Chapter 2
Derrick walked into his dental office wearing a big smile. “Good morning, Phyllis,” he greeted his office manager on his way to his office.
“Good morning, Doctor. What are you so happy about this morning?”
He looked over his shoulder and answered, “Life.”
Today, life was good for Derrick Garrison, DDS. He'd been tracking Staci's menstrual cycle for months, and he was sure he had the right day. If anything was going to happen, it was going to be today. To ensure the connection was made, he had denied himself the entire month to make sure he had a plenteous supply for this day. Yes, today was the day. He was sure he'd impregnated Staci this morning.
He knew Staci hadn't enjoyed their encounter this morning, but that was a minor detail. Once she was pregnant, he would take more care and more time to satisfy her needs.
You said the same thing last month and the month before that and before that,
his conscience reminded him, but he quickly shook that thought away. Surely Staci understood how much he wanted to have a baby after what happened before. They would have the rest of their lives to enjoy their lovemaking. He wanted a baby right now, especially since his boys, Marcus and Brian, were expecting.
True, Derrick hadn't been able to hold a conversation with his wife without it turning into an argument, and, yes, he spent more time than needed at the office, but his office had only been open a year and he needed to work hard to survive, he rationalized. Derrick completely ignored the fact that his first year had been so successful, he had to hire another dentist and a hygienist to assist with the patient load. He attributed his phenomenal success to the favor of God. Now, if God would favor him with a baby, he'd be happy.
“Maybe I should bring her some flowers or cook her favorite meal for dinner,” he mumbled from his guilty conscience. He considered the notion, but then decided against it, not wanting to leave the office early.
Derrick sat at his desk and studied his schedule for the day. Three root canals, six fillings, and a crown.
Not bad,
he thought. His eyes roamed his office. Staci had done a wonderful job of decorating it for him. The doctor's private office resembled the office of a business executive. He loved the oversized oak desk and matching custom cabinet and bookshelf. The blue window treatments matched perfectly with the blue specks in the plush gray carpet. One wall was reserved for his degrees, the other three were covered with framed African American art. On his desk, a fourteen carat gold-trimmed name plate read: Derrick Garrison, DDS.
“You always know how to take care of me,” he said in reference to his wife after he opened the minirefrigerator Staci kept stocked with his favorite snacks for the times when he wouldn't be able to take a lunch break.
In his opinion, Staci was the perfect wife. She even bought his clothes because, as Staci put it, he didn't have a clue when it came to color coordination. On their first official date, he wore blue jeans, an orange-and green-striped shirt, tan jacket, and black shoes.
After opening the cabinet that encased his minisound system and hitting the PLAY button, Derrick picked up the picture of him and Staci on their wedding day while enjoying the jazz sounds of Tim Bowman. There was no one on earth more beautiful than his Staci; maybe his mother, but in a different way. He loved Staci's smooth, light brown skin and shoulder-length, naturally curly hair. Staci was his heart, his love, the only woman he'd been intimate with, and the only one he wanted. No one knew him like Staci, and that's the way he liked it.
They went through a very rocky time after breaking their vows to God and practicing fornication and ended up with an unplanned pregnancy. It took awhile, but Derrick was able to forgive Staci for having an abortion, and then married her. Derrick never doubted Staci loved him no matter what and would always be there for him. She showed him every day, even on days like today when he'd shown little regard for her feelings. He knew no matter what time he strolled into the house, dinner would be waiting for him in the microwave and his pajamas lying on the chaise. If he needed anything, Staci would stop whatever she was doing and be right by his side.
Why can't you show her the same consideration? Why can't you show her how much you love her?
“Staci knows how much I love her,” he said out loud to his conscience.
I don't know how; you haven't told her in a while.
Derrick didn't have time to battle with his mind. He quickly changed into his work smock and went to see his first patient.
Chapter 3
“Good morning, Chloe,” Staci greeted her secretary as she retrieved her messages.
“Mr. Simone would like to see you when you get a minute.”
“Thanks, Chloe, tell him I'm here.”
Staci set her briefcase on her desk and stared out the window. The San Francisco skyline was obstructed by a thick blanket of fog hovering over the Bay. The sight reminded her of the fog that had settled over her marriage. She knew it was there, but she couldn't see it clearly; just an outline of what was supposed to be. Her first-year wedding anniversary was only a few weeks away. She had to do something to chase the dark clouds away from her marriage, but what? Staci prayed every day and read every scripture she knew about marriage. Now it was time to be innovative. She had to figure how to get her husband interested in her again before her marriage fell apart.
