down and closed her eyes. She heard the door open and Tex walk into the room over to the edge of the bed. She lay perfectly still, willing him to leave. She heard him pick up the empty tablet pack and then drop it back down again. Her heart was beating faster and faster. She could just tell he was kneeling down beside her. He stroked her hair.

‘You can't pretend to be asleep forever,’ he said. Anna could hear the amusement in his voice. ‘I can see your eyes fluttering.’ Anna opened her eyes. ‘Hey. How are you feeling?’ He smiled a soft, loving smile. One she had seen a hundred times before, one that melted her every time she saw it. She stuck her hand out from the duvet and gave the 'thumbs down' sign.

‘I'm not surprised. I don't think I have ever seen you that drunk.’ Again he stroked her hair. ‘Why don't you have a shower? It will make you feel better. I'll make you a nice cup of tea.’

‘I borrowed one of your t-shirts,’ said Anna as she came into the living room after her shower. ‘Hope you don't mind, but I couldn't find mine.’ She felt uncomfortable and embarrassed.

‘Your t-shirt’s in the dryer. You got something down it last night and your watch is here by the sink. It needed a clean’ Tex didn't elaborate and Anna didn't ask. She didn't want to know. ‘Sit down. I've made you a cup of tea. There's some toast. Try and have some.’

‘Thanks.’ Anna was grateful for the tea and although she wasn't keen on eating anything, did so, pleased to find that it did actually settle her stomach a bit.

‘Mark phoned you last night. He kept ringing your mobile so in the end I sent a message, just to say you wouldn’t be home last night.

‘You should have just ignored him.’

‘I did think about that but then I wondered whether it may be urgent.’

‘Yes, of course. Thank you.’ Great. Now she'd had Mark chasing her up like she needed to explain herself to him. Get his permission to stay out. Christ it was like being a teenager with overprotective parents. Mind you, she had behaved like an irresponsible teenager. Getting so drunk she had to be taken home and looked after. ‘About last night, Tex. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause any problems for you.’

‘Actually, it's me who should be apologising to you.’ Tex sat down next to her on the sofa, putting his cup on the coffee table. Resting his elbows on his knees, he put his hands together as if in prayer, raising them to his mouth briefly. He took a deep breath. ‘When you came to the restaurant last night, I wasn't entirely honest with you.’

‘Oh?’

‘I let you think there was something going on between myself and Christine.’

Anna shot him a sideways look. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I wanted to make you jealous. I wanted to make you come back to me. I hated the thought of you being with Mark and I wanted you to know what it felt like.’ He rubbed his stubble with the palm of his hand. ‘When you assumed I was with Christine, I didn't deny it on purpose.’

Anna fixed her gaze on her cup. Her heart had done a double flip when she realised what he was saying. She took her time before responding.

‘That was a bit of a shitty thing to do,’ she said at last.

‘I know and I am truly sorry.’ He touched her arm lightly. The surge of excitement that zinged through her, made Anna flinch involuntarily. Tex took his hand away. ‘There's something I wanna say to you. Something important I wanna tell you. I don't want you to say anything. Not today. Maybe you could have a think about what I'm about to say, and we could meet tomorrow when you’re feeling better.’

Anna looked quizzically at him. ‘Okay,’ she said, putting her cup down. This sounded serious.

So he loved her. He adored her and everything about her. Said he had never felt like this about anyone. She had been on his mind all the time, wondering where she was, what she was doing. He had missed her more than he thought was possible.

There was one thing he had said he needed to ask, about Mark. Had she slept with him? Anna had shaken her head. No, she hadn't slept with him and no, she didn't want to. The look of relief on Tex's face had been apparent, but almost immediately followed by a clouded look. Whatever it was that was holding her back, and he knew it was something to do with Mark, if only she could tell him, he was sure they could work things out. He said he could make her happy. They could be happy together.

He hadn't wanted to discuss it that morning. Said she was too hung-over and he needed to get to work. He wanted to meet her tomorrow, when she felt better and had had time to think things over. Really think about what he had said.

‘All you have to do is trust me,’ Tex had said tenderly. They had gone out onto the balcony for some much needed fresh air. Standing side by side, leaning on the railing, gazing out across the River Arun and the town beyond, he had turned to face her, gently turned her to look at him when he had said, ‘I love you, Anna. Don’t you ever forget that.’

Tex had brought Anna's car back from the restaurant for her, parking it in the underground car park. He popped back up with the keys, telling her to go home and get some sleep. He would see her tomorrow.

