He leaned forward and kissed her deeply again, feeling triumphant. She had given everything she had to him, just to him. He wanted to protect her and possess her all at the same time, but for now, he was content to stay beside her.
She rolled to her stomach and tucked her arms up under her chest. She looked at him with her cheek resting on the pillow. She smiled so sweetly in her self-protecting position, and Marcus knew she was still overwhelmed.
Seeing her wrapped up in herself didn’t bother him, though. Her eyes showed no fear. He lazily traced imaginary lines along the entire length of her back, looking at her the whole time. He placed a sweet kiss on her bare shoulder.
“Thank you for trusting me,” he finally said, very lovingly, tucking her hair behind her ear.
“Thank you for being someone I can trust,” she replied in the same loving tone.
Erin and Marcus laid in bed for a long time together after their passionate love-making. After a while, Erin rolled from her stomach to her side, facing Marcus. She laced her fingers into his, unable to believe how amazing he was.
His strong, hard body had been so gentle with her. He understood everything – how she was feeling and how to make her body feel so much pleasure. When the physical side was over, he cared that she was ok. She didn’t even know this sort of moment was possible.
Until now, she had always equated sex with fear. And now he was still beside her, and there was no fear. She felt foolish for having hidden for so long. His eyes were looking into hers with such intensity. She knew that look in his eye was a good thing, but she didn’t understand.
Was it always like this after sex? She had no idea. All she knew was that she loved how she felt, all warm and loose, and she loved that he was still right there with her. The sex may have been over, but the moment wasn’t.
“Marcus…” she said his name like a sigh, still looking at him. She saw him lean toward her and then felt a sweet, loving kiss on the tip of her nose. She couldn’t help but move closer to him and rest her cheek against his strong chest.
She moved her fingers along the hard planes of his pecs, and placed a few kisses against his skin. His strong arms wrapped around her and she sighed again, utterly content to be wrapped up in him.
The transformation in herself was complete. She realized that she had the potential for this kind of sensation, both physical and emotional, inside of her for her entire adult life. This sexy, confident person really was Erin. This Erin had been hiding under years of hurt.
Now that Marcus helped her break through all of her insecurities, she finally felt like her true self. She was confident and no longer afraid, not even nervous. She was so scared for so long for no reason. That one moment of fear from years ago no longer defined her.
Marcus had written in his first note,
You’re closer than you think.
Now she understood exactly what he meant. She was close because her strength and confidence were already there. She looked at him and smiled.
“Can I stay with you tonight?” Marcus asked. “I don’t want to let you go.”
“Yes,” she said with a wide smile. “I don’t want you to go either.” She stayed against his chest, and felt him start to relax into sleep after a while. She listened as his breathing steadied. She was still wide awake though, unable to believe the change in herself over the past few months.
Erin went from completely empty and closed off with almost no human relationships, to finding herself in love with Marcus and being completely lost in his arms. She nestled further into him while she let herself relax. No longer did her past matter. She opened herself up and found the most intense feelings from Marcus and from inside herself.
At about three a.m., though, Erin awoke to sounds coming from Marcus. He was having some sort of dream, and obviously not a pleasant one. From the glow of the alarm clock, Erin could see the pained, tense look on his face. His nonsense word-sounds were spoken in something that sounded like fear or panic.
She hated to see him like that, so she pushed at his shoulder and spoke his name, hoping to wake him up. He shot up into a sitting position on the bed, breathing heavily. He looked around, trying to get his bearings.
“Are you ok?” Erin asked, concerned.
“Erin–” he pulled her in to him almost roughly and buried his face into her neck, his face nearly covered by her bed-tousled hair. She felt his desperate need for her arms around him, so she held him as tightly as she could.
She hated that he seemed so afraid or upset, but she was so glad she was there to comfort him. He had offered her everything she needed, and she loved being able to give back to him. She could tell her touch was essential in that moment. She would give him everything she had.
Still keeping him in her arms, she moved up to her knees and scooted over to him. Now with more height over him, she pulled his head to rest against her breasts lovingly. She held his cheek there and stroked his short hair. She leaned down and kissed the top of his head.
“It’s ok,” she breathed. “You’re ok.” She continued to hold him for a long moment until he leaned away. He placed a kiss on each breast before looking up at her.
“Sorry. Nightmare.” He obviously did not want to go into any details.
“Come here,” she said simply, not even asking him about the dream. She knew he would appreciate that she didn’t ask. She figured his dream was either about his father or his fights, and either way, the source didn’t matter. She only wanted to comfort him.
She pulled him back down onto the bed, lying on her back and moving his head once again to her bosom. She only wanted to care for him as probably no woman ever had.
He welcomed her comfort and pulled his arms around her again, needing to be close to her. There was nothing sexual about the moment, only pure connection between them.
“Do you have a lot of nightmares?” Erin asked quietly.
“Not really. It just really sucks when I do,” Marcus said quietly, a slight edge to his voice.
“I get them, too, you know. I think it happens to anyone who’s had real fear. Our brains just can’t let it go. We can ignore it when we’re awake — push it down and lock it away. But once we sleep, all bets are off,” Erin said, in the still darkness around them.
Erin felt him nod against her chest. “Sounds about right.”
He was so vulnerable there in her arms. She never thought she’d see him like that. He was always strong and confident. This Marcus, accepting and needing her care, she knew was the scared boy he had been fifteen years earlier. That kind of pain never really goes away. And though he seemed so small in her arms, she felt even more love for him.