“A wise woman builds her house,” she mumbled. That's what she'd heard all her life at church and at home. Being the only daughter allotted her plenty of one-on-one time with her mother. Having been married for almost thirty-five years, Alaina Simone was a good role model. As far as Staci's memory could take her, her parents have always been in love and didn't care who knew it. Many times she and her brothers would catch them kissing or playing games with each other, but they didn't care. Carey and Alaina felt it was important for their children to see healthy and loving interaction in the home.
Alaina respected Carey as a king. Carey practically worshipped the ground Alaina walked on. From observing her mother, Staci knew how to make a man feel like the king of his castle. She knew how to balance working outside the home and at the same time not neglect her man. Alaina had successfully run an advertising agency and raised three children.
From her father, Staci learned how a woman should be honored and cherished. As a little girl, her father opened doors for her and pulled out chairs. He brought her flowers on her birthday and candy on Valentine's Day. When she was sick, he prayed for her, and he always kissed her good night. For her sixteenth birthday, her father took her on her first date to dinner at a revolving restaurant overlooking San Francisco, and then to see
Phantom of the Opera
. In her eyes, Carey Simone was the ultimate man. That's what attracted her to Derrick.
In the beginning, Derrick gave her the same love and respect her father had. When she was with him, Derrick made her feel like she was the most important person in the world. When they were together, she never had to worry about anything. She felt secure and loved. That was then; now, most of the time, she felt open and vulnerable.
Spiritually, she knew Derrick was falling too. She hadn't seen him reading his Bible lately, and his morning-prayer and meditation hour had dwindled to a quick recital of rehearsed words.
Staci sat at her desk and turned on her computer. She was smiling at her wedding picture screen saver when Marcus stepped into her office.
“Good morning, I have an idea I want to run by you.” Marcus walked around her desk and stood next to her and spread the blueprints out on the desk.
Staci loved her big brother beyond measure. Marcus was more than her brother; he was her friend. Marcus trusted Staci with his life and more important, with his money, and allowed her to run MS Computers while he pursued his music career. On paper, Marcus was the CEO and Staci the COO. In actuality, they were more like partners. Marcus never made a final decision without Staci's input. And as long as the bottom line showed a profit, Marcus gave Staci the liberty to run the company as she saw fit.
“What's on your mind?” Staci asked.
“These are the floor plans for our fourth store.”
“I didn't know you wanted to go ahead with this so soon,” she replied with a raised eyebrow. “Do you really think Corte Madera has the right market?”
“Based on the research I've done, I think it's perfect.”
Marcus was probably right. She hadn't had a chance to look over the research yet.
“I want to get this out of the way while Shannon's pregnant. After the twins are born, I'm taking some time off from music and the business. You know, to do the father thing.”
“I wish it was me taking time off to do the mother thing.” Staci hoped her desperation didn't sound in her voice.
“Give it some time. You haven't been married a year yet.”
She rolled her eyes. “That's easy for you to say. Shannon got pregnant on your honeymoon.”
“What can I say? I've got some powerful stuff,” Marcus chuckled. “Give my boy some time. He'll catch on.”
“How is Shannon?” Staci had to redirect the conversation before she said something she'd regret. Marcus didn't know she and Derrick had premarital sex so she couldn't tell him Derrick had plenty of practice and when he wanted to be, was a very skillful lover.
“My baby is wonderful. She's starting to show more, and she is too cute carrying my babies.”
Marcus beamed and Staci felt a tug of jealousy. Not because her sister-in-law was expecting, but because she wanted Derrick's face to light up like Marcus's when he talked about her. Marcus loved Shannon, and he made sure she and everyone else knew it.
“We're getting together this weekend with Brain and Lashay. Are you and Derrick hanging with us?” Marcus asked.
Staci didn't have any idea what her husband's plans were for the weekend. Before his inversion, it was a given he'd be hanging out with his boys on the weekends. But now, Staci didn't know what Derrick's plans were from day to day. She didn't even know if he was coming home for dinner.
“I'll have him call you.” Staci turned her attention back to the prints. “Let's get back to business.”
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Derrick walked into his bedroom after eleven o'clock and found Staci asleep with her opened Bible pressed against her chest. He leaned over her and brushed a curl from her face. He appreciated her naturally curly hair; he would never have to wake up to the horrific sight of rollers and a hair scarf. Carefully, he removed the Bible and placed it on the oak nightstand, then kissed her. She didn't move. When he returned from the shower, she was still lying there on her back. He pulled back the down comforter and was welcomed by the soft fragrance she used on the sheets. He crawled into their king-sized bed and with his fingertips, outlined her face.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered, before kissing her lips. That's when her eyelids fluttered, and she gazed groggily at him.
“How was your day?” she whispered and offered him a half smile. Still half-asleep, she turned unto her side.
“Better now that I'm with you.” Derrick pulled her into his arms and to his chest. Her soft warm body brought back the morning's attack.