Anna had nodded. They had stood, awkwardly looking at each other for a moment. It had felt so wrong not having any physical contact. Spontaneously, Anna had put her arms around Tex's neck and hugged him, closing her eyes, feeling the warmth of his body against hers. Tex had hesitated before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer to him. They had stood there, clinging to each other, neither wanting to let go. It was Tex who had moved away first. He had stroked her face, smiled an almost sad smile, before turning away and heading off to work.

After Tex had left for the restaurant, she had stayed at the apartment for another two hours, dozing on and off, waiting for the worst of her hangover to subside, thinking about what he had said.

Just being with him again confirmed what she really knew all along. She wanted to be with him. Anna knew she had to be honest with Tex. She didn't want to lose him. He had thrown their relationship a lifeline and she wasn't going to let it slip away. She wanted to make things work between them. He had been honest with her. He hadn't stopped loving her. She couldn't ask for anyone more attentive, more considerate, more patient or more caring. She knew he loved her and, yes, she felt she could finally admit it to herself. She loved him. Anna Barnes loved Tex Garcia.

Admitting this, acknowledging this fact alone, made Anna feel as if the blanket of sadness that had swamped her in recent weeks had slipped from her shoulders. Her heart felt as if it would burst, not from pain as it had felt before, but with unconditional love. She was deeply in love and she was deeply loved.

She grinned to herself. ‘Hello me!’ she said out loud. She felt as if she had been re-awakened, kick-started back into life. It almost made her forget how hung-over she still felt.

‘Oh, you decided to come home then.’ Mark’s voice was caustic.

Anna scowled at him, although it was no surprise to her that Mark wasn't particularly impressed with her staying out all night, but she hadn't quite expected him to be so cross.

‘I don't have to answer to you, in case you'd forgotten,’ she said airily. She ignored the surprised look on his face.

‘No, maybe not,’ replied Mark, ‘but when me and Luke get in after being out all day and have no idea where you are, it's perfectly understandable that we may be concerned. Then all we get is a text saying you’d be home in the morning.’

Anna said a silent prayer of thanks that at least Tex had had the foresight to send a message from her phone, to cover for her. ‘You knew I was fine, so what’s the problem?’

‘I expect you were too busy getting laid by lover boy,’ sneered Mark.

‘Don't start all that, Mark.’ Anna went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea and hunt out a paracetamol. Her head was beginning to throb again, she could feel herself relapsing back into full hangover territory. She called back into the room, hoping her voice didn't betray her lie, albeit a white one. ‘I wasn't well.’

‘Whatever.’ Mark appeared in the doorway. ‘Don't give me all that. You were getting your knickers off.’

‘You're so crude at times,’ snapped Anna, ‘usually when you're being spiteful and looking for an argument. Like now.’

‘I'm not looking for a row actually,’ countered Mark, stepping into the kitchen. ‘I am pretty pissed off with you and your behaviour though. You're a thirty-five-year-old mother, not a rebellious teenager and yet you insist on behaving like one. What sort of example are you to our son?’

‘You've got a nerve lecturing me about not being responsible. I don't remember it being one of your strong points.’

‘Why do you do that?’

‘What?’

‘Always bring up the past. You can't let it drop, can you? Every opportunity you get you bring it up.’ Mark looked accusingly at her.

‘So you admit you've been irresponsible in the past. Well, that's a first.’

‘You're the one who's looking for a row. You're in a stinking mood,’ scolded Mark. Then spitefully, ‘Lover boy dump you?’

‘Get lost, Mark.’

‘Ooh! Touched a nerve, did I?’ He was taunting her now.

Anna's response was intercepted by the bleeping of her phone with a message. She retrieved the mobile out of her bag in the living room. It was from Tex.

Hope you’re okay. See you tomorrow. X

‘So what exactly was wrong with you last night?’ The sound of Mark's voice right behind her startled Anna. Christ, he was like a second shadow, every time she turned round he was there. She popped her phone back into her bag and brushed past him, marching back into the kitchen to finish making her cup of tea.

‘I was sick, all right? ’ Anna dropped the teabag into the bin. Would he ever shut up?

‘You two arguing again?’ Luke was now standing in the kitchen.

‘Oh, hi, Luke.’ Anna smiled at her son, disguising her thoughts. He'd better not start either. ‘You okay?’

Luke grunted and nodded. Anna took that as a yes.

‘I was just trying to find out from your mum exactly what the problem was last night.’

‘For God's sake, Mark!’ Anna's voice was louder than she meant it to be, she winced. That hurt her head. She closed her eyes for a moment, waiting for the shooting pain to stop.