She couldn’t imagine that he ever let anyone see him like this. She was as good for him as he was for her, she realized in that moment. She leaned down and kissed his head again.
“You’re safe with me, too,” she dared to say. She didn’t want him the think that she thought of him as weak, but she needed him to know that she accepted him, no matter what side of him she was seeing.
“I know,” he nodded his head again and kissed her breast over her heart. She continued to stroke his face and hair lovingly until he fell back to sleep. She was wide awake again, feeling nothing but wonder at the night she was having. She smiled at the ceiling, then forced herself to relax so she could sleep.
She awoke to bright sunshine that Sunday morning and found Marcus still sleeping next to her, the sheets thrown off of him completely. She stared at him for a long while, really having a chance to look at his firm body. Every single muscle of his chest, shoulders and arms was thick and defined.
His body was the perfect form and could have been used as the example to which all male bodies were compared. His abs were tight and every muscle was defined in hard planes. The v-cut along his hips was so sexy and lead enticingly to the thick thatch of hair around his gorgeous manhood. He was so beautiful, and he was there with her.
She stared at him longer, appreciating his physique and remembering how he moved against her the night before. He was very skilled at bringing pleasure with that hard body, but he was so tender with his movements, and even more with his words.
He took care of her completely, inside and out. Giving herself to him brought her love to an even deeper level. She couldn’t imagine even a single day without him. She figured it was too soon to tell him, but she let herself float in the feeling.
That feeling also gave her a bit more confidence. She wanted more of his body and she couldn’t help but reach out and touch him again, hoping he’d respond and appreciate her touch.
Just with her finger tips, she reached for his chest and brushed along his strong muscles. She traced the lines of his abs and back up to his collar bone. He began to stir under her touch and she saw him open his eyes and look at her.
“Good morning,” she said, trying to sound seductive.
“Good morning,” he said back, pulling her close to him. Apparently she achieved “seductive” because his hands immediately roamed along her body. He rested his hand on her hip, then reached around and grasped at her bottom. He dragged her hips to his that way, then pulled her leg up over him. What scared her before only served to arouse her now. He erased every bit of her fear.
This morning, she was not as shy about her affections. He had been a generous lover to her, giving her pleasure at every turn last night. This morning, she wanted to return some of that to him. Feeling safe and confident with him, she began kissing at the base of his neck.
She mimicked some of the motions his tongue made against her neck last night, and he moaned and pulled her closer as she played along his neck and collar bone. She reached up and breathed softly into his ear. She whispered his name and told him of her desire for him. It took nearly all of her confidence to do that, and finding her own strength was powerful.
She moved back to his neck and licked and sucked with more intensity. Remembering how much time he spent giving attention to her breasts, she moved up and placed one near his mouth, offering her body to him willingly. He immediately sucked at her nipple and played along her soft skin with his tongue.
She pulled his head against her tightly, allowing his mouth to take her in almost completely. She pulled away only to move back down and place kisses along his chest and neck once again.
She dared to reach down toward his cock, and felt his hardness with her hand. She stroked along the length of him. She broke through the last bit of her shyness and was well rewarded for her bravery.
“Erin, God, you’re killing me here,” he said, rolling her over and settling between her legs again. “I want to take you, baby…you’ve got me so damn hot. I want inside of you.
Now
.”
She was so turned on by his desperate words, feeling strong and desirable. He reacted to her words and her tongue, just as she reacted to his the night before. Her breath was heavy and her voice was low and full of desire when she let herself say, “Yes…”
She felt him push slightly into her, apparently willing himself to go slowly as to not hurt her. At this point, they were both so hot in the moment that she didn’t care if he hurt her or not.
She grasped at him desperately and pulled him into her further. He let out a load moan and pushed into her so deeply, so fully. She was a little sore and completely stretched by him, but she didn’t care. The feeling was intense and pure pleasure. “Marcus, I need you…,” she said raggedly against his neck. “Please don’t hold back.”
He leaned up and looked her in the eyes. He found the heat and desire he was looking for and wasted no more time on restraint. He moved against her almost roughly, his pace fast and desperate, matching her breath for breath. He called her name and grunted in pleasure as he moved inside of her.
She clutched at the skin of his back and shoulders, allowing the moans to come from her mouth as loudly as they needed to. She wouldn’t hold back, either. They moved together with abandon, bringing each other even higher pleasure than they had the night before.
They came together, sweaty and tangled up in each others bodies. They were both still breathing heavily when Marcus took both of her hands and held them gently against the pillow above her head. He had just claimed her completely with his whole body, and the movement of his hands only made her feel more connected to him.
Still riding the high from the heated demand of their bodies, he kept her hands over her head and licked the sweat deliberately from her neck. He lingered there, sucking at the skin of her neck and shoulders. The flat, long licks from his tongue were not meant to seduce. His slow need was as raw as the sex they just had.
He used his teeth to graze softly against the skin he was savoring. Erin found herself enjoying this side of Marcus as much as she had the gentler side. He was taking from her what was already his, and his need was so sexy to her. All she could do was accept every sensation from him. She moaned against him, happily unable to move.
“You are pure sex,” Marcus said to her between licks. “I love how you taste. I love how you feel under me.”
Again, Erin felt strong and desirable. She wanted to stay pinned under him forever. He could have her as often as he wanted and in any way that he wanted. She just didn’t want the pleasure to stop.