“Baby, I'm sorry about this morning. I'll make it up to you next time.” He really meant those words, hoping Staci was pregnant. She didn't respond to his apology, probably because she'd heard it before, he reasoned.
“It's late. Where have you been?”
“I went to visit my mother.”
Staci raised her head and looked at him almost accusingly. “When I talked to her this afternoon she didn't mention that she was expecting you.”
“She wasn't,” he answered, then pressed her body closer to his. “I decided to stop by at the last minute.”
Staci pulled away from him and made direct eye contact again. “Derrick, when are you going to decide to spend time with your wife?”
“Staci, you know I've been busy at the office,” he answered and brought her back to him. It was easier talking to her without having to look into her sad eyes.
Staci rested against his chest and wrapped her arms around him. “Honey, I know you're busy. I'm busy too, but I always make time for you. Why can't you make the same effort for me?”
Derrick kissed her forehead. “I will, baby.”
Staci was too sleepy to remind him that he'd been saying those same words to her for at least three months.
Chapter 4
“If I have to pull over for one more bathroom break, we're stopping at Walgreens for a pack of Depends.” Staci and her girls were trying to make it to the annual lingerie show at Union Square in San Francisco, but at the rate her cousin Lashay and her sister-in-law Shannon were going, the show would be over by the time they arrived. They had already stopped twice prior to this stop.
“You try carrying twins and see how well you control your bladder,” Shannon said, after adjusting her seat belt.
“Girl, if you try to hand me a Depends, I will cut your hand off.” From the backseat, Lashay rolled her eyes at Staci.
Staci pulled back into traffic for the third time, then glanced at her girls. That's when the thought came to her. Shannon was twelve weeks pregnant with twins and Lashay, sixteen weeks pregnant.
“Why are we going to a lingerie show? Don't you think it's a little late for lingerie? You guys are already knocked up,” Staci asked.
“Pregnant or not, I can still look sexy,” Shannon answered. “I'm still a newlywed, you know.”
“I won't be pregnant forever,” Lashay responded. “Plus, my anniversary and Brian's birthday is coming up, and this year, I'm going to make him give me his birthright.”
“Girl, you are crazy,” Staci said, once she stopped laughing.
“I know what you mean,” Shannon jumped in. “All I have to do is show Marcus red lace, and he's as humble as a little baby. He will even suck his thumb.”
Staci released the steering wheel long enough to grab Shannon's hand. “I've got to shake the hand of the woman that broke my conceited brother down to a helpless invalid.”
“In all fairness, Marcus has a right to be conceited. He can back up everything he says,” Shannon said, after the handshake. “Can't you tell? I'm just as messed up as your brother.”
“We know!” Lashay and Staci said in unison, causing Shannon to blush.
“Girl, don't be embarrassed. Brian messed me up so bad on my wedding night, it took me three days to remember my name.”
“Lashay, you are so crazy.” Staci was near tears.
“That's all?” Shannon asked, jokingly. “I don't think all my thinking faculties returned until the end of that first week.”
“You guys are too much.” Staci wiped her eyes. She hadn't laughed this hard in a long time.
“And you're not? I know Dr. Garrison has shown you some new . . .
procedures,”
Lashay baited.
“And some new technology,” Shannon added.
“He's certainly shown me something new,” Staci answered, not wanting to dampen the playfulness with her problems. She couldn't tell her girls that in less than a year her husband had become bored with her.
“And tonight, you're going to show
him
something new,” Lashay assumed. “Follow my lead. I'm not buying anything that has more than half a yard of material. And half of that must be see-through.”
Shannon turned around. “That's why you're going to spend the next ten years pregnant.”
Staci laughed along with her girls but ached inside. There was no chance of Derrick touching her tonight. Her cycle had started the day before, much to Derrick's disappointment. He even had the nerve to ask her if she was secretly taking birth control pills. Lashay's suggestion did give Staci an idea for her anniversary celebration, though.
The traffic approaching the toll booth leading to the Bay Bridge was more congested this Saturday than on regular commute days.
“This is why I hate going into the city,” Staci complained and hit the steering wheel. “Why can't people stay home?”
Lashay and Shannon ignored Staci's frustration and continued reveling in marital bliss.
“I can't take it anymore,” Shannon exclaimed, then dug into her purse for her cell phone. “All this talk about my baby is making me miss him.”
“Me too,” Lashay pouted, but before she opened her cell phone, Brian's ringtone sounded.
Staci fixed her eyes on traffic to avoid seeing the joy radiating from her sister-in-law's and cousin's faces. Nor did she want to hear the enduring sentiments being conveyed from Shannon to Marcus or Lashay's giggling from the backseat. Staci willed her ears to only hear the light jazz sounds coming from the radio. However, there was nothing Staci could do to soothe the ache she felt in her heart.