‘Oh, I get it,’ Mark said sarcastically. ‘You were drunk, weren't you?’

‘Give it a rest, Mark!’ Anna could hear her voice rising involuntarily, despite her headache.

‘I expect you were sick. Not from illness though, but from drink.’ Mark looked very pleased with himself.

‘You were out drinking?’ Luke sounded surprised.

‘Of course she was,’ replied Mark before Anna had a chance to say anything. ‘And she was out with whatshisname? The Yank.’

He was doing it on purpose.

‘Tex,’ Anna snapped. ‘His name is Tex.’

‘There, told you so. She's not denying it, is she?’

‘Mum?’ Luke looked questioningly at his mother.

‘It's not quite like that,’ began Anna. What could she say? Like Mark said, she couldn't actually deny it.

‘No, no, of course it wasn't,’ mocked Mark acidly. ‘I expect it wasn't anything as sordid as a drunken night with your boyfriend. Well, not exactly your boyfriend, just your shag-friend.’

‘Mark!’ Anna looked indignantly at him. What was he thinking of, going through all this in front of Luke?

‘Listen to you. Trying to sound all prim and proper. Don't like it that your son may find out what you're really like.’ Outraged, Anna went to slap him but he grabbed her wrist in mid-air. ‘Tut, tut, tut. Violence isn't the answer.’ Mark thrust her hand away, then turning to Luke said, ‘Sorry you're having to see your mother like this.’

‘I hate you!’ screamed Anna. ‘Absolutely hate you! I can't wait until you clear off back to America. Even then, the other side of the Atlantic won't be far enough away.’

‘Mum! Stop!’ Alarmed, Luke stood between his parents.

‘Yes, why don't you just stop, Anna?’ chided Mark.

‘Why don't you?’ she shouted. ‘Why don't you just stop making my life a misery? Why don't you just leave me alone? Forever!’ She pushed her way past father and son and rushed upstairs, slamming the bedroom door and throwing herself onto the bed. Too angry to cry, she pounded the pillow with her fist.

Tex looked at his phone for the third time, rereading the message. He couldn't quite believe what Anna had sent him earlier.

Tex I dont want 2 c u any more dont contact me again its over from Anna

He passed the phone to Jamie, who held it so that Yvonne could read it at the same time.

‘
Ouch,’ commented Yvonne.

‘You can say that again.’ Jamie slid the phone back across the desk to his friend. They were seated in the office of the Arundel restaurant, having been to a client’s housewarming party in Brighton, and had called in on Tex on their way home. ‘Must say, I'm surprised she did it by text. Didn't think that was her style.’

‘Nor did I.’ Tex flopped back in his chair. ‘I thought I understood her. I obviously don’t know her at all.’

‘Have you tried talking to her?’ asked Yvonne.

‘What’s the point? I think that message says it all very clearly.’ Tex gestured accusingly towards his phone. ‘Although another part of me says that something is wrong. I’m sure it is something to do with Mark, but I don’t know what and Anna has never said.’

‘Sounds to me like she can't make her mind up,’ said Jamie. ‘I don't mean to sound harsh and it's probably not what you want to hear, but maybe she was using you to make him jealous.’

‘Jamie, you're supposed to be making him feel better, not worse,’ frowned Yvonne.

‘I'm also supposed to be his mate who tells him as it is,’ corrected Jamie.

‘It's okay, Yvonne,’ sighed Tex. ‘He's right to say that. And, yes, I had considered that she might wanna get back with him. To be honest, I don't know what to think any more.’ He had totally misread the whole situation and how she felt about him. She must have gone home, back to Mark. She didn't have the nerve to meet him tomorrow and tell him in person, she didn't even have the decency to speak to him. ‘I knew it wasn’t gonna be straightforward, getting involved with her, but I think I have to admit defeat. I give up.’

‘Anna! Anna!’ yelled Mark from the bottom of the stairs.

What did he want now? What time was it even? She cursed, remembering she had left her watch at Tex’s apartment. Judging by the chat show now on the telly, she guessed it was around midnight.

Anna peered down the stairwell at Mark. ‘What?’

Before he had time to speak, she could tell from the look on his face that something was wrong.

‘What is it?’ Pulling her dressing gown around her, she hurried down the stairs.

‘It's Luke. He's in St Richard’s Hospital,’ said Mark gravely. ‘He's been drinking and collapsed. Suspected alcohol poisoning. They said his condition is serious but stable.’

Tears sprang to Anna's eyes. ‘What does that mean?’

‘I’m not a doctor. How should I know? Now get dressed. Go on, don’t just stand there.’