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After four hours of shopping with her girls and endless trips to the bathroom, Staci was armed with enough ammunition to rekindle the flame in her marriage; at least she hoped it would. She was too excited to go home to an empty house after dropping Lashay and Shannon off at the parking garage, so she decided to stop by and visit with Miss Cora. She hadn't seen her mother-in-law in over a month and had been thinking about her all day.
Miss Cora was dying from cancer. What originally started as breast cancer had metastasized to her lungs. That was one reason Staci tolerated Derrick's recent, inconsiderate behavior. He was very close to his mother, she being the only parent he knew. After his mother dies, Derrick wouldn't have any connection to his roots and at times that was unbearable for him. During those times, he would be even more distant than he normally was.
Derrick had never seen his white father, but his mother didn't keep the details surrounding his conception a secret. Not that Miss Cora was proud, but she felt Derrick deserved to know the truth. It was common knowledge in the Garrison household that Dr. John Archer didn't want a scandal to interfere with his marriage or with his plans to advance his career. Therefore, he paid Miss Cora good money to keep Derrick out of sight and out of mind. Miss Cora made sure Derrick's education, including dental school, was all taken care of by the good doctor. The only thing Derrick lacked was his father's presence and love.
Staci used her key to let herself into Miss Cora's house. “Miss Cora,” she called, stepping into the living room.
“Staci, is that you?”
“Yes,” Staci answered cheerfully, happy that Miss Cora's voice was strong. Some days she could only speak above a whisper.
“I'm back here on the patio.”
Staci nearly skipped through the house. If Miss Cora was on the patio, then she was having a good day.
“Hi, Miss Cora.” Staci bent down and kissed her mother-in-law on the cheek, then sat on one of the patio chairs opposite her. “How are you feeling today?”
“I am wonderful today; not in any pain at all,” Miss Cora answered with a smile.
Staci studied her face to see if she was telling the truth. There had been many days when Miss Cora would deny the pain she was in just to keep people from making a fuss over her.
“Is my son with you?”
A stranger would have never guessed Miss Cora was talking about Derrick. He didn't resemble his mother at all. Even with her head bald and blotchy skin, Staci could tell Cora Ann Garrison was once a beautiful woman. When she met her seven years ago, Staci thought she resembled Diahann Carroll.
“No, Miss Cora. I don't know where Derrick is.” Staci quickly looked away, hoping Miss Cora missed the loneliness in her eyes. Miss Cora didn't miss anything; she just waited until now to voice her concern.
“Staci, I owe you an apology.”
“For what, Miss Cora?” Staci moved closer, giving her undivided attention.
Before Miss Cora rested back in the chair, she took a sip of water. “I've been thinking a lot lately. I messed Derrick up. I should have insisted that John included some quality time with his son along with his monthly check.”
Staci narrowed her eyes and tried to follow Miss Cora's train of thought.
“I have been in denial about Derrick most of his life. He needed a father more than I realized. His uncle did what he could, but my brother couldn't fill Derrick's need for a father. For years, I thought Derrick was just trying to overachieve because he wanted to make me proud. He had to be the best student, the best football player, the best Christian, and now, the best dentist.”
Staci would rather he work hard at being the best husband.
“I've since realized he wasn't trying to please me at all. Derrick was trying to make his father accept him. Derrick was trying to be this perfect person in hopes of gaining his father's acceptance.”
Staci didn't quite understand what Derrick and his father had to do with her. “Miss Cora, you don't have to apologize to me for that.”
“Huh?” Miss Cora appeared momentarily confused, and then recovered. “Yes, I do. You're absorbing the blows that are intended for me and John Archer.” Miss Cora used her elbows to lean closer to Staci. “I've been watching how Derrick doesn't know how to relay his real feelings to you. That boy spends more time away from home than he does at home. Like the other night, I had to make him go home.”
“You're right about that,” Staci snickered.
“I know I'm right. Derrick is introverted and insecure. But the sad part is he doesn't know or at least he won't admit to it.” Miss Cora shook her head. “Baby, I tell you that boy is half crazy.”
“Oh,” was the only response Staci had. Staci had been in denial herself about Derrick. She really thought she could change him.
“On the other hand, my son is a good man. He just doesn't know it yet. Unfortunately, you're going to have to suffer until he recognizes the awesome person he is. But, when his light comes on, trust me, it's going to shine bright. I probably won't be around to see it, but I know he's going to shine and be a good husband to you eventually.”
Staci wanted to scream:
how long?
“Is there anything I can do to help him?” she asked instead.
“Pray for him. Can't nobody but God help my baby